Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age nor am I making money from this work. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

Notes: Inquisitor is female Lavellan, rogue, dual-blades that trained in the Way of the Assassin. Romanced Solas first then Cullen.

This work is not beta-read so please forgive any errors that are spotted

Consume

'Chapter 2'

by therapist

Pain, unlike anything she ever felt, invaded every part of her body but was especially sharp in her abdomen. An anguished moan left her lips as she shifted, making everything intensify. Every breath was agony, spitting flames onto her lungs and every inhale torturously difficult. She wanted to scream, cry, curl herself into a ball but the hurt was too much and all she could do was moan pitifully. Voices by her mumbled but she couldn't focus on what they were saying. All she wanted was for this to end. If she died now, she would be glad because it meant an end to this suffering.

Soft hands prodded her stomach, eliciting a scream from her as knives stabbed into wherever those hands touched.

"Stop it!" A voice shouted.

It was too much. And she could feel herself succumbing to the pain. Please let me die…

"Please let me die," El mumbled. Cullen watched as her breathing evened out and her body relaxed.

When he and Dorian had entered the infirmary, he had feared the worst. El was covered in blood, moaning in pain. Kya had assured him that her life wasn't in imminent danger but that did little to quell the fear and panic coursing through his body. The healer's hands were glowing as it roved over El's body, her brow was furrowed in concentration but she didn't seem overly alarmed. That calmed him down to a point where he didn't feel like throwing up anymore.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked when Kya pulled her hands away.

The healer sighed. "I...don't know how to tell you this." Her eyes darted over to Dorian, who was leaning against the wall.

"You may speak freely here Kya. El would want Dorian to know as well."

Kya nodded her head and closed her eyes. "The Inquisitor was with child."

He couldn't contain his surprise and glanced at El's stomach, flat and showing no signs. Then Kya's words processed and he felt the everything drop. "Wait...was?"

Kya nodded, face solemn. "I'm sorry General, the child did not survive."

His chest squeezed as he looked at El's bloody clothes. Our child… Tears sprung from his eyes and he turned away from the others. He wanted to punch something or scream, but he couldn't do it in front of the others. A warm hand touched his shoulder and he glanced back to see Dorian's sympathetic gaze.

"I'm sorry Cullen," Dorian said. "I'll leave you be but I'll be back later."

He didn't answer except for a slight nod of his head. Dorian exited after, leaving him with Kya.

Hastily wiping his tears, he turned back to the healer, who looked at him, grief apparent on her face.

"General, there's something else I must tell you."

His heart thudded wildly at the healer's words and tone. He knew it was something serious.

"While doing the exam, I found that the child would have been born an elf."

His eyebrows furrowed, confused at why that was anything surprising. Kya, seeing his expression, gave him another sympathetic look.

"Humans and elf offsprings are always human."

That revelation made him sit down in the closest chair. Does that mean…

"Before you start down that path, I would like to bring up the fact that the Inquisitor has the anchor. Elven offsprings are rare because the magic and rituals put into it are complex and lengthy. No one knows what sort of effects the anchor could have especially on a growing fetus. It allows the Inquisitor to have some magical talents despite not being a mage. It may have contributed to this situation."

He nodded, his voice failing to work. Not wanting to think of the other possibility, he glanced over at El's sleeping form. Tired and drained from the day's events, he was glad that El wasn't awake right now because he knew he wouldn't be able to ignore the questions in his mind. Considering how their last argument ended, the damage from this new squabble could end their relationship.

Kya sat down next to El. "I know this has been a troubling time for you General. I'll stay with her tonight, you should rest up."

He wanted to argue but she was right. Between the alcohol consumed earlier and the past day's events, he was exhausted. Thanking Kya, he left the room to retreat to the safety of his chambers.

The first thought that entered her consciousness was how her body ached. Compared to the previous pain, this was an improvement. Opening her eyes, she noticed the darkened room, with a lone candle used for light. Kya rested in the chair next to her and she felt a sense of gratitude for her. Despite how busy and difficult her tasks were, Kya never complained nor faltered. Looking around, she could tell that she was in the infirmary again and that she was alone with the healer. She frowned at the disappointment she felt at not seeing Cullen beside her. It was her fault for pushing him away, she knew that, but that didn't stop her feeling a bit dejected.

