Hi. As some of you know I did change the title of this story because I never liked the original title and I feel this title rings true to the story, true to them. Your messages, reviews and dm are always so wonderful to read and I so appreciate them and you all.
I suppose the question I have is how exactly do you navigate an obstacle as difficult as the one Olivia and Fitz are embarking on? Do you ignore your feelings for the sack of family and lose your own happiness or do you do what's best for your heart. Tough topic. But without further ado...enjoy.
Until Next Time...Muse.
X
One by one the family walks into the luxurious limo, not much of a whisper is spoken as they enter the tight space. Fitz looked for Olivia, for reasons he still wasn't sure why. What exactly was he hoping to say to her, was he seeking her in hopes of absorbing her if just for a glance. He found himself waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, wondering and hoping that he would have the second of her time so that he could apologize for his foolish ways but as time kept ticking and the family scattered to the door, Fitz soon understood that what Olivia wanted was to do what he said and forget about the day.
She walks into the limo, slightly out of breath with Daniel following close behind her. It only takes Fitz a second to come to the painful conclusion at what was keeping Olivia and Daniel.
Olivia smiles at Helen as she slides in the limo, without thinking her head rises and she freezes at the sight of Fitz sitting right across from her with a look on his face that was a mixture between hurt and acceptance.
"It seems you too got the party started early." Jerry roars causing Olivia to duck her head with embarrassment.
Daniel kisses the top of her head as he shields her from the teasing. Olivia isn't sure what to take from Fitz, they shared this moment and they both voiced their thoughts about the other but it still doesn't change the fact that she is with Daniel and the moment she second guessed the idea of her relationship he quickly told her to forget about them and pretend it never happened, so she did.
Without saying a word, Fitz reaches for the decanter on the console pouring himself a small drink to settle his stomach.
"Fitzgerald, you are drinking?" Helen says shocked.
Fitz nods his head as he tries to find his words, he looks down at the glass in his hands and without a word he places it back on the console.
"Fitz, I didn't mean to stop you from drinking…. it's just you don't drink very often."
"No…" Fitz looks at his mother smiling gently at her concerned face "your right, I don't like drinking and I don't drink for a reason…just felt like I might need one today that's all."
Olivia's face rises softly to stare at Fitz but he doesn't look at her.
"If you feel you need it…"
"No…I don't need anything that bad. I wouldn't know how to act with alcohol."
"Fitz, I like your suit." Daniel says
"Thanks" Fitz looks down at himself uncertain with these clothes and this atmosphere. "you look very nice, Daniel."
And he does, unlike Fitz who's curly hair is reaching the nape of his neck, Daniel's hair is cut short with no signs of curls in sight. Both of the brothers have the same jaw structure and similar noses though not identical, but it was always the eyes that make the difference between the two. Fitz's eyes are a soft blue, similar to the sky while Daniel's eyes remind her of the sea both a different shade of blue.
The party is in full swing as they enter.
Fitz exhales audibly at the sight of the grandest country club mansion. It's white pillars extended the tip of the roof of the grand building to seemingly touch the night sky. Fitz would say openly if asked that he found this venue to be predictable, they frequented this mansion during the summer vacations and winter vacations for no need other than to gloat about their financial status but the best thing about this mansion was the secrets it held inside. The memories Fitz cherished as a young boy and the hiding spots he so deeply appreciates when in need of silence.
The hundreds of seats had all been moved, replaced by a sleek wood floor. The room was filled with laughs and voices all around, engulfed in conversations. Different shades of black and white dresses twirled as woman danced around the amber lit room. Fitz walks away from the family as everyone screams and claps for Helen's arrival.
Loud noises. Bright lights. They were all standing in the same large room. They babbled, chatted, gossiped, admired, chuckled, and envied. Most of their hearts were corrupted, overflowing with deceit and detestation, but in the crowd, was the innocent but even they too will join the temptation that is the rich and powerful
"Hey stranger"
"Hey yourself." Fitz smiles at the young lady with auburn hair walking over to him in the corner with a glass of water in his hand.
