Author's Note: Maybe this will be done in four chapters? I'm trying to get it to you as quickly as possible, but I won't sacrifice quality. Here's a little more I guess. Thanks for the reviews AS ALWAYS.

When Steve got home that night, he found that Laura was already getting ready to go, though she wasn't anywhere near ready. He found her in the bathroom, in her bra and thong, curling her weave. She hadn't even applied her makeup yet. He stared at her for a minute, always captivated by her in her unmentionables. She was sporting an older, plain, cream-colored bra and a lacy, hot pink thong that he didn't recognize, meaning it was more than likely new and expensive. He knew that was the bra she wore on laundry days and when she wasn't planning on wearing one out.

A moment later, she noticed him. "Hey," she said, jumping slightly as he startled her.

"Hey," Steve replied.

"How was your day?" she asked.

"Good," he answered. He stared at her for a moment as he leaned against the doorframe. "Carl called me."

Laura swallowed hard. "He did? What he say?"

"He said that they're down a guy, and they need another player tonight."

Laura tried to look surprised. "And he invited you?"

"Yeah," Steve said unenthusiastically.

Laura could sense where this conversation was going, meaning she had to end it quickly. "That's great! I'm so glad! I'll be ready in a few minutes!" she said dismissively as she turned her hair dryer back on and began to fluff out her waves. It wasn't a step she needed to do, and it was definitely messing up some of her hard work, but she kept it on cool to minimize the damage, and at least it put this conversation on hold.

Steve stared at her suspiciously before he finally relented. He went to the walk-in to change into something more comfortable and casual. Part of him still believed that Laura was responsible for his invite, and if she was, he had every reason to be mad about it, and they would certainly discuss it, but for the time being, he was going to do everything in his power to have fun tonight. In the off chance that this invite was sincere, he wanted to be sure that he didn't blow his chance at another one. He was going to be cool and calm and funny and a blast to have at boys' night, no matter what it took to accomplish.

When he heard the hairdryer turn off, he decided not to harass her for answers again. That could wait until after tonight. Right now, he needed her help. He walked over to the bathroom and saw her curling her hair again.

"Hey," she said again. She tried to hide how tense she was, though she wasn't sure she'd pulled it off.

"Could you help me pick out an outfit?" he asked in embarrassment.

Laura set her curling iron down and turned to him. "Baby, it doesn't matter what you wear. Pick out something that you like and that makes you feel comfortable," she insisted, reaching out for his hands.

"Laura, please," he swallowed nervously.

Laura cocked her head at him sympathetically. "Ok," she agreed. She released his hands and walked out toward the closet. "But you have to tell me if it's uncomfortable."

"Ok," he agreed.

She stepped into their closet and turned to his side. She grabbed his best-fitting, dark jeans and a pink polo and handed them to him.

"Pink?" He questioned.

Laura pouted. "You look hot in pink."

"Maybe not on boys' night?"

"Real men can wear pink," she reminded him as she put it back. She picked out a light blue polo instead.

He nodded. "Thank you, Sweetums."

"You're welcome, Honey." She stepped close to him and pressed her body up against him. "Relax. You'll do great." She kissed him softly before she went back to the bathroom to finish getting ready. She had to speed it up, or they were both going to be late.

Steve was ready and waiting at the door five minutes early. Laura grabbed her purse and was ready to go five minutes late. He had to admit, however, that she was a knock-out. Her pink, form-fitting, crushed velvet dress would make any man want to run his hands all over her perfect body. Though he knew they still had a dangerous conversation ahead of them this evening, and though he was a little preemptively mad at her because he had so much reason to be suspicious, he couldn't help but smile when he saw her. "You are so sexy," he whispered as he came up to her.

She smiled back. "You like my new dress?"

"I really, really do," he replied softly.

Laura pouted at him seductively. "Those jeans are too thick. I can't tell how much you like it," she whined, pressing up against him.

"I like it a whole lot," he answered, "but we should go. We don't wanna be late." Steve grabbed a bowl of homemade dip from the counter and reached for the doorknob.

"What's that?" Laura asked, grabbing his wrist.

