I hope you all have a merry christmas and a happy new year! Consider this my gift to those who read my stories and have stood with me. Share with me your thoughts as they prove interesting with the story unfolding.

I appreciate you all more than you know, the messages, the reviews, the words of encouragement. I have grown quite the virtual village with you all! Thank you

Until Next Time...Muse xO

Bloodstone

X

"You are tiny." Fitz murmurs as he touches Olivia's fingers gently. They are curled facing one another on the couch. She's emotionally spent her body longing for sleep yet Olivia can't find herself to close her eyes. At least not with the way Fitz is looking at her right now. His gaze reverential.

"And you are big." Olivia quips softly a grin forming on her lips as the sentence could go in two different directions.

Fitz chuckles gently. his thumb tracing lazy patterns over the back of her hand. Olivia stills the moans threatening to disperse from her lips at the feel of his hand drawing absentmindedly on hers. She knows she should object and remove her hand from his, but with the turn of events that has ensued she felt deserving of this moment. They have most certainly earned it.

"Hmmm."

"What?" Olivia lifts her head up from his shoulder to look at him.

"This is an unusual ring." He places Olivia's hand on his lap as he examines the ring closely. The dark green mixing with sparks of red; the translucent quartz changes colors depending on the way light strikes it. "surprised I never truly noticed it before."

Without asking, Olivia slides the ring off her thumb and hands it to Fitz, lifting her legs on his lap as she moves closer to speak to him.

"This is called a bloodstone ring."

Looking at Olivia he looks back at the ring, finally able to admire it closely.

"It's beautiful."

"It belonged to my father."

"Is he dead?" Fitz asked turning to look at Olivia noticing the past tense of word.

Olivia shakes her head "he might as well be."

Fitz looks down at Olivia gaging her reaction but deciding not to say anything.

"I think I formed this bond with you instantly because I saw how sad your eyes are, they mirror mine." Olivia whispers to Fitz as she looks ahead at the fireplace.

Fitz turns his body towards Olivia, giving her his undivided attention.

"I lost my mother when I was twelve in a plane crash." She wipes the tears falling freely from her face as she recalls the most difficult part of her life.

"That was when my life ended. My childhood. My happiness. My dad grew to resent me so I was shipped to boarding school."

There were tears welling up in her eyes, a sob threatening, it's evidently clear to see in the tremble of her lips and throat that she's struggling to keep it all together. Old wounds she thought had been longed healed.

"I've had a lonely life. Not a bad one…. just lonely."

He swallowed, looking down. "You don't have to be alone anymore." He said quietly "I lost my mother when I was eight in a car accident. I survived. She didn't."

"The scar." Olivia says aloud remembering already every scar and freckle on Fitz's body that was exposed.

"Yeah." Fitz says moving closer towards Olivia so she could see it clearer "a drunk driver was driving on the wrong side of the road and hit us head on, causing my mother to lose control and run our car into a median. She died instantly. A piece of a metal from the collision penetrated my chest, an inch closer and it would have pierced my heart and killed me." He points to the fainted scar on his chest and without thinking Olivia touches it gently as the wound is fresh and in many ways, it still is.

Olivia stirs a little "how do you live with it?"

"Same way you do. My scar is literal. It reminds me every day that I live and she doesn't and at times it would drive me insane but then…I remember that if she hadn't then I wouldn't be here…even in death she protected me…just like your mother is protecting you."

Olivia sniffles quietly. She hates crying, she never cries especially in front of people, but here she is pouring her heart out to a stranger asking that he see through her imperfections and find someone worthy of happiness and stability.

Olivia is unsure how the tears came to fall. Perhaps she had held it all in and only now, now that he had laid himself bare and been honest with her, as she had wanted all along...perhaps it was only now that the tears could find some release.

But still she said nothing, and Fitz felt still some barrier, some wall between them that meant he could not reach out to her, as he wanted – to hold her, to wipe the tears from her eyes and kiss her as he wanted. Not passionately, not with lust. He wanted to hold her tenderly, to kiss her gently, to try to show her that it is possible for them. To show her that he truly values her worth as a person, and that he wishes to know all that he can about her, for better or for worse. He is positively and one hundred percent smitten with Olivia Pope. For if ever there was a woman deserving of being loved, of being cherished, it was surely Olivia.

