Well. Since Scandal has not releasing anything interesting at the moment, I figured I might as well get the ball going. My thoughts and prayers are with those who are currently and still dealing with the hurricanes. May you and your family stay safe and warm. And Once again thank you for always being encouraging and inspiring.
Until Next Time ...Muse.
X
She's avoiding him. Not because she wishes to make him upset or spark a flame of jealously. No. It's simply for self-preservation. What they did, how they touched, it all rings back in her head like a movie that regardless of her attempts at pausing she countlessly plays the moment. The instant where she saw herself crossing the line and going past the point of no return.
Every time she looks at him, a blush rises to her cheeks, a sly smile begins to form at the actions for which they don't speak of.
It wasn't a singular moment that stirred Olivia to this point but a continuous motion. She's smiling at him beyond her control and she must remind herself to stop, to ignore the soft butterfly in her stomach as she stares at him or when they talk in a way that comforts her with the gentle familiarity that they have forged under their unholy union.
She managed to stay away from him, talking only when necessary. A part of her does wonder though if he is aware of the sins and crime she committed that unforgivable night. But she looks at him and somehow she knows he's aware and willingly participated. How could he not. His eyes. They bore through her like a strike of lighting and she was the tree that turned into a flame.
She couldn't wait for Daniel, she was starving. The lingering smell of warm pastries had her stomach rumbling.
"Hi" she whispers as she tucks the lose strand of hair behind her ear.
"Hi" he smiles back with a smile that caused her to smile in return.
They were the first to come downstairs for breakfast. With the platters of food aligned on the island, the two awkwardly and silently grab food on their plate.
"Bacon lover?" Olivia asked watching Fitz pile bacon on his plate.
"Unfortunately, yes. I love bacon. I know it's not good for you but a little pleasure can't be so terrible. You want some?" Fitz asked holding out of a piece of bacon for Olivia with the tongs.
"I'll pass" Olivia says looking at the unappetizing piece of meat.
"You're missing out." Fitz says as he grabs a waffle or two on his plate. "you better eat."
"I eat plenty" Olivia says looking down at flat tummy.
"You eat like a cat!" Fitz exclaims walking around her to grab an extra plate.
Olivia begins giggle at the remark "my mom used to call me a cat because I would climb trees and then jump from them while always remaining on my feet."
"So a cat you are." Fitz said piling on more food. "You need to eat, something with substance."
"Like bacon?" Olivia asked moving closer to Fitz then what would be appropriate.
"Like waffles!" Fitz says excitedly handing Olivia a plate he made for her.
"This is a lot of food." Olivia examines looking at the fruit, waffles, eggs and bacon covering her plate. Surprisingly besides her mother, Olivia doesn't recall anyone ever making her a plate of food before. The action wasn't lost on her but she could never tell him that these sweet gestures of kindness he has bestowed unto her are bringing her closer to the brink of recklessness.
"And you are going to love it." Fitz says walking away to sit at the table.
Olivia watches him walk away, somewhat stunned by his brazen nature. How he can smile and talk to her as if nothing has happened between them.
She sits beside him, smiling as he piles jam on his biscuit.
"What?" Fitz asked with a smile on his face as he caught Olivia smirking at him.
"Nothing" Olivia sips her tea
"Your smiling"
"So, I can smile." Olivia retorts back
"I like jam" Fitz whispers to Olivia warmly
"What's your favorite?"
"Blackberry" Fitz says holding the jar for Olivia to see causing her to laugh uncontrollably.
"What's wrong with black-" and he stops himself laughing loudly with Olivia. Olivia hears the distinction between his laugh and Daniel's. Daniel always had a conservative chuckle as though nothing was ever too funny for him to control, now while Fitz is serious he can laugh and when he finally lets his guard down to do it, it is a glorious laugh. Rich, deep, warm.
"You are very naughty." Fitz laughs so that only Olivia could Hear him.
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"I like chocolate too, but I think you already know that. In case you were wondering."
"I wasn't." Olivia says snooty though her eyes catch Fitz and he can see the spark in her eye at her playfulness. For two days, she avoided him and now it's like they were inseparable.
"Mmhhmm " Fitz sips his coffee "sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night."
