After Eddie had left the house, he drove straight to Max's place. He parked his car in front of her driveway and signaled her with one honk and three flashes of his headlights. Then he turned off his headlights. The last thing he needed was for her parents to see the car watching their home and call the cops, or worse, confront him directly. When she didn't come out, he concluded she must not be home.
He sat, waiting for her for a couple of hours before he finally gave up and went home.
When Laura got home after a long and exhausting night, she was not looking forward to having it out with Steve, but she assumed she'd have to since he was so upset that he'd nearly forced her to hitchhike home. Thankfully, her mother's awkwardness at the club had left her sober enough to drive, and Steve had taken a cab, expecting her to take one too, since he'd almost finished a beer. She unlocked the apartment door and walked in. She kicked her heels off at the door immediately, even though that's not where they went, and walked back toward the bedroom. She was surprised to find that the lights were off throughout the apartment, and Steve appeared to be fast asleep in bed. She considered letting him stay asleep, but she didn't want to appear unconcerned by his dramatic exit, so she figured it was best to wake him. She sat gently on her side of the bed and twisted her body at the hips to lean over him. She placed a hand on his shoulder.
Immediately, he replied, "I don't wanna talk about it tonight, Laura. Let's just go to sleep."
"Honey," she began gently.
"No, Laura," he said firmly. "I can't do this with you tonight. We can talk about it in the morning."
Laura couldn't wait that long. She sighed deeply and went to get ready for bed. She took off her makeup and brushed her teeth. She washed her face and did her evening moisturizing routine. Then she walked back to their closet and tossed her dress and panties into the hamper. Completely naked, she walked back into their bedroom. He didn't even open his eyes. She climbed into bed beside him and spooned him, making sure he felt how little fabric was between them. She placed one hand on his hip and stroked it gently. His shirt rode up as her hand moved. Soon, she was able to drag her fingernails against his bare hip. She felt him shutter. She somehow pressed herself closer to him. She began to gently kiss his neck.
"Laura, no," he said softly. "I don't want to do that when I'm mad at you. It… cheapens it."
Laura frowned. "Well, then let's talk it out. Then you won't be mad at me, and we can make love. Isn't that what you need after such a long… hard… day?" she asked as she slipped her hand into his pants and gripped his member. He already had a semi. She smiled to herself as she realized just how right she was.
He sat up and pushed her hand away. He finally looked at her. "How could you do that to me, Laura?" he asked softly.
She sat up beside him. "Do what, Baby?" she pouted innocently. She knew what she'd done, or she thought she knew, but she wanted to be certain they were talking about the same thing and that he had all the details before she outed herself.
"How could you force Carl and Eddie to invite me after I asked you not to?" he demanded, beginning to show real anger.
"Honey, I-"
"No," Steve said firmly. "Laura, stop that. Please, don't just smother me in Honey's and Baby's until I let this go. I really need to know what on Earth you were thinking. You offered to get involved. I told you I didn't want you to. Then you did anyway, and you lied to me about it."
"I didn't lie!" she stressed. "Not technically."
"You lied by omission," he countered. "Laura, why couldn't you just let this go instead of embarrassing me in front of all of them?"
"Steve, you were so hurt," she said softly. "I couldn't let them do that you."
"It's not your job to protect me!" he countered.
"It damn well is!" Laura yelled.
He gawked at her.
"From them, it is, Steve. How would you feel if your family was treating me like garbage?" she demanded. "Would you just let that go?"
"That's different," he argued. "You don't have a relationship with my family. I have one with yours, and I had one before we were married. It wasn't your place to interfere in those dynamics, especially when I asked you not to! You would kill me if you asked me not to get involved in something like this, and I did anyway!"
"Yes, Steve, but-"
"And you know this is a sore spot for me. You know that it bothers me when you pity me. I don't wanna be pitied by you. I just wanna be loved!"
"I do love you, Baby," she promised, reaching out to him as he pulled away.
"Then why don't you think anybody else will without you making them?"
Laura gasped. "Steve, my family does love you. I promise you they do."
"Well, if you have to force them to express it by threatening that they won't get to see you anymore, then I'm not sure I buy that." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "God, Laura, am I ever gonna be enough for you?"
Laura's heart ripped in half. Holy escalation, Batman! She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Steve waited for a long moment in silence before he finally heard her say, "You are more than enough for me, Steve," she promised.
"Laura, I'm never gonna be the guy that your family wants to hang out with. I'm never gonna be just one of the guys. I tried with them tonight. I really did. I even said some… filthy things about you to try to fit in. I even drank ¾ of a beer, but I still didn't fit in. I'm never gonna be like all your old boyfriends."
"I don't want you to be!" she interrupted. "I've never wanted you to be anything but yourself, Steve."
