A thought that occurred to me a while ago about Hook's past liaisons…

Mildly hurt/comfort but with an ending that moves toward cheerier.

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The first time they slept together Emma had Killian wear a condom, and she was surprised that his first thoughts on the modern convenience weren't about pregnancy.

"I assure you, Swan, I'm quite clean," Killian joked, flat on his back and staring up at Emma's nude form from the slim bed in the Jolly Roger's cabin.

Emma slithered her way down his body until she was eye-level with his hardened cock. "It's just until I finally get you to go to that doctor's appointment for a physical," She told him. "And besides, it's not just for stopping diseases. I love Henry, but I'm not planning on giving him a sibling just yet."

Killian's face shifted oddly at her words, but before she could comment on it he inched his hips upward, pulling her attention south. She grinned and rolled the condom onto his length with her mouth, a trick that earned her murmurs of praise from the pirate beneath her. Soon enough she was bouncing on his lap, his thick length hot and heavy inside her, sending them both over the edge again and again, and it forced her concerns about his earlier odd look far from her mind.

Their couplings after that were unfortunately few and far between, to Emma's great frustration, with the constant stream of villains and crises around town keeping them from doing much more than get hands-y with one another. It led to one too many close calls, and while Emma was all for the thrill of being nearly caught, she had no desire to actually be caught with Killian's head between her thighs in the sheriff's station, particularly by her parents.

It was bad enough Mary Margaret and David had nearly caught her and the pirate in the back alley behind Granny's, even if that was just a heavy make-out session and relatively tame compared to some of the things they had gotten up to already. She didn't want to scar them or herself with any further, less clothed, encounters.

It wasn't until Killian was brought back from the underworld that he finally found the time to get a physical, and was given the medical all clear by Dr. Whale. Emma was clean and still on birth control, so she decided that given the current lack of a crisis in Storybrooke, now was as good a time as any to start having sex sans condom with Killian. It was a big enough step in their relationship that she felt a private celebration was in order, so she swiped a bottle of rum from the Rabbit Hole and had Killian meet her in his cabin on the Jolly Roger; somewhere she knew they would be able to spend some quality time alone.

When he stepped off the ladder his surprise at her appearance quickly gave way to a sinful heat in his gaze that melted her, as it always did when she met him wearing something sheer and lacy and modern. Emma explained the situation to him quickly enough, how their mutually clean bills of health and her birth control meant they wouldn't need to use condoms anymore, and was surprised to find that odd expression back on his face. The one that was hiding something but eager to move past it because it was something he didn't think she would want to hear.

"Killian? What is it?" Emma asked.

In lieu of responding, Killian shook his head free of the odd expression and pulled her to him with his hook. He easily distracted her the rest of the night with the heat of his kisses and scorching trail of his hand on her skin. He left her thigh-high stockings and garters on, and pulled her new bustier down enough to expose her peaked nipples to his hungry gaze and hungrier mouth. He was everywhere at once; bringing her to orgasm several times with his hands and mouth so that by the time they tumbled onto the bed beneath them Emma was little more than an incoherent pile of want needing him to fill her, a task he readily complied with at her insistence.

In the miraculously peaceful days that followed Killian was as attentive a lover as Emma could ever want, giving her exactly what she asked for and still managing to surprise her with things she hadn't known she wanted. But his odd expression remained at the forefront of her mind and her concerns over its continued appearance grew. It wasn't until she and Killian were babysitting her brother at the loft one evening that she told him of her concerns about his odd expression.

"It's nothing, Swan," He insisted, redoubling his focus on keeping Neal entertained with a floating toy horse galloping across an invisible rainbow over the infant's head.

Seeing him so intent on her baby brother always left a warm and fuzzy feeling inside Emma. It wasn't a feeling that had anything to do with possibly, maybe, someday raising a kid with Killian, but it was a feeling that had everything to do with knowing just how far Killian had come since they'd met. He would always be a pirate, but he wasn't the villainous Captain Hook anymore. He was Killian Jones, and Killian Jones was a good man who deserved a happy ending. Knowing that Killian had moved past his centuries long quest for vengeance and seeing him embrace the future with her and her family always brought a smile to her face.

"I think you'd make a good dad," Emma told him, walking back into the living room from the kitchen with a bottle of formula.