Debating whether to rest more or rise, a wave of pain and nausea forced her to her feet and out the door. The harsh light blinded her as she spewed bile onto the grass. Sounds that usually filled Skyhold paused as she heaved but it was dull against the roar of her headache and beating heart. Along with her bloody clothes, she knew she was a mess. The only positive was that there were no nobles to chide or make remarks, though she could hear their ridicule - Oh look at the state of her clothes! Is she kneeling in the dirt? Have you seen such a display from someone of power before?

Large hands lifted her to her feet and she knew it was Bull from his scent. She allowed him to carry her back into the room, where Kya was just awaking. Bull set her gently down onto the bed, nodding to the bleary-eyed healer before stepping out of the room.

Kya apologized, which she waved away. "You do so much for us Kya, do not apologize." Her words elicited a blush from the normally composed healer. "If you can spare the energy, I know my stomach and head will gladly appreciate the help." Kya bowed before she placed her glowing hands at each temple. Being healed by both magic and potions, she preferred the talented healers versus the usual bitter potions. Watching the healer rove her hands over her head - headache disappeared so quickly, she thanked whoever invented healing magic - then over to her stomach, she noted how Kya's brow furrowed in worry before she realized that she was looking at her and reverted back to a nonchalant look. Saving her questions until after the exam was over, she then noticed that Kya was still working on her stomach.

After a few moments, she couldn't keep her questions at bay. "Kya, what is wrong?"

She stammered, which was unusual to see as Kya was quite eloquent. "I - I cannot heal whatever ails you."

Her eyebrows shot up in shock, mimicking her healer's surprised expression. "What's wrong with me?"

"I do not know Inquisitor. Forgive me. I must investigate this more for now but please rest." She abruptly got to her feet and left, leaving the Inquisitor confused and scared. She rose to her feet to follow but a wave of nausea forced her back into the cot. Tears sprung from her eyes as she wondered if she was cursed. Life was just spitting out hardships and she couldn't dodge them at all. Perhaps I am cursed.

No doubt there were many people that hated her, maybe someone with magical powers had done something to her. While she didn't think it was possible, with how everything was going, it seemed more logical than thinking she had shit luck. Or maybe it was divine retribution for everything that had happened in the last three years.

Even though she tried to not think about it, she wanted to see Solas again. These sort of questions she had, it was something she would talk to with him. Despite how ridiculous some of her questions were in the past, he had never laughed at her. Instead, he praised her curiosity. With everyone gone, there weren't many people she could talk to or ask questions.

Just seeing him in her dreams had rekindled something she thought was gone. She shook her head in frustration, why was it so hard to move on from him? He wasn't her first love but she had fallen harder and faster than before. Everything about him drew her to him and she tried hard to rid herself of those feelings. Only to have years of work destroyed in a single dream.

Sitting up, she looked at her bloodstained clothes, grimacing. Kya had left her fresh clothes next to her cot and she felt another rush of gratitude towards the mage. She changed out of her clothes, noting the pain in her stomach and lower abdomen as she pulled on the clean clothes. She had an inkling of what happened but she knew it wouldn't do to panic or cry about something she hasn't confirmed. However, it didn't stop the pain nor ache she felt when she looked at the blood. Despite their problems, she would've loved having children with Cullen. She knew he would be such a devoted and excellent father.

Another pang of sadness and regret filled her, filling her eyes with tears. Another loss for me. Tears started to spill over and her chest ached, as she fought to control her emotions. Her tears stopped but she felt empty and muted. The room suddenly felt too constricting, making her chest seize in pain. The sensation swelled and she tried to ignore it, tried to calm herself. Finally, not able to take it anymore, she tore out of the room, ignoring the concerned looks and questions from the others. Her feet took her to the tavern, where she swiped a random bottle of liquor from the bar and went toward the roof through Sera's old room. The climb was hard, especially with her injuries and trying to hold onto the bottle but she did it after a few minutes, panting in exhaustion and covered in sweat. She could oversee most of Skyhold and any other day, she would have cherished the sight. Now it just made her feel empty. The pride she had felt from being part of something so important was gone and it left her feeling hollow. Perhaps it was because of her injury, maybe seeing Solas had done this, or maybe it was a combination of every fucking thing that had happened finally slammed into her and left her in this state.

