As always Thank you for the kind messages, and reviews you have no idea how much they mean to me.I love reading the reviews and messages, it's very interesting to see how people connect to the characters, some have sympathy for Fitz and others find that his departure was an excuse. Please continue to leave your reviews and thoughts and Hope you all have a great weekend.
Song choice: Collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Howie Day- 'Collide'
Collide
X
A month past.
Fitz wasn't exactly sure how to describe how and where life was going. He would like to say that after watching Olivia that eventful day he would see her again but he did not. A comfortable peace seemed to envelope him after he saw her that last time, she was so happy and confident, the epitome of grace and beauty he could never interfere with this crucial moment in her life. she was working on the Sanders case; the high-profile football player who was unlawfully arrested by the Chicago Police for speeding. He's been following the case closely, and every time he would catch a glimpse of her on his TV he would stop and relish at the sight of her. The immense joy he felt watching her branch into this untouched territory of being a lawyer.
It was old news that the Grant and Doyle Firm wanted to expand their marketing profit to something more luxuriate and high profile, but it seems they have finally made good on their vision and Fitz could not think of a more perfectly suitable person to set the tone for being a lawyer and crisis manager.
Sitting at a coffee shop near his apartment, his attention turns to the TV.
There she was once again.
Dressed in tailored grey slacks covered by a matching grey coat personalized to fit her like a glove, she is positively glowing.
"Hey Fitz." A voice says sitting across from him but he doesn't respond.
He can't blink, his mouth parts open slightly as he is frozen to this moment in time, watching her standing beside her client yet granting him the platform to speak, she is a natural.
"Fitz." The hand moves in front of him to catch his attention but still he doesn't move.
It wasn't until she was off the camera that he returned to earth and saw that he had company.
"Oh, hey Stephen how long have you been here?"
"Fitz, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"What are you talking about?" Fitz asked
"You." Stephen lifts his hand to emphasize this sudden change in Fitz since he returned from visiting his parents.
"I'm fine." He shakes his head taking a sip of his coffee. "I can't stay long."
"Why is that?"
"I'm going to a job fair." Fitz said fixing his jacket wearing his black suit with a blue button down shirt, Fitz was completely out of his element yet there was this unusual peace brewing inside him. Though painful this moment has become inspiring, this pursuit to be better.
He hasn't had much luck with finding a stable job but every day he would go to work at an upscale restaurant on upper Manhattan, he supposes for someone with his background and money that the entire act of having to work and be normal would be detrimental yet he's found that his family's way of living to be more oppressing than anything else.
Through the handful of interviews, he had taken, they all questioned his sanity as to how and why a respectable attorney would want to work for them making a fourth of what he is worth, and every time he would respond that he was on a quest to accomplish a new dream of his.
"And what is that dream?" The interviewer asked.
"To be happy." He answers simply.
Fitz snaps out of the momentary reverie and focuses on Stephen who is clearly annoyed or worried about him.
"I'm fine, Stephen."
He eyes Fitz, though he looks the same there's an obvious difference to him, he's seems grandeur, calmer.
"Why the change?"
Fitz eyes the TV once again for a glimpse but she was gone.
"I met a girl."
"Okay and she's forcing you to grow up?"
Fitz shakes his head. "Not necessarily."
"Then fill me in, this girl must be an angel to make you look for jobs and stop from painting."
"She is an angel." Fitz agrees "But she never asked me to do this, I choose too."
"Why?"
"Because I want to be with her and I know…I know that she is deserving of a man who's able and capable of all that she wants."
"What is she like?"
A smile appears on his face as he talks about her. "She's smart, Stephen, brilliant. She's warm and inviting, tender yet stern. Beautiful as she is gracious. I haven't known her for a long period but I am completely smitten with her."
"How did it happen?" Stephen asked clearly shocked by his reserved friend experiencing what he believes to be love though Fitz denies the claim. He's completely shocked that his best friend and most quiet at that has fallen for someone and with that wants more for himself.