"You already make a good mother," He countered with a smile, watching her pick up her brother and settle on the couch to feed Neal. His smile faded sadly as he added, "I don't think fatherhood is in the cards for me, love."

Emma's gaze was still glued to her brother, encouraging him to keep the bottle in his mouth, as she asked, "Why not? Henry likes you and Neal's always happy to see you."

Killian's eyes found their way toward Neal's cherubic features, and an unbidden longing came over him. His next words came out as a whisper. "Do you hope for another child, Swan? Someday?"

"I wasn't planning on it. But it's not something I'm ruling out," Emma answered honestly, turning to him in question. "Do you want kids someday?"

Killian shifted awkwardly at her words. "I should have told you this earlier, and I apologize for my cowardice on the subject. But you'll need to look elsewhere for a father to any future children."

Emma's eyes narrowed at him. "What are you talking about?"

"I can't have children, Swan."

Emma could only stare at him, her lips barely open. Her thoughts flew away and left her mind empty and dazed except to vaguely realize that his odd expressions at her talk of birth control and condoms had been because of this.

"Killian…" I'm sorry, she wanted to say. I'm so, so, sorry. "I'm-I mean, how do you know?"

He was quiet for several moments, and Emma could see his thoughts struggling to find order. From where he sat on the living room floor, leaning heavily against the foot of the couch, his fingers picked at the carpet underneath him as he spoke. "Much of my 300 years was spent in Neverland, but a great deal of it was also spent traveling between ports, taverns, and various… beds… Not once in all those years was there ever a lass that came to me claiming to be with child. I took precautions in my affairs, yes, but 300 years is a bloody long time and I'm rather doubtful in my ability to have avoided such a development for so long."

Emma struggled to find her thoughts, some words, anything that she could say to him. Instead of the comforting words she wanted to share with him, she asked a question instead. "But those were one time things, what about someone you knew for longer-"

"Milah was never with child while we were together," He interrupted, voice only just pained. "And there were plenty of times when her moon tea ran out and we still…" Emma didn't have to know exactly what moon tea was to have an idea of what it was used for. Killian's context was implication enough.

Silence enveloped them once again and Emma sat frozen on the sofa as she looked at Killian still sitting on the carpet, at the sullen air that grew around him. She wanted to wrap him up in her arms and her love and just hold him close. She wanted to soothe him with her words, tell him that this didn't change things between them and she still loved him and was glad he told her.

There was so much she wanted to say to him, so much she wanted to do. But all of it involved confronting feelings and being emotionally open and that was something Emma Swan failed at spectacularly. She'd never been good with feelings and she'd never been good with consoling people in times of distress. Killian was always the more comforting of the two of them. Emma was terrible at sitting down and just letting someone cry on her shoulder, not that Killian's eyes looked ready to unleash a proverbial Niagara Falls. He looked guilty and forlorn, more than anything. Guilty for not being able to provide something Emma might or might not have wanted, because if there was one thing Killian Jones had made clear to her, it was that Emma's happiness was his priority. If he thought a child would make her happy, then it was the one thing he couldn't provide, which in his mind meant he had already failed her.

Except that he hadn't failed her. They hadn't even tried. Pregnancy just wasn't on Emma's radar and she didn't think it would be for some time, but if Killian was already beating himself up this badly about it…

A thought came to Emma as she considered Killian, his hook absently joining his fingers in tracing the carpet and resolutely avoiding her inquisitive gaze. "Do you want children?" Emma finally asked, breaking the silence.

Killian's head shot up in surprise at her question, staring at her in confusion. "Emma, I can't-"

"Do you want children someday? A family?"

"Yes," He admitted. "Probably because a family is the one thing I didn't think I could ever have after losing Liam. But you should know Swan that I consider being accepted into your life as family enough. Gods know you've enough family to go around," He tried to joke. The smile didn't reach his eyes and fell away quickly, along with his gaze dropping back to the carpet.

"I think it's time I introduced you to another modern marvel," Emma decided. "We're gonna see the doctor."

Killian's confusion bled through his souring mood. "I thought I'd already seen the bloody doctor? That Whale fellow?"

"This is a special kind of doctor. There are other doctors in this town besides Frankenstein. Now what do you know about fertility tests?"

Several sexually and alcoholically dry weeks later Emma brought Killian to a fertility clinic inside the hospital. It was run by several doctors and nurses that were all midwives and nursemaids back in the Enchanted Forest, several of whom claimed to have been present for Snow's pregnancy with Emma before the dark curse.