"You like playing in the snow though." Fitz says with a finality that causes his chest to rise at having the last word.
"I do." Olivia says reaching for the blackberry jam to spread on her biscuit.
Fitz smirks at her. "It's good you're eating; you need meat on your bones."
"Daniel likes me the way I am." Olivia quips and she closes her eyes in regret at having brought him up.
"That's because he's agreeable. Trust me, a real man likes his women with some meat. Don't be afraid to gain weight."
"And you are a real man?" Olivia asked
"Realist you can get." Fitz says biting his bacon with zest as he winks at Olivia
"What does a real man do?"
"It's a macho thing, we try to be the provider, you know protect and love but we also submit to our women and realize they are the one with the true power."
"Is that right"
"Yeah." Fitz dips his waffle in syrup before taking a large bite.
" hypothetically speaking, if you were my women then I would understand that this is a woman's world and I'm just living in it. We would be a team. Complementing each other but also different enough to balance our quirks. You would help settle my romantic idealistic thoughts with your more practical ones."
"Okay" Olivia says quietly as she bites her waffle
"Did I scare you?"
"No" Olivia smiles shyly "not at all"
Fitz sighs with contentment as he rubs his belly.
"You eat a lot" Olivia notices as he cleans his first plate moving on to his second one.
"Growing man" Fitz jokes
"How do you-" she freezes knowing that she was once again crossing the line.
"How do I stay so fit and sexy?" Fitz answers
"No" Olivia says much to quickly embarrassed that once again she was asking an inappropriate question.
"What do you think I do?"
"I don't know" Olivia shrugs "that's why I'm asking you."
Fitz gives Olivia a knowing look. For a woman who doesn't like to show all her cards Fitz sees her clearly. Her questions are never simply to keep conversations. She's interested more than she tries to be, more than she wants.
"I'm not having sex if that's what you are thinking." Fitz whisper gently "I'm not the guy everyone mistakes me to be. I'm not."
She nods her head sadly as she looks at him. "I know." She whispers
"Do you cook a lot?" Oliva asked taking the conversation back to a more neutral area.
"Not really, I know how to survive but I would love to have a wife who loves to cook? That way she cooks and I clean."
"Your wife would have to be a chef to keep you full."
"I would manage with whatever she cooked for me. It could be simple like hot dogs."
"Hot dogs" Olivia giggles at his simplistically
"You are so easy to please." Olivia exclaims
"I would have to learn how to cook to feed you." Olivia bites her lip embarrassed that she has put her foot in her mouth.
Fitz stops eating to smile at Olivia. Happy at catching the slip of her tongue.
"We could learn together but I would have to get private lessons because I can tell you are a perfectionist."
Olivia laughs joyfully as she nudges Fitz "I'm not a perfectionist."
"You are such a perfectionist but that's okay. It's fitting. "
Olivia rolls her eyes playfully annoyed.
Five minutes later they are interrupted by the shoes banging on the staircase. One by one the Grant family makes their way downstairs all of them dressed for work.
"Where are you going?" Olivia asked looking at Daniel with a suit on with Jerry following close behind.
" To work." Daniel said moving to kiss Olivia on the lips.
"Why?" Olivia asked "aren't you supposed to be on vacation?"
"Technically I am but Jerry wants me to oversee somethings while I'm in town."
"Okay" Olivia says turning back to her breakfast
"Are you mad?"
"Not at all." Olivia says slightly annoyed that Daniel hasn't been living up to his promise to take off from work when she did but most importantly she didn't want to be alone with Fitz.
Daniel kisses her again as he sits beside Olivia grabbing a waffle from her plate.
"Wow, Liv. You are going to get a tummy eating all that." Daniel exclaims patting Olivia's stomach as he notices the large amount of food on her plate.
"Shut up, Daniel." Fitz exclaims sipping his coffee as he stares Daniel down.
"What?" Daniel says looking at Fitz shocked by his stance.
"Let Olivia eat." Fitz says cutting his food as he looked at Daniel with disdain.
"I'm not saying she can't ". Daniel looks at Fitz defensively
"You need to worry about your growing waistline and your thinning hair."