"I'm not sure it ever simply happened." Fitz explains "I believe we were walking on separate roads that just happened to merge together at the most serendipitous time. A collision. Her world collided with mine and my world soon became hers and from there we purely moved together."
"Where did you meet her?"
Fitz rubs his head nervously "that's the thing. She's my brother's girl."
Stephen stares at Fitz incredulously, laughing loudly to compensate for his obvious discomfort.
"Please tell me you are joking?"
"Afraid I'm not."
"You can't be serious." Stephen laughs again but stops at Fitz's serious face.
"Are you mad?"
Fitz smirks before biting his lip at the question. "Quite possibly." He laughs
"What the hell are you doing, Fitz?" Stephen asked seriously once the laughter subsided
"I'm trying to get my life together." Fitz answers honestly "I left her that day at my parents with Daniel and I've been telling myself it was for the best."
"Do you believe it?"
"I do." Fitz answers honestly "She said she wanted to be with me and in the same breath she said she was worried about leaving him. She wasn't certain about us or me and I didn't blame her. She didn't want to choose between the two of us so I made the decision to leave."
"She said she wanted you?"
"Yes," Fitz nods his head "but I wanted her to be sure she wanted to be with me and I think it was the right decision to make. I don't want her second guessing whether she made the right decision, I want her to know. To believe in me and the possibility of us."
"What if she's happy with Daniel and she never comes back? You made all these changes for someone who might not chose you in the end. Are you okay with that?"
He's thought of that question for some time, what if Olivia regrets sleeping with him and wished they never met? What if she decides to stay with Daniel? What if she never wants to see him again? What if he ruined his one chance?
"I think she is deserving of happiness and if Daniel makes her happy then I am happy. And yes, I am okay with the changes I made, they weren't for her…they were for me…and who knows maybe not the next girl I meet but the girl after her, maybe she might be my wife? She's given me something to look forward too and that doesn't necessarily mean her."
"Fair enough. But for whatever it is worth I hope you too find each other again."
Fitz smiles kindly at the words. "Me too." Fitz agrees.
"I'm surprised you are on board with this so easily."
"Well, I've never liked Daniel." Stephen jokes though he was telling the truth, Daniel always felt like a weasel too him. Modest yet sneaky.
"By the way, what's her name?"
"Oh I'll never tell."
"You know I can look it up, right?"
"You can but I would hope that you don't."
"Okay. But can you help me out?"
"Alright." Fitz agrees
"You didn't even let me tell you before you agreed." Stephen laughs
"Well, considering how much you have helped and supported me, it's the least I can do finally." And it's true. With Stephen working at one of the largest advertisement companies, and Fitz being his best friend since high school, Fitz has been on the receiving end of the perks. Often, Stephen's clients ended up being his biggest sellers as Stephen holds many of his paintings and portraits in his office and the building. Many times, he would stay at Stephen's home and with their friendship he had found the sincerity of a true brother's love. Stephen is more of a brother to him than Daniel would ever be, someone he could never repay but forever in debt to for his hospitality and friendship. Without a doubt he would remove his shirt and give it to Stephen if he needed it.
"I'm dating a girl; her name is Abby. I met her at a club and we instantly had a connection. We've been dating for a month and she said she has a friend who just got out of a long-term relationship who she wants to take out…I told her I had a single friend…."
Fitz looks at Stephen shaking his head before laughing "You've got to be kidding me."
"Double dates are fun." Stephen tries to lighten up the room.
"Says who? I'm not trying to date anyone."
"You don't have to sleep with her. It's just a date, someone to get you out of the house and talk too. The girl isn't looking for anything serious either but who knows…she might not be the girl you want right now but she may be what you need."
Fitz absorbs Stephen's words perhaps he's right; maybe he should take a chance.
"Okay." Fitz agrees before getting up and walking out of the coffee shop.
/
With a name tag on his shirt and stuck in line with over fifty people, Fitz takes the moment in and waits for his time to walk in the room with his resume and a smile. Growing up privileged and white, there's a lot of life that he hasn't experienced or felt. How fortunate he was to be blessed with this time and how honored he is to stand in a room with people who are hungry and wanting to provide and make a living. A part of him second guesses on whether he should be here and take away a job that someone else needs more than him.