"Then you have to understand that I'm not gonna get to go out and do things with people a lot. I was a really lonely kid, Laura, and I'm a really lonely adult. That's just who I am. People don't like me. I love you more than anything in this world, Sweetums, and you make me feel so good about myself and so full and so complete, but just because you see me differently, doesn't mean that everyone else is going to. You need to accept that so that I don't feel like I'm failing you on top of how bad I already feel when I get snubbed like this."
"Steve," Laura whimpered, beginning to cry, "you haven't failed me. I don't want you to fit in or to be cool or popular or to be like any other guy. All I want is for you to be happy, and you weren't when you came home and told me my dad uninvited you. You were heartbroken, and maybe you're used to feeling like that, but I'm not used to feeling like I did when I saw that look on your face. I'm sorry I lied to you, and I'm sorry I upset you, but I'm not sorry I got involved, Steve. I'm always going to get involved on your behalf, Baby."
"But, Laura," he whined, "I specifically asked you not to."
"I know, and I'm sorry I ignored that, but how would you feel, Steve? If someone was treating me badly, and you knew there was something you could do about it, would you just let it go because I asked you to?" she challenged.
"Probably not," he admitted. "I'd probably do something just as dumb, and it would blow up in our faces, and you'd be furious with me."
"So we're two peas in a pod then, huh?" she sniffled, hoping she could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
"Laura, you can't do that again. I feel worse now then I did before," he complained.
Laura looked away. That certainly hadn't been her intent. "So what am I supposed to do then? When something like this happens? What am I supposed to do?" she demanded.
"Just be there for me. You can't fix it, my pet. I think this experience has taught us that much. You can't fix something like this without making me feel like you're trying to fix me, so just love me. Tell me you love me for who I am. Hold me. Touch me. Comfort me, but don't try to force me to fit into a situation that I wasn't meant to be in. I don't wanna go anywhere I'm not welcome anymore."
Laura took a deep breath, and she sighed. "Ok," she agreed. "I'm sorry, my love. I won't do this to you again, but you understand why I did it, right?"
He nodded. "Absolutely, Laura. I don't understand why you love me so much that my pain is your pain, but I definitely know that feeling."
Laura smiled weakly. "I do love you that much."
Steve nodded. "I'm starting to see that."
"What filthy things did you say about me?" she asked with a gentle smirk.
Steve looked down and blushed. "I told them your bra size," he admitted bashfully.
Laura chuckled. "That's not so bad."
He felt guilty for embarrassing her, but he knew that he had to power through that feeling because she had every right to know exactly what he had said about her. "Then I told them I like to… make love to you…"
"No surprises there," she shrugged.
"Doggystyle," he continued.
Laura laughed. "Oh, Sweetie…"
"Then we played 'Never Have I Ever', and I told them that I have… made love… to your… bazongas."
Laura blushed. "Was my dad in the room for that?"
"No," Steve promised, "but Eddie was."
"Wow, ok," she laughed. "I did not think you were gonna take it this far."
"I told them I've never worn a rubber."
Laura gasped. "Stop!"
Steve nodded. "I'm so sorry, Pet."
Laura shook her head, still chuckling. "It's ok, Babe… I just can't see any of this coming out of your mouth in front of me, let alone a bunch of jerks at a poker game." She waited for him to continue. "Is that all?" she asked when he didn't.
Steve nodded. "I also told them that we'd never…" Steve froze. He couldn't say that one.
"That we'd never what?" she pressed.
He shook his head. "I can't even say it. We've never done it. Let's leave it at that."
"Huh," Laura said. "That's funny because I told Drake and the guys that I would let you do absolutely anything to me in bed."
Steve raised his eyebrows. "How did that come up?"
"Drake told me you got a little chatty tonight, and I wanted to… knock him down a few pegs."
Steve laughed and snorted. "What did you say?"
"You tell me what we've never done, and I'll tell you what I said," she challenged.
Steve considered it for a moment. "Let's leave it a mystery," he answered eventually.
Laura frowned. "Is it something you wanna do?"
Steve stopped. That was the first time in his life he'd actually considered it. When he used to fantasize about her as a kid, all he thought about was kissing her. Then, as a young adult, the thought of ever being able to enter her… womanhood was more than enough to keep him satisfied, but now that he had that, he had never considered if there was more he really wanted to do. Did he want to have… anal sex? Steve Urkel, king of the dorks, modest beyond modest… Was he seriously considering… butt stuff? He looked at Laura. She was the most beautiful creature in the universe, and there was definitely a part of him that wanted to be intimate with her in every way imaginable, but there was also a part of him that told him that she would think he was a pervert for even considering it. Then there was the part of him that had just stiffened. That part knew that her booty was one of her most attractive features and that it definitely needed to be… He stopped himself from even thinking the next word. "I might want to," he answered, "but I'm not ready yet."