"You really are something, lover boy." she said, speaking just as quietly as he had. The rain outside was nearly loud enough to drown them both out.

Fitz said nothing smiling softly at Olivia's words; amazing that how a word that once seemed like an insult now is the biggest compliment. He plays once again with the bloodstone ring on Olivia's thumb.

"My mother bought this ring in Italy for my father as a birthday gift; this was one of them few items we were able to salvage from the plane crash."

"It explains why your father doesn't want it."

"Yeah, he threw it away but I couldn't…this was one of the last things we have of her."

Fitz chuckles softly as he takes off his necklace handing Olivia the ring connected to it.

"This is my great grandmother's ring, it's very old, rare. She wore this at her debutant ball; it even has a name; 'Deux Bebe' . This was a gift from her father that was passed down from generation to generation, my mother was the last one to have it. She adored this ring…and now I keep it close to my heart."

Olivia examines the ring closely. Loving the gracefulness of the ring, the bands merging together to create one final loop.

"It's beautiful."

"As are you."

Olivia stared at him for a long moment. There was still wetness glimmering in her eyes, and one damp trail down her cheek. He longed to dry her eyes, to kiss away the tear that had fallen, but he didn't dare.

"Please don't do this to me." Olivia whispers painfully.

"I'm not trying to." Fitz promises "but somehow I can't seem to stop myself from looking at you, and I've tried and I've failed and I tried again but…"

"But what?"

"When the heart speaks, it speaks."

Olivia gazes at Fitz, deciding whether to continue this sinful moment or simply slip away. Olivia looks up and was completely arrested by the blueness of his eyes. The unprejudiced look etched on his perfect face, the slight pout of his lips as he looks down at her as though she hung the moon and the stars.

He waits for Olivia to respond but she never does. He shakes his head slightly, disappointed though he has no right to expect her to choose otherwise. He walks over to the island and separates himself from Olivia, knowing they both need space from one another.

Olivia flinches at the lack of contact, the cold breeze that crept over her arm and legs at the absence of his warmth.

Her eyes stay attached to him, waiting for him to return to her but he didn't.

"Fitz?"

He jumps at the sound of her voice coming from behind. Evident goosebumps begin to form on his bare chest.

"Hey."

"What are you doing?"

"I was cutting some cake." He says turning around with two slices of cake on a plate and audibly Olivia breaths out a sigh of relief.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." Olivia smiles thankfully "I'm great now."

Olivia sits a little closer to Fitz as they eat on the island, close enough that their knees touch, and occasionally they elbow one another by accident yet neither attempt to move away from the other. Fitz looks at Olivia as she closes her eyes and whispers her prayers before eating.

"Hmmm."

"What?" Olivia asked looking up at Fitz as she took a bite out of her food.

"You pray before you eat."

"I do."

"I didn't notice this."

"That's because you were busy avoiding me." Olivia jokes "you were never sitting when we first start to eat."

"Can you blame me?" Fitz says turning to Olivia.

"No." and she's being honest. How can she blame Fitz, she's the one in the relationship? She is the one playing games with two men's heart, brothers to be exact and worse of all she can't decide what to do with her current dilemma with Fitzgerald Grant.

"I apologize, I never took you as the religious type."

"I don't go to church or anything like that but I believe in god and I pray every night."

"Who do you pray for?"

Olivia shrugs her shoulders. "general stuff. Those I love and those I hate. I pray for a better tomorrow.. I pray for those struggling with life."

"That sounds anything but general to me."

Olivia turns to look at Fitz and curses herself silently for doing so.

"Do you believe in God?"

Fitz takes a bite out of his cake before responding "I do. Unlike my republican family who preaches of faith and Christianity, I actually do pray and believe in God."

"And what do you pray for?"

"I pray for my family and friends, and I pray for those who I have wronged. And I pray for my mother even though I know she is in a much better place than here."