"Are you nervous?"
He turns around and smiles at the young African American girl wearing a grey penciled skirt and black blouse.
"I am." Fitz fidgets with his feet. "You?"
"Very. I just got my degree and I haven't been lucky enough to find a job in my field. They want the degree but they want experience with it." She rolls her eyes.
"What's your degree in?" Fitz asked turning to look at the woman closely
"Marketing. I went to NYU and graduated with honors." She hands Fitz one of her many resumes neatly laminated.
"And yet you are here." Fitz said dejectedly
"We have to start, somewhere right?"
Fitz eyes her warmly before looking down at her resume once again, she is clearly accomplished with only being twenty years old and having already received her degree.
"What's your name?"
"Nicole." She pulls her hand out to shake his.
"Fitz." He shakes her hand warmly. "Nicole, do you mind if I keep a copy of your resume?"
"Not at all. I have over fifteen copies." She jokes but then she stops suddenly "may I ask why you want my resume?"
"Of course you can." Fitz answers honestly "I know a person who I believe can help you find a job that is appropriate for a brilliant mind like yours."
Closing her eyes, Nicole tried not to cry, carefully she pats away the tears that threatened but then she opened her eyes and saw the kind stranger looking over her resume once again. Nicole decided to let the tears flow freely down her cheek, she knows she should be concerned but she's not in the slightest.
"Mister, are you a part of undercover boss?"
Fitz laughs loudly, perhaps the first real laugh he's had since he left her.
"No." Fitz shakes his head still recovering from the laugh.
"Then why are you helping me get a job when you could take it?"
"Because the job wasn't for me." Fitz said simply "and my degree isn't in marketing."
"What's your degree in?" Nicole asked as they moved up in the line
"I have my masters in political science with a second degree in legal studies with my J.D"
"What's that?"
"Juris Doctor."
"Are you a lawyer?"
"Not active."
"Why are you here!" Nicole asked more than shocked
"I'm looking for a job too." Fitz exclaims with joy trying to get Nicole to settle down.
"There's many jobs for lawyers, this is New York for crying out loud."
"That's the thing, I don't want to be a lawyer anymore."
"So you don't know what you want to do."
"Correct." Fitz shakes head in agreement "I'm hoping this will help me."
Nicole smiles kindly at Fitz "well, I think you're on the right track."
"Thanks Nicole." Fitz said with a smile before moving up in the line.
"Fitz?"
"Yeah?" he turns around
"Thank you." The sincerity in her voice, struck Fitz that all he could do was simply smile. If Stephen doesn't hire Nicole, then he would make some calls and take up some favors he was owed but one way or another he was going to help this bright girl achieve what she was meant to be.
Things are finally beginning to look up.
/
Eight o'clock came and Fitz was walking into the crowded restaurant wearing the same clothes he had on from the job fair that went better than he expected. The music was blasting and those dinning were drinking and conversing. He walks around the side of the restaurant and finds Stephen waving at him madly.
"Sorry, I'm late." Fitz apologized taking note of the group. Across from Stephen sat a pretty red head who he believes is Abby while next to her sat an equally beautiful young lady with auburn hair.
"That's okay." Stephen said giving him a hug.
"Fitz, this is Abby and Quinn."
The group exchanges pleasantries and begin talking amongst one another.
With dinner in front of them, Fitz is mostly quiet as he listens to Stephen and Abby talk. His date is rather shy herself he notices; she smiles at him from time to time but she's as uninterested as him.
"How did your job hunt go?" Stephen asked turning the attention to Fitz.
"You're looking for a job?" Quinn asked finally perking up
"I am." Fitz nods chewing his food carefully before he speaks. "It went great, no offers yet but I have a few bites…but I met someone there that I think you should hire on." Fitz said turning behind his chair to retrieve his bag and hand Stephen Nicole's resume.
"Who's this?" Stephen asked looking at the resume.
