Time for our finalists to duke it out against one another! Hopefully this was worth waiting for. Let's first reply to more reviews, though.
acosta perez jose ramiro: Lindsay should definitely be proud of getting third place, though season one would beg to differ on the blonde being "a graceful loser" when lashing out against Heather upon realizing she'd been duped :P.
SideshowJazz1: Not gonna lie, I knew it was predictable for Lindsay to go home as soon as Mike was eliminated when Scott is romantically involved with Courtney. She most certainly was overdue for a ranking higher than 6th from TDA (her canon peak). While I love the idea of her winning it all, there's no way our busty blonde could realistically beat the CIT or the ginger in this season's finals. As someone who enjoys both Lindsay and Harold much more than Beth or Duncan, I admittedly would've preferred a Harold vs. Lindsay finale over Duncan going against Beth in the final 2, and am pretty sure it's what would've happened if the blonde didn't accidentally vote herself off in "Rock n' Rule". Feel free to PM me for details on my theory for what most likely would've happened with her still in the game. Mr. McGrady indeed was more deserving than the delinquent.
That British Guy: To be fair, lots of weird things happened involving both within this fic.
Phenomenal Ultra Instinct: Sorry for the heartbreak, though I do agree it's very nice to have Lindsay outrank Heather by 7 placements. The blonde did handle her loss maturely and knew it was inevitable with our (formerly) multi-personality teen getting eliminated earlier in the day.
GlitchWarrior: Nice to know you enjoyed the final four, and you'll find out soon enough who gets shot out from the sky. I'm not spoiling that here. It was natural to have Mal defeated earlier than in the original timeline when he doesn't have as much control this time around (thanks to the boulder hit being averted and a shovel being used in place when Mike tried to "reset" his other personas).
Harmony735: Thank you very much!
TheNoobyBoy: Glad you enjoyed Lindsay in this fic. She deserved much better than what canon TDAS gave her, so I took it into my own hands to ensure the blonde was served justice. As for Mike, it was hard not to have him get last place when his item was the hardest to locate, and hopefully I gave a better end for Mal and his other personalities than the actual All-Stars season did.
Critica7: This fic admittedly isn't for everyone, though I'm glad you overall still enjoy it. I can understand calling Heather's choice to hide the idol among rocks stupid, but what stupid choice did Alejandro make (aside from arguably getting rid of her pre-merge)? Even if Mal wasn't the most proactive villain, let's not downplay what he did in canon (i.e. tampered with votes at the merge, orchestrated Al and Courtney's eliminations, played mind games with everybody by impersonating Mike, broke some things, duped Scott with the Fang trap and Gwen with the painting collection) or here (i.e. ensure Mr. Burromuerto and Sam went home when he wanted them to, interfere with each of his opponents collecting treasure in the final 4, tricked others into thinking he was Mike so they wouldn't catch onto his plans so easily if at all). Another thought to consider is him doing things off-camera that none of the contestants saw. Let's give him some credit. To be fair, he couldn't do as much as in canon during this fic when he had less control given the difference of shovel vs. boulder hit.
SCOOTNEY fan: I presume you meant to spell your name as "SCOTTNEY fan" :P. Focusing more on your point, Lindsay definitely had another one of her smart moments.
CreepCatDog: If possible, I'd prefer for you to post your future reviews in English. Now (presuming I translated correctly), the next chapter is finally here!
On with the finale!
It has finally arrived at long last. The day where Scott Gordon goes with me, Courtney Gomez, to the finals in Total Drama All-Stars. I can still hardly believe this is happening against all odds! Chances are he feels about as excited as me (which is saying quite a lot). One benefit of waking up in the hotel this morning is that I'm guaranteed a quality breakfast no matter what happens later in the day. Speaking of breakfast, something smells good in the kitchen and my stomach has started rumbling. That of course needs to be addressed promptly.
Heading to the kitchen, I find some steaming hot French toast covered in syrup and sitting on a plate. No objections to that! I happily eat all of that and it tastes delightful. If only my boyfriend could enjoy it with me. Oh well. After breakfast is finished, I drink some of the coffee nearby before going to clean my teeth and get dressed. Not long afterwards, I see a few interns packing up my belongings. This was probably inevitable with the finale approaching even if nobody could know the island would sink today. I at least hope Mike and Zoey didn't lose their things when it collapsed in the original timeline. Either way, all of mine was shipped back to my house by the time I returned home when first living through the season, which I'm quite grateful for.