"Lots of us thought you were going to be a boy, since you're mother's bump was so high," Dr. Laiche explained in her office during their appointment, to Emma's embarrassment and Killian's amusement. "We had a pool going on, you see, concerning your name. I had three gold pieces on you being a boy named Leopold, after the late king, but here we are now, you a lovely woman named Emma and me three gold coins poorer."

"So about those fertility tests?" Emma interrupted. Killian's snickering had quieted but his lips were pressed thin in continued laughter. Emma didn't entirely mind his amusement at her expense, she was mostly glad he didn't appear too outwardly nervous.

Dr. Laiche's eyes widened in remembrance and her hands moved in a flurry, opening and shutting desk drawers and rising to repeat the procedure with several cabinets around the office. "Oh! Yes, yes, yes! The tests for the Captain! One minute please." The doctor swept out of the office leaving Emma and Killian sitting in their seats stupefied and blinking at the woman's haste.

Killian turned to Emma in question, the mirth in his eyes suddenly swallowed by discomfort. She sighed. She should have realized he'd be putting up a mask for the doctor.

"Swan, these tests you spoke of to examine my virility, they require a sample of my…" He glanced pointedly toward his crotch and Emma nodded.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Killian. If this makes you uncomfortable then we can go," She told him, taking hold of his hand.

He was quiet for several moments, and Emma wondered if he might decide not to go through with the fertility test after all. It wasn't an invasive test, as far as she had been able to research. It was just an initial semen analysis, just a quick look under a microscope at a semen sample, but it might still be a little too much modernity for him to take in.

"Let's stay," Killian finally said, surprising her. "Examinations such as these aren't exactly practiced in the Enchanted Forest and who knows when we'll next find ourselves with such uninterrupted time for luxuries like this? Besides, if we leave now that's two whole weeks I went without ravishing you properly that'll have been for naught."

Emma smiled at him, and opened her mouth to say something when the doctor burst back into the office, wielding a plastic bag with a sterile sample cup and a small pile of paperwork. Dr. Laiche declared she needed several signatures and a semen sample, in that order, but not in the same room please. The paperwork was filled out and a befuddled and anxious looking Killian was sent with the sample cup and a wink to the bathroom down the hall.

After leaving Dr. Laiche's office that morning Killian cornered Emma against the side of her car. Emma recognized the hard crush of his body and insistent press of his lips as both a promise of more and a much-needed distraction for Killian from the emotional drain the day had likely been for him.

"Been thinking about every way I'm going to have you once we get home, love," He told her, lips worrying a mark into her collarbone as his hand squeezed her rear. Her hips surged forward into his at the contact. "Bending you forwards and backwards and ravaging you until your thoughts are overwhelmed with me."

"That a promise, captain?" She challenged. Emma was met with a smoldering stare that spoke of retribution and she allowed herself a shiver in anticipation before hurrying them both into her car and speeding away.

They didn't leave Emma's picket fenced house by the water until mid morning the next day when both of their stomachs demanded food and Killian's phone demanded answering.

"This is Jean at Dr. Laiche's office. You're test results are ready, if you'd like to come by today to discuss them?" The receptionist chirped cheerfully.

"I thought this was meant to take several days? Are you quite certain your lot actually ran all of the tests they were meant to?" Killian questioned, a look of uncertainty and dread coming over him. Emma reached over and wrapped her arm around his waist, tucking her head on his shoulder. She felt the tension leave him at the contact and he returned the half hug with his hook arm around her.

Emma could hear the receptionist chuckle on the other end of the line. "Quite certain, sir. When would you like to come in?"

Several hours later, after making an appearance at Granny's for brunch, Emma and Killian were shuttled back into Dr. Laiche's office, where the doctor in question was already flipping through a folder of the test results, fingers flying between pages as she muttered to herself. Killian and Emma had only just taken their seats when Dr. Laiche gave a triumphant 'Aha!' and pulled a single sheet from the pile. "Ah, yes, yes, yes! Here we go! Now, do remember that these are only preliminary results and aren't entirely conclusive, so ideally more tests would be needed if-"

"But they'll tell us enough, aye? We'll know for certain whether or not I'm…" Killian interrupted, trailing off toward the end. Emma's hand was already wrapped around his and she squeezed his fingers in comfort.