All she knew was that this was the last place she wanted to be right now. Eyes fixed on the barn, she wondered if she could flee this place without anyone chasing after her. Taking a swig from the bottle, it went down smoothly and she wiped her mouth against her sleeve. Though she wanted to leave, she had nowhere else to go. Bitterly, she remembered she had no clan to return to and she felt anger swell within her again. As time passed on, she was thinking that her decision to not respond was wrong. Her heart hadn't forgotten what happened in Wycome nor has the pain receded with time.

She downed more of her drink and could feel the warmth of the alcohol beginning to affect her. Instead of that light, giddy feeling, she would normally get while drunk, she felt herself crawling deeper into her hole.

Someone was calling her name from below but she ignored it and took another generous swig. Her mind was blank but she could feel the undercurrents of her anger rippling. She knew it was stupid to lower her inhibitions when she was feeling like this but she needed some sort of release from it all.

"El."

It was Cullen calling from below. She didn't respond, only took another sip, noting that half the bottle was gone.

"El." This time with more exasperation and a twinge of anger.

She was angry too. Forgetting about her previous embarrassment and sorrow for her actions, she could feel the resentment building. She guzzled the rest of the bottle, then let the empty bottle roll down the slanted roof. She heard Cullen swear as the glass shattered below. The alcohol buzz muted her thoughts and sounds as she gazed at the skyline. It was the first moments of peace for her in a while and her body relaxed, the pain disappears.

"-ease come down from the roof!" Cullen barked, breaking through her haze. Instantly, her wounds throbbed harshly and she winced. In that previous moment of peace, she had felt like her old self, the one before the Inquisition. All she wanted was to rest quietly but it seemed like she would never get a reprieve from her duties. She remembered those quiet moments while traveling with her clan. Often she would find herself alone for hours at a time, which she used to hunt or train. Those times she had wished for a more exciting life. She chuckled. She was a fool. She did not appreciate what she had and now, it was too late. Feeling her chest tightening again, she wondered if she would ever recover from this pain. The wound was still fresh as it was years ago, only with more anger now.

"El…"

She barely responded to Dorian's entrance. Normally, she would hug the Tevinter tightly while laughing at his admonishments about how improper her actions were. But right now, she wanted to be alone, to cry, to not feel like she had to hide. She just wanted to be Eliana for a while, not Inquisitor. Why can't they leave me alone?

"I see Cullen recruited you for his bidding," she finally responded, flatly.

The mage frowned at her words on tone. "My dear friend, no one recruited me for anything. I'm here to see how my dearest friend is doing and whether she wanted any company on this highly unstable, slanted, damaged roof that can cave in at any time."

Despite her mood, laughter bubbled in her chest and she patted the spot next to her. He sat down, looking regal, which was a hard task to do considering where they were.

"I know better than to ask stupid questions but I will. Are you all right?"

She chuckled briefly before her smile fell. "I'm drowning and I don't know how to save myself."

He didn't respond immediately, his brows furrowed in thought. Despite her initial ire at his intrusion, she was glad he came. Dorian was one of those people that always made her happy. While she loved all of her friends deeply, Dorian had especially wormed his way into her heart, to where she couldn't imagine her life without him. Initially, she didn't trust him. He was smart, charming, and Tevinter, a deadly combination in most cases. Not only did he prove her wrong but he had changed her way of thinking. He challenged her preconceptions and prejudices she held. In the end, she became a better person.

"Let's get out of here," he said, breaking her from her musings.

To which she responded with a defeated look and her dark thoughts returned. "I have nowhere to go." She looked at the skyline again, unable to face him lest she sees the pity in his eyes.

"I have 20 gold on whether we can sneak out of here without anyone seeing us," Dorian remarked casually. She turned and saw that he was serious, though the amused twinkle in his eyes told her that he was having fun.

Activating Stealth, Dorian grinned before dissipating in a cloud of smoke. She hauled herself up and quickly worked her way back inside the tavern. Tiptoeing around the soldiers, she could hardly contain her laughter and had to stop herself from pranking the unsuspecting soldiers. By the door, she thought for sure she was caught as Bull stood by it, his massive frame blocking most of it. After a minute of not moving, she realized he wasn't going to move. Looking around, she spied her opening. Quickly, she knocked over the shelving for the liquor, relishing in the sounds of broken bottles and dismayed cries of everyone. Bull left the doorway and El rushed forth. Sprinting past her exasperated lover, she hauled herself over the low stone partition wall, stomach flopping as she fell toward the grassy area near the healer's tents. It was at the gate when she heard the first alarm for her disappearance. Ignoring the guilt at Cullen's shouts, she ran outside Skyhold. Once a safe enough distance, Stealth was deactivated.