"Not drinking?"
"I'm already drunk off life." Fitz retorts causing the young woman to laugh at his joke.
"It's good to see you back home." Sarah smiled at him having always had a crush on him since they were kids, Fitz was always kind to her when everyone else at school would make fun of her for her braces and her glasses.
"You know." Fitz turns to look at her finally taking in her beauty for the first time, she has truly grown into a beautiful woman "you are the first person to say that to me!"
"Liar!"
"I'm not" Fitz shakes his honestly "Not too many people are happy with me being home."
"Well, at least you know one person who is."
They stare at one another for a minute both smiling at the familiar banter.
"Save me dance!" Sarah yells as she watches Fitz walk away
"You know I don't dance."
"Maybe this time I could change your mind."
"Maybe."
Her eyes are discreetly on his, following his every move and where about; watching the fake smiles, and empty words as men and women flock around him, hoping and believing that if near him long enough they too will be special. But little do they know that his power springs internally from his benevolent heart.
Olivia watched Fitz from the corner of her eye, she saw him talking to a girl who was clearly trying to flirt with him.
"Who's that girl?" Oliva ask Daniel as they sit at the rectangle table with his family and their friends.
"Oh, that's Sarah. She's a childhood friend, my mother and her mom are best friends which made us spend time with her, but she always had a crush on Fitz."
"hmm." Olivia sips her drink deciding not to respond.
"I always thought they would make a good couple."
"Who would make a good couple?" Fitz ask having to sit across from Olivia. He avoided sitting with them in hopes of putting space between them but with his seat clearly across from Olivia's he knows he would eventually have to deal with her.
"You and Sarah."
"Oh."
"Don't you like her?"
"Sure."
"Come on, Fitz. She's beautiful and smart and she has a damn good job so you could paint all day and just keep her satisfied without having to work."
"Is that what you think I do?" Fitz asked "that I just live off these women, who work hard to support themselves."
" It was joke." Daniel says exasperatedly
"It was a good one." Fitz agrees "I'm a damn good lover, just ask Cynthia."
"Damn it, Fitz." Daniel bangs on the table angry as everyone at the table turns to stare at him.
"It was a joke." Fitz says sarcastically
"I had let that go, but you clearly can't." Daniel says
"How can I when you bring it up every chance you get."
"Whatever Fitz."
"Why do you have a problem with me?" Fitz asked curiously "I don't come home often, and when I do you have to be here kissing everyone's ass. Don't you ever get tired of pretending to be someone you're not?"
"I know who I am. You are the one pretending. " Daniel whispers so that only him, Fitz and Olivia could hear. "You pretending to be this poor man, this struggling artist. You are pathetic. And you are spoiled and entitled. You are not struggling so stop pretending."
"I do not touch that money. Not because I can't but because I don't like being my father's bitch." Fitz hisses "and if you keep insulting me brother, I will hurt you and I won't' be joking." Fitz attempts to walk away but is stopped by Helen grabbing his hand and walking him towards her group of friends so that she could make her rounds and show off her pride and joy.
"Of course, she takes Fitz's side." Daniel says exhaustedly downing the rest of his whiskey.
"You think she's doing that?" Olivia asked choosing to put aside all that she has just heard and witnessed between the two brothers.
"My mother loves Fitz more than life itself, she dots on him and has a cross for him because the world just isn't worthy of angelic Fitz."
"You seem resentful." Olivia closes her eyes and bites her lips angry at herself for opening her mouth.
Daniel turns to Olivia shocked and hurt by her own opinion "I can't believe you said that."
"I'm sorry."
"You are not here; this is not your family." Olivia shudders at Daniel's statement. "You have no idea how manipulative Fitz is."
"I'm sorry. Let's just let it go." Olivia says wanting to put an end to the conversation.