Olivia shifted a little, let out a deep breath that was not quite a sigh, but Fitz dared not look across at her. He forced himself not to further punish himself by seeing if she seemed saddened, angry, or annoyed by his constant talk of the past.

Unable to stand the silence of the room with the only sound being the fire wood crackling, he looks at Olivia. she is pale, and exhausted, it seems up to that moment she remained untouched but its evidently clear all her pain is searing on her perfect face.

Instead he gave a gentle tug to her hand, to urge her to come back to the present with him. Fitz altered his hold on her hand a little, so he could brush his thumb against her pulse. Olivia closed her eyes, as if in response to his touch, and Fitz swallows hard and begins to take his hand from hers only to feel her grip tighten as she gently shakes her head 'no', and so he keeps it still. His hand sheltering over hers to keep her warm.

"I'm confused, Fitz." Olivia looks up at him and Fitz met her gaze.

"I know."

"I have to go back to my life and pretend that we never met and how do I do that?"

Olivia never actually expected Fitz to answer her question but that question does weigh heavily on her, when she returns to the real world will she continue to see Fitz, would he like to continue to see her? Can she live with herself for committing adultery and worse ruining a brothers already fragile relationship?

"Let's pray."

She turns to him bewildered "what?"

"Come on." Sliding off the stool with Olivia's hand in his, they walk to the couch and there Fitz falls on his knee with Olivia staring at him before she too falls on her knees as well. Olivia's lower lip began to tremble again, just a little. Tears threatened her once more. Fitz finds himself withering under her spell, he can't stand seeing her cry; it tore at him, like broken glass ground into his heart. He reaches for her hand.

She took his hand and holds it gently inside hers.

Hope settled upon Fitz like a flame ignited by a match, most certainly a burden, but one he was glad to take. This engagement could still turn sour, there is still much that remained unsaid, but she had taken his hand, and that gave him more hope than such a simple gesture had any right to give him. He expelled a breath, full of relief, and Olivia's lower lip trembled again as she fought against her own better judgement, still Another fell. Just one more, down her right cheek, to match the one on her left. Fitz doesn't comment on it.

Instead his head lowers and he begins to whisper precious words too heavy to be heard aloud. But Olivia feels the weight of his words, of his careful hand holding hers, how despite the coldness of the weather a ray of warmth envelopes her as they connect in ways that leave her breathless and spellbound.

Olivia is not foolish enough to deceive herself into thinking Fitz's actions are not deliberate. This untraditional courtship has begun to blossom in way that even Olivia cannot seem to make wilt even with her attempts. What once was a subtle exchange of glances and words has formed into a beautiful tryst that Olivia must let herself be open to.

How long do they have before the world crashing down and they will be parted forever?

Fitz catches Olivia looking at him from time to time as they pray, and he suspect that her look is far more telling than what she wants perceived.

Freedom, is temporary. And with reckless abandonment Olivia gently disentangled her hands from his.

"Olivia?"

Without a word Olivia moves herself between Fitz and the couch, deliberately sitting on his lap in the process.

Her eyes fixed on his, refusing to look away, even though her face flamed.

His hand reached out and cupped her cheek. Her eyes closed for a minute, leaning into his touch. Gently, he moved forward until their faces were close, their breath intermingling

"are you sure?" he said, his voice rough, his breathing elevated. Her own had risen, her chest expanding and contracting with anticipation and desire. Her head fairly swam with it, her entire body fizzing with tension.

Olivia raises her hand. a thrill passing through her as she caressed his face, her fingers sliding into his hair. She watched his eyes close as if he was in pain and she savored the sway she had over him.

"I would rather spend a night with you and suffer the consequences versus never being with you in the first place."

"Are you okay with that?" Olivia whispers making sure consent is given for both parties before continuing.

"Completely."

One sweet memory was all she had. One moment to soothe her throughout the years to come. One day to feel completion and exuberant joy.

Her lips crush to his and Fitz opens to her willingly. The kiss was not gentle, it was passionate, yearningly painful, thrilling. Arching into him, his hands grazed her breasts and she broke apart, gasping for air as she moaned.

Olivia led Fitz to his bed, she allowed him to pull her flush against his body.