"A young girl I met in line at the job fair, we started talking and she's brilliant Stephen. Twenty years old and already graduated with honors in marketing, she's looking for a job but no one will hire her."
"Because she's young!" Stephen exclaimed
"But that doesn't diminish her mind!" Fitz retorts clearly passionate "she's a young African American girl and she's doing everything right in this world except the color of her skin. Why must we always praise others and instead of those who have worked twice as hard to have half of what we have? She deserves a chance and if you don't I will personally look into it!" Fitz snaps clearly frustrated with the system that uplifts white girls yet reduces those of color.
Abby and Quinn listen on clearly shocked yet moved by Fitz's kind heart.
"Okay, Fitz." Stephen pacifies him.
"I'm serious, Stephen hire her or I will make calls myself for her."
"I hear you, Fitz…" bending down Stephen looks at Fitz closely for a moment of privacy "are you sure you aren't fighting for this girl because she looks like her?"
Fitz freezes at the question shocked that Stephen knew about Olivia, knowing he never told him about her.
"How?"
"I saw the way you watched the TV." Stephen gives Fitz an apologetic smile.
Fitz doesn't respond, how can he.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Fitz nods his head. He wasn't doing this because of Olivia, he was trying to do the right thing and maybe because Olivia told him of her struggles growing up that he has a new appreciation for black women but he wanted to do the right thing, just once.
"Fitz, is a passionate man. Can you believe he's a Grant and still prefers looking for jobs like a normal person?" Stephen turns back to Abby and Quinn.
Abby's eyes grew twice in size at the confirmation she needed to say that Fitz was in fact Olivia's Fitz. When he walked into the restaurant she saw the resemblance to Daniel but still she wasn't certain until right now. Abby stares at Fitz with new found interest, she can see why her best friend is so smitten with him, he's kind but also unrestrained.
"Are you related to Daniel Grant?"
Taking a sip of water, he responds accordingly "Yes. He's my brother."
"I work for him; his girlfriend is my best friend; maybe you know her…Olivia Pope?" Abby knew she should have kept her mouth close but she was desperate to learn more about this man who unraveled her closest friend. And more importantly if he felt something for her or was he simply using her.
Olivia Pope.
The person who's been a constant fixture in his mind since the day they met. Between his brain and his heart, he never had a chance to breath, all he could afford was the ability to try and comprehend how much she has affected him.
"Yes, I know her." Fitz answers gently looking Abby in the eyes honestly, wanting her to see the truth but not all of it.
And she does.
"What do you think about her?" Abby asked pushing more than necessary.
"She's perfect." Fitz says honestly and she is. There is nothing about her that he would change, not even a misplaced hair.
A waitress arrives with Fitz's drink, she sets it down in front of him and with that time Abby was able to look at him closely. Though he resembles Daniel he's different, his actions, his mannerism. More than that she can see that he is as infatuated with Olivia as she is with him. She smiles to herself, that Olivia picked a good one though a dangerous one.
"Olivia, is our best friend. Have you spent a lot of time with her?" Quinn asked
"I have not unfortunately, but the time I've spent with her has been wonderful. She's a miraculous woman." Fitz takes a sip of his water, needing something to stop him from rambling.
"Fitz, why do you not work with your family at the firm?" Quinn asked bringing the conversation back.
"I want to be in control of my own life and live it how I choose too, I can't do that there."
"Daniel and Olivia are a secret couple at the job but I think he's going to be asking her to marry him soon." Abby said again watching the obvious smile fall from Fitz's face.
"He would be very lucky." Fitz answers calmly loosening the buttons on his shirt. His mood shifts with Abby's words ringing in his ear. He lost his appetite at the thought that at any second Olivia could be Daniel's wife. The nauseated feeling festering inside him at the thought of losing her before he ever had her.
"I'm sorry Quinn and everyone else, I'm afraid I have to leave."
"So soon?"
"I am not ready to date or anything of that nature, I'm still very much infatuated with a woman and she is in my head right now as we speak. I am sorry but I can't do this."
"Oh, no Fitz please don't apologize! I just broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago." Quinn lifts her hand in kind
"Do you love him?"