Laura shrugged one shoulder. "Ok. Well, let me know when you are, ok?"
He nodded quickly.
"Hey," she said gently, "so are we ok? Have you… forgiven me?"
Steve smiled. "For sticking your nose where it doesn't belong? Yes."
"Thank you," she purred, leaning closer to him.
"Have you forgiven me for sharing the intimacies of our marriage and going on a drinking binge?"
She chuckled. "I was never upset with you, Boo."
"Good," he smiled. "I'm sorry anyway. That wasn't me, Laura. I don't know who that was."
Laura shook her head. "It's normal to try and fit in, Steve. I put you in a situation you didn't need to be in, and you reacted to it. It's nothing to feel bad about."
"I'm never gonna do it again. From now on, it's Steve Urkel, the classic edition, all the time," he announced.
"That's the only Steve Urkel I want," she promised, kissing his cheek slowly. "Are you ok, Baby? I know you don't want me to interfere, and I won't, but do you still need to be comforted? Are you still mad at my stupid dad and brother? Are we not speaking to them? I need to know what to do next."
"All I want you to do," he promised, "is lay back on the bed. I wanna make love to you."
Laura smiled up at him. "Are you sure?" she pouted.
"Very sure," he replied as he climbed on top of her.
She began to unbutton his shirt while he pulled his pants down to expose himself. "Even though I was such a bad girl today?" she purred.
He smirked at her her and leaned close as he began to touch her all over. "I was a bad boy, too," he purred. "Let's be bad together." She giggled loudly as he began to kiss her neck.
When Eddie arrived home and opened the door, he sighed deeply. He closed the door behind him hard and locked it. Then he moved to the couch and sat down, never bothering to turn on the light. He rested his face in his hands as he contemplated the consequences of his mother's verbal diarrhea.
"Hey," Max said behind him, stepping out of his bedroom in one of his tee-shirts from the academy and a tiny pair of cotton panties.
Eddie turned back to look at her, noticeably surprised. "Hey, Maxine. What are you doin' here?"
"We said we were coming back here," she shrugged, coming up to sit by him on the couch after turning on the lamp on the end table.
Eddie nodded. "Yeah, but that was when I thought we'd be driving together, before you stormed out of Girls' Night. I just spent two hours in the road outside your house, waiting for you to get home."
"You should've called," she shrugged as she pulled her legs up to her side.
"I didn't think you'd answer," he replied.
"Why not?" she asked, cocking her head.
"Because of what my mom said to you," he explained.
Max inhaled sharply, though she tried to hide her discomfort. "Yeah, well, you didn't say it, so I'm not upset with you or anything. It freaked me out for a minute, but I figured it was probably just your mom… being a mom. All they see is sunshine and valentines." She looked away as she said that and began to pull at a loose thread on his shirt.
Eddie paused for a moment. "Yeah. Right, of course." He looked down at his hands and asked, "So we're cool?"
"Sure," she mumbled.
He looked back at her. He reached for her hands, pulling them away from the hem of his old, ratty tee. "Good," he said, "because I really like what we have goin'."
"I do too," she nodded, rubbing her thumbs against the tougher skin of his hands.
"And I don't want you to think that anyone's ever rushing us into something we're not ready for."
"Good," she agreed. "Me neither."
"But my mom was right. I do love you, Maxine Johnson," Eddie said confidently, holding her hands tighter, just in case she tried to run for the hills.
Max's jaw dropped. "What?" she scoffed.
"I love you, Max," he said again, more softly and more timidly this time around.
"Eddie, we've only been together for two months," she reminded him, pulling her hands away from him and tucking them in her armpits as her arms crossed her chest defensively.
"You don't think I know that?" he asked.
"You're acting like you don't!"
"Max, sometimes you just know," he replied.
"No. No, you don't. Sometimes your brain floods with chemicals that feel good, and you think it's permanent, but not everybody can make everybody happy forever. Love is fleeting, and new love is the most blind to that. You don't love me."
"Sometimes you just know," he said again.
"No!"
"Steve knew!" he replied.
"What?" Max asked.
"Steve knew," Eddie continued, desperately trying to justify himself. "Steve knew in kindergarten that Laura was the love of his life. He knew when he knew, and he never wavered. I love you, Max."
Max shook her head at him. "God, you are so transparent sometimes. You don't love me. You want what they have!" she explained.
"That's not it!" he barked defensively.
