Soothe

Azel POV - Gran 757

"Thank you, Sir Midir," I mumbled, doing my best to not trip. I was still a little woozy from overworking, even after the ride back to Evans Castle. Though, being the passenger on the ride hadn't helped either. It wasn't as bad as a carriage, of course, but it was still enough to make my stomach turn. "Sorry for this."

"It's not like I would've been much help without arrows," Sir Midir reassured, supporting my back without the slightest bit of hesitation. He was a very kind and gentle person. I hadn't known that, since I'd just seen him as Lady Aideen's stoic bodyguard in the past. "We should go to the infirmary to get you checked. You used quite a bit of magic."

"Mmm… okay…" I didn't want to bother Alicia when she was no doubt busy, but I also couldn't pass up the easy excuse to see her. "I was helpful, though, right?"

"Extremely."

"Good…" I couldn't help but smile. It was childish to seek such validation, but it was just so… so nice to be able to help…

Back in Velthomer, I was just a burden. I couldn't really do anything to help out Arvis at all. Arvis had to rule Velthomer and manage the Royal Guard, and I just stood on the side, helpless while he overworked. It was how it had always been, really. Often, it terrified me, just how serious and focused he could be. It really made me feel like I was weighing him down. Then, of course, there was how he was always alone. And I hated that. He had exactly one friend, Aida, and Arvis always claimed it was enough, but I… even I had more than one friend. And I was useless. Though if I said that, Lex and Tailtiu would immediately scold me. I could even imagine the lectures easily…

"I wonder where Sir Finn is," Sir Midir murmured, looking around curiously. Drawn out of my meandering thoughts, I looked around as well, noticing how empty everything felt. There were people, sure, but… not as many as I would've thought. "He did come back before us, yes?"

"He did," I confirmed, now a bit uneasy. As I listened, I thought I heard screams and sobbing echoing down the hall, but that had to be my imagination. "He pulled a muscle, and opted to fall back instead of push forward and sustain a worse injury." I would've thought he'd be patrolling or something, and therefore come to greet us, but… "Also, am I hallucinating the noise?"

"No." Sir Midir's eyes were grim. "No, we're just near the infirmary."

"Why would that noise have anything to do with…?"

Then we reached the infirmary, and I understood. The sounds were from all the wounded. Blood was everywhere, saturating the towels put down. The dead were piled in another room, only somewhat neat. The conscious were sobbing from pain, begging for something to knock them out. The unconscious laid limply, like ragdolls. Every single bed was occupied, and there were places set up on the floor for more.

In a haze, I looked for people not hurt, and found Lady Lachesis and Sir Finn in the back corner. Lady Lachesis held down a screaming, sobbing patient and I wondered why, until I saw Sir Finn was sawing off their arm. Both of them were coated in blood, and there was a bin by Sir Finn's feet that already had other limbs inside, from other amputations. I quickly looked away, stomach turning, and I found Alicia by a bed, stitching up someone's insides with a calm that felt almost unnatural given the noise and sight.

"There we go," Alicia murmured, smiling gently at the person. For a second, I feared they were awake, but no, it was just an automatic response. "Now to…" She reached for something, but then shook her head. "Drat. Lady Lachesis? Sir Finn? I need another healing staff." However, since Sir Finn and Lady lachesis were still in the middle of amputating the screaming soldier's arm (and gods above and below, why weren't they unconscious?! Why not give them something for the pain?!), Sir Midir fetched the staff for her. "Ah, thank you, Sir Midir." She began healing up the soldier's outsides, glancing up briefly to see me standing there awkwardly. I had seen the infirmary in the church, briefly, but this went far… far, far beyond… "Azel, can you fetch some fresh bandages for me?"

Automatically, I did as she asked, just because what else was I supposed to do? Sir Midir helped as well, and Alicia gave us orders as if we had been there the entire time. When Lady Lachesis and Sir Finn were finally done, they got another soldier who needed an amputation. However, that one ended up dying on the table, from what I saw. Lady Lachesis looked ready to cry, and Sir Finn grimaced, but Alicia simply had the body moved and another one was given. That one I cauterized the wound for, using the power I inherited from Vala to do so. It was messy and smelled horrible, but it at least kept them from bleeding out. Or something. I wasn't sure. After a while, everything just blended together.

But, eventually, things settled down. Sir Midir went on a patrol, and I began mopping up the blood that had pooled on the floor. I thought about asking Sir Finn or Lady Lachesis for help, but both had passed out on the corner, leaning on each other as they slept. Alicia, of course, went around checking all the patients again before she regarded the two nappers. Wearing a fond smile, she draped a blanket over both of them and then turned to me. I tried to not bounce when her smile softened even further.

"I love spending time with you, little brother," she murmured then. As before, she was a beacon of serenity in the middle of the mess. "But I am confused

"Are you, Lady Sister? I didn't notice," I replied honestly. I was too exhausted by this point to even think about lying. "Sir Sigurd's strategy…"

With that, I rambled about the strategy and my part in it. Alicia began fretting, both over how I was and how close I possibly got to accidentally using a Final Strike. But as we talked, I felt quite a bit of my exhaustion lift away. I was still tired as all hell, but it didn't feel quite as overwhelming. Arvis had always told me that Alicia was soothing to be around, like a warm fire during a cold night. I could see what he meant, though he never mentioned how she held herself apart. Then again, Arvis was also like that, so he probably just didn't notice. Rather like he didn't notice how he could never describe people, because he was so used to people disappearing that he never bothered to remember anymore.

I thought about asking her about it, wondering if she tried to project such a presence on purpose, but then Sir Midir appeared, stating that there were civilians being chased by soldiers. So, of course, we went after them, with Alicia trailing behind. Outside, I saw the two civilians were a young boy and Lady Aideen, and I couldn't help but be ecstatic. So, I fought the enemies alongside the other soldiers, showing off a little bit on accident, and then eagerly headed for where everyone was grouping up so that I could talk to her. However, I only got there in time to see Lady Aideen throw herself at Sir Midir, sobbing. I felt frozen as I watched her cry, watched as Sir Midir wiped away the tears, watched as Lady Aideen hugged him again and, this time, he hugged her back…

I winced, feeling like my heart had just been ripped out of my chest. I knew I shouldn't be surprised. Lady Aideen was… she was amazing, really. Like a goddess, or a muse… and goddesses and muses didn't get with 'normal' people, much less people like me. Yet, at the same time, I couldn't be angry or anything. I mean… maybe in a different life, I'd be the one who greeted and talked to her. Maybe in a different life, that conversation would spark more and more, and she'd fall in love with me. But this wasn't a 'different life'. It was 'this life', and I loved it. And I loved that she was safe and happy. Even if my heart ached so much that I half-thought I'd need a healing staff to make it better.

While I tried to figure out how to react, Alicia hesitantly reached out to me. I took the offered hug, and when I started crying, she ran her hand through my hair to soothe me. She didn't say a word, just quietly comforted me and continued to project that soothing presence that just made everything feel… feel like everything would be okay. I'd have to figure out a way to thank her for that.

Author's Notes: And here's an Azel. This takes place during chapter 3 of Memoirs of the Holy War, and I wanted to showcase Azel's emotions at seeing Aideen again, and having it definitely shown that she won't return his feelings (I think both mangas also addressed it). Azel actually has a talk with Aideen here that boosts their love points, but it's mutually exclusive with Midir's own talk.