Terrified

AU. After Sammy and Dylan are caught in a car crash, Kelly rushes to their side. Set up in 2018

Rest in peace the beautiful soul that was Luke Perry.

I own nothing

Kelly couldn't remember the last time she had laid down with Dylan like this and being afraid of opening her eyes and him being gone, actually, when they had first gotten back together, she would have this recurring nightmare, not that she had ever admitted it to him.

"Something wrong Kel?" Dylan whispered against her hair tenderly as his hand played with her short blond strands.

"No, nothing…" Kelly sighed looking at him, her hand to his chin. "Just, that I can't wait until you get out of here and we get to go home."

"You read my mind." He smiled weakly. Kelly kissed him softly as she stood up amidst his protests and offered him yet another sip of water. It was the first night she'd be spending at the hospital with him awake, still not knowing when they would find a liver. She had sent the kids home with Donna, wanting to selfishly spend some time alone with Dylan, to tell him about the baby.

She could vividly remember every time she'd told him she had been pregnant, Sam had being a shock, Hannah a surprise and Evan an unexpected last hurrah, or so they thought.

"Hey, I need to talk to you about something." At first she'd resisted telling him right away, instead she wanted to talk to him about Sam and their argument the day of the accident, she knew her son was weary around him for a reason and he had avoided talking to his father right away as to not make his brother and sister or her upset, but Kelly knew they would eventually have to talk.

Dylan stared right at her, and Kelly was thankful for that, she honestly thought she'd never get to see those beautiful eyes again.

"So, Hawaii?" Dylan asked playfully as she bit her lip, remembering just how much fun it had been to have his old babysitter take the kids for two nights or so during the trip. "Okay and are you happy about it?"

"I am." She smiled. "A little nervous because it's considered to be high risk but yeah, I'm happy."

Dylan smiled back. "Come here." She sat there beside him again and he kissed her. "I'm happy too Kel, really, really happy."

"Good, because we do make pretty cute babies."

"We do." Dylan agreed sweetly. "Do the kids know?"

"No, not yet, but our friends do, uh, when I had to take the test for the transplant…"

"Right…"

"There's something else…" She said. "I am a match but the doctor said it would be dangerous for the baby." Dylan took a minute to process the new information he'd been given. "I guess I'm just foolishly hoping someone else in this world is a match and I don't have to make that decision but if it comes to it…"

"You'd want to do it?"

"How can you ask me that? Of course I would…" She said defensively. Dylan touched her cheek softly and she melted against him.

"No one else was a match?"

"No, not even Maddie."

"Maddie was here?" Dylan asked.

"Yeah, she said she was an adult and wanted to help you no matter what." Kelly smiled. "Sam wanted to take the test too but he's too young."

"So, you were the only match?" Dylan repeated.

"Wickedly, yes." Dylan smiled. "What?"

"So I guess we really are soulmates huh?" Dylan said softly as she leaned her head against his chest, listening to his beating heart and just being glad he was beside her.

"Are you sure you don't need anything Kel?" Donna asked for the hundredth time that morning. Kelly needed something Donna couldn't give her, of course there wasn't anything she really needed. "Right, stupid question, sorry."

Kelly smiled weakly, not really wanting to be upset with her, all her friends were just trying to help her, but this was proving to be harder than she thought, to be honest, she never pictured herself being here.

With having to raise four kids on her own. When she had first found out about Sam, her mind and heart were divided on what do do, Dylan wouldn't just stay because of the baby, she loved him and knew what of a good man he was, but he was Dylan and commitment was not something he had ever been ready for.

Yet, she told him and they had tried to navigate their relationship, the upcoming birth of their child.

But now it was 3 and a half kids later and Kelly found herself alone yet again. Only now it had not been her fault or Dylan's.

She looked down at her hands from her spot on the couch at Donna and David's living room. She was 5 months pregnant and dealing with Dylan's funeral the best she could.

Dylan was gone and her worst nightmare had come true.

"Kel?" A familiar voice spoke as she looked up, almost instantly. Brandon Walsh stood there in front of her, the years had not changed him much, he still had those pair of calming blue eyes and comforting voice. "I know that whatever I say won't be enough to make what you are feeling better, but… if you need me, I'm here, alright?" He spoke taking her hand and sitting beside her. "Whatever you need Kelly, I mean it, Niki and I are more than willing to help."

Kelly stared at her ex-boyfriend. Now a famous journalist, married and with four kids of his own, to Nicky Wittt of all people, his sophomore once girlfriend. "I'm just really sorry Kelly, I try to make sense of it all and it just doesn't feel real that he's gone."

Kelly could see he was emotional talking about Dylan, they had been the best of friends even with everything that had gone down when they were kids.