In the corner of the ball room Olivia watches couples and families dance amongst themselves under the bright lit room with hard wood floors shining under their glossing shoes. Daniel had went with Jerry to talk amongst some clients and Olivia knows she should be upset and under normal circumstances she would be but for the time being she appreciated the silence.
"Would you like to dance?"
Olivia closes her eyes at the sound of the voice.
"I'm good." Olivia says never turning around.
"Okay. Do you mind if I stand next you, then?"
"No." Olivia says
And so they stand in silence with no words being spoken.
"my name is Jake."
"Nice to meet you, Jake."
He laughs at Olivia for not giving up her name "do you not have a name?"
"No." Olivia says warmly smiling at her own coldness.
"Ouch."
"Is this man bothering you?"
Olivia felt her heart beating out of her chest at the sound of his baritone voice finally talking to her.
"No, he's fine."
"Leave the girl alone, Fitz."
"You have to watch out for people like Jacob, he's a wolf in sheep's clothing." Fitz says jokingly causing their small group to laugh but Olivia took note of Fitz's voice and while it was playfully Olivia could sense the truth in his loaded statement.
"Fitz, don't you have enough woman fanning over you, can't you let us mere mortals try and find someone."
"I do not have a problem with that just as long as you are not intruding on her space and time."
"What business is it of yours?" Jake responds angrily at Fitz being defensive and protective over this stranger.
"I am making her my business and I just ask that you be respectful and courteous."
Olivia does not speak throughout this entanglement but every word etched from Fitz's mouth is like a shot to her heart. She's been waiting for Fitz to fail her, to let her down, any sign of pretending on his part but she sees he's not pretending, he really is this guy.
"Thank you Fitz." Olivia turns to Fitz for the first time since there encounter.
"Would you like to dance?" Fitz asked with hope in his voice
"Wait a minute, I asked her first." Jake whines clearly annoyed with Fitz ruining his moment with this woman.
"Well, she has a mind of her own so we can let her decide." Fitz says once again being the voice of reason.
And she waits a minute looking between the two attractive men, it wasn't that she wanted to dance with Jake, not at all but she worried whether dancing with Fitz would be appropriate and respectful to her relationship with Daniel.
Her eyes lock onto Fitz's
"Olivia!"
All three of them turn to look at Daniel waving at her to come meet some of his friends he was talking to.
Jake walks away from them while Olivia turns to look at Fitz.
"I'm sorry. I can't." Olivia says
She's not sure why she expected Fitz to yell or be mad at her for running away but he didn't. He gave her his signature smile that assured her that everything was okay.
His voice is ethereal like a whisper but the pitch vibrates throughout the walls and lands softly on her warm skin. She can hear it in the sound of his voice, the deep baritone.
"I know." Fitz says softly "go ahead and go to him, he's waiting for you."
The second Olivia turned around to search for him, she found him dancing with the girl she saw him with earlier. A slight stab penetrated her heart at the sight of them together, but Olivia acknowledges that they do make a good looking couple.
/
The house is majestic, grand. Walking around the mansion it reminds her of one of her favorite books growing up, 'The Great Gatsby'. The energy around this room is similar too old money, people with too much money on their hand who have little interest in things outside of their circle. With her index finger on the wall, Olivia walks aimlessly around the mansion, imaging the many stories these walls have seen and heard.
"Fitzgerald, I need you to go make nice with Tiffany."
"Damn it, Jerry. You never quit, do you? What does Tiffany have that you want me to get for you?"
"Listen here, boy. I'm trying to keep our clients happy and when Tiffany sees you…well you are a Grant."
"Great. Selling your son for the highest price."
"Now you stop being dramatic, this isn't the first time you've done this. I had to clean up after you all the time especially when you slept with Hollis's wife."
"I didn't sleep with her for money."
"But you were bored, Fitzgerald and I am giving you want you."
"Sex. You think I want sex?"
"Don't we all?"
"Not me." Fitz shakes his head disgusted
"You are full of shit! I've seen you boy and you have a knack for causing problems. Now Tiffany is a special client, with her company branching off mainstream we could be sleeping in riches when we have dust in our casket."
