The door to the Mess hall opened. A group of five people walked into the dining hall. It was Commander Hange and her squad. Her squad members walked right to the end of of the hall to get food. Clarissa paused eating and looking over at Commander Hange.
"What are you loo-" Armin started then he saw Commander Hange. "I thought you were lying when you said Commander Hange was coming to get you."
"I hardly lie." Clarissa said still watching Commander Hange. She walked across the hall to where Captain Levi was sitting. Levi stood up and they both walk out of the Mess hall.
"What do you mean hardly?" Eren asked. With Commander Hange and Captain Levi gone Clarissa looked over at Eren.
"We all lie sometimes. I just happen to not know when I am lying." Clarissa said taking a sip of water.
"What do you mean?" Armin asked. Clarissa put down the cup.
"I say I don't have any siblings, or parents." All three of them nod. "I could very well have siblings and parents. I just wouldn't know." Clarissa said.
"It's not lying if you don't know the truth." Mikasa said. Clarissa nodded in thought.
"I guess." Clarissa said slowly. The door to the Mess hall opened again. Captain Levi and Commander Hange walked back into the Mess hall. Captain Levi goes back to his table and Commander Hange walked up to Clarissa.
"Hey Clarissa. When you are done eating get your trunk and meet me outside. There is a cart sitting out front." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded, before she could say anything Commander Hange almost ran away to the higher ups table.
"You really are leaving us! When can we see you next?" Eren asked. Clarissa looked back at him.
"When you come to the new base. Which is in about two weeks." Clarissa said taking another bite of her eggs. They go on talking. Clarissa gets lost in her thoughts.
What was Commander Hange's role in this? Why did Clarissa have to go with her? Of course Clarissa would never complain, but that didn't get rid of the thought. She was the scientist of the Survey Corps. Maybe she was good at questioning people, because if so, they were smart by getting Clarissa to spend time with her.
Clarissa isn't hiding anything, that she knows of, if Commander Hange manages to get information out of her Clarissa would be thankful for it. If being interrogated every second of the day helps bring up memories she would life her whole life like that. But what if there was some memories she didn't want to be brought up? There was a reason she lost her memory. Did she lose her memory because she went through a traumatic experience and it was too hard to bear the the memory? If that was the case why would she ever want to remember?
When Clarissa finished eating she went straight to her room and left the dishes for someone else to pick up. Once Clarissa got to her room she looked over to make sure she got everything. Then she checked in the trunk to make sure she had everything. Her uniform, and notebook were there. That is all that mattered. She picked it up and when she turned around Armin was standing in the doorway. She nearly dropped the trunk on her feet.
"Oh, sorry." Armin said with a smile. Clarissa nodded accepting the apology then she walked towards the door. Armin moved out of the way as she approached him.
"Are you coming to say your last goodbyes?" Clarissa joked walking down the hallway.
"I am coming to say goodbye, yes." Armin said falling in step with Clarissa.
"So what are you going to be doing when I am gone?" Clarissa asked walking outside.
"Tomorrow the extra training starts. We will be learning about the formations for the expedition in a couple of months." Armin said. Clarissa nodded and placed the trunk onto the cart. The cart only held one crate. Probably full of emergency medical supplies for the travel. The horses were probably taking a rest in the stables waiting to head off.
"I hope to learn something in the next two weeks, but I can't be sure about it. I will probably be busy answering Commander Hange's questions." Clarissa said leaning back against the cart.
"Why do you have to go anyway?" Armin asked. Clarissa sighed and looked down at her feet. She straightened up and squared her shoulders.
"They are worried about my past. The fact that I don't know it. Or the fact that there aren't any documents on me being adopted. Commander Erwin didn't tell me exactly what it was about. I am only guessing that they think I am traitor of some sort." Clarissa said and looked back up at Armin.
"That would make sense." Armin said slowly, taking time to think. "But I don't think they should connect not having adoption papers to being a traitor."
"Well I am not sure they are actually accusing me of being a traitor. It is just a guess." Clarissa said with a shrug. The door to the base opened and Commander Hange came walking out drawing the attention of both Armin and Clarissa.
"They you are!" Commander Hange said with a wide smile. "My squad is getting some supplies. We can go get the horses ready for when they get back." Commander Hange said standing beside the two. Clarissa turned to Armin.
"See you later, then." Clarissa said. Armin smiled and nodded.
"See you!" Armin turned around and walked away. Clarissa turned to Commander Hange.
"Let's go get our horses ready." Commander Hange said with a smile. Clarissa nodded and saluted to her before they both made their way to the stables. Once they got there there were six horses.
"Will you be teaching me the new formations?" Clarissa asked taking the horse she was assigned out of its stall.
"No, when Captain Levi comes to the new base he will catch up on what you missed." Commander Hange said taking her horse of its stall. Clarissa nodded, and started to saddle the horse.
"What made you join the military?" Commander Hange asked as she readied her horse. Clarissa sighed, the questioning is already starting not even after ten minutes of being around her. Before she responds she thinks about all the ways she can answer. The short honest way or the long honest way. She was trying to clear herself of whatever they were accusing her for. So she answered with the long way.
"I had no reason to live. No reason to do anything. Had no family to look after, or to look after me. So I joined the military because I had nothing." Clarissa said running her hand along the horses mane.
"Had?" Commander Hange asked turning to look at Clarissa.
Crap, Clarissa thought. I guess there is a reason of why she was chosen to question me.
"I don't know. There are some memories I am getting back." Clarissa said her back towards Commander Hange. She could tell Commander Hange is walking towards her. Before she gets any closer Clarissa decides to say everything. "I have a couple of memories with me and two other younger girls. I don't know how I knew them. I don't even know if they are alive." Clarissa turned and Commander was standing before her.