"He loved you so much, I hope you know that." Kelly said to him with a grim smile.

"I did too. Still do." Brandon admitted sweetly, holding her hand tightly. "How are the kids?"

Right, her kids, Sammy true to his Taylor nature was helping his mother around with all he could while trying to hide how hurt he really felt. Hannah had asked people to call her Grace, because Hannah was her middle name and a favorite of Dylan's. Also, Han was out of the question.

And Evan, her sweet boy, she wished she could explain to him what had just happened to his Daddy, and yet, Kelly couldn't make sense of it herself anymore and he was just very confused, strangely though, he had been the one to make more sense of it thanks to Donna who had explained his Daddy was now an angel and who would always care for them from afar and that he could talk to him whenever he wanted.

Still, Kelly's heart ached for the little baby who would never get to know Dylan and the kind of man he was.

"Kelly, are you sure you don't want to go upstairs and maybe rest for a minute?" Janet offered coming into the living room.

"You should, I'll help you if you want." Brandon offered. "It would do you good Kelly."

"No, thanks. I need to go check on my kids…"

"We've got them honey, I promise." Janet said coming closer to Kelly so she wouldn't get up. "You should think of yourself now."

"No, not really, all I can think about is them, do you know how hard it is to grow up without a father? I do, and it can mess you up really bad…"

"Kelly, we're all going to be here to help…"

"And I appreciate it but it's not the same… You are not Dylan…" Brandon tried to shake the pain painted on his face quickly but Kelly had noticed it. "I'm sorry, I just…"

"Don't be sorry Kelly." Brandon said sweetly, the noise of steps made all of them turn around and come face to face with Brenda Walsh.

Kelly tried to contain her tears as she thought she could no longer cry but seeing her best friend standing there was too much for her to handle and they cried together, for that part of their lives, for the memories, happy and sad ones that had seemed to have died with Dylan.

Steve Sanders had run off upstairs in seek of silence, the idea of tending to guests, something he had been taught to do with his mother's constant parties seemed to have come in handy and yet he only seemed to be able to function in auto pilot, that was until he spotted the young boy sitting on the bed in the master bedroom, his face was down and he was shaking.

"Sam?" Steve hadn't meant to startle him, but Sammy just looked up at him slowly, with Dylan's matching eyes shining from the tears he had shed. The teen didn't speak, he didn't need to, so Steve did what he thought best and sat beside him on the bed as he held him.

"What are we supposed to do now Uncle Steve?" Sam asked in a shaky voice once they had pulled apart. "How am I meant to take my Dad's place?"

"That's not what you have to do Sam. It's not how it works, your Mom is one of the strongest people I know and you kids are just like her, you'll get through this together."

"How?"

"By taking one day at a time I guess?" Steve said.

Sam didn't respond right away. "When he left, uh, the first time we came back to LA, I didn't really understand why my Dad wasn't like all the other ones at my school, I thought it was because of me that he didn't want to live with us, because maybe there was just something really wrong with me."

"Sam…"

"I've never told my Mom that, but then she said we'd be okay you know and I wanted to believe her, I did for a long time and then every time we saw Dad I wished we could stay with him for good and when we didn't, I became angry, at my Mom, at him."

"Did you ever talked to him about this?"

"No, I didn't want to accuse him of anything but I did ask my Mom years later and she told me about Jack."

"And what did you think?"

"It wasn't Dad's fault that he wanted to run, it was just what he knew because everyone in his life sort of eventually disappeared."

"But he didn't…" Steve concluded.

"No, he didn't. He became so far from the guy he was most afraid to take after. He was a really good Dad."

"Yeah, he was and that's how you need to remember him like Sammy, like the good man he was." Sammy nodded.

"I'm really worried about Mom. I want to help her but I just don't know how to."

Steve stared at him again. He didn't know either.

Kelly opened her eyes to the sound of Dylan's voice calling for her. "Hey, Kelly, come on, it was just a nightmare…"

"What?"

"You were screaming, are you okay?"

"I'm fine... I just... " Kelly bit her lip as she hesitated to tell him what the dream had been about. "Dylan, I thought I was going to loose you."

"Come on Kel, that's not how it works right, only the good ones die young…"

"It's not funny…" She snarled at him.

"Right, sorry. Do you want to tell me what the dream was about?"

"Your funeral." She said quickly reincorporating herself on the chair she had been resting on. "And Brenda and Brandon showing up."

"Right, I guess, we'll never escape our pasts completely, will we?"

"Apparently not. Even our subconscious seems to remind me what kind of a person I was when I was younger."