"It is, Eddie, and I get it. What they have, as weird as it is, looks magical. They're so stupidly happy. I would love to feel as strongly as they do about someone, but that doesn't happen overnight, Eddie. That kind of devotion only comes with time. Steve may have loved her at first sight, but he wasn't this crazy loyal when he was five. If she had started dating him then, they probably would've fought and broken up by recess. Steve and Laura had to learn how to be in each other's lives before they learned how to be friends and before they learned how to be in love. Eddie, if you really want what they have, you can't rush it," she said seriously.
"But you've been in my life for years, Max! Not as long as Steve's been in Laura's, but for years! We've been friends for so long!"
"We weren't friends, Eddie," she corrected. "Laura and I were friends. You and I were… family, like Laura and I were. I knew you'd be there for me whenever I needed you, but we didn't hang out like I did with Laura… or even Steve! I'm better friends with Steve Urkel than I am with you. You don't know me well enough to really love me yet, Eddie."
Eddie frowned deeply. "How can you say I don't know you?"
"How can you say you do?" she challenged.
"Because I do! I know you use milk way past the expiration date shamelessly in you coffee and on cereal. I know you hate Tricia at the salon but pretend you love her. I know you're on the pill but forget to take it all the time, so I still have to wear a condom. I know you say you love old Motown bands, but your idea of Oldies is really 80's R&B. I know you keep all the Chinese food menus that show up on my door, even though you never wanna try a new restaurant. I know-"
"That's what you think it means to know me?" she questioned, growing upset. "You sound like you're reading dumb trivia about a celebrity in a gossip mag. That's all you need to know about a girl to love her?"
"That's not all I know!"
"But that's the kind of stuff you know, Eddie. You don't know why my parents are so unhappy or why they're staying together. You don't know who my first boyfriend was or how that destroyed me when that ended. You don't know what medications I'm on. You don't know how I feel when I look in a mirror. You don't know how dumb I feel when I try to talk to Laura about anything other than boys, clothes, and celebrities. You don't know what my biggest fear is. You don't know how I fell in love with Waldo. You don't know what happened between us when I was seventeen. You don't know how much we both were hurting when it ended. You don't know anything that Waldo knew about me. You don't love me. You can't." She was crying now.
Eddie tried to process all of the information and hints she had just thrown at him, but he couldn't unpack all that now. "Who's fault is that, Maxine? If you think there's more I need to know, you need to open up to me!"
"I'm not ready to do that, Eddie!" she exclaimed. "That's the thing! I haven't opened up to you yet because I'm not there yet, and you're so needle-nosed focused on getting what Steve and Laura have, and getting back to where you were with Greta so you can keep moving forward, that you don't even care. You didn't even notice that you didn't know me yet."
"It's not that I didn't notice that you're closed-off, Max" he claimed. "It's that I know there's nothing you could be hiding that could make me love you any less."
"Fine! Maybe there's not, but you should still care about all of that stuff," she exclaimed.
"I do!" he argued. "I want you to tell me everything there is to know about you."
"If you cared about all that stuff, you wouldn't say you loved me yet because you'd know that you need to know and love all that stuff as much as you love the stupid shallow stuff in order to love me right."
"I will love all of it. I promise," he said, reaching a hand out to her. "You just have to tell me."
"I'm not ready for that," she said, shaking her head seriously and wiping her tears. "Our relationship isn't ready for that."
"Max," he said seriously, "where is this going? What do you want in the future?"
Max squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. "I don't know, Eddie. You know I haven't had anything real since Waldo."
"I know, but do you want something real? Do you want to get married and have kids someday?"
"That's so far down the line…"
"No, I know that. I just mean, whether it's with me or not, is that something you want in life?"
Max hesitated. "I don't know, honestly."
Eddie frowned deeply. "Then what are we doin'?" he demanded. "Are you gonna do what Greta did? Mess around with me for years and then suddenly ditch me because you can't see a future with me?"
"No, Eddie. I don't wanna do that to you, I just… I don't know if I want… kids," she replied nervously, looking away from him again.
"What? Why not?"
"Not every woman wants kids, Eddie," she snarled.
"Right," he agreed. "I know that, but you love kids."
Max sighed. "I do, but it's complicated."
He moved closer to her and took her hand. "It doesn't have to be. I love you. I wanna keep dating you. Someday, we may wanna get married, and if we get married, we can buy a little house on a nice block. We can start a family. Give Steve and Laura's weird, nerdy kids someone to play with."
Max chuckled. "It's that simple to you, isn't it? Love. Marriage. Babies."
"If that's what you want. I know that's what I want."
"Oh, to be a Winslow," she mumbled bitterly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded, leaning back in offense.
"It's not that easy for everyone, Eddie. Some people don't have families like yours. Some people have parents like Steve's who neglected him or parents like mine who can't stand each other. There are plenty of reasons not to start a family."
