My Life Would Suck Without You

Chapter 6

Pogue wrapped his arms around her as she started to cry. He could only imagine what that must have felt like. To like someone who would never share the same feelings. As much as he saw Caleb as his best friend, he hated to see Janessa this distraught. She was like the little sister that they had all hoped for and Tyler was the one who benefitted from it all. Because she was his little sister even if it wasn't by blood. He would always be the one that was connected to her and have a special bond. But it was Pogue, who Janessa felt that she could confide in when she was afraid to speak to Tyler about her problems. He had always been there for her since they had gotten older. He kissed her head before whispering, "There's no need to be self-conscious, baby girl. You're just as beautiful as Sara. I'd say even more beautiful than she is. You don't need to be self-conscious about yourself because you're amazing. I'm sorry that you feel like he doesn't see you the same way but maybe in the future things will change, baby girl. But for now, let's work on you taking care of yourself day by day."

"Thank you, Pogue." She whispered as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Now let's go back in there and play a game of pool. Bet I can kick your ass at that." He said winking at her.

Janessa chuckled before shaking her head, "You know I suck at playing pool."

"Then this will be a great game." He said as she punched him in the arm.

The two walked back into Nicky's and joined the guys again at the table.

A week later...

It had been a week since Pogue had confronted Janessa about what was going on with her. The two have since grown much closer if that was possible. They spoke as often as they could and Pogue tried his best to spend as much time as he could at the Simms' home. Janessa was still feeling self-conscious but she was slowly starting to accept herself. Caleb and Sarah had been hanging out more often much to Janessa's liking. But she refused to let Caleb know how she really felt. So she avoided him as best as she could.

Walking out of her bedroom, she headed for the kitchen to see what her mom was up. As she walked into the kitchen, she saw her parents sitting at the kitchen table. Rosalind looked at her with a sad expression while Glenn consoled his wife. "Mom, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" She asked sitting on the empty kitchen chair next to Rosalind.

Janessa reached for her mother's hand as Rosalind spoke up, "It's your biological mom, Janessa."

"What about her? Does she want full custody of me?" Janessa asked as she saw Rosalind's eyes watering up.

"No sweetie, she…she passed away last night in her sleep." Rosalind explained as Janessa let go of her mom's hand.

"No…no that can't be." She muttered as she shook her head in disbelief.

As much as she despised her biological mom that didn't mean she would wish death upon her. Hailey would always be her mom regardless of their situation. With her death, this meant that she was losing a small part of her. She didn't want to believe this news. It couldn't be really at all. It couldn't be true. She had just spent time with them this summer. And it would lead up to this? To the death of her biological mom? This was too much to handle. She needed to get away from everyone and everything. "I'm so sorry, sweetie." She heard Rosalind say.

"It's not your fault, mom. These things happen and it's part of life. I think I'm just in shock about her dying. I mean I didn't like her because she gave me up but I would never wish for something like this to happen." She said as she felt her tears stream down her face, "She's still my mom."

"Of course, sweetie," Glenn said reaching across the table to hold his daughter's hand, "No one would."

"I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Like I shouldn't be that hurt right? The woman never wanted me when I was born." Janessa said as Rosalind held her daughter's other hand, "I just feel like that's a part of me I'll never be able to gain back."

"Oh sweetie, I wish I knew the right words to say to make you feel better. But you just have to cherish the memories that you were able to have with her. And although you feel like she didn't want you, somewhere deep down inside of her she loved you. You were her baby girl too. You may have thought that she didn't want you but maybe she wanted to give you a better life too, sweetie." Rosalind said, "And look at you now. You've grown into a better woman. I think that's more than she can ask for. Especially for her baby girl."

Janessa wrapped her arms around Rosalind and whispered, "I love you, mom."

"I love you so much, Nessie. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this right now but your father and I will be here for you." Rosalind said as Glenn nodded his head.

"Thank you. I appreciate it." Janessa said as she stood up and hugged Glenn, "And I love you, dad."

"I love you too, baby girl. So very much." Glenn said hugging his daughter and kissing her head.

The three heard their front door open and close. "Mom! Dad! Nessie! I'm home!" Tyler yelled.

"In the kitchen, honey!" Rosalind said as Janessa wiped her eyes and leaned against their kitchen island.

Tyler appeared in the kitchen a few seconds later and looked at the three. He noticed the look on his mother's face before looking at his sister's. He had a feeling that something was wrong. "Is everything okay?" He asked, as he looked at his dad then his mom.

"My biological mom passed away last night in her sleep." Janessa said quietly as Tyler looked at her.

In an instant he was by her side hugging her as she completely broke down and cried against his shoulder. Rosalind and Glenn looked on at their children. Tyler had always been Janesssa's comfort, her protector, and most especially her big brother. He had been there through everything. They had always had a special bond since the day that Janessa was brought home. And it showed right now. Tyler rubbed her back and whispered soothing words into her ears. Once she stopped crying, Tyler looked at her face and asked, "Do you want me to take you out of the house?"

Janessa could only nod her head as Tyler looked at their parents. Both of them gave him the okay to take her out of the house. They hugged their parents before heading out of the house. They heard their mother telling them to be back home before dinner. Tyler guided his sister out of the house and into his car. Getting in the car, he didn't know where they were going to go but he would just drive. Tyler started to drive as Janessa looked out of the window. He drove around for a few minutes before he looked over at Janessa. She was still looking out the window and he could see tears slipping down her eyes. He felt so bad. He wanted to be able to make things better for her. "You okay, Nessie?" He asked reaching for her hand.

"I don't know, Ty. Am I supposed to feel this hurt or this much pain? She didn't love me at all. So why should I feel sad about her death?" She whispered.

"I can't give you the perfect answer and mom already probably told you this but regardless of what your situation with her was, she still loved you. There's no changing that. You two will always be connected." He said as he continued to drive down the road.

Janessa let out a sigh before looking at him, "I knew you were going to say that. What am I supposed to do, Ty?"

"You just take things day by day and cherish the time you got to spend with her this summer." He said as Janessa could only nod her head.

Author's Note: I apologize for the delay in updating! I've been super stuck on writing this chapter. I know this chapter is a little all over the place and I may go back and fix it a little bit. But I did want to get this chapter out and posted for you all since you've been waiting so long. I apologize if it's not the best and you guys feel it's super rushed. But please leave your reviews! Thank you again for all the support! All the reviews, favorites and follows!