"Everdeen, could you bring the sheets up to the second floor?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa nodded and stepped away from the table of vegetables she was chopping. Clarissa saluted to Commander Hange then she went to the sink to wash her hands.
"Do you know what your birth last name is?" Commander Hange asked as she began to chop the vegetables Clarissa was just chopping.
"Yeah, Ackerman." Clarissa said. Her eyes widened and she dried off her hands.
"Ackerman?" Commander Hange asked turning around. Clarissa turned around and nodded.
"Yes, Ackerman. Yesterday I was reading through some of the lyrics and the name just popped into my head. I don't if it actually my last name. But that is closest you are going to get." Clarissa said with a shrug.
"Do you think I can look at the lyrics?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa paused thinking.
"I prefer not, but if it is an order I cannot say no." Clarissa said.
"No, it's okay. Could you just bring the sheets upstairs? The rest of the Survey Corps will be here soon." Clarissa saluted and walked to the door.
"Do you think you can keep the whole 'Ackerman' thing for the higher-ups only?" Clarissa asked looking back at Commander Hange.
"Of course. I won't be able to tell them until the morning meeting tomorrow. We can talk about it the morning." She said. Clarissa nodded.
"I will bring the sheets upstairs now." Clarissa said. She turned and walked out of the room. Then she walked down the hallway to a back room. There was a pile of sheets sitting on a table. Clarissa picked it up and walked up the stars.
Last night when Clarissa was reading over the lyrics a name popped into her head: Clarissa Ackerman. It could be anyone's name. But it could also mean that her actual last name was Ackerman. If so, where did Everdeen come from? So far she was still adopted. Maybe the family that adopted her had the last name Everdeen? There is no way to be sure.
Clarissa got up to the top floor, west wing, and she walked down the west wing hallway. Just as Clarissa got there a girl came walking out of a room. Once the girl saw Clarissa she paused and her eyes widened.
"Oh, thank you. I just used the last of the sheets." She said. She had long brown hair. It is curled slightly at the end. Her eyes are bright and blue. Clarissa nodded and handed the pile of sheets to her.
"No problem. Do you need any help? I don't have anything else I have to do right now." Clarissa said. The girl looked around thinking about what to say.
"Uhm, you can help with cleaning the windows. I am supposed to do it, but the person that was supposed to do the sheets got sick." She said with a smile.
"I will help with that then." Clarissa said. The girl nodded a thank you then walked away to another room. Clarissa walked over to a table full of cleaning supplies. She picked up the supplies for cleaning the windows and she walked into a room and started to clean.
She cleaned for the rest of the day until supper. The rest of the military was supposed to be at the new base by supper. But it is already supper and they haven't arrived. Commander Hange comes walking into the Mess hall.
"Everdeen, could you go outside and watch out for when the rest of the Survey Corps. Come and tell me when you can see them." Commander Hange asked. Clarissa nodded and stood up. She saluted then walked out of the base.
Once she was outside she sat down in a small flower field outside of the base. She ran her hands through the flowers. She picked up a red rose and looked over it. Clarissa smiled as a memory flashed through her mind.
A young girl run through a field full of red roses. She kneels down and picks one of the roses and holds it in her young hands. Another girl, which now has a name, Alina kneels down beside the little girl.
"Let me put it in your hair." Alina says taking the flower from the young girl and putting it in her hair behind her ear.
"Pretty!" The youngest smiled.
Clarissa looked up and she could see a group of horses and carts riding towards her. She stood up and walked into the base. Commander Hange was walking past but she paused when she say Clarissa.
"I can see them on the horizon. They should be here in twenty to thirty minutes." Clarissa said. Commander Hange smiled and nodded.
"Thank you. You can go to the Mess hall and wait there." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded and saluted. Commander Hange walked away. Clarissa sighed and walked into the Mess hall and sat down.
When she sat she noticed that she was still holding the rose. She looked down at it and twirled it in her fingers. She pulls off the petals one by one looking intently at each one. Hoping that each petal would somehow turn into a memory.
The flower already gave her a memory, so it was futile attempt to try and get another memory from it. It was just memories. She lived through it. So why can't she remember it? Why can't she remember anything?
But what would she do if she found out that she actually had a boyfriend. Or watched someone die. What if she killed someone? Why would she want to know that she killed someone? If she did, that would be best hidden. Right?
The doors to the Mess hall swung open and a group of people came walking in. Clarissa didn't take time to look over because she was too busy looking over all the petals.
"Clarissa! You aren't dead!" A voice called. Clarissa looked up and Eren was standing across from the table. Mikasa was standing right beside him.