They fell back onto the bed, her hair falling on the grey pillow. Fitz hovered above her, lips warm and soft against hers. She let out a small sound against him, and reached up to tangle a hand in his hair. His movements were slow, cautious, as if he still expected her to change her mind. But Olivia did not object and her hands and eyes told him so.

"I don't know what I'm doing," she admitted quietly.

Fitz chuckled, before leaning down to kiss her worries away.

"Whatever we want." his voice a soft timbre. She nodded breathlessly, letting him lead her in this as he had in everything else. His lips were soft against the skin of her neck as he kissed down it, the gentle scratch of his stubble eliciting shaky gasps from her. She wanted more. She wanted him to touch her, and to never stop, even if she were to yell or scream in pleasure, she wishes to be completely and utterly arrested under his spell.

The passion between them was uncontrollable, stronger than she could ever have imagined. Lips, she had once turned from she now pressed against, demanding more, giving in equal measures.

They were both still fully clothed, but she could feel the hardness of his muscle beneath the fabric of his sweatpants.

His kiss takes her breath away, kissing her with such searing intensity, her legs wrapped tightly around him.

"Fitz-" Olivia whimpers in between kissing him ravenously. She was coming undone; her core began rocking in rhythm with his hips enjoying the painful bliss of their movements merging into one.

Murmurs of praise fell past her swollen lips, the heat that was coiling deep within her fast becoming a need for something more.

Olivia's arms wrap around his neck, one hand fisting in his hair. The passion between them is irrepressible, sounder than she could ever have imagined. Lips, she never thought she would touch are now pressed against hers, demanding more of him, and giving in equal measures.

"Fitz" Olivia moans spreading her thighs apart to accommodate his bulk. She finds herself reaching up from the bed and kissing the faint scar on his chest.

He freezes above her at the tender gesture, the intoxicating embrace of her presence has left Fitz speechless and irretrievable to this minute that will last indefinitely in his soul.

Fitz is completely impeded to this moment; this memory. Until the feel of her warm flattened palm rubs over his bare chest feeling his heart thud beneath her hands. Exploratory touches revealed his toned, defined stomach and strong thighs.

Without a word, he slides off Olivia and unto his side, a hand moving from her cheek to her breasts. She sucked in a breath, arching into his imperturbable touch.

A soft gasp was all she was capable of.

With only whispers and pants shared between the two, neither of them heard the knock on the door.

"What was that?" Olivia whispers to Fitz with swollen lips.

Before Fitz could answer the knock returns, sharp, purposeful, and Fitz knows who it is before he can move.

There utopia has come to a dramatic end, what once felt real now suddenly feels like a nightmare as Olivia stares at Fitz with fear in her eyes. It's as though a large glass of cold water splashed on her and it's only now with the incessant knocking on the door that Olivia has awoken from her dream.

"Go in the restroom." Fitz says solemnly and without a word Olivia runs into the bathroom, locking herself and praying that Daniel didn't hear them.

"I'm coming!" Fitz yells

"What's up?" Fitz says opening the door just enough for his head to poke out and look at his brother with his impeccable suit and gelled back hair.

"Have you seen, Olivia?" Daniel asked worried

"No. Why?"

"I got off early and I wanted to spend time with her and I can't find her."

"Have you looked everywhere? That is a mansion." Fitz says

"I guess you're right." Daniel says dejected "did you have company?" Daniel asked referring to the two cups and plates on the island.

"Yes, I did."

"Sarah?" Daniel asked

"Yup."

"She's the one for you, she's been in love with you since we were kids."

Fitz says nothing but nods his head.

"Where's Jerry?"

"Oh he stayed behind at work, I missed Liv…and I've been feeling this space growing between us so I came to spend my day with her."

Guilt. That's all he feels. Utter guilt.

"Go find her." Fitz says softly "if I see her, I'll let you know."

"Thanks Fitz."

With the door closed, Fitz doesn't even bother turning around and facing Olivia. The glaring look of contempt and shame written clearly on her face.

Fitz knew she was gone. That was all it took, just one knock on the door and all the sacred memories they created dissipated in a matter of minutes. What once felt like a possibility now feels like an impossibility to achieve.