"Max, I think you gotta enlighten me here because you're right. My family is TV perfect, and I just don't see what could be so bad about you and me makin' babies down the road."
Max took a deep breath. "Look, this isn't a conversation I expected to have so early on, but because you can't keep your big, dumb, moony eyes to yourself, I guess I have to tell you something. I don't tell anybody this. The only person who knows this is Waldo. I think Laura maybe has an inkling, but we have some kind of unspoken rule that says never to talk about it."
"What is it, Max? You're scaring me," Eddie said.
"My mom has clinical depression. She has… for as long as I can remember. It comes, and it goes. She's medicated for a while; then she's not. That's why my dad won't leave, because she's sick. That's why they can't just be happy, because sometimes she just can't be. When I was a kid, sometimes she would go weeks without getting out of bed. She's missed dozens of birthday parties and dance recitals and cheer tournaments because the world is just too much for her sometimes. I'm just too much for her sometimes."
Eddie slowly wrapped an arm around her as she struggled to hold back her tears. "I'm so sorry, Max. I had no idea." Eddie felt her shoulders tense under his loving touch.
"The things is, Eddie… I have it, too," she said determinedly. "It never seems to hit me as hard as her, but I have depression. There have been days when I couldn't eat or drink or get out of bed. I haven't had a really bad month since Waldo left, because that was hard obviously. Since then, my meds have been rebalanced, and I'm ok, but there's no guarantee that I'm always gonna be ok."
"Wow," Eddie said eventually, not that that even began to sum up his feelings. "And Waldo's the only one who knows that? You've never talked to Laura about it?"
"Waldo and my parents. That's it. I think that's actually why I fell for Waldo. He was so easy to talk to about that stuff. First, the stuff with my mom. Then when it started to affect me. I mean, I love Laura, but she's a fixer. She just can't stand it when things aren't ok, and I knew this was something she couldn't just fix. Waldo was different. He didn't try to fix anything when I was sad. He didn't try to fix me. He just spent time with me, and he was just his dumb, goofy, lovable self whether we were out at a party, having the time of our lives, or cuddled in my bed after I'd gone 12 days without a shower. He was just Waldo, no matter the circumstances, and that's why he was so easy to love."
Eddie grew a little uncomfortable as she rambled on and on about his former best friend. They usually didn't talk much about him because it made them both uncomfortable, but he realized in that moment that he was going to have to understand her relationship with Waldo in order to understand her. It was a formative time in her life. "That makes a lot of sense, actually," he admitted, rubbing her shoulder. "I've never understood why you were with him for so long, but I guess that explains a lot."
Max pursed her lips. "Yeah," she said eventually.
"You're right, Maxine. I should be asking more questions. I should be trying to get to know you more intimately."
"No, Eddie," she grumbled. "I don't want you to do that. I just don't want you to have unrealistic expectations of me. I may never be ready to have kids because I don't want my kids to have a childhood like mine. I wanna be a mom, but I don't wanna be a mom who misses a single dance recital because she just… can't. I wanna be a good mom, or I don't wanna do it."
Eddie nodded. "Ok, so what are you saying? That it's never or that it's maybe never."
"Maybe never," she answered eventually, "but I don't wanna string you along, Eddie. If you wanna keep doing this, you have to accept the fact that you might never be a dad."
"But I'll get to be a husband? Someday?"
Max hesitated. "If you'd still be willing to be my husband after spending some time getting to know the real me, if you'd be willing to deal with expensive therapy bills and the occasional breakdown… You know, and if I still want you after all that, then yeah. I wanna get married someday."
Eddie smiled softly. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I'll take it," he purred, grabbing her left hand and lacing his fingers through hers. "Thank you for sharing with me tonight."
"Thank you for sharing with me," she replied, "but your thing was dumb. You're a romantic idiot."
Eddie grinned at her. "I've been called worse."
"I bet you have," she teased.
He grabbed her cheeks and pulled her in for a long, deep kiss. "I love you, Maxine Johnson," he said. He saw her facial expression change, but he didn't let go of her. He brushed his thumbs against her velvety cheeks. "You don't have to say it back until you feel it, but I'm never gonna stop saying it."
Max rolled her eyes but couldn't suppress the small grin on her full lips. "Ok, Eddie Urkel," she joked.
He laughed and kissed her again. "Let's go to bed," he said, lifting her into his arms from her seated position and standing easily from the couch.
She laughed loudly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well, I guess I don't have much of a choice," she laughed as he walked her back to his bedroom.
When Laura woke up the next morning, Steve was nowhere to be seen. She climbed out of bed and slipped on his shirt from the night before. Then she walked into the office when she heard him dropping things.
"Dagnabbit!" he exclaimed as he bent to pick up his dry erase marker again.
"Morning," she yawned as she entered.