"My famous Squid-Gouda-Red Pepper dip," he answered.

Laura cringed. "Honey, you can't bring that."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because I want you to be invited back?" she offered hesitantly.

"Laura, this dip is delicious," he argued.

"I know you think so, Steve, but… C'mon. You know other people's tastes usually don't align with yours."

He frowned deeply. No wonder no one really wanted to hang out with him. He couldn't do anything right.

Laura couldn't stand the look on his face. "Lemme try it," she suggested, reaching for the bowl and taking it back to the counter.

"You hate squid," he reminded her, still pouting.

Laura pulled a bag of corn chips out of the pantry and removed the foil from the bowl. She steeled herself and put on her bravest face. She scooped up a big bite and brought it to her lips. She hesitated for a moment, but then she saw the look on his face again and took the plunge. It was slimy. That was her first thought. The squid chunks were juicy. It was all way too salty. Mostly, it was the squid chunks. She couldn't resist spitting it out into her hand. "Oh, God," she moaned. She wiped her hand and washed up before turning back to Steve. "I'm sorry," she said immediately.

"It's ok," he shrugged. He placed a hand on the back of his head and rubbed gently. "If you didn't like it, you didn't like it. No big deal."

Laura reached out to him and tugged him closer. "Why don't we bring yesterday's leftover chicken? I can coat it in some buffalo sauce and put it on a plate with some celery slices, and you've got an appetizer!"

"Yeah," he said softly. "Ok."

Laura immediately grabbed the chicken and began to slice it into smaller chunks. "I don't mean to be bossy here, Steve. I'm just trying to help. If you'd rather bring the dip-"

"No. This is good. Thanks."

Laura drenched the chicken in sauce and transferred it to a plate. Then she pulled the celery out of the fridge and arranged it around the edges. Finally, she wrapped it in plastic wrap. "I just want you to get off on the right foot with these guys," she explained, handing him the plate.

Steve nodded. "We better go, or we'll be late."

When they got to the Winslow household, they were the first to arrive. Steve had no understanding of being fashionably late. "Hey, Ma. Hey, Daddy," Laura said as they entered.

"Hey, guys," Carl said, forcing a smile.

"Hi, Honey," Harriette said.

Steve remained silent.

"Hi, Steve," Harriette prompted, giving him an expecting look.

"Hi, Mom," Steve smiled weakly. He turned to Laura. "I'm gonna run to the restroom."

"Ok, Babe," she agreed, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

The second he was out of the room, Harriette stepped closer to Laura. "What's with him?"

Laura crossed her arms over his chest. "I think he knows that I made Daddy invite him. I'm not sure though."

"You didn't make him invite him. I invited him," Harriette reminded her.

"Yeah, but then Daddy uninvited him," Laura stressed. "Then I had to barge into the police station and threaten him so Steve wouldn't jump off a roof!"

"Carl!" Harriette scolded softly. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't mean anything by it! It's just usually a cops-only game!" he whispered harshly. "Why would you invite him without asking me?"

"Because it's a dumb poker game, and you should want to spend time with your son-in-law."

"I do!" he insisted. "But this game is a longstanding tradition!"

"Steve played with you before when he was a kid," Harriette reminded him.

"I remember," Carl said with annoyance. "It's a cops-only game, Harriette."

"You didn't tell him we talked, did you?" Laura interrupted.

"No," Carl answered.

"Then how does he know?" Laura asked.

Eddie and Max walked in before anyone could answer. "Hey," Eddie said.

"Hey," they all mumbled back.

Max looked around the room. "Why do you all look so weird?"

"It's nothing," Laura said as Steve returned. Laura stepped closer to Max. "Girl, I love your outfit!"

"Oh, thanks!" she said.

"Max," Harriette began with the friendliest, coolest vibe she could muster. "We've got a few minutes before Rachel gets here. Would you style my hair?"

Laura turned to Harriette and raised an eyebrow at her. Harriette had one hairdresser. One. She'd been seeing Rhonda for nearly twenty years and there was no end in sight.

"Umm… Sure, Mrs. Winslow," Max smiled nervously. "I'd love to."

