It's been forever since I updated this collection, and I apologize. I was traveling to visit family. In my travels, I came upon a certain coffee shop chain and it's highly recognizable logo, as well as a very well informed history buff in line in front of me who filled me in on the origins of said logo. Naturally, my brain went here with Killian's reaction.

Timeframe isn't essential to this one, but for clarity's sake let's say it's at the start of 3b? When Emma is driving Henry and Killian back to Storybrooke from New York?

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"Swan, that's obscene." The sheer disgust in Hook's voice made Emma stop short on the sidewalk. She turned back to him to see his eyes narrowed and locked upward several steps behind her.

"What is?"

"That!" Hook gestured to the green and white sign hanging over the doorway to the coffee shop that was Emma's current destination. After the day she'd had so far, regaining her memories, finding out her now-ex boyfriend Walsh was a monkey minion, and packing up her still-oblivious son to drive back to Storybrooke with Captain Hook, she needed the caffeinated and sugary boost of an over-priced coffee contraption.

"The Starbucks sign? Seriously? I know you're not the biggest fan of mermaids but still," Emma said, a little confused at the pirate's over reaction to a coffee sign. He'd insisted on coming along with her for this pit stop, and she'd decided it wasn't worth the fight to argue with him. Now though, Emma wasn't sure if she shouldn't have left him in the car with Henry and the comic books instead.

Killian shook his head in blatant disagreement and followed her forward. "That's not a mermaid, lass, that's a sailors depraved wet dream on full public display."

"Don't you think you're being a little over dramatic?" She asked, queuing up just outside the door. Emma twisted her mouth in annoyance, wondering just how long the line inside was and if her need for caffeine was really worth the wait.

"Absolutely not. And you said these were in every city across this realm?" He asked in disbelief.

Emma shrugged, pushing the door open to finally stand just inside as the line moved forward minimally. "More or less. And there's usually more than a few of them every couple of blocks. Starbucks is kind of hard to avoid in some places. Now why is it bothering you so much?" Killian's face went a shade of red Emma never thought she would see on the man. "Hook?"

"The tails…" He said nervously, glancing between Emma and another copy of the logo hanging on the wall.

"What about them?"

"There are two of them." He was being evasive on purpose. What was so bad that he couldn't just come right out and say? If Emma didn't know any better, she would almost say the man looked embarrassed.

"Yeah, there are," She stated, obviously. "I think the logo would've looked a little lopsided if they only had a regular one-tailed mermaid on there."

"It would certainly be more accurate," Killian mumbled.

Emma fought the urge to roll her eyes, both at the pirate and the sight of a single open cash register at the front of the line, manned by a lone cashier and a trainee. Apparently their coffee stop wasn't going to be as fast as Emma wanted. "It's a logo, Hook, it's not supposed to be accurate, just memorable so it can sell stuff."

Hook followed closely behind her as the line moved forwards a few inches. "Well it's a comfort to know some things are common between the realms and that sex sells as easily here as it does in the Enchanted Forest."

That made Emma pause again and she turned to look at him. "Wait, back up, sex?"

The pirate looked caught, and his mouth thinned in resignation. "Two tails, Swan. The mermaid on that logo has two tails that are rather akin to legs, and what lies between a woman's legs that a sailor would have no hope of having whilst at sea?" He informed her, suddenly much chattier than before.

It took only a moment for his words and the mental image to sink in and she shivered a little in disgust. "Seriously? That can't be real. We saw mermaids in Neverland! They tried to kill us and none of them had two tails!"

"And they never will. Mermaids don't split their tails. I told you it was a wet dream and a fantasy of ship-locked sailors."

Emma shook her head slowly. "I'm definitely not gonna look at that mermaid sign the same way. Maybe I should start going to Dunkin Donuts instead…"

"Dunking what?"

Emma looked at the line ahead of them, eyeing the endless flow of people with annoyance when she realized the line had hardly moved at all despite their progress. "You know what? Yeah, we're going to Dunkin Donuts instead. I just need coffee. I can go without the fancy creamers and syrups, and Henry's just gonna have to live with a good old fashioned bear claw instead. I doubt he'll be too upset about that." She turned around and left through the door they had only just entered, grabbing Killian by his coat and dragging him with her.

Walking back into the brisk air Emma caught sight once again of the two-tailed mermaid logo and shivered, when a thought came to her. She glanced at Hook, who was looking at her with his normal hope and caution, the usual sparkle of his too-blue eyes holding her captive for a moment. Had Hook had that sort of wet dream about her?

"Swan?"

Emma shook those thoughts away and kept walking, very aware of the blush now dusting her cheeks but only half aware of her hand still holding his jacket as she tugged him along the sidewalk.

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P.S. The next chapter of Tattoo is coming. It's just being decidedly uncooperative.