Before the finale begins, I'd like to make one last confessional, so I head for the outhouse and look right at its camera once inside. I tell it "Becoming a finalist at long last really feels great, especially since Scott also made it all the way here with me! Here's hoping I win. However, if I don't, then him taking the crown is the next best thing. It's a good thing Scott and I splitting the money either way. Regarding the past few eliminations, as much as I knew voting off Zoey would help me have an easier time in the final 4, part of me also felt guilty seeing how much it broke Mike's heart when she got eliminated two nights ago. My choice was nothing personal against either of them; I purely voted for her as a strategic move when she's known to be a threat in this game, and he had immunity for the night. Having to find out that day how his evil Mal persona had returned was already distressing, and the flushing just made things worse for him. The guy has my sympathy. I'm also very proud of him for conquering his inner demon before getting the flush yesterday. Taking out Mal truly made him a hero and he left the game with honor. Here's hoping some psychiatry can help his mental health since Mike plans to get some of that once this season sends. As for Lindsay, I obviously wasn't going to send my boyfriend home when there was a chance to take him to the finale with me! Good thing she took that well and understood why it had to be done. The blonde also saw it coming well in advance. I must give her props for making the top 3 and becoming the highest-ranking member of the Hamsters team. Admittedly a far better placement than I would've initially guessed. With two Vultures left—Scott and me—we'll find out soon enough who gets its top spot."
Right as I exit the confessional, Chris announces through his megaphone "Good morning, finalists! Meet me in the forest clearing and get ready to diet! Sorry, typo: ready to die!"
Perfect timing on my part. I simply comply and meet up with the ginger on my way over. He smiles upon seeing me. The two of us hold hands as we walk. He eagerly tells me "It's really exciting both of us made it all the way to the final 2! Glad we could follow through on earlier plans."
"The feeling is mutual." I concur, adding "May the best player win."
"Deal." Scott affirms. "One good thing is that neither of us will leave empty-handed when we'll split the money no matter who wins."
"You've got a point there, now game on." I reply before we briefly peck each other on the lips.
We arrive at our destination several minutes later. Chef and the host are standing in front of a large booth with a closed curtain, and the latter greets us with "Congratulations on making it to the finale! It's something you'll regret for the rest of your lives, which will likely be rather short since this final challenge is so vicious, so brutal, so savage, that our lawyers said we had to change it."
"In other words, less dangerous." the ginger adds.
"No, but we told them we did!" Chris replies with a chuckle, and then turns to our cook and says "Hi-five!" with one hand in the air.
Hatchet doesn't return it, saying "People gonna die."
"Yeah, those people." McLean replies while pointing his thumb towards my finale opponent and me.
"You wish!" I retort.
The curtain opens as our host instructs "Combatants, choose your weapons! So, what'll it be? Meatball bazooka, bow and blood-tipped arrows, a leech gun, a slingshot, or-why is there an oven mitt?"
"There was an extra hook." Chef explains with some embarrassment as he runs over to collect that.
On a wall, I also see a stick, a spiked mannequin leg, Mr. Coconut, and a few other guns, one of which has an attached spear that's piercing through a fish. Scott takes the bazooka. I then opt for the bow-and-arrow. We then follow McLean to an area with twelve floating balloons. Hold on, twelve? That unfortunately means Duncan was brought back as a potential helper along with everyone else who got eliminated this season. Even if he's banned from competing ever again, I suppose it's only fair to bring back all the season 5 contestants who got cut from the contest. At least he won't win the million regardless. Here's hoping I don't end up with him, Heather, Alejandro, or Sierra as helpers. Those would all be bad choices for me.
"Now that you've got your weapons, you'll need them to pop these balloons. Each one contains a previously flushed All-Star." Chris informs us.
"Is there any way for them to breathe in there?" Scott inquires.
"I don't know. Ask our classic competitor Owen; he filled them." the host replies as he gestures towards said balloon filler, who is messy from eating lots of beans right out of their cans, and said cans are lying around him.