"Call me Harriette," she insisted, grabbing Max's hand and leading her up the stairs.

Even though no one invited her, and even though she didn't appreciate that, Laura followed them upstairs.

That left the boys alone in their discomfort.

"Ok," Carl said after a long moment of silence. "Help me set up the table, boys."

When the table and chairs were set up, the snacks were out, and Eddie had eaten half of Steve's chicken, the rest of the guys started to arrive.

Carl opened the door after a knock. Willie, Carl's former partner and best cop pal, was the first to arrive. "Hey, Willie!" Carl said.

"Hey, Man!" he replied as he walked in. He handed Carl a bag of pretzels and nodded to Eddie. "Hey, Eddie." Then he noticed Steve. "Hey, Steve!" he said in surprise.

Steve looked up from his pile of chips. "Hey, Willie."

"Steve's joining us tonight since our sixth guy dropped out," Carl said, smiling uncomfortably, staring at Willie with wide, aggressive eyes. He was practically begging him to back up his lie.

Willie got the less than subtle hint. "Cool," he nodded, not questioning it. He sat beside Steve and handed his money to Eddie. "Thanks for taking his place," Willie said to Steve as he collected his chips.

Steve nodded uncomfortably, but Willie was never one to sit in silence.

"So, how's married life treatin' you?" He asked.

Steve smiled softly and looked back up at him. "It's everything I've ever hoped for and more," he answered honestly.

Willie smiled at Carl. "Ah, the honeymoon phase," he snickered.

Carl smirked and nodded, relaxing slightly. "That was a good four days," he joked.

Steve pursed his lips. He didn't think it was that. He and Laura were cooling down, at least a little. The first few weeks they were married, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Now, they were beginning to settle into their roles. However, he couldn't completely argue with it as they'd had sex on the kitchen floor yesterday. Maybe they were still blinded by palm trees and deafened by crashing waves.

"So, Max," Harriette began, "how are things going in beauty school?"

Max cleared her throat as she began to style Harriette's hair. "Um… Good," she answered.

"Good," Harriette chirped.

Laura sat on her parents bed and observed the scene in front of her. She was getting a contact awkward feeling.

"How are your parents?" Harriette continued.

"The same," Max answered.

Laura rolled her eyes. She had to intervene. "Hey, Max, did you see the dress Halle Berry wore to that benefit last week?"

"The one on the cover of Cosmo?" Max asked, finally relaxing as she found something normal to talk about. "Girl, Of course. She looked so fine."

"Doesn't she always?" Laura laughed.

Harriette pursed her lips as the younger women began to chat between themselves.

"But did you see her makeup?" Max continued.

"Oof. Yes, I did. That makeup artist should be shot."

"So how are things with Eddie?" Harriette blurted loudly and abruptly.

Max froze. "Um… Fine," she squealed before zipping her lips tightly.

Not long after Willie had gotten settled, the last two guys walked in.

Eddie stood to greet them. "Hey, Todd. Drake," he said, pulling them in for a cool, smooth handshake.

"Hey, Man," Todd said.

"Hey," Drake nodded. "Captain Winslow."

"Captain Winslow," Todd echoed.

"Officers," Carl nodded.

Steve stood to introduce himself. He extended his hand proudly, but then the guys sat down at table. Eddie began to shuffle cards. Willie dug into the chicken on the table. The new officers began to make polite, shop talk with Carl. Steve sat back down as subtly as possible, trying not to make a scene.

They slipped easily into a game of poker. Steve listened to their conversations and realized Carl was right. He did feel a little left out. It was tough to break into a cops only game. Still he listened and listened, waiting for an opening, but none arrived.

Then Harriette and Max walked down the stairs. Carl stood and whistled. "Look at you!" he exclaimed.

The rest of the guys stood up.

"Gorgeous as ever, Mrs. Winslow," Drake smiled slyly.

Harriette touched his shoulder affectionately. Max came up to Eddie, and he wrapped his arms around her. Harriette looked at Max and Eddie for a moment before she turned to Carl. "Carl, can I see you in the kitchen for a minute?"