"I wasn't planning on dying. Were you hoping for me to die?" Clarissa joked. Eren smiled lightly.
"Armin told me you were going to be questioned. You don't like to talk about yourself that much. So I thought all the questions would kill you." Eren said sitting down at the table. Clarissa raised her eyebrows.
"I definitely did not enjoy it. But it didn't kill me." Clarissa said. She picked up the rose petals then threw them onto Eren.
"What was that for?" Eren asked taking a pedal off of his head. Clarissa smiled slightly and shrugged.
"That is for thinking I can't deal with being asked questions." Clarissa said with a smile. Armin came walking over to the table and sat down beside Clarissa.
"Why does Eren have rose petals all over him?" Armin asked. Eren smiled a little and looked to Clarissa for her to answer. She shook her head.
"Clarissa did it because she is pissed that Eren thought she couldn't handle questioning." Mikasa said. Armin nodded.
"So did she get anything?" Armin asked. Clarissa froze. She contemplated telling them, but she chose against it.
"No," Clarissa said. Clarissa stood up. "I will be sitting out on supper for tonight." Clarissa said then she walked out of the Mess hall while a group of people were entering. As Clarissa walked she could feel someone following her. She looked behind herself to see Armin following her.
"If you follow me, could you tell me so I don't feel like someone is stalking me." Clarissa said pausing for Armin to catch up with her.
"Sorry, I just don't want you to be alone." Armin said as they began to walk again.
"I am fine, but thank you." Clarissa said as they rounded a corner.
"Come on Allessandra, we are going to be late for supper." A person said as they passed the two. Clarissa stopped walking and her eyes widened.
"Clarissa, are you okay?" Armin asked. Clarissa stood still. Tears began to well in her eyes. She took a large breath in and she placed her hand on her chest.
"Clarissa?!" Armin asked more urgently. Clarissa tried to keep standing. Her knees are weak beneath her. She kept gasping for air, but not getting any breath in.
"Clarissa, I am going to get help. It's going to be okay!" Armin said and he ran away the other way. The room began to spin around her. She fell against the wall. She leans up against the wall to try to keep her standing.
Clarissa takes in one more breath before her knees buckle and she falls to the ground. Before she falls into the black abyss of unconsciousness she hears the sound of pounding footsteps coming around the corner. She can see only boots as they round the corner. Before she can look more at who they are her eyes close and she faded into the warm, welcoming, unconsciousness.
The curtains ruffled as the breeze came in from the window. The breeze brushes over Clarissa and her eyes flutter open. Her eyes move around the room examining it. It is a medical room. There is a dresser sitting on one side of the room. The bed lays across from it.
"Clarissa, you are awake?" A voice asked. Clarissa looked over to where the voice came from. In the corner there was a large plush chair. Armin was sitting on the edge of his seat looking at her.
Clarissa's breath was still slow. Her eyes were only slightly open. Armin stood up and walked up to the side of her bed. "Can you speak?" He asked. Clarissa moved her head to stare at the ceiling.
"I will be back." Armin said before the door opened and closed. A thousand thoughts rush through her head. There are too many things to process to be able to speak. Clarissa thought about the memory of being in a flower field.
She can now match names with faces. Ages with names. Where they were. The youngests', name is Allessandra, she was only three in that memory. Then there is Alina, she was only seven in that memory as well.
Where are those two now? Allessandra would be ten. Alina would be fourteen. If they are alive at all. Did they get out of Shiganshina when the titans broke through? She could of stayed with them. Now there is no way in knowing if they survived.
The door to the room opened. Followed by a couple of footsteps. Clarissa sat up at the sound of the footsteps. Commander Hange and Armin were standing in the doorway. "Good, you are awake." Commander Hange said.
"Yep, I guess I am." Clarissa said with a small smile.
"Do you know what happened?" Commander Hange asked closing the door to the room.
"Kind of." Clarissa said with a shrug. To be honest she knew exactly what happened. Someone said Allessandra's name. She got all her memories back. Then she passed out from the shock. But she wanted to hear what happened on their side.
"You and Arlert were walking down the hallway. Then you started gasping then you passed out." Commander Hange said. She pulled a chair up and sat down on it. "From a medical perspective, I just think you were dehydrated. I don't understand the gasping for air before, but it doesn't seem to of caused harm. So there is no need to look into it." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded.
So this was just dehydration. That is what everyone would now. People knowing that she got all her memories would change the way people looked at her. It definitely changed the way she looked at herself. All she had to do is act like her old self, and not say anything about her past. It is easy.
"I would advise for you to stay in bed for another hour." Commander Hange said. Armin stood by the door with his arms crossed.