"You have enough money, when is enough going to be enough for you? Why are you never satisfied?"
"The correction son is why are you always satisfied? You have no ambition, no goals."
"My goal isn't to be your prostitute that's for damn sure."
"You've had sex with her before what's the problem."
"The problem is that this isn't my choosing. The problem is that my father wants me to screw a woman for his benefit. The problem is that I have a monster and his name is 'father'. Why can't you be normal?
"Grow up, Fitzgerald! You aren't a kid anymore. Now you better start producing something if you want to be a part of this family."
"It's my mother's birthday. I don't come home often; I came to be with her. To celebrate her not this bullshit."
"That's not your mother. That's Daniel's mother."
Fitz doesn't respond only shaking his head in hopes of getting Jerry out of his head for the time being.
"Now, you do what I say."
"Or what?" Fitz counters angrily "what exactly can you do to me? Take my money away? Remove me from my job and title? Ruin my reputation? I have nothing that belongs to you."
"Except my name."
"Take it!" Fitz yells "God knows I would be better off without it."
"You are worthless." Jerry hisses moving closer towards the window at Fitz "you are a sorry excuse of a man. I should have never brought you home!"
Fitz turns to Jerry coldly. "This wasn't a home to begin with."
With his eyes hardening, and his glare menacing Jerry looks at Fitz one last time.
"Bastard." He roars walking out of the study room.
Olivia exhales the breath she has been holding in. Her eyes close in gratitude that she ran into the nearby room before Jerry walked out but it was too late, she heard everything. Her hand covers her mouth in hopes of silencing her cries. This family is filled with lies and deceit with no one having a conscious or soul. Her heart somehow manages to cry for Fitz more than she thought possible.
She walks out of the room after taking several minutes to get her composure when Fitz walks out the door at the same time. Both freezing at the sight of the other. Fitz was going to ask Olivia what she was doing but he looked at her face and he already knew, Olivia heard everything. Fresh tears are in her eyes threatening to fall at the sight of Fitz and she does.
"Don't cry. Come with me." He walks away without ever turning around. After a second of contemplation Olivia follows behind him quickly. Neither of them speaking as he takes her down the spiraling stair case that lead outside.
Finally, away from all others Fitz slows down his pace enough so that Olivia could catch up to him. They walk side by side with the crickets chirping as their only source of sound.
"This is beautiful." Olivia's eyes wander across the spacious rose garden filled with a variety of roses and even with the night sky they still seem to blossom. Inside the garden contains a light pole radiating the perfect amount of light and a bench which Fitz believes was made for two.
"My mother would take me out here to play before this was a garden. This is her rose garden." Fitz smiles sadly as his hands runs along the cement bench with her name engraved in it.
Olivia turns to Fitz with sadness and the question she was dying to ask.
"My real mother. One day I will tell you about her but right now, I don't think I am quite strong enough to talk about her without breaking down. I'm sorry for that." Fitz says referring to Jerry's outburst and Olivia having to hear them.
"No" Olivia rushes to Fitz, gently touching his arm as a sign of comfort. "I am so sorry." Olivia cries out as she sobs for Fitz and his treatment.
"Hey" Fitz grabs Olivia's face in his hand, gently wiping her tears "why are you sorry, you didn't do anything."
"I.. I…your father is…despicable. The way he talked to you and treated you! That's inhumane Fitz. He's evil and you…" her words somehow manage to cease as she considers his eyes. Their oval shape, small but in the iris of his eyes Olivia sees little specks of light shining through. How is it possible that someone as lovely as Fitz could be raised by the devil himself?
"Your pure, lover boy."
Fitz laughs loudly not realizing how much needed to laugh until he finally did. "You too." Fitz says laughing at Olivia bringing up his nickname
"Well…apparently, you get bored easily, Don Juan."
Fitz laughs again with a laugh that resonant deep within his diaphragm "I'm not that much of a playboy as everyone likes to make me out to be."