"Sure, Sweetheart," he agreed, following her out of the room.

Max took a seat in Carl's chair, and the men sat again.

"So what'd you do with my gorgeous wife, Maxine?" Steve asked.

"She's trying to fix her hair. I tried to help, but she got all defensive… like she does."

Steve nodded. "She can be a little stubborn."

Drake chuckled to himself.

Steve glanced at him suspiciously.

He laughed a little harder.

"What are you giggling at over there, son?" Willie prompted.

"Ha, I'm sorry," he continued to chuckle. "I just… I didn't realize you were married, man."

Eddie perked up. "Oh. My bad, y'all. Drake, Todd, this is my brother-in-law, Steve."

Todd nodded kindly at Steve. "Hey, good to meet you."

Drake cackled a little harder. "I'm sorry, brother. I didn't know your sister was a dog either," he guffawed at Eddie.

"Excuse me?!" Steve growled.

"Yeah," Eddie agreed, growing angry. "Excuse me?"

Max giggled. "Relax, boys. He's gonna be eating those words in a couple minutes."

Todd elbowed his buddy in the side. "Dude, don't be a dick. That's the captain's daughter."

Drake rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean anything by it," he shrugged. "I was just trying to say that I thought the best friend of the incredibly fine Maxine Johnson might be playing in the major leagues." He glanced sideways and smirked at Steve. "You know, not church league tee-ball."

Steve was flabbergasted. Laura had spoiled him rotten, he began to realize. He just wasn't used to being talked to like that anymore. Oh, the confidence she was building in him was going to get his ass kicked someday. "Now, wait just a damn minute!" he exclaimed, standing and gearing himself up for a fight.

"Uh-oh," Laura said as she reached the top of the stairs. She quickly began to run down the steps, all of her goodies bouncing every which way and attracting everyone's attention. "Steve Urkel, you better sit down and wipe that look off your face before you get yourself into trouble," she scolded.

Steve relaxed as she reached the bottom of the stairs. "Laura, c'mere," he begged, waving her over.

She walked up to him and placed a hand gently on his back. "What's wrong, Boo? What happened?" she pouted.

He pulled her closer and left one hand on her lower back. "Nothing," he said softly. "There's just someone I'd like you to meet."

She smiled in relief. "Oh? Ok," she beamed.

"Laura Urkel, this is Officer Drake Wyatt and Officer Todd Franklin. They're a couple of Eddie's buddies," he explained calmly and confidently.

Laura extended her hand and shook with the clearly shocked gentlemen. Laura glanced up at Steve and smirked. She was impressed that he was able to pull himself out of that jealous rabbit hole well enough to avoid upsetting her and stick the landing with whatever posturing he had to do for these alpha males. She cuddled close to him, wanting to really prove his point since he was behaving so well on such an uncomfortable night.

Steve looked down at her and smiled, grateful she was willing to really lay it on thick with him for the moment. He sat back in his chair and pulled her onto his lap, mirroring Eddie's position with Max. "Now, Drake, what were we talking about?" Steve prodded cockily as he gently stroked Laura's smooth, shapely thigh.

"I-I don't think it was important," he shrugged it off, still flustered.

Steve nodded. "So, Sweetpea," he began, "are you gonna be on your best behavior tonight on girls' night?" Steve smirked confidently.

"Boy," Laura scolded, beginning to find his attitude rude when it was aimed at her like that, "I know you didn't just ask me that."

The other men at the table ooooed as she said that.

Steve swallowed hard. He had better rephrase that. "Ahem. I just mean, things aren't gonna get too wild tonight are they?" he gulped nervously.

Laura rolled her eyes and decided to let it go once she saw it was coming from the most insecure part of his heart. There was no need to expose that vulnerability in front of all those people. They could always talk about his mildly demeaning need to control her at another point. It was sure to come up again. She leaned into him. "You know you're the only man who drives me wild, Tiger," she purred, kissing him softly.

Steve relaxed a little. He wasn't sure how he had sidestepped that fight, but he was sure glad he did. "I love you," he whispered softly.