"You can never take a joke." Daniel says frustrated. "You jump on me every time, and for what? It was a joke between me and Olivia."
"It wasn't funny."
"She's not your girlfriend." Daniel hisses and suddenly the room becomes tense with Jerry saying nothing but looking between the two feuding brothers.
Fitz manages to keep his mouth shut as he looked at Daniel with such anger that Olivia could feel her skin become warm at being the cause of their tension and rift.
"Your hair is looking a little thin." Olivia quips causing the tense room to laugh except for Fitz.
"Fair enough." Daniel says kissing Olivia on the lips.
"Where are you off too?" Fitz asked looking at Helen dressed up.
"Oh just a few committee gatherings and luncheons. I'm going to be pretty busy for the next few days."
"Well you look beautiful as always." Helen immediately begins to blush at the compliment.
"Thank you sweet boy. I'm sorry for this. I tried to reschedule."
"Nonsense" Fitz said with a finality to his voice " I will see you tonight for our date."
"That's sweet." Olivia looks between the two clearly seeing the love they have for one another
"Yes. She loves opera, she taught me how to play the piano and have a love for music. We are going to see. Eugene Onegin "
"That sounds wonderful. I'm sure Helen is excited about spending time with you."
"I am. Fitz hasn't been home in over a year so any time I have with him is always treat."
"Olivia, have you been to a play before?"
"No. I haven't."
"Alright, its settle. You're coming tonight." Fitz says standing up with his dishes in hand.
"What? Fitz, no."
"Yeah. You'll love it, gets you out of the house. And you get to experience the emotion that comes with theatre."
"I'm not going."
"It's handled." Fitz says walking away
"Go ahead and go Olivia. The women can go to some theatre while the men can stay back and work." Jerry spits out
Fitz stops and turns to look at Jerry. "You had to get one final insult in." Fitz looks between Jerry and Daniel laughing and all Olivia could do is look at Daniel with such anger in her eyes at him enjoying watching his brother be picked on.
"Plays are for women, Fitzgerald. You need to be a man and work."
"That's the problem, I'm comfortable in my sexuality and I'm secure in my masculinity. Your wrong though, women are strong. Stronger than the both of you. Besides if you want to see just how manly I am we could always fight; we both know I win every time." He walks away to the pool house effectively shutting up both Daniel and Jerry.
And raising the question of family violence.
With Helen gone and Jerry waiting in the car, Daniel stands by the door entrance looking at Olivia. Her body language is cold, distant.
"You're mad." He examines
"I am."
"What did I do this time." Daniels says exasperatedly
"Why do you always have to pick on your brother?"
"Here we go. I have another Helen."
"No, what you have is a concerned girlfriend who doesn't like this animosity between two siblings."
"Fitz makes me look bad no matter what I do. You see this is why I don't talk about him."
"You make yourself look bad."
"What did I do wrong."
"Him taking his mother to the theater, you could defend him when Jerry talks about him but you laugh and condone it."
"Why are you worried about him?"
And she freezes at the statement, she's currently more concerned about him than what would be appropriate.
"The question is, why aren't you?" Olivia asked effectively silencing any suspensions.
Time is moving slow. The clock has managed to stay still since Daniel left. There are a million things in this house to do yet Olivia can't seem to find the energy or desire to do any of them. She's stuck.
This mansion contains a bowling alley, an outdoor and indoor swimming pool, a movie theater and even a tennis court but none of those items seem remotely as interesting as the man outside working in the garage doing God knows what.
She opens the blinds and finds him inside walking around, what exactly is he doing, she doesn't know. It's unbearable what has happened in a matter of a couple of weeks. Her eyes are constantly glued on him and he has no idea what exactly he is putting her through.
She walks away from the window, flopping on the bed.
She's done pursing him. Time and time again she has come to him and not once has he ever came to see her. Does he even like her or is she the only one finding this predicament intolerable.
A knock.
"Hi"
"Hi" Olivia says surprised that Fitz would be at her bedroom door.
"I'm going to an auto shop to buy me a timing belt for my truck before the rain comes and I wanted to know if you wanted to go."
"Yeah."
"Great. I'll let you get your belongings and see you outside."