"You slept with Hollis's wife."
"Yeah…"
"How old were you?"
"Eighteen."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Not my proudest moment."
"How many women have you slept with?"
Fitz walks away from Olivia moving to smell the roses instead. "I don't know. Once I got older and wiser I stopped sleeping around with people like that."
Olivia walks to Fitz remembering the day they first met. "Where's your girlfriend?"
"Where's your boyfriend?" Fitz counters cheekily.
Olivia ignores Fitz's question. The last thing she wants to do is talk about or mention Daniel. "Fitz, how did you survive?"
He nods his head sadly as he struggles to make sense of his upbringing "my life wasn't always such a tragedy, but I see what the world is and what it could be and I like to believe that I have touch the heart of others in way that they will remember me not for what I have done but for who I am."
"That's why Daniel doesn't like you?" Olivia acknowledges softly
Fitz turns to look at Olivia surprised by her candor "You change people, Fitz. You're the dream come true."
Picking out a lavender rose Fitz hands it to Olivia "Legend has it that Adonis was so enchanted by Aphrodite that he handed her the most beautiful rose plucked from the earth, that when she saw the delicate flower she became enthralled with them and demanded that every day she receive one." Looking at the rose in his hand he hands it to Olivia. "For you."
Olivia smiles at the lavender rose, trying her best not to cry at his generosity and kindness "it is not the rose that keeps me coming back to you, Fitz."
Her eyes catch his blue eyes piercing into her soul and she is momentarily stunned by the interminable feeling resonating with her at his tender stare.
"Would you like to dance?"
Faintly Olivia nods her head as they walk to stand under the light with the moon shining and smiling at their union. Their hands clasped together, gently Fitz wraps his arm around Olivia's waist as Olivia moves closer into his arms. He closes his eyes at the feel of her in his arms, the sweet smell of her perfume infiltrating his nostrils with the wind, somehow beyond his control she somehow manages to fit into his arms perfectly.
Her skin's glowing in the night light as the stars fell from the sky and landed gently on her skin. His thumb caresses her skin gently as ghost bumps begin to form on her flesh at his kind touch.
"You're cold. Here, let's sit." Fitz guides Olivia to the bench much to her silent protest because she wasn't ready to stop dancing with him. Because for the second time today she was ready to run with him, and the thought of that frightened her more than she can comprehend.
Olivia nearly falls on the grass as her heels slides out. "damn shoe." Olivia hisses angrily and more so embarrassed. Reaching down to grab it, Fitz ends up placing her on the bench as he holds her heel in his hand.
"Fitz, you don't have to do that." Olivia begins to protest watching as Fitz kneels in front of her.
Without a word, Fitz slides Olivia's foot into her heel with the upmost care as he fixes the strappings of her heel, making it tight enough were her foot won't slide out.
Standing in front of Olivia he removes his jacket and places it around Olivia's shoulder to keep her warm. Normally she would protest at this kind of intimacy especially with Fitz but with what he's dealt with today and his benevolent heart how exactly can she refuse him.
Turning to look at him, Olivia watches him stare at the sky and at that very moment Olivia knew Fitz would leave somehow, a man as great as him, the only limit would be the sky itself.
"This is my mother's bench…I planted this garden for her."
Olivia's eyes begin to water at Fitz's declaration but she doesn't say anything as she listens to him talk.
"Her name was Rose. In time, I will tell you more about her and my upbringing…I think about her everyday and hope that she is proud of me, I don't know if she is but…"
"Why wouldn't she be?"
"I don't have much that I accomplished, I have nothing and no one. I did this for her because I wanted her to have a place that was hers. Jerry didn't support this homage and so I had to work for all the supplies… all the flowers…the upkeep."
"How did you do it?"
"I went to Hollis's house and asked if I could do yard work to pay for my gift to my mother and he agreed. I was eighteen at the time."
Suddenly Olivia remembers the conversation that she overheard between Fitz and Jerry.