"I love you, too," she replied, staring deep into his eyes. After a long moment, she took a deep breath and stood up. "All right, Max. We should get going. Where's my mom?"

"In the kitchen. Talking to your dad."

"So what's up, Harriette?" Carl asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Am I not cool anymore?" she demanded suddenly.

Carl furrowed his brow. "Huh?"

"I mean, really! How old am I? Have I turned to dust yet?" she exclaimed.

"No, Sweetheart!" Carl replied confidently and without hesitation, though inside he was terrified. What had he done? "You're young! Sexy! Vivacious!" he promised.

"Then why on Earth am I incapable of talking to 21 year old girls?!" she demanded.

"This is about Laura?" he asked in relief.

"No, this is about Max," she corrected.

"Max isn't talking to you?"

"No, she's talking to me, but with one-word answers and simple sentences. We're not having a real conversation! I'm not sure we ever have!"

"Honey, you're exaggerating. You and Max talk all the time. She's Laura's best friend. Think about all the conversations you three had while planning the wedding."

Harriette pouted. "Well, yeah, but she had to talk to me then! I've tried so many times to get closer to her now that she's with Eddie. That's what I missed with Greta. We were never close. I had no idea she was scared about Eddie becoming a cop. I could've helped her. I don't want any of us to lose Max. She's part of the family."

"Exactly, Sweetheart. She's part of the family. You don't have to try so hard. She already loves you!" Carl insisted, placing his hands on her shoulders.

Laura and Max walked in suddenly, so Harriette and Carl zipped their lips. "Hey, Ma," Laura said. "You ready?"

"Yeah," Harriette nodded. "One second. Lemme grab my purse."

As soon as Max and Laura had slipped into the kitchen to go find Harriette, Drake set his cards facedown. "Fuck, Bro. She is fine," he chuckled, punching Steve in the shoulder. "How did a guy like you get a woman like that?"

Steve ignored the temptation to rub his soon to be bruised arm. "I treat her with respect," he answered.

Eddie laughed. "No," he corrected. "You stalked her relentlessly."

Steve scowled at him. He had to bring that up? "But that's not how I got her, Eddie," he corrected. "My persistence only got me into the friend zone. It was the way I treat her that pushed me over the top."

"That, a hundred bucks, and a lot of beer," Eddie added with a laugh.

Willie set his cards down suddenly. As the eldest in the room, that needed to be addressed. "A hundred bucks?" he parroted. "Son, you didn't… pay her to…?"

"No!" Steve corrected urgently as the rest of the boys cracked up. "God, no! It was a charity auction. She paid a hundred bucks for a kiss from me because she felt bad that nobody else bid on me. She started falling for me after that kiss. That's what Eddie was so crassly referring to." He glared at his supposed best bud next to him. "Thanks, Eddo."

"So, Steve," Drake smirked, "what is she? A 38 B?"

"36 C," Steve corrected without thinking. Suddenly his eyes widened. What had he just revealed to this table full of wolves?

"Eh, Steve!" Eddie cringed. "I didn't need to know that!"

Steve looked at him. "Oh, my gosh, Eddo! I'm so sorry! I don't even know how that slipped out!"

Suddenly, the girls walked back in, followed by Carl. Steve finally exhaled. That conversation must have been put to rest. Surely, no one would have the guts to talk about the size of Laura's breasts in front of her father. He was safe again.

"Have a good time, ladies," Carl said, returning to his seat at the table on the other side of Steve. "Be safe."

"We will, Daddy," Laura promised as she came up behind them. She bent forward and leaned down to kiss Steve's cheek from behind. Still leaning forward, she wiped her lipstick from his cheek and whispered, "You're gonna do great, my love. Just relax, and be yourself."

Steve kept his eyes locked on Drake in front of him, glowering as he noticed the young officer lick his lips as he got a long look at Laura's cleavage.

She stood suddenly and walked quickly to meet the other women at the door. "Love you!" she called.

"I love you, too!" he called after her as the door slammed behind her.

Once she was gone, he looked back at his cards for the first time in far too long.

"I think it's on you, Willie," Carl said as they finally continued their hand.