"In this case, probably." Dr. Laiche shrugged. "The initial results show normal semen volume levels, normal liquefaction time, and no signs of infection."

"That's good then," Emma started to say. But the doctor wasn't done.

"However, the sperm count is very low, about a million spermatozoa per milliliter."

"What's it supposed to be?" Killian questioned.

"Twenty million per milliliter," The doctor explained easily, as though she were commenting on the weather and not the potential fertility of a patient. Emma glanced at Killian and watched, disheartened, as the shadows in his eyes darkened, a weary haze coming over his features. She could practically see the thoughts marching through his mind, thoughts of further guilt, of disappointment. And they only worsened as the doctor continued. "And of the sperm that are present a number of them are abnormally shaped, with two tails or shortened tails."

Killian sighed in defeat. "I know what you're saying lass. There aren't enough fit soldiers marching on the hill to take the castle, so to speak?"

Dr. Laiche blinked oddly at Killian's downcast demeanor, and Emma began to wonder if the doctor knew something they didn't. "Well, in a manner of speaking, but I would need to see another sample to be sure."

"Another sample," Killian muttered, glancing down at his pants. After a brief awkward silence, his face twisted uncomfortably as he asked, "Am I meant to use that bathroom again?"

Dr. Laiche sprang back in her seat, shaking her head vehemently. "Oh! No, no, no. You need to wait three months before we take another sample!"

"Pardon?"

"That's about how long it takes a new generation of sperm to develop. For all we know this particular sample was an anomaly, but we need a second sample to be sure," The doctor explained.

Emma felt more than she saw Killian's growing frustration with the doctor, and kept a hold of his hand in reassurance. "Bloody hell, just tell me I can't sire children and be done with it. Don't leave a man in limbo."

Dr. Laiche blinked once again at him. "But you're not infertile, Captain."

"I'm not?" He asked.

"He's not?" Emma asked at the same time.

"He's not," The doctor said. She added with a shrug, "The chances of you fathering a child in the traditional manner are very slim, but not impossible, based on the results from this sample. And there are plenty of other non-traditional ways to conceive as well."

It was Killian's turn to blink dumbly, and Emma watched as a strange lightness broke through the dark haze in Killian's eyes. "I… You're certain?"

"Of your ability to father children? Yes. But of the biological cause for it, I couldn't really say. It could be genetic, or it could be a side effect of something you picked up years ago, or it could be lifestyle choices such as frequency of drinking and elevated stress levels. Heck, it could even be magic-based. We would need to run more in-depth tests to find out."

"Wait, seriously? Magic and fertility?" Emma questioned.

Dr. Laiche turned to her, an excited gleam in her features. "Oh, yes, yes, yes, it's a fascinating bit of research we've started! We've been working with several other specialists in the hospital to study how magic affects health. The captain is a rare example of someone who has traveled to multiple realms and been exposed to all kinds of magic, especially magic that affects the aging process. It might also have affected his ability to have children. I wouldn't be surprised if those Lost Boys that came here from Neverland are affected in some way too. But only time and some well-recorded data will tell."

Killian shook himself from his lightened daze enough to ask, "You mentioned something before, about conceiving traditionally and otherwise? Unless there's magic involved what 'otherwise' is there?"

"Well there's no need to jump right into the non-traditional methods if you've only just started trying for a baby," The doctor explained, rushing forward before Emma could interrupt that they weren't actually trying to get pregnant yet. "But if you do decide the non-traditional route is the one for you, there's always in vitro fertilization, or IUI, or ICSI, among other methods."

"And what, pray tell, does that mean?" Killian questioned.

"It means we have options, and that we can make the family a bit bigger if you want," Emma said, hand wrapped around his and fingers rubbing reassuringly over his skin. She offered him a small smile, one that he slowly returned, the haunting in his eyes lifting a little more.

Killian snorted, a sound of masked relief to Emma's ears. "And they call this the land without magic."

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Blame this one on my cousin and her husband's attempts to get pregnant and being told it might take longer than they think it will, but it got me thinking about Hook's lifestyle over the centuries and how we never hear of any children/accidental pregnancies. 300 years is a long time, and statistically speaking Hook should've had a baby mama somewhere along the way, even having spent a giant chunk of time in Neverland. Unless he never met up with the woman in question and she had the kid without him knowing, but idk.

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