"Kelly, you weren't the only one who made mistakes alright, we did a lot of stupid things back then, I mean not just you and me but them too."

Kelly bit her lip, she didn't want to have to remember just what had gone down all those years ago, when it had all been a competition, one no one was going to win at and just hurt each other.

"Dylan, I need to tell you something…"

"More surprises? Okay…"

"Steve, he, he called Brenda and Brandon down here." Dylan's face hardened. "I'm not even sure if they are going to show or not but… I just didn't want you to be caught off guard if they did."

"Well, we've seen them over the years Kel, we've all been grown ups about it."

"I know, but that doesn't mean it will be easy if one of them turns out to be a match, does it?"

"Wait, they're… they are thinking about being donors?" Dylan asked.

"That's what Steve called them for, but even if they show up, no one but me is guaranteed to be a match."

"Kel…"

"Maybe I should be the one to do it, you know? It's part of our vows, in sickness and in health, you'd do it for me in a heartbeat, right?"

"Of course I would Kel, but the baby…"

"We don't know for sure if I'd lose it…"

"Have you had a scan yet?"

"Yes, I had one before you woke up, it doesn't mean I don't want to do it. I love you, the kids love you, I can't choose between that."

"Let's wait then, so you don't have to."

"Dylan…"

"You really wanted this to happen Kel and it did, maybe it means something…"

Kelly smiled but Dylan caught the irony before she had a chance to say anything. "God, I sound like Iris, don't I?" They both laughed.

"Well, you were always spiritual in someway. I guess it's the writer in you." Kelly said just as Donna and David came into the room.

"It's good to see Kelly smiling for a change, and you two together, like everything is right in the world again." David said. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay Kelly? You should really get some rest, real one."

"I'll be fine on the couch one more night David…" Kelly said to him in all seriousness as she turned to Dylan.

"Fine, but I'm staying tomorrow, you really should go home and take care of yourself Kel." David said.

"I'll take you on that offer brother, for sure. If she doesn't want to go, I'll drag her out myself."

"And I'll help." Donna said with a smile as she walked over to say her goodbyes to them both. "So glad you are back with us Dylan, we've missed you."

"Don't ever do that to us again bro, It's not funny anymore, huh?" David smirked at him. Dylan hugged his friends the best he could, just as they left, he turned to Kelly.

"What do you say we call the kids?"

"You read my mind."

Sam smiled as he put his phone back inside his pocket after having had a call from his parents. It was funny the kind of turn the last 24 hours had taken. His Dad was awake although he still needed a transplant, but the doctor had said he was out of danger as of now.

"Okay, now you follow the line Evan, and then we'll get Sam to sign it." He heard Hannah say to her brother in the other room as the two of them had decided to watch some TV. Their aunt Silver was working on her laptop from the couch as he came in.

"Oh, Sam, come on you have to sign this for Dad, we all are." Hannah said to him. Sam knelt down to his siblings's level on the small table with a look from his aunt Silver. "Okay, what should I write?"

"Whatever you want. You are the one who likes writing like Daddy…" His sister pointed out to him and he sighed as he stared at the card in front of him. Hannah had taken upon herself to add his brother's message and her own on the card.

"What's wrong Sammy?" Evan asked, Sam smiled at his little brother.

"He's worried about the transplant, right aunt Silver?" Hannah said, Sam turned to look at his aunt.

"Is it going to hurt?" Evan asked worriedly. Hannah turned to her brother again. Silver put her laptop to the side then.

"No, it won't buddy, your Daddy will be sleeping the whole time." Erin said.

"And then we go home?" The little boy asked again.

"And then, after a little while, you all go home, that's the idea bud..,"

"But don't worry Evan, the doctors taking care of Dad? They are the best at what they do and they'll make sure he gets better." Sam added. Silver smiled at him.

Sam sighed, telling himself the same thing and wishing he could believe it as strongly as Evan and Hannah did.

Dylan was meant to begin walking today as he was feeling stronger and they didn't want him to begin to develop lesions. She had insisted to help him as she and Sandy kept an eye on him as he got out of bed and began to move slowly, almost unsure, very unlike Dylan Mckay. "If you feel sore or any pain Mr. Mckay, you tell us, alright?"

"Dylan is fine." He insisted. Sandy smiled at Kelly as she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. It was a text.

From Brandon Walsh no less.

He had just landed in LA.

Soooo, I got you there with the funeral didn't I? But we did learn a bit more about Sammy's feelings and Brandon just arrived in LA, let's see what happens next shall we? Will Brenda show up? Who will be a match? I hope I can update sunday :)

Thanks for all the support guys, I'm having a really good time writing this and you all make it all worth it keep leaving reviews if you can.