{read slowly. line by line. this chapter is full of emotion that is missed if you don't take your time}

Chapter 22 forgiven

"Usagi, I don't deserve her!"

It was a loud whisper, but the words had the power of that of a loud speaker. In all my time with usagi, I've never seen him as mad as he was in this moment. More tears flooded my eyes as I gripped my wrist tighter. Usagis expression became more venomous.

I truly believe that in this moment, for the first time, usagi actually felt like punching me. Not that I blame him. I felt like punching myself for saying such a selfish thing, but none the less I believed what I said. I heard usagi sigh and sit next to me on the bed. He grabbed my wrist and made me look at him.

"Misaki, what do you mean you don't deserve her?"

I shifted my eyes so that I wasn't looking directly at usagi.

"i-I ruined her life before it even started! She is so fragile and small, I don't know if I should even touch her. I love her, but i don't feel like I deserve to. M-maybe it's just me repenting but I truly fear being near her."

Usagi took a breath and got up from the bed. He walked over to the incubator and looked kindly at our daughter.

"Misaki, you love her right? You said so yourself."

My eyes widened slightly.

"Y-yes, of course I do but-!"

"But you don't feel like you deserve to love her because of her situation right now, right? Well, if that's the case then make it up to her by making her life the best one you can make it. You are her daddy, and she's going to love you unconditionally. She's not going to remember this in the future, she's just going to know that she is alive and happy with her family. So let's not dwell on what could have happened to fix a mistake, let's concentrate on the future and how we can prevent a mistake. A mistake such as not giving your daughter the love and affection she needs because SOMEONE is dwelling in the past!"

Usagi looked at me carefully and sighed. It was clear as day that the rant made me feel worse than before. Usagi walked back over to me and brought me into a tight embrace.

"Misaki, I know it's hard to forgive yourself right now, but just remember that your daughter needs you and you can't just hold back your love for her because you feel you did her wrong."

Tears began to fall from my eyes once more. I was tired of crying. My eyes hurt, my head hurt, my heart hurt, but despite the pain, I felt at peace with myself in usagis embrace. I turned my head to the little figure in the clear case. She felt foreign to me at the time. Maybe it was because she was in a box and not in my arms. Maybe it was the fact that I was afraid to touch her, but whatever the reason, she didn't feel like she was mine.

"Usagi… her name..,"

"hmm, what's that?"

Usagi let go of me so that he could hear me clearly.

"Her name should be Chiyo, I've really grown a liking to that name. And besides, I named Izuru, so it's only fair that you get to name her." I looked closer at the figure behind the glass.

"And you said it yourself, if she looks like you, her name would be Chiyo right? Look at her, she looks exactly like you!"

As I continued to speak, I could see it in Usagi's eyes. He knew that the words I spoke were not my true feelings.

I was trying my best to force the situation to be joyful again, but I couldn't. My fake smile and happy words were blown away by Usagi's glare.

I stopped talking.

Usagi continued to stare, digging holes into me.

Why? Why must you always look right through me!? Just let me carry the pain!

You have no business carrying such a heavy load.

Usagi, he is a stubborn man who does whatever he wants. He even takes it upon himself to steal the pain I harbor. What a thief he is.

I opened my mouth to speak but Usagi beat me to it.

"Get some rest Misaki. I'll be back in a little while."

As Usagi turned his back to me I realized that I was going to be left alone with my problem… and that terrified me.

"Wait Usagi! W-where are you going?"

Usagi gave me a side glance.

"well, Izuru is probably wanting to come see you, so I'm going to pick him up. I'll be back."

With that Usagi walked out of the room, closing the door gently behind him.

I was alone now.

Her and I, together to sort out our- no, my problems.

I didn't know where to start. My thoughts were jumbled in a maze to find the correct solution.

I looked to the child behind the glass. She looked at me. She could not see me, but she knew I was there. So I decided to talk to her.

"Chiyo, I'm sorry love. Daddy did this to you, didn't he? I'm such a bad father aren't I? You must hate me… I know I hate myself right now. It's just that, all of this could have been prevented if I wasn't such a clumsy idiot! Daddy has no right to love you, but I just can't help loving you with all of my heart. Perhaps that's selfish of me."

I leaned on my side and placed a hand on the warm glass case. Chiyo surprisingly did the same, putting her hand close to the case as if to reach out to me.

In an instant, my mind was clear. My heart that had been so cold was warm now. In this moment, I had finally found my bond with her. She was reaching out to me as if to say that she forgave me.

This is what I needed. I needed her to say that I was forgiven. I needed that one little thing to forgive myself. This is because, if she's happy, then who am I to take that away? I might have caused her this pain, and I doubt I'll ever forgive myself for that, but if I can see that she forgives me, then perhaps I can concentrate on making up for it, for the rest of her life.

"I love you, my little snow bunny. And u will love you forever without fail."

A/n: I really want to hear everyone's analysis of this story so far. how has it changed? are there any plot holes? is there a deeper meaning to this? I want to know! by the way, now that college is out for break I will be updating this this story every Monday until January so look forward to a couple new chapters!

love,

mousekid!