"Okay."
She counts to three taking a deep breath with each count before opening the door and finding him outside leaning on a 1998 chevy Silverado truck.
"Wow" Olivia exclaims as Fitz opens the door for her, not expecting them to be riding in this car when there are several expensive new cars lined up in the garage.
"This truck is my baby." Fitz said hopping in. "and I don't like driving Jerry's cars."
"That's understandable." Olivia expresses knowing and seeing how vindictive Jerry truly is.
The radio softly bellows out a tune but neither of them are thinking of music now. It's awkward. Neither of them willing or wanting to bring up what is brewing between them or the stolen moment they shared.
"Umm. Thank you for coming Olivia."
"Thanks for inviting me. I'm surprised you did."
"Why?"
Olivia shrugs "you never actually seek me out so at times I wonder if I'm bothering you."
"I'm very limited in where I can go in that house."
Olivia looks at him hurt and shocked.
"I'm not denied entry into the house but I can't exactly go up to the bedroom you share with my brother without anyone seeing me and wondering what exactly am I doing."
"So you don't look for – "
"No, I always look for you." Fitz said cutting Olivia off "But there is difference between looking and doing."
Olivia smiles softly to herself pleased with his answer.
"How can I find you when you are heavily guarded?" Fitz asked Olivia
"Did you know I would go to you?"
"Not at all, but I hoped that I would see you again where we could just be ourselves."
Olivia becomes silent.
"You felt, your feelings for me were singular." Fitz states as he keeps his eyes on the road.
"I don't have feelings for you." Olivia says with her arms folded causing Fitz to finally turn and look at her.
"You are a terrible liar."
"I don't."
"Then why were you worried about me not coming to you?"
"I didn't want to be annoying that's all."
"You are not annoying." Fitz says stopping at the red light to look at Olivia.
"Don't look at me." Olivia says with an attempt to be mad but it was fruitless
"Afraid?"
"You should be afraid."
"Why's that?"
"Because you can't have me."
"You can't have me." Fitz says looking at Olivia "nobody can have me."
"I don't want you." Olivia says looking back at Fitz with as much coldness she could muster.
"Good."
"You do want me." Olivia exclaims with her eyes squinting to look at Fitz.
"Why?"
"Why?" Olivia asked
"Yeah, why would I want you." Fitz said
"I'm not selling myself so you could like me, I could have you on your knees." Olivia hisses moving closer to Fitz invading his personal space as she makes her point.
"There's my girl." Fitz said looking at curvature of Olivia's lips. She's been shy around him but finally she's showing that fire he knows she is dying to set a flame. "and I would gladly fall on my knees for you."
Olivia moves back. Confronted and exposed without even knowing. "What was the point of that?"
"To challenge you."
He pulls up to the auto shop. Putting the car in park, Olivia grabs his hand "do you like me Fitz?"
It's odd for her to ask but she needs some form of confirmation that they are in this together. Whatever sins and crimes they have committed it was due to this overflowing feeling radiating through.
"I liked you the minute I saw you, but like doesn't begin to define these growing feelings I am forming for you."
She's satisfied with his answer. Happy with the truth of his words and if she could talk she would say the same of him. That she looks for him more than she likes and adores him more than she could ever admit.
It's oddly normal and perfect spending time with Fitz in an auto shop looking for parts to his truck. She can't recall doing anything this normal or mundane yet she's loving every minute as they walk through aisles and aisles. Olivia stopping every few minutes curious about an item that Fitz begins to tell her about.
They could have been gone a long time ago, but it seems both were just enjoying the moment of being there, together.
They check out. And Fitz acknowledges the need for them to leave now before the rain comes.
"How do you know about trucks and automobiles?"
"Self-taught."
"Really?"
"Yeah" Fitz turns his head to gauge Olivia's reaction "You think Jerry taught me? Ha. This truck was my mother's so I had to take care of it and no one would take care of it the way I would so, I learned."
"Couldn't you take it to the shop?"
"Jerry, wanted me to forget about her and he hates this truck. So, he would never let me take it the shop nor would he pay for the maintenance. I was a teenager with no income so I fended for myself. Jerry thought he was hurting me but he just made me stronger."