"You have to go." Fitz said finally turning around to face a now dried Olivia who left his clothes neatly on the bed they once occupied.

She falters a little, unable to look him in the eye "He's waiting for me."

Fitz nods his head, his arms folding tightly around his chest to protect him but even he knows that was fruitless.

"I'll see you tonight."

"What?"

"Tonight. The opera, you are coming with me and my mother. I bought tickets." There was a sense of hope registered in his voice, a hopeful promise of the future.

"I can't go." Olivia murmurs all while looking down at her feet.

"Why?"

Her head rises at the question "did you forget what just happened?" Olivia asked incredulously

"I didn't forget." Fitz responds back with equal convection as Olivia.

"Daniel, was outside the door while I was in bed with his brother doing something we should have never done in the first place."

"Olivia…"

"No, don't you see? That was an intervention. I was about to make a mistake that would have haunted me for the rest of my life. Daniel, doesn't deserve that, he doesn't deserve what I have been doing to him."

Fitz swallowed his deserved disappointment.

"That's it."

"What else can there be?" Olivia asked finally looking at his piercing blue eyes that made her get lost in translation.

"I'm with Daniel and I have to focus on him and our relationship." Olivia shifted slightly under Fitz's stare, he's seeing right through her.

"You got what you wanted from me."

"You got what you wanted from me!" Olivia hisses moving towards Fitz "I had my hand down your pants and I was pleasing you and I liked it…what does that say about me? You were touching me, your brother's girlfriend what does that say about you?"

Fitz kept his head bowed, his eyes lowered. Shame.

"Okay, this never happened."

For a moment, he did not think Olivia would reply. "What?"

Fitz glanced down and was imprisoned by her caramel eyes rendering him paralyzed.

"You go your way and I go mine. You two have been dating for a year, I can't compete. He's my brother and this is wrong. We'll pretend this never happened. You love Daniel and I should do the right thing. Right?"

Olivia's lower lip began to tremble, and she forced herself not to look at him and have him witness her pain.

With a breath, Olivia looks up at Fitz, determined.

"Right" There was agony in her voice, but Fitz couldn't hear it and she couldn't see his.

"Okay." Fitz said glancing down at Olivia.

"Okay. Olivia whispers walking past Fitz towards the door.

He doesn't want her to leave. Maybe he's imagining it because he wants her to stay so badly, but he sees that exact thought mirrored on her face.

"Go to the barn. I'll call Daniel and tell him I found you for him."

Olivia freezes wanting but with a second she walks out and never looks back.

/

The vibrant house that once felt warm now feels cold, distant. She swallows her glass of wine, trying desperately to forget what happened before she left. Despite the tension between them since she left, she thought they would at least go back to being friendly yet everything about him felt emotionless, aloof.

It surprised her more than it hurt her but she supposes that is what you would do with unfamiliar face coming into a familiar setting.

Sarah.

Granted they ended their relationship before it could truly start, it most certainly stung to see him immediately rebound with the next girl in line. Was she only just a tool in his box? Certainly, he did not care for her because if he did then he would not have brought her here. He would not invalidate their bond by touching another women's hand when less than five hours ago she was the one placing his hand on her chest.

She chastises herself for even thinking she has a right. They agreed to move on and pretend they never happened, but was Fitz pretending or does she not matter to him the way he means to her.

The women exchange glances before speaking to each other. Both not entirely comfortable around the other, the palpable tension between Olivia and Sarah stewed as Daniel stood beside Olivia and began a conversation with Sarah much to Olivia's delight.

Fitz wasn't in the main house yet and Olivia was grateful.

"Nice seeing you again."

"Same."

"I would have thought you were tired of Fitz." Daniel jokes

A beat passes. And Olivia swears they can hear her heart begin to beat at the conversation and what it is referring to.

"I could never be tired of Fitz; your brother is pretty irresistible."

"So I've been told."

"Thank you for going with Fitz and Helen for me to the opera that was incredibly sweet."