Dorian appeared from behind a tree nearby. "Took you long enough."

El could only shake her head. One thing she did know was that she was feeling better already.

The tavern they traveled to was small, much smaller than the one in Skyhold. It was packed to capacity and raucous. However, they paid little heed to her and Dorian. They looked like regular travelers and they blended well with the other revelers.

Dorian slid the mug of ale to her, to which she offered thanks and a toast. The oppressive weight had lifted off her and her previous injuries were specks in her mind. Clanking his mug against hers, she let out a small laugh at Dorian's disgust as he drank.

"And here I thought nothing can beat Dragon's piss."

"It's not that bad," she remarked. It wasn't good either but she had worse...a lot worse. "Nothing can come close to that concoction that Bull had me drink."

A shudder passed through him. "I see you've also tasted it. The taste lingered in my mouth for an entire week!"

El nodded, remembering the celebratory drinks consumed after killing her first dragon. It was bitter, sour, warm, spicy, and pungent. Just thinking about it made her nauseous. "I almost gave up drinking thanks to that."

"Actually Bull was quite impressed with how much of it you drank. When I complained after a sip, he said 'Well, the Inquisitor tanked five of them in one sitting.' To which I responded that you didn't have a refined palate as mine."

She laughed. "After the first drink, my throat was numb. I didn't taste anything after that nor anything else for the rest of the week."

"Trust me, that's a good thing because the only thing worse than drinking it, is tasting it when it comes back up."

"Excuse me?"

They both turned to look at the voice interrupting their conversation. A young man stood by them, fiddling his drink nervously in his hand.

"Could I buy you a drink?" Looking at her. She gave Dorian a look and he shrugged his shoulders.

The young man was around Cullen's age, maybe younger, with dark hair and handsome, even though he was clearly nervous. She was flattered. "Thank you for the offer, however, I don't think we will be drinking for much longer."

"Nonsense El! Let this man buy you a drink," Dorian interrupted. She turned as glared at the mage, which he waved off. "Let him get you a drink, you deserve it."

She groaned as the man perked up and disappeared. Turning to her troublesome friend, she fumed. "Dorian! Now he's going to stay even longer."

He waved off her concerns. "Listen, just say thank you and enjoy the drink."

The man returned with three tankards, distributing one to her and Dorian, which made the mage beam happily. El sighs before she gestures to the seat across of her, which the man takes.

"Thank you for the drink." El took a swig, the sweet liquid a stark contrast from their earlier one. "This one is much better than the one my friend bought me."

"Rude," Dorian quipped.

The man chuckled and raised a glass to the bartender, who returned the gesture. "It helps when the bartender is your childhood friend. I'm Sebastian."

"This is El and I'm Dorian."

Sebastian shook both of their hands. "Are you Tevinter Dorian?"

"Mm, I see you recognize greatness," Dorian responded. "I am Tevinter but not a blood mage nor am I a magister."

El stiffened, worried about how Sebastian would respond. Not many viewed Tevinters favorably and while she knew Dorian could handle himself, she wanted to protect her friend.

"I'm from the Free Marches. And you're a city elf El?"

Surprised at his lack of hostility, El nodded. "I suppose I am a city elf though I see myself as Dalish."

"Honestly this is the first time I've seen an elf. We don't have too many that come through here," Sebastian remarked, studying her.

Used to the scrutiny, she remained quiet as he assessed her. That was the first thing that she tried to get used to when she first became part of the Inquisition. The staring. She had asked Josephine if there was something wrong with her or her outfit. Her ambassador just chuckled and kindly told her that many have not seen or interacted with a Dalish elf.

"Inquisitor."

El stiffened. The tavern quieted as they turned to look at her. While the mood was jovial and light, it shifted to something more dangerous and she cursed when she realized that she was weaponless.

It was one of Leliana's spies and she wondered if her Spymaster was close by.

"Inquisitor?" Sebastian rose from his seat and backed away. "You're the Inquisitor."

Tanking the rest of her drink, she nodded before rising. "I am Eliana, the leader of the Inquisition." Dorian at her right, the spy flanked her left and she felt him press something against her waist - a dagger - then tucked it into her empty sheath.

"Out! Get out now!" The bartender shouted.