I know the answer is yes from when we got stuffed into them during the original timeline when it was Mike/Mal vs. Zoey in the finals, albeit just barely. This was the last time before the season ended where I unsuccessfully tried to make amends with Scott. He refused to even listen before we got placed into balloons. Maybe Gwen would've been more willing to hear me out after finding out I voted myself off to regain her trust, but we never got the chance to see each other that day as she had already been stuffed away before we could meet up. Oh well. Either way, it's a good thing the goth was on much better terms with me when leaving the game in this timeline.
Owen the obese food-eating machine had seen just about everything that had happened on camera at that point. He was apologetic towards everyone he had to place in the balloons except for Duncan (who he felt went too far with the mansion explosion and no longer wanted to be friends with), Heather (for being a general pain-in-the-ass), Alejandro (for all his scheming and shameless manipulation during the third season) and me (for that chart fiasco). I'm sure he's still mad at each of these three this time around. Either way, Owen was quite irked by how unusually affectionate Mr. and Mrs. Burromuerto had suddenly gotten with one another since becoming a couple, as were the rest of us and our host.
"Thanks Chris! These double deep-fried beans really do the trick." The fatso gratefully tells our host and lets out a chuckle before saying "Watch!" and farting enough air into a balloon to fully inflate it.
"How the fuck can you manage to do that?" asks a bewildered Scott.
"Maybe with lots of practice." I speculate. "Am I right, Owen?"
"Yeah, practice and being very gassy." the fatso confirms with a giggle.
As gross as it was to be inside one of those, filling up balloons like that admittedly is also an impressive ability. The balloon unfortunately gets overfilled and pops, sending lots of empty bean cans flying and knocks Owen onto his stomach. He painfully moans "Mommy" afterwards while lying down and then McLean tells us "You have 30 seconds. Any All-Star you shoot down becomes your helper. And GO!" right before blowing an air horn.
I'm not nearly as good as Katniss Everdeen when it comes to shooting arrows, but these were probably my best bet with the ginger picking that bazooka before I could grab it. May the odds be ever in my favor. Aiming high, I take a shot at one of the balloons and miss. That was quite unfortunate. My opponent also misses his first shot, so I guess that kind of evens things out for now. As I set another arrow up, he manages to free Sam, who screams as he plummets and falls on his face. My next arrow slips. Come on! Scott then pops the balloon with Lindsay, who yells a bit as she falls and lands on her ass, rubbing where it hurts.
"Scott picked up Sam and Lindsay!" Chris announces before mocking me with "Courtney, you might wanna start trying."
I growl at him and retort "We both know I AM already trying plus these balloons aren't exactly the easiest things to hit." as I set up another arrow.
It frees Lightning and he falls to the ground. Another one of my shots pops the balloon containing Jo. Not exactly ideal for me. Gwen would've been preferable even with broken arms. Good thing I can't get leeched by her again, though. The air horn can be heard again. Chris tells us "Time's up!" and instructs "Oh intern, go collect the helpers please." to one of his interns.
Said intern then takes a stick with a hook to grab them down, but a gust of wind blows all the remaining balloons far away. OH SHIT! Muffled screams can be heard from the others as the wind carries them off. How did I forget this would happen!? A scary memory then comes back where I was scared for my life as my balloon floated out of reach and I thought I could die wherever it took me! I practically had a heart attack. Thankfully nobody was harmed as another intern rescued us off-camera with some giant net. We all got safe travels home before the island collapsed. I feel especially bad for my goth pal even though I know she'll be saved.
"Ooooooh, yeah; probably should've tied them down." The host remarks in hindsight.
"Gee, you don't say." Sam sarcastically replies.
McLean's phone then rings. He picks that up and comments "Huh, it's the lawyers.", then puts said phone in his pockets and adds "I'm gonna let it go to voicemail."
"You shouldn't just let people die in those balloons!" Lindsay reprimands.
"Relax; an intern or two will save them as I can't truly let people die here or I'd probably get sued and go back to jail, now let's go." Chris responds.
"Sha-finally! Lightning didn't know how much more of that gas he could take." a certain jock proclaims.
"About time somebody got me out from there." my other helper gratefully says.