"What does love have to do with anything?"
"Everything. If you love him and he loves you then it's worth fighting for." Fitz says
"And what about you and your mystery girl, are you going to fight for her?" Quinn counters
"That's the thing... she was never mine to have." Fitz smiles sadly "but this guy was yours and still is. Work it out, don't let love pass you by."
"I will." Quinn promises
Watching all eyes on him, Fitz stands up from the table "I'm sorry for being late and ruining this wonderful double date. Abby, I hope to see you soon and same for you Quinn." Dropping a few bills on the table he walks out of the packed restaurant.
"Hey!" Stephen shouts running after him
"Hey, Stephen. I'm sorry about that."
"Don't worry about it. Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Fitz nods his head "I just need to clear my head. And I'm tired."
His mind is restless; he walks aimlessly in the pelting rain neither running nor trying to shield himself. He's could use a drink. It's the first time in over a year that he relishes the numbing taste of booze. Staring at a lone bar across the street he walks in. The soft rock music hums in the background.
The pub had an adequate crowd, the large bar stretched the entire left side of the building while tables and booths filled the space between.
Sitting at the bar he nursed a tumbler of scotch on the rocks. Fitz noticed people walking in as a group and some alone. One blonde hair girl attempted to ask him out but he kindly rejected wanting to be alone.
The bar door chimes and a group of women walk in laughing and conversing amongst themselves. He doesn't bother looking around but motions the bartender for another drink. The drinks were starting to catch up to him slowly but he doesn't mind.
The group of girls laugh loudly behind him and Fitz rolls his eyes in detest at the sound of college girls being idiotically drunk.
"So how was the double date?" Olivia asked excitedly
"What double date?" Quinn quipped
"He bailed!" Olivia asked shocked
"No, he showed up but he wasn't exactly interested in me."
"What an asshole." Olivia remarks "why show up then?"
"He was very nice though," Quinn says defending Fitz "he told me that he was still infatuated with a girl he met and that I should give Adam a second chance."
"Wow." Olivia was clearly impressed; she knew Quinn broke up with Adam out of anger and she's fortunate that someone else besides her friends told her about the importance of being in a relationship and sticking it out.
"He's a good guy, right Abby?"
"Olivia, would love him." Abby says sly
But before Olivia could respond she watches Quinn face light up in complete delight.
"That's him!" Quinn yells much too loudly "That's Fitz!" Quinn points to Fitz who was sitting at the bar with his back to them.
Wanting confirmation that this is in fact her Fitz, Olivia turns her chair swiftly to catch a look at the man but stopped short when she saw the brown wavy curls turning in her direction.
Fitz.
Her voice hitches at the name. Trepidation and excitement rush through her veins at the name that came from Quinn's mouth. Scared, nervous Olivia reaches for her glass of wine drinking the cup quickly before pouring herself another one to soothe her nerves.
She hears his feet hitting the pavement, growing louder with each step he makes, her back is facing him but both fortunately and unfortunately Olivia has the front row view of watching Abby and Quinn's obvious joy and acknowledgement of Fitz's presence.
Faintly beneath her vigorous heartbeat she can hear the exchange of pleasantries until finally all eyes land on her, waiting for her to turn around and acknowledge him.
Softly to herself, Olivia counts to three before turning her chair and finding Fitz's irrevocable tense stare. His gaze remains firm on her brown eyes, involuntarily peering inside her soul. Somehow all that time and anger being mad at him dissipates into thin air.
He stands up from his chair and walks to her slowly, tortuously deliberate giving her ample time to run or flee but she doesn't. He should turn around and let her be but he can't; The pull towards her is stronger than anything he ever felt before. Fitz felt his chest contract at her wide eye stare, his breath ceasing that she was here.
"Hi."
His voice is ethereal like a whisper but the pitch vibrates throughout the walls and lands softly on her warm skin. She can hear it in the sound of his voice, the deep baritone.
Her breath stutters as Olivia finds herself frozen in place by his piercing blue eyes.
"Hi"
And it begins.
Until Next Time...
Muse XoXo