El nodded and they went toward the exit. Only to have several large men blocking it.

"You're the cause for a lot of death," one seethed.

She knew. She dreamed of all that died at her hands. All the blood and death that came from her hands, all the lives she couldn't save, and all those that died for her. She dreamed of them all.

She felt Dorian shift. "El…"

"Please allow us to leave peacefully."

"Why should we? When you're responsible for the death of everyone I loved back in Haven."

Her eyes closed. Haven. It's been a long time since she thought of that place and all that were killed there. One of her biggest failures.

"Haven was not the Inquisitors fault! If you wish to blame someone, blame the person responsible! Corypheus descended upon Haven and it was El that stood up to fight against him while everyone fled. She almost died in Haven, how dare you blame her!"

Her eyes opened in shock at Dorian's words. As if I couldn't love him anymore. It seemed like his words also affected the others as they mumbled apologies before stepping aside. She flashed Dorian a grateful smile as they left. Once outside, she sighed in relief. Tossing the dagger back to the spy, she leveled him with an annoyed glare.

"What were you thinking? Addressing me as Inquisitor?" She barked. "That could've been a lot worse and people could've died."

The spy bowed deeply. "Forgive me, Inquisitor, I didn't think you were hiding your identity. I was only sent to find and retrieve you."

El sighed. She had no right to be angry. "No, it's okay. I know you were only doing your job. Please inform Leliana that I will be returning soon."

The spy nodded before disappearing.

"Well, that certainly could have gone better. I apologize El. I only wished to let you enjoy some anonymity and relax but I fear I may have made things worse for you."

Now it was her turn to wave away his concerns. "Nonsense, after that speech, I'm promoting you to my new goodwill ambassador."

"Will I you increase my pay?"

Tapping her chin in mock thought, she nodded. "I think we just received some crates of wine from Val Royeaux."

"Excellent! That should do nicely."

The sound of the door opening interrupted their conversation and she was surprised to see Sebastian exit. Still wary, she gathered closer to Dorian.

"I'm sorry about everyone in there." He offered a low bow.

She gazed at the back of his head in shock. Seems like today is filled with surprises.

"A lot of people lost those that were closest to them. The pain made them forget that those people weren't forced to help but wanted to be part of something, to help the world. So thank you, Inquisitor, for saving us."

"I helped too," Dorian chimed.

Sebastian bowed to the mage as well, making said mage blush in embarrassment. "Thank you, Dorian of Tevinter, for saving everyone."

El looked at Dorian. "I think I found someone else to be our goodwill ambassador."

"I'm keeping the wine."

After they had thanked Sebastian and made arrangements for him to visit Skyhold - after Leliana does a thorough check - they started to head back to Skyhold. It was starting to get dark and she hoped they could make it before they lost all light.

"I can't believe you demoted me, right after my promotion as well!" Dorian griped. "Though I will admit, Sebastian does have a way with words. Perhaps I can convince him to give me some lessons."

"You do not need any lessons, you're just using this as an excuse to see him because he's handsome."

"I certainly would not do such a thing! I'm just hoping to get tips - hey - why are you looking at me like that?"

El laughed, her glare disappearing. What could have been a disastrous outing had turned into what she needed, what her soul and spirit needed.

Silence had fallen between them but it wasn't uncomfortable. If anything, El felt at peace, something that has been lacking for a long time. The troubles that plagued her felt inconsequential. Lightness filled her being and she felt happy.

"Thank you for this Dorian. If I am glad for anything, it is meeting you."

The normally composed man sputtered at her words. "El…"

"Shut up and hug me."

He laughed before enveloping her, her arms clutching tightly to his form. She sighed happily. As long as I have my friends, I can face anything.

A cry escaped her lips and the anchor came to life, green lightning illuminating the darkness. Ripping herself away from Dorian, she dropped to her knees, her right hand clutching her left.

Why? Why now?

"El! What's happening?!"

Time drifted on as her hand burned in sensations that made her feel faint. Tears leaked as her cursed hand reminded her of her troubles.

As quickly as it started, it stopped. The light green glow disappeared, the tiny aftershocks still smarting. Picking herself from the ground, she tried to catch her breath. One of Dorian's arm had wrapped around her waist and she leaned against him, grateful.

"What in Andraste's name was that?"

She looked at her treacherous hand. "The anchor."

She could practically feel his eye roll. "Yes, I know that was the anchor. Why was it reacting like that?"