"Jo and Lightning, you will be helping out Courtney. Lindsay and Sam, you're on Team Scott, but you four are here as helpers only, meaning you can't win." the host tells them as they walk over to join us.
Lightning complains "Seriously? Sha-dang! Getting no money sucks."
"At least we all got saved, so we should be grateful to be free of the godawful smelly balloons." The gamer adds before giving Scott a fist-bump.
"I can't argue with that." Jo concurs with a shoulder shrug.
Thank god for no Alejandro and Heather making out in the confessional or getting disturbingly affectionate. Lindsay suggests "We may as well get this over with."
An intern then shows up with a car containing three seated attachments. I climb into the front one with Scott while Lindsay and Sam get into the middle one and Jo and Lightning gather in the back piece. Chris gets into the car with the intern, who drives us to the challenge. As we approach our destination five about minutes later, McLean says "Scott, Courtney, this season I decided to come up with something REALLY danger-" and abruptly cuts himself off to say "er, I mean special. Yeah, special for the both of you. Say hello to the final challenge of Total Drama All-Stars: The Moats of Doom!"
Thunder can then be heard and actual lightning flashes in the sky as the host chuckles. The rest of us except the driving intern gasp in shock. Sure, I knew it would be dangerous, but seeing the thing in person as opposed to on screen when re-watching the season is scarier when I don't know for certain what'll happen to me!
"Each level has a sliver of safe-ish ground, where you'll find tools to help you survive the insane dangers that await you in each moat. The first moat, at ground level, is filled with toxic waste. You might want to avoid falling in unless you want to go to the prom with Ezekiel." Chris continues as a fly gets submerged in the waste and emerges as a giant mutant before flying off. "Moat number two is boiling hot lava!"
Said giant mutant fly burns its ass on said lava and screams while flying away from it.
"The third moat is just plain old swamp water." McLean informs us as the giant fly lowers its ass into the water.
The fly lets out a sigh of relief (which I only know from re-watching this episode as it's too far away for us to hear in person) before getting eaten by Fang as the host adds "But what lies beneath will definitely kill you!"
Us contestants all gasp again. Scott looks frozen with fear, much like he was when having to box Fang in the original timeline. Partially replicating that, I wave my hand in front of his face and call out "Say something if you can hear me."
"I. Hate. Sharks!" the ginger fearfully replies.
"Scott, Courtney, if you somehow survive all three moats, you must say goodbye to your helpers and go it alone as you storm the castle." Chris instructs as we climb out of the car attachments and he gestures towards the top of the hill. "Take your life in your hands as you fight your way past the Mad King!"
Said "king" is Chef at the top of the tower wearing a crown and cape. He unenthusiastically tells a camera "I am the Mad King." and unintelligibly grumbles something before pouring himself a drink and sipping from it (which is another thing I only know from watching the episode as it's inaudible to everyone around me right now).
"If you get past the Mad King and find the strength to pull the sword of victory from the stone, you are the true Total Drama All Star and a winner of One. Million. Dollars! Subject to all applicable taxes and other offsets required by law." the host informs us. "So, excited?"
"No; we could all easily die or at least get badly hurt!" Sam retorts.
"My lawyers are fully willing to sue you if I get harmed here, McLean." I add, and fully realize how much that sounds like something my old self would say, though it is fitting here when we're dealing with potential death.
"I'm pretty sure you're bluffing." The host replies as he pulls out a glass of milk and drinks it before I shake my head "no" and he turns towards the camera to say "Regardless, will anyone survive the final challenge? If yes, will our winner be a king or queen? Find out right after the break here on Total. Drama. All-Stars!"
I go over with my helpers to one side of the moat and Scott goes with his towards another. Game on now. Chris then instructs "On your mark, get set, go!" and blows an airhorn to start the challenge.
How the fuck can I climb this thing without getting hurt? Lightning finds a couple of poles and tells me "Lightning thinks we could use these to sha-vault across."
Jo retorts "You probably don't know how to calculate the angle needed to make it over unharmed, sha-idiot."
That reminds me; Mal did this to get across the waste! I should've remembered sooner after observing him do so when re-watching this episode multiple times. Meanwhile, I overhear Sam observe "It would much easier if you had a tanuki suit like the ones from the Super Mario Bros. 3 that help you fly across once you get a good running start."