"Oh? Were you going?" Sarah asked

Olivia has lost count of how many times she has been rendered speechless today; Fitz didn't even mention her and she knew Fitz wouldn't after all they are just acquaintances yet still she wanted her presences known that she was his first pick. That he picked her.

"I was going, I had never been to the opera so Fitz and Helen were taking me."

"Oh. Why didn't you go?"

Arms wrap around her tightly before she could answer, Daniel already did. "she's spending quality time with her boyfriend."

"Well, I'm happy you changed your mind." Sarah answers honestly her green eyes sparkling under the bright lights and immediately Olivia began to regret her decision once more.

The knife already lodged her womb twisted at the sight of Fitz walking into the entrance, looking spectacular. His brown mane looked mildly tamed, his black and white tux that they picked out together looks perfect on him, the scruff on his face that tickled Olivia while they kissed is flawlessly trimmed and his lips still appear slightly swollen from earlier.

Her eyes squint in detest at Fitz hugging Sarah, how her hand slides down his chest as she speaks to him.

"You two look as good as Olivia and I." Daniel says reverting the talk amongst them.

"Almost." Fitz says gently finally looking at Olivia but only for a second.

"You are handsome, Fitz."

"And you not bad yourself." Fitz responds in kind. Fitz would have to be blind not to see her beauty, her genuine interest in him. It felt good being someone's first pick.

"Make sure you tell me how it goes?" Olivia says wanting desperately for Fitz to look at her.

"No." Fitz says honestly

"Why not?" Olivia asked shocked but hurt

"You should have come." Fitz said realizing that his remark came across colder then he liked he explains. "describing something is not the same as experiencing it. I'm sure Daniel will make sure that all your needs are met, including going to the opera." Fitz spoke slowly, digesting the words he was saying as if hearing them for the first time.

Her eyes peered at his, unblinking, and silently sending a message that Fitz immediately understood.

"I always make sure; Olivia's needs are met." Daniel says hovering behind Olivia. No one need ask what Daniel was referring too.

Olivia pushes Daniel off slightly. "we have company." Olivia hisses to Daniel.

"Fitz and Sarah aren't company; they will be back at Fitz's before the night is over."

"Back?" Sarah asked

A cold sweat drops off Fitz.

"Look at that beautiful lady." Fitz says running over to Helen at the end of stairwell and effectively ending the conversation.

Helen hugs everyone but stops at Olivia, unable to hide her disappointment "I wish you had changed your mine and went with us." She holds Olivia's hands in hers "it would have been such a treat to spend time with you."

Olivia smiles sadly "I wish I had changed my mind as well but this won't be the last time you see me. Besides, Sarah and Fitz will keep you company."

Helen turns to look at Sarah and smiles politely "Yes, but she is certainly not you."

Something changed in Olivia, perhaps it was Helen's kindness or that she was literally watching him walk away from her and for the last time. She dotted on Daniel once he found her in the barn, she has been completely and utterly attentive to him and it was working up until this very moment.

She likes Helen, she admires her for a raising a child that wasn't hers, for staying in a relationship with someone as malevolent as Jerry, and she so deeply appreciates her for loving Fitz when he lost the most important person in his life.

Their lives were similar, her and Fitz. and had Helen not intervened they would be the same person; Fitz would have been shipped to boarding school and most likely to her boarding school. who knows maybe they would have found each other sooner. When she thinks about it, the idea of being with Fitz in boarding school doesn't seem all that terrible.

Fortunately, the group was none the wiser to what is currently happening. Fitz rolled his eyes at the conversation though not actually listening. There was a lightness around him so evocative of the essence she attributed to him. As he pulls back, his eyes took in their larger party and his smile dimmed somewhat as it landed on her. The group were exchanging goodbyes; For the first time in her life, words seemed to fail her. Should she smile broadly as she wished to, feign indifference or politely acknowledge his presence?

Her eyes found his and every bit of yearning stored there called out to him. As if an invisible string existed between them, they took cautious steps towards each other until he stood before her. If she reached out, she could touch his cheek, caress his hand or place her palm across his heart.

But the second was only truly that; a second.

Without so much as a glance, Fitz walks out the door.

We can't always get what we want.