She shook her head. "I wish I knew what is wrong this thing. It's the reason why I haven't been able to sleep and the reason why I stabbed my hand."

Gazing at him, she could see the concern on his face. "This is something that you need to tell Cullen and the others. They can help you."

The thought of the others knowing frightened her. It was an irrational thought but her mind couldn't help it. Weakness was something that was hidden from all, for she knew that if this ever got out, it wasn't just her reputation suffering but the Inquisition. All the good they have done would be negated and she - everyone risked too much to let that happen.

She shook her head vehemently. "I can't, the Inquisition would suffer if anyone found out. Please, Dorian, do not tell anyone, especially Cullen."

The mage sighed. "Secrets like this isn't something you should be keeping to yourself. If anyone will understand, it will be Cullen. Please reconsider it."

"I'll think about it." But in her mind, she knew she wouldn't change her mind. If these past few days had shown her was that perception can change as quickly as the weather. Her response seemed to placate him, at least for now. She knew he would bother her again about this.

The rest of the hike was quiet and El could feel the dread creeping with each step closer to Skyhold. Her previous ease and happiness dissipated and all she felt was apprehension. This visceral reaction swelled as the walls and parapets became visible.

Bull had met them by the entrance and El smiled as Dorian gave him a quick peck. The happiness on Dorian's face was absolutely real and El loved it. Cullen was standing behind Bull, his face pulled tight in anger. The pain that had faded when she was out with Dorian came roaring back to life and she grimaced. It all made her want to activate Stealth and disappear. But she knew that their talk was a long time coming.

Nodding to Dorian - he mouths Tell him as she passed - and follows Cullen to the armory. The tension in his shoulders and the aura was telling. Once inside, Cullen dismissed the workers, whom then scurried outside.

Alone, El watched his back and waited for him to say something. Time passed silently and the tension increased as no one spoke.

"Why?" He finally said, back still to her.

"Why what Cullen?" she threw back. She wasn't trying to be difficult but sometimes her mouth just spat out whatever she was thinking.

That seemed to stoke his anger. Whirling around, his face contorted in anger. "Why did you leave without telling me? You could've been attacked, in danger, without me none the wiser! I keep trying to talk to you but you keep running away El!"

The ache in her belly throbbed and she closed her eyes from the pain and from the hurt she could hear in his voice. "I am sorry Cullen. I just needed to leave."

"Away from me?"

She nodded, hating that she had hurt him, Cullen is such a great man, a wonderful partner. "It was too much Cullen, everything. I just needed some space away from everyone."

"You could have told me El, instead of disappearing. I was scared, my mind thinking all these horrible thoughts."

"It was wrong to not tell you, Cullen, I am sorry for my behavior."

He sighed, tension leaving his body. "Now will you tell me what happened the other night?"

Fear stabbed at her and her body tensed. "The other night…"

Catching her sudden reluctance, his eyes narrowed. "I do not believe that you fell onto your dagger. Why won't you tell me what really happened?" His tone was exasperated and desperate.

The explanation stood on the tip of her tongue, trying to escape from her mouth. Her reluctance puzzled her, Cullen had done nothing to earn her hesitance and yet, she couldn't deny the pit in her stomach at the thought of Cullen discovering her secret.

Cullen tried another tactic. "Does Dorian know?"

Before she could fully comprehend his question, she nodded. Only when she saw the tightening of his face, the anger and sadness twisting his features.

"But not willingly!" She sputters. Grimacing, she tries again. "He found out." Even to her, her excuse - because it really was an excuse - sounded weak.

Not responding, he turned and left. Startled, she watched as his back disappeared beyond the door. Finally, she snapped into action and chased after him. Calling his name, she ignored the smattering of soldiers that loitered outside, staring at her as she chased after Cullen. He ignored her, heading toward his office and she continued to follow. Once in the office, she shut the door behind her.

"Cullen…"

Turning, she could barely handle the obvious disappointment - the disapproval - on his face. "I'll be staying here from now on."

At his words, old pains flared, making everything sharper. Her chest squeezed as his words sunk in. His upstairs bedroom has been unoccupied for over a year and he had moved into her spacious room.

"Does that mean…" She couldn't say the words, fear filling her.

"I need space and time to think."

Tears brimmed her eyes and she willed herself not to cry. You brought this upon yourself. Nodding, she left.

Drink, I need a drink.