"Good morning, Light of My Life. How are you today?"
"I'm good," she replied, walking over to where he was standing and turning to see what was scribbled on the dry erase board in front of him. "What are you up to?"
Steve smiled. "I'm coming up with a new budget to fit my new salary."
Laura raised her eyebrows. "Really? You're gonna take the job?"
"Yes, my pet," he answered, leaning forward and adding another row labeled, "Lingerie".
Laura chuckled as she noticed what he'd written. "What made you decide to take the leap?" she asked.
Steve capped his marker and turned back to her. "I wanna be somewhere where I'm truly wanted," he replied. "If Waterton is poaching me, he wants me."
Laura pursed her lips and nodded. It wasn't the outcome she had expected, but if that was what he wanted... "All right," she nodded again. "I'll let you get back to it then."
"Not so fast," he said, grabbing her by the hips and lifting her onto the desk behind them. He leaned in and kissed her. "We need to go out and celebrate tonight," he purred as he began to nibble on the silky skin of her neck.
Laura giggled. "Yeah?" she purred. "Mmm… Whatever you want, Baby," she replied as he landed in just the right spot.
"I thought I could take you shopping and then out for a very expensive dinner."
"Yes, please," she cooed.
He laughed and snorted, biting her neck harder. "Mm. You are so sexy," he whispered.
"So are you, Mr. Confident," she replied.
"Maybe we need to celebrate a little this morning, too," he whispered, slipping his fingers into her womanhood.
Since they were up so late, Max slept in. She woke when she heard the shower turning off. She rolled out of bed, still completely naked, and stretched. She slipped Eddie's tee back on and walked into the bathroom. "Morning," she said as he stepped out of the shower.
"Morning," he purred walking up behind her and wrapping her in his arms. He kissed her neck over and over as she leaned back into it.
Finally, she met his eyes in the mirror. "You still wanna get real with me?" she asked.
"Definitely," he replied, tensing slightly.
She stepped away from him and went to her makeup bag sitting nicely on the counter. She pulled out a pillbox as if she were an old lady. She opened the tab for Saturday. She pulled out four pills in two different shapes and colors and held them in her hand. She showed them to him. "Antidepressant one: two pills in the morning. Antidepressant two: one pill in the morning and one at night," she explained. "I've actually never been on birth control. That's just my go-to lie when someone catches me taking these, and I didn't think it through when I told you they were birth control pills. Then I just had to come up with something, so I said I always forgot to take them, so you still had to wear a condom."
"Wow. I'm kind of an idiot," Eddie said.
"Kinda," Max said, placing three pills in her mouth and setting the other one back in its spot for tonight. She filled a paper cup with water and drank it, swallowing the pills. "But you're my idiot," she smiled.
Steve did just as he promised. They celebrated a couple of times that morning. He finished their new budget. He took her on a fabulous date that included tons of new clothes and lobster. Then they celebrated again to finish their evening. He fell asleep with his mind completely at ease, thrilled to have finally made a decision.
However, Sunday, they both knew, wouldn't be as comfortable.
However, Sunday, they both knew, wouldn't be as comfortable.
"Do you wanna skip it?" she offered hesitantly as he stepped out of the shower.
"No," he replied, wrapping a towel around his waist. "I wanna see your mom and 3J and anybody else who makes it. I can handle the Winslow men. I'm still pretty used to their rejection, even if I'm starting to tolerate it a bit less."
"Ok," she agreed, plugging in her curling iron. "If you're sure."
When Steve and Laura arrived at Sunday night dinner, they were the first to show up. They walked in the backdoor, holding hands as they often did. Only Carl and Harriette were in the kitchen.
"Hey, guys," Laura said, letting go of Steve's hand to hug both her parents hello.
"Hi, Honey," Harriette replied.
"Oh, hey, Sweetheart," Carl said, kissing her cheek.
Steve walked up to Harriette and kissed her cheek. "Hi, Mom!" he chirped.
"Hi, Baby," she replied, pinching his cheek affectionately.
"Hey, Big Guy," Steve said, smiling softly.
Carl relaxed slightly. So they were at least speaking. That was a good sign. "Hey, Pal!" Carl said, forcing it a little too much.
Steve made a face and then turned back to Harriette. "You need any help, Mom?"
"No, Steve, I got it. Relax. Have a seat." She paused for a moment. "Grab a beer," she chuckled.
Steve frowned, and Laura noticed immediately. "Mom!" she scolded sharply.
Steve reached out and pulled Laura against him. "Oh, relax, Sugar Plum. Very funny, Harriette, but I'll be sticking with Sprite tonight," he said with a smile that only Laura could tell was insincere.
She leaned into him and placed a hand on his chest. She looked up at him meaningfully, begging him with her eyes to let her intervene, but she didn't get the go-ahead.