Olivia's head falls in silence. How did Fitz come to be a part of this family, why do they treat him the way they do? And why is he so pure despite all the pain and suffering he has endured. Believe, Olivia is aware of the suffering and pain.
"You loved her, didn't you?" Olivia ask referring to his mother.
"I still do."
"I spoke to Daniel about him always picking on you."
"You didn't have to do that."
"Why doesn't he like you?"
"I can't speak for Daniel but I believe he feels that I stole his mother and that I enjoy being the topic of discussion and that I can't seem to let him have a moment to shine."
"What? Did you two play football and you won mvp?" Olivia jokes causing Fitz to laugh
"Something like that except we went to different schools."
"Why?"
"I got kicked out of our high school and I played Daniel in the semifinals on opposite teams. My team won."
"Were you the mvp?"
"No." Fitz laughs "just a regularly jock."
"There is nothing regular about you." And once again Olivia bites her lip with mortification as she turns to look at the deserted street as the rain begins to hit the truck harder.
"Cheerleader?"
"Swim captain." Olivia answers
"Nice. Fitting. Very you. I would have joined the swim team if it meant I could see you." Fitz says softly as they turn into the gate with the rain now falling faster and harder.
"It's coming down pretty bad now." Fitz says a little louder for Olivia to hear with the thunder and lightning highlighting the sky.
"Shit."
"What?" Olivia jumps with panic
"My battery died." Fitz looks down as the engines crooks to start. "shit!" Fitz cusses with frustration "I thought I had time to change the fucking timing belt."
"What does the timing belt do?"
"It controls the opening and closing of the engine valves which ignites the engine to start. Fuck" Fitz yells with frustration as he looks directly at the house.
"Let's just go inside and wait for Daniel and your father to come and help."
"They won't help and I have to get it put inside and start working on it."
"Fitz, it's storming out here. It's not safe."
"I have to do it. I can't leave my truck out here."
"Fitz, it will be okay. You won't be okay if you don't come inside. It's in the gate. It's a few feet from the garage. It will be alright."
Fitz looks to Olivia and nods his head. "You're right." Hitting the garage button, the garage begins to roar to life as Olivia looks between the two confused.
"Run inside. I'm going to switch it to neutral and push it in the garage. It's only ten feet give or take."
"No."
Turning to Olivia he looks at her and he sees all the life and beauty she possesses but it's what's underneath that truly has him mesmerized. Her eyes are the clear picture into her soul. She's worried about him and that thought alone touched him more than it possibly should.
"Olivia, you are going to get sick so help me by running into the garage."
"I'm not going." Olivia folds her arms in protest.
"I need you to. This rain isn't letting up."
"Why can't you just let this be?" Olivia asked frustrated with his need to always be in control.
"This was my mom's." Fitz says exhaustedly "This is one of the few things I have that was hers…what kind of man would I be to leave this out here and let her get damged."
"Fitz…"
"Please go inside."
"Let me help you." Olivia pleads as she moves closer to Fitz
"This is how you help me." Taking his jacket off he hands it to Olivia to put on "go!" He yells jumping out of the truck into the pouring rain.
She's frozen. She sees him outside pulling up the hood of the truck as though the cold rain wasn't touching him.
She jumps out "Fitz push the truck!" Olivia yells with Fitz's jacket on keeping her sheltered from the storm.
"I'm going to see if I can fix it!" Fitz yells with the wind and rain covering his voice
"No!" Olivia moves closer to him pushing him back "you said you would push it in."
"Go inside!" Fitz yells
"Push it Fitz or I'm staying!"
His eyes grow hard as he stares at Olivia for challenging him and without a word he closes the hood of the truck and begins to slowly start to pushing the truck.
"Get inside" Fitz yells and Olivia does what she promised. She runs quickly into the safe area of the garage, breathing heavily as she struggles to catch her breath. Her lips are chattering from the cold and her adrenaline is rushing to her heart, she can't think straight.
She feels hopeless watching him struggle to push his truck inside safely. The ground is too slippery but he's moving the truck ever so slowly. Her heart is beating inside her ear as she watches him. She wants to go out there and help him but he doesn't want it.