Lindsay adds "Even with such suits around, we'd need three, not just one."
"Fair point." the gamer relents.
"Don't forget that fictional items are useless here." Scott reminds them. "Think of something real."
Getting back to my own predicament, I ask "How much of a running start would I need to get across by pole vaulting?"
"I'd guess from at least 10 meters away." Jo surmises.
"Just don't sha-drop it in the waste." Lightning adds as if that wasn't already obvious.
"No way will that happen." I assure him as I grab one of the poles.
Heading back 15 meters for good measure, I then sprint forward with the pole held in front of me and shout out "To victory!"
Here's hoping my memory of Mal's vaulting serves me well here. I plant the pole in the ground and jump high into the air. I scream while flying across and land…
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On the ladder!
I take a big sigh of relief as I make my way up. However, my helpers do still need to get across, so they'll probably have to do the same thing as me. Scott seems to have picked up on my tactic as he runs towards the moat with a pole of his own. Chris tells the audience through his megaphone "Courtney has crossed the first moat, and Scott is catching up with the same method! While she is in the lead now, will that last?"
"Hopefully not for long." The ginger answers as he makes his way across.
Lightning then picks up the pole I used and proclaims aloud "Time for Lightning to strike!" as he goes back for a running start.
Uh-oh; I haven't cleared it yet! Jo cautions him "Wait until the ladder's open, stupid!", but is too late as he's already on his way.
I scream in fear and anxiously try to climb up to make some space. It turns out Mr. Dumbass miscalculated the angle his jump and ends up smacking into the wall. Quite a painful impact. At least he didn't hit me. The narcissist whines "Sha-ouch; that hurt!" as he collapses onto the little bit of ground that these ladders stand on.
"Consider yourself lucky that you didn't hit me on this ladder, or you'd probably end up in the toxic waste." I remark before continuing to climb as Scott successfully lands on his own ladder.
The ginger and I make our ways to the next moat. So far, so good. Crossing this lava without getting harmed will be tricky, though.
"Welcome to level 2! All tied, no one's died. Yawn. Let's go, people!" Chris tells us.
"What a sick fuck." My boyfriend remarks, and I nod in agreement.
Down below, our host can be heard telling someone on the phone "True, I should've known better. We just forgot to tie the balloons down." before sipping a drink, and then adds "Well, my optometrist tested that, and it turns out my hindsight is actually quite bad."
After some inaudible response from the caller, McLean goes "Oops!" and accidentally-on-purpose tosses his phone into toxic waste.
It just goes to further show how little he cares about contestant safety. I hope that schmuck rots in hell. Anyway, time to focus back on the challenge. Lindsay seems to doubt her ability to vault across given how she isn't going for the running start that Lightning, Scott, and I used. Jo on the other hand is going back with another pole to gain some momentum. Hold on, did Sam just run off!? I then hear him shout "Timber!" and see a large tree trunk falling over, with everyone on ground moving out of the way.
At its base is the gamer with a chainsaw, who then uses that tree as a bridge. The trunk is just long enough to bridge the first moat, so he and Lindsay make their way across that. Props to him for quick thinking, though I cannot fathom how he got that chainsaw without anybody noticing before it was used. If anybody left it just lying around, then that was a risky choice on their part. Chris chastises "First off, you should have adult supervision when using chainsaws, even if you are 17. Secondly, watch where trees land when you cut them down! You're lucky nobody got hurt, but don't you dare do that again on this show without my permission or Chef's. They belong to us and the interns you probably got it from."
"Sorry, but I knew I couldn't just vault across on my own, and no other feasible way for me to cross the moat came to mind." Sam apologizes as he and Lindsay use it to cross.
As for this second moat, I wish some of that tree could be used to go across it. There unfortunately is no feasible way to carry it up ladders without struggle. Speaking of ladders, I just remember now that Zoey laid one down across this lava moat to get across, though it quickly burned afterwards. Mal on the other hand used a pogo stick lying around to somehow get a big enough bounce to over the gap and up the ledge. Since I don't trust my pogo abilities enough to take me that far and the ladder is my only usable option, I tell Lightning "Be sure to take that up with you once Jo also reaches the top." as he climbs up.