Steve kissed her forehead and walked over to the fridge. He leaned in and grabbed a Sprite. "Anybody else want anything?"
Harriette and Carl replied that they were all set, but Laura didn't say a word. She was standing behind the kitchen island, chewing her thumbnail.
"What about you, Baby?" he cooed. "Need a bubbly, refreshing soda to wet those soft, rosy lips?"
Laura smiled softly at his flirty attitude. "No thank you, Honey," she replied, taking a seat at the kitchen table. She relaxed slightly as he did. It was a poor joke. That was all. He came back and sat next to her at the table. She placed a hand affectionately on his thigh as the conversation in the room picked up.
Eddie and Max walked in a while later. Max was carrying a bottle of red wine.
"Hey, everybody," Eddie said, walking in to greet his parents. He walked up to Harriette first. "Hey, Ma," he said, kissing her cheek.
"Hey, Eddie," she replied. She hugged him and whispered in his ear, "Everything ok?"
He nodded as he pulled away from her.
As he did, Max looked back at them. She slipped away from Laura with the bottle in hand and walked up to Harriette meekly. "Mrs. Winslow?" she began.
"Yes, Max?"
"I'd really like to apologize for skipping out on you Friday night. I brought us a little wine so the three of us could try to redo girls' night tonight?" she proposed.
"Don't worry about it, Max," she said, accepting the bottle. She looked around to make sure everyone else was occupied elsewhere. "I'm sorry about what I said," she admitted.
"Don't be," Max pressed, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "Eddie and I had a really good talk because of it."
"I'm glad," Harriette grinned brightly. She pursed her lips. "Well, I'll open this up and pour a few glasses," she said.
Max smiled and nodded. She turned to walk away but froze as Harriette spoke again.
"Maxine?"
"Yeah?" she asked, turning back to her.
"Would you like to have lunch with me sometime?" she offered. "On me."
Max smiled softly. "I'd really like that… Harriette."
It was only the six of them that night. Even 3J was staying over at Rachel and Richie's new apartment. They sat down to a lovely meal filled with lively familial talk. They were all relieved it was going so well. Steve was even starting to accept the fact that maybe this was just his family. It was a wonderful family that he was glad to be a part of, and he didn't have to keep pushing his luck the way he often did. He loved spending time like this with them. This was all he really needed.
When the meal was over, Eddie stood and went to the fridge for another beer. He paused at the open door and turned back to the table. "Hey, Steve? You want a beer?" he cackled, leaning forward as he laughed at his own joke.
Steve tensed again. Then he replied curtly, "No thank you, Eddo."
Laura pouted at him and placed her hand on his thigh under the table.
Max looked back at Eddie. "What is so funny? You know Steve doesn't drink."
"Oh, he does now," Carl chuckled slightly. "He drank half a bottle at that poker game."
Max grinned and turned back to Steve. "Good for you, Steve."
Laura felt the need to stop them. "Guys, maybe we don't need to talk about that g-"
"No, it's fine, Laura. Let 'em get it all out."
"Oh, we gettin' it all out?" Eddie asked as he sat at the table again. "Oh, then in that case, I cannot believe you would rather have sex with Tyra Banks than my sister!"
Laura raised an eyebrow at him. "E'cu'e me?" she asked in vintage Urkel fashion.
Steve turned to her quickly. "Oh, no, Sweetheart," he replied nervously. "I married you."
"Well, maybe that's just because Tyra Banks never expressed any interest!"
"No, no, no," he corrected. "In the game. I married you in the game we were playing. You know… Canoodle, Marry, Kill?"
Laura relaxed slightly. "Oh… So really, you would rather marry me and have sex with me and kill Tyra and…"
"Halle Berry," Eddie finished for her.
"If that's what it took," Steve promised.
"Wow, Steve, you sure got wild last night, huh?" Max laughed.
"Oh, that ain't the half of it," Eddie laughed as Steve shrunk slightly. "Whenever Dad was out of the room, he would regale us with tales from his bedroom."
Carl's brow furrowed. "You did?" he barked.
Laura jumped in immediately. The last thing she needed was for her husband and her father to be at each other's throats again over what she decided to do in the bedroom. "Guys, c'mon, let's just drop this, ok? Nobody had a good night last night. Let's just let it go."
"No, Laura," Steve said firmly. He looked up at Carl and Eddie. "Obviously, this is on their minds for a reason, and they're right to bring it up. Big Guy? Eddo? I think I owe you both an apology."
"No, you don't, Steve," Laura pressed.