"Do they look like they are related to you?" Commander Hange asked crossing her arms. Clarissa closed her eyes to pretend like she was looking for the image. But the truth was, she couldn't get the look of their faces out of her mind and she was just stalling.
"No, they look related though. They both have brown hair and green eyes." Clarissa said opening her eyes. Commander Hange nodded then turned to her horse.
"We should get back to the cart. We might need to help." Commander Hange said walking past Clarissa, her horse following beside her. Clarissa nodded to herself then followed her. She was saved from more questions from the person that was actually asking the questions. This may be more annoying than she expected. Commander Hange can ask important questions so casually. How does she not investigate murders like that? She would definitely be good to the Military Police.
They walk out of the stables and two soldiers are walking out of the building holding two crates each. Clarissa hurried her step and she got to the cart.
"Let me help." Clarissa said jumping onto the cart. The first person walks up to the cart. Clarissa grabs the crates from her arms and places them down on the cart.
"Thank you." She said as Clarissa helped with the other person.
"No problem." Clarissa said. She jumped off of the cart and grabbed onto her horse. Once she got back to her horse she noticed that Commander Hange's eyes never left her.
"Is there anything that you enjoy doing in your freetime?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa looked at her stunned by the simplicity of the question.
"Nothing," Clarissa replied jumping onto her horse. Commander Hange followed and jumped onto her horse.
"So you don't do anything outside of training?" Commander Hange asked.
"I read." Clarissa answered simply.
"What do you read?" Commander Hange asked.
"Lyrics." Clarissa said. Commander Hange smiled.
"Who wrote them?"
"What is the purpose of this?" Clarissa asked. Commander Hange almost smiled more.
"I am getting to know you! I want to learn about you. So who wrote the lyrics?" She asked again. Clarissa sighed giving in.
"I did, my past self. I read all of the lyrics I wrote, hoping it would give me some of my past back to me." Clarissa said looking down at her hands holding the reins.
"Did you get any of your memories back from reading it?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa's hands tightened around the reins.
"One, and please, I would prefer not to share it with you. It is one of the only memories I have about my childhood. It would be nice to keep it to myself." Clarissa said.
"Alright, are you guys ready to go?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa looked up and the four of Commander Hange's squad were walking their horses up to the two of them.
"I just have to get the horse attached to the cart then we can go." One of them said walking up to the cart. The other three jumped onto their horses. Clarissa just looked down at her hands waiting to leave.
After about ten minutes of random chatter they finally start moving. Clarissa is just thankful that while they ride Commander Hange wouldn't be able to question her. It is about a four or five hour ride for them to get to the base.
When they got to the base Clarissa brought her trunk up to her room. Once she was in her room she took the notebook out of the trunk. Then she sat down on her bed and opened the book.
She took time to flip each page. Making sure that she didn't miss anything. Clarissa got stuck reading one page. She never really spent time reading that one. The lyrics are dark, very dark. Clarissa had always just looked past it, because someone else must have written it. But now she could see the writing similarities.
Clarissa started humming the words off of the page. The words came naturally, she didn't even have to read the words to sing it. Clarissa's eyes closed as she sang. Suddenly a memory flashed through her mind.
The older girl laying at the bottom of the stairs. Her hair matted to the back of her head. Her eyes are closed, but tears dried onto her face. Her leg is twisted in a way that no leg should move. The bone from her arm poking out of her skin.
In the background is a blood curdling scream of a young child. "Mommy what did you do to Alina?!" The girl yells between her cries.
Clarissa's breath quickens and she stopped singing. Tears begin to flow down her cheeks. Clarissa tries her best to stop them, but she failed. The tears landed on the white sheet beneath her. She breathed in a large breath before she screamed.
The sound of feet running outside of her room is muffled out by her cries. There is a knock on her door. But she can't hear it through her cries. The door swung open and Commander Hange walked into the room.
"What happened?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa stopped crying momentarily and stood up.
"I have to go. She is hurt, I have to help her!" Clarissa yelled running to the door. Commander Hange stopped her from leaving the room.
"Who? Who is hurt?" Commander Hange asked.
"I don't know! The… the girl in my memories, she was laying at the bottom of stairs. She was bleeding, her arm, and leg, they looked broken." Clarissa said shaking her head. Commander Hange held onto her arms and moved her back to her bed. They both sat down.
"Do you know what happened?" Commander Hange asked.
"With what?" Clarissa asked wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
"The girl." Clarissa nodded.
"I don't know. There was another girl there. She was… I think their mother did it." Commander Hange's eyes widened for a moment.
"What exactly did she say?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa brought her legs up to her chest.
"She said, 'Mommy, what did you do to Alina?'" Clarissa said putting her head on her knees.
"Do you think the other girl's name is Alina?" Commander Hange asked.
"Who else would she be talking about. You don't understand!" Clarissa stood up quickly. "She was laying at the bottom of the stairs. I could the bone coming out of her arm! Her leg was twisted backwards! This is not the time to talk about what her name might be! She could be dead!" Clarissa yelled. Commander Hange stood up from the bed slowly.
"You lived in Shiganshina, right?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa nodded. "I could contact Eren. His father was a doctor that lived in that area. Maybe he treated her."
"No, Mrs. Lilith would never get a doctor." Clarissa said. Her eyes widened. Commander Hange kept a straight face.
"Who is Mrs. Lilith?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa stood completely still.
"I don't know, it just came out." Clarissa said. Commander Hange nodded.
"Okay, we should start preparing for supper. Come help me." Commander Hange said walking out of her room. Clarissa nodded and looked down at the notebook that held the lyrics. She took a deep breath before she walked out of her room.