"Not a sha-problem." he replies.
Once Lindsay and Sam reach the top of the ladder, they help Scott use it as a bridge and quickly make their way across, somehow picking up on the idea I had in mind before I even said it aloud. Jo has now used the tree trunk and bolts up the other ladder. Seeing our opponents in the lead and climbing up to the third moat, she scowls "No way am I letting a redneck pit-sniffer aided by some live action Barbie Doll and a teenage Seth Rogen with a gaming addiction stay ahead of me for long!" as the ginger's ladder burns from its proximity to the lava.
Belittling my boyfriend and his intellect like that pisses me off so much that I growl and slap her on the cheek before reprimanding "Don't you fucking DARE insult Scott like that again or I'll kick your ass! He's got far more brains than you've implied. Just help set a path for us to cross now so we can move forward."
My slap was so hard that an imprint of my hand can be seen on her face. Jo's eyes are wide open in shock. She probably didn't think I could hit like that and is speechless right now while rubbing the sore spot. Lightning stares for a moment with his jaw dropped and simply comments "Wow that really smarts."
"Damn straight it does." I tell him as we collect the ladder and set it across the moat.
Not wanting to risk staying on it for too long, each of us crosses in quick succession without stopping or any hesitation. It burns not long after we reach the end. That worked out better than expected.
"Scott makes it to level 3! Can he keep his lead for long? Perhaps somebody with many teeth will answer that." Chris ponders through his megaphone, and then chuckles at the end.
Once I reach the top of the moat, I see the ginger frozen in place after he screams in fear. Lindsay waves a hand in front of his face and asks "Scott, are you OK?" much like I did earlier.
Sam explains "Remember that he has a phobia of sharks, especially Fang after getting mauled by him last season and having to be put on life support to survive."
The large-chested blonde replies "Oh right. I can't blame anyone for being afraid, but now is a bad time to freeze up like that."
Our mutant shark smiles evilly at them. I feel bad for not being able to help the one I love at a time like this. At the same time, this gives me a chance to reach the lead again, so I make a swim for it. My helpers follow suit and we try not to make too much noise. Just as I'm about to reach the ledge, I notice Fang swimming towards me! I scream loudly as I scramble out of the water. Lightning bravely punches him in the jaw and proclaims "Sha-bam!", knocking the mutant shark away.
"Looks like I underestimated you." a shocked Jo says afterwards.
"Sha-obviously you did." the narcissist boasts, which makes her scowl at him as they climb onto the ledge.
On the other side, Lindsay apparently got the idea to toss Scott across the water with Sam helping her, instructing "Throw him now like I told you!" and they fling him over.
It continues to amaze me how much better she's done in the game than when I first lived through the All-Stars season. The blonde went from last place out of 14 to the final 3, easily the biggest improvement in rankings, and is showing much more of her smart side now. All of it shows what a big difference one change of her actions can make, which was not pushing the carriage on day one. I do give her kudos for getting as far as she did. Scott then takes a big sigh of relief and turns back to say "Seriously, thank you both for that and all your help today. I needed that toss more than you know."
"Sure thing, now best of luck on the last level!" replies the gamer.
Focusing back on my own helpers, I tell Jo and Lightning "Well, this is where we have to part ways, so thanks for the help." as Scott and I make our ways up the final ladders and the lady jock responds with "Of course."
We reach the final area at roughly the same time. Who will get the sword first, though?
To be continued (evil laughter). Sorry for the tease, but once I came up with the idea of a cliffhanger during the finals like this, I just had to use it somewhere! You of course will find out next chapter who wins the Scottney finale. I already have made up my mind on the answer. Chapter 19 will NOT be the last chapter as I plan on showing what happens after this revised season ends. Just letting you know in advance. Stay tuned for more!
Elimination Order:
Sierra (14th place), Lightning (13th place), Jo (12th place), Duncan (11th place), Heather (10th place), Alejandro (9th place), Cameron (8th place), Gwen (7th place), Sam (6th place), Zoey (5th place), Mike (4th place), Lindsay (3rd place)
Finalists:
Courtney and Scott
Chapter posted: March 31, 2019.