Is it fair that she stays warm and dry and leave him out in the freezing cold? His teeth are chattering and she can see the bulging in his arms as he pushes the truck with everything he has. Everyone has left him; would she be the next person?
She runs out to him and he doesn't even notice her until she's standing in front of him.
"Olivia" Fitz says out of breath "what are you doing? Go back inside, you'll get a cold."
She shakes her head "I don't care."
"I do." He pleads "I don't want you getting sick."
"and I don't want you hurting yourself."
"I have to do this." Fitz says softly
"Then let's do it." Olivia says moving to the other side of the truck. Fitz looks at her stunned by her stance to help him despite him pleading with her to run.
"Are you going to stare at me all day, or can we start going."
With a smirk Fitz begins pushing the truck and with Olivia's help they manage to push it quicker than what he thought or assumed. The entire time they are pushing the truck all he can think about is Olivia. Having always been able to read people, Fitz learned their movement and actions and very seldom is he surprised by what people do but Olivia. Well, she is a person Fitz just hasn't been able to put his finger on.
Fitz learned a valuable lesson in that very moment. Don't ever underestimate Olivia Pope.
He's watching her with every bit of adoration and tenderness. Normally silent for his own doing, this time Fitz is moved to silence by this woman standing in front of him. Her face is flushed, she's heaving slightly out of breath, her once straight hair has turned to tight curls and for the love of God Fitz swears she has never looked as beautiful as she does right now.
Self-control is a state of being that Fitz felt he had control over. He knows he can't control the way people think and act but he always prided himself on controlling himself, but now at this very second he feels that even he is losing the battle. He made a vow to stay away and respect her relationship, and he's tried. He's tried so very hard to be honest and respectful but how can he when every time she enters a room she forces him to notice her and he does. He most certainly does. But he can't have her, and he won't take from her what she is not willing to give.
"Thank you Olivia for all your help. I'm sorry for how I acted. I don't receive help very often and at times I'm unsure how to accept someone's hand, I've been fending for myself for some time now that I begin to lose thought of what it means to-"
"Olivia?" He notices the space out look on her face, she hasn't heard a thing he said.
She walks towards him under the safety of the house protecting them from the raging storm. The rain, the wind, the lighting, these faded into oblivion. All she can hear; all she can feel is the beating of her heart.
She is at his mercy. She feels vulnerable because of him, like he carved her open and placed the light inside her where all she feels is buoyant with warmth surrounding her.
"Liv?" Fitz says with a gentle smile as though he's trying to wake her up from whatever dream she has fallen into.
She kisses him without thought, throwing caution to the wind she claims his lips as her own.
The first brush of her lips against his was gentle. But she wanted more, craved more of him. She strains upwards, meeting him midway, her mouth angles towards his, her tongue slipping past his lips to play with his.
They kiss slowly – almost wonderingly – but with a raw and unadulterated sense of urgency, their rain-soaked lips gliding over one another hungrily. Olivia's right hand has a firm grip on the back of Fitz's neck, her fingers tangled in those wet curls, while her left hand is between Fitz's glorious shoulder blades.
His lips are masterful as they skimmed across hers, his tongue is skilled and delectably wicked as it strokes against hers. Her senses are heightened, she can taste him on her tongue as she sucks for more. The kiss stretched on forever and she lost all perception of time and space. Her hands grow restless as her palms brush across his stubble face, exploring the base of his rugged jawline and the soft skin behind the shell of his ear.
Their lips separate as Fitz looks down at Olivia. "what took you so long?" he whispers in her ear causing her to chuckle softly.
"Sorry." She manages to whisper out
Fitz looks down at Olivia, taking note of her delicate features, her large brown doe eyes, her soft petal lips, and her face alone added a thousand years to his life.
"You are worth the wait."
Her eyes glisten as she looks up at him.
"And so are you." Olivia whispers gently.
Tenderly stroking her hair, he gazes down at her fondly, his thumb caressing her now swollen lips trembling at the touch. Her eyes are glistening with uncertainty about what they are about to commit, will he accept her.
Gently cupping her face, he joins their lips once again.
With the kiss of his lips, Fitz removed all uncertainties.
They're in this together.