"How long have I been out?" Clarissa asked.
"Two hours." Armin answers. Clarissa nodded. Commander Hange stood up and pushed the chair back to the end of the bed where it was. Once Commander Hange was gone Clarissa stood up.
"You should lay back down." Armin said walking up to her. Clarissa smiled and shook her head. Armin took a slight step back. Clarissa is going to have to learn that the old her doesn't smile. So she can't smile.
She walked up to the window. She leaned up against the window sill and looked out at all the fields and fields of flowers. Allessandra would love it here Clarissa thought. It was so natural to think about them. How did she live so long without knowing about them.
"I am going to get you water. I will be back." Armin said. Clarissa turned around and refrained from smiling.
"Thank you." Clarissa said. Armin smiled and nodded then he walked out of the room. Clarissa turned back to the window. "I should have gone back." Clarissa muttered to herself as a tear formed in her eyes.
How could she leave to frail girls alone with an abusive mother? It is idiotic to even think about it let alone act on it! For Sina sake, those two girls better be alive. They better be running in fields just like this one Clarissa is looking at. They have to be alive. Alina, Allessandra, those two girls have to still be alive.
A tear rolled down her cheek just as the door to the room opened. Clarissa turned around. Armin was walking in holding a cup and her notebook. Clarissa wiped away the tear before Armin could notice.
"I also got your notebook. I thought you would want to look at it." Armin said placing the water down on the table beside the bed. Clarissa nodded and Armin handed her the notebook.
Clarissa opened it immediately. Every page she flipped through had a different memory. Most of them involved her staying up late at a grungy old bar playing the piano for money. Every night she would make a good amount of money. Enough money to supply three full meals. So she worked every night. Just so her sisters could have food.
Clarissa sat down on the bed as she read over the lyrics. As she read through one of them her finger tapped the back of the book as she read through it. Clarissa took in a deep breath then she placed the book down beside her. "If I tell you something, can you keep it a secret?"
Armin looked away from the window at Clarissa. He squinted his eyes. "Uhm, yeah, sure." Armin said then he sat down on the bed beside Clarissa.
"Before I passed out I got all my memories back." Clarissa said. Armin nodded. "I have two sisters, their names are Alina and Allessandra. I was away from home when the titans broke through the wall. So I don't know if they are alive." Armin nodded slowly thinking.
"So you remember everything?" He asked. Clarissa nodded.
"Every last bit of my life. Most of it I would like to forget, but now..." Clarissa said. They sit in silence for a couple of seconds then Clarissa picked up the notebook. She flipped to a page. Then she pointed to a scribble on the bottom of the page.
"This, Allessandra did this because she wanted to help me with writing. I let her, then I just re-wrote what I had on the next page." Clarissa said with a smile. She flipped a couple of pages and when she landed on the page she spoke. "This one I wrote after I…" killed… No, she can't even think about it.
Her smile faded and she closed the book. "I...I still… I can't talk about it yet." Clarissa stood up and placed the book on the chair across the room.
"Okay," Armin said standing up. Clarissa walked back over to the window. She took off her necklace and looked down at it in her hand. Then she started humming a song. It started almost inaudible.
Are you, are you, coming to the tree.
They strung up a man they say who murdered three.
Strange things did happen here.
No stranger would it be.
If we met at midnight in the hanging tree.
Are you, are you, coming to the tree.
Where dead man called out for his love to flee.
Strange things did happen here.
No stranger would it be.
If we met at midnight in the hanging tree.
Her voice rose a little and she crawled onto the window sill. She brought her knees to her chest as she sung.
Are you, are you, coming to the tree.
Where I told you to run.
So we'd both be free.
Strange things did happen here.
No stranger would it be.
If we met at midnight in the hanging tree.
Are you, are you, coming to the tree.
Wear a necklace of hope, side by side with me.
Clarissa stopped singing when the door to the room opened. Clarissa looked over to the door. The first thing she noticed is that Armin was watching her. Behind him Mikasa and Eren are walking into the room.
"What are you two doing?" Eren asked.
"I am looking outside. Armin is doing, I don't know what he is doing. You will have to ask him." Clarissa said. Armin turned around to look at the two.
"I am… I was talking to Clarissa. Then she got distracted by looking outside." Armin said. Eren nodded with a smirk tugging on his lips.
"Yeah right, I saw the way you were-" Eren started with a smirk. Mikasa hit Eren's arm stopping him from speaking. Clarissa refrains from smile until she looked out of the window. Once her head was turned she couldn't help from smiling. This was going to be harder than she thought.