"I do," Steve insisted. "Last night, knowing that neither of you really wanted me at that game, I was feeling really insecure, and I was in survival mode, like a chameleon. I wanted to be invited to more Guys' Nights, so I did anything I could to fit in, and I kind of lost myself in the process. I'm sorry I made you both uncomfortable. I know I'm not just one of the guys. I'm sorry for pushing it."
Carl and Eddie exchanged a glance.
"Steve," Eddie began uncomfortably, "c'mon, man. We were just messin' around. It's no big deal. You don't need to give us a speech about it."
Carl wiped his hands on his napkin and stood. "Boys," he announced, "we're goin' out to clean the grill."
Steve looked down at the table. "Carl, I don't think I really feel like it right now."
"C'mon, Steve," Carl said gently. "Let's go."
With that, he led the men out to the backyard while their women shared a nervous glance before they began to clear the table.
When they made it out back, Carl opened the grill and got to work. "Steve, I'm sorry we didn't invite you in the first place. We were just using our cop brains, and we missed the big picture."
Steve shook his head. "No, I'm sorry Laura made you invite me. She and I fought about that a lot last night. I don't need to be included in everything you guys do."
"But you should be, Steve," Carl argued. "You are one of the guys."
"Oh, no, I'm not, Carl," Steve said dejectedly as he sat on a piece of patio furniture in the backyard. "When I try to act like me, I annoy you guys and your friends. When I try to act like Eddie's dumb friends, I make you both uncomfortable. I can't win. I'm your in-law, and I don't think I can be your friend, too. That's ok, though. I love being your family," Steve concluded.
"Steve, that's not true," Eddie finally spoke. "You're our friend. We were just messin' with you. We weren't uncomfortable last night."
"I heard you guys," Steve explained, "before I stormed out last night. I know you weren't exactly enjoying my new… tough guy persona."
Eddie snickered. "That was your tough guy persona?"
Steve glared at him.
"Steve," Carl continued, "we just wanted you to be yourself."
"Oh, so that was better? When I was talking about probability and teaching you all math?" he challenged.
"Well," Carl squeaked.
"Exactly," Steve said firmly.
"Look, Steve," Carl continued, "cops are supposed to look out for our brothers in blue. That's why we do extra things like poker games and why we have a bar that's usually just for us. We have to know these men and women have our backs on the street, so we have to build relationships to save our lives." He paused for a moment to let that sink in. "However, that doesn't mean that we should forget about our actual brothers… and sons. Maybe I didn't want you at this game, but I never should have uninvited you. That was cruel, but, Steve, you need to understand that just because I don't invite you to everything, doesn't mean I don't wanna spend time with you."
Steve raised his eyebrows. "You wanna spend time with me?"
"Of course, I do," he said firmly.
"Even without Laura around?"
"Yeah, Steve. We should set up a guys' night. Just the three of us," Carl said as Eddie nodded in agreement.
"Ok," Steve agreed nervously. He didn't feel like he could trust this bridge he was crossing, but there was a little boy in him that just couldn't resist trying to get to the treasure on the other side.
"How about the first Thursday of every month, we go out for a drink after work?" Carl proposed.
"I'd like that," Steve agreed.
They glanced at Eddie. "Why not?" he shrugged.
"Then it's a deal," Carl nodded. "That being said, Steve, if you still wanna come to our poker game, you're more than welcome, as long as you're yourself."
"Really?" Steve asked, furrowing his brow.
"Oh, yeah," Carl agreed. "Once you're in, you're in. There's nothing more important to men than loyalty."
Steve swallowed hard at that word. Suddenly, his mind wandered away from the men in front of him to another pair he was betraying. "You think?"
"Definitely. There's no more defining trait. You never turn your back on someone, unless they've really wronged you."
Steve tugged at his collar. "Right," he said.
"But I wouldn't worry much about that, Steve. You're the most loyal man I know," Carl said as he closed the grill and slipped his supplies under the sink. "So are we good? Ready to go back inside?"
"Sure," Steve said as he stood, his stomach churning for an entirely new reason. His mind began to wander as he followed the men back inside.
When they walked in, the women had already helped themselves to Hariette's cheesecake. Carl and Eddie served themselves as Steve sat next to Laura again.
Laura looked at the distance in his eyes and leaned into him. "Everything ok?"
Steve looked almost surprised to hear her speak. "Yeah. We're all good. We set up a new Guys' night, just the three of us," he explained.
"And you're ok with that? You look a little…" She pursed her lips as she tried to find the right word.
"I'm fine, Sweetheart," he promised, forcing a half smile.
She placed a hand on his thigh and let it go, realizing he wasn't going to talk about it in front of everybody else. She placed a bit of cake on her fork and moved it up to his mouth. He smiled at her gently and opened wide for her to feed him.
He moaned softly as she slipped the fork out and leaned up to taste his sugary lips. "Mmm…"