"You slept with Hollis's wife."
His head drops in shame. "I was young and I fell for her…blame it on my mommy issues."
Olivia tightens Fitz's jacket around her, her stomach began to feel queasy at the thought of Fitz sleeping with this woman or anyone else for that matter but Olivia doesn't think too much of the moment.
"I refused her money though she begged to pay for it. I didn't sleep with her no matter how much she tried to sleep with me until one time."
"What caused you to sleep with her?"
He rubs his head as he remembers the moment "She brought me here and showed me the bench she bought with my mother's name on it and I was so touched by the gesture that I kissed her and I slept with her. She was my first"
"Hmmm." Olivia mumbles trying to suppress her judgement and thoughts.
Fitz turns to look at Olivia taking note of her indifference to the conversation. "Too much?" Fitz asked gently.
Olivia shakes her head "No. Your fine."
"You didn't like hearing that, be honest."
"No. I did not"
Fitz nods his head "that's good to know."
"Why?"
"You like me." Fitz says softly as he nudges Olivia with his shoulder causing her to giggle.
"Not even remotely." Olivia says causing Fitz to smile at her in a way that makes her heart feel warm inside.
"Are you going to sleep with that girl?"
Suddenly the light banter goes colder "I don't know."
"I can't believe you are even considering it."
"Why not?"
"Because…you are not a whore. Nobody owns you Fitz."
"Yeah well, you don't have to be a whore to be lonely."
Olivia stares at him for a moment contemplating his words.
"What's wrong with sleeping with a person, and enjoying their company."
"Because… you don't love her."
"What does love have to do with any of this?"
"I should go." Olivia stands up quickly seeing the conversation taking a turn she doesn't want to have.
"Right." Fitz says frustrated. "You're not jealous, right?"
"Why would I be jealous?"
"Because of this" Fitz points between "because of what we have."
"We don't have anything." Olivia says
"Then why are you here with me and not Daniel? You slept with him to make me feel bad."
"Grow up." Olivia says "Daniel is my boyfriend, of course I sleep with him."
"Then why do you have a problem with me sleeping with someone? It would certainly take the edge off a shitty night."
"Your father is trying to control you and sleeping with this person means he wins. You can sleep with whoever you want, Fitz. I'm just here to support you because I think we are friends."
"Friends?"
"Yes, Friends. Do you not want to be friends with me?"
With a moment of contemplation, Fitz looks at Olivia and all she possesses "I'll love to be your friend, Olivia."
"Okay..."
"Okay."
"Olivia!" Olivia jumps at the sound of Daniel yelling for her as he walks aimlessly outside.
"You better go." Fitz says softly
Olivia slides Fitz's jacket off and hands it to him. "Thanks for letting me borrow your jacket."
"Thanks for keeping it warm." Fitz jokes.
Olivia looks at Fitz knowing she should walk away before Daniel finds them but she can't seem to say goodbye to him.
"It's okay; she'll keep me company." Fitz says kindly referring to his mother.
Olivia walks away from Fitz, for her own sanity and salvation. Every second spent with him she finds herself slipping further and further into his world and losing sight of her own.
"Where the hell have you been?" Daniel hisses worried that Olivia took off and for so long. He looked for her but nobody knew where she was and who she was.
"I kind of got lost and I found myself walking outside to the rose garden."
Daniel looks down at the lavender rose in Olivia's hand "you found Fitz's garden…You might want to hide that rose."
"Why?"
"No one can go to his sacred garden, and you stole a rose…Fitz might just yell at you for that."
Olivia opened her mouth to protest but then she remembered that Fitz took her there and the rose he picked for her. With Daniel's words ringing in her head, Olivia wonders what exactly does this mean for her and Fitz. Letting go of Daniels's hand, Olivia stops to look back at the rose garden, back at Fitz wondering if maybe just maybe he was looking back at her too. With one last glance, Olivia walks inside never seeing his eyes following her every step of the way.