Clarissa walked up to her horse and walked in front of it. "We have a long couple of days ahead of us." Clarissa said to the horse as she petted it's head.
"Are you talking to a horse?" A voice called. Clarissa looked over at the direction the voice was coming from and Jean was walking towards her with his horse.
"Now I am." Clarissa said with a smirk. Jean's mouth fell open
"Wow, whenever I talk to you my pride lowers." Jean said. Clarissa stopped herself from laughing and she jumped onto the horse.
"It is a talent of mine." Clarissa said. She couldn't help but smile a little. Jean shook his head and jumped on his horse. "Now, what is the reason you are talking to me?"
"You think I need a reason to talk to you?" He joked. Clarissa's deadpan expression silenced his slight chuckle. "Okay, I was transferred to be in you group." Clarissa squinted her eyes.
"I don't think that can happen without me knowing." Clarissa said. Jean shrugged.
"Well, it did." He said. Clarissa sighed and turned to look at where one of her higher-ups were getting their horse out of its stall.
"Is true that Jean was switched to my group?" Clarissa asked. The higher-up turned to look at the two. He nodded.
"Yes, it was decided that it was best for you, Arlert and Kirschtein to be in a group." He said. Clarissa sighed and ran her hands through her long black hair.
"See," Jean said. Clarissa looked over at him.
"It just means that all of our three strengths match up to make a good group. My battle ability, your ODM ability, and Armin's academic ability." Clarissa said. Jean closed his eyes and sighed.
"You just aren't any fun." Jean said opening his eyes.
"Well, I didn't get a good first impression on you. The first thing you did was flirt with me. That gives me enough of a reason to strongly despise you." Clarissa said trying her best to keep a straight face.
"Give me a chance!" He said. Clarissa smiled and she broke out laughing. "What did I do?" He asked.
"It is way too hard being me." Clarissa said in between laughter. She put her hand in front of her mouth to hide her smile.
"You… what is going on?" Jean said. Clarissa stopped laughing, but was still smiling, and she squared her shoulders.
"Don't speak about this or I will… I will throw you in front of a speeding titan." Clarissa said moving her finger around in the air.
"Why?" He asked with a smirk. Clarissa's smile faded as she stared at him.
"You will not speak of this or else I will end your life by my hands. It won't be a problem, I have experience." Clarissa said with a straight face. Jean chuckled a bit before he realized she was serious.
"Oh, you are serious. Okay, I won't tell anyone." He said with his now straight face. Clarissa nodded. Then she turned her horse towards the rest of group and rode close to them. She saw Armin on his horse so she rode up beside.
Threatening death to someone was not one of Clarissa's most prideful moments. No matter what happened Clarissa would never actually kill him. Maybe she would punch him a couple of times. But now that she is eighteen, she could actually be charged with murder. Before when she killed someone she was young so the court looked past it. They would definitely not look past an eighteen year old killer.
"Did you hear that Jean is joining our group?" Armin asked as she approached.
"Yes, he told me himself." Clarissa said.
"Are you ready?" Armin asked. Clarissa shrugged.
"I am not, not ready." Clarissa said. Armin smiled.
"Yeah," Armin said. Clarissa nodded.
"You better not die. Or even get close. I don't feel like saving someone's life today. But I will if it is necessary." Clarissa said. Armin smiled and nodded.
"I don't plan on dying." Armin said. A smile was tugging at her lips but she looked away before she could smile. Everyone else was starting to ride out of the base.
"Everyone is starting to go. We should go to." Clarissa said then she started riding forward. The sound of hooves followed her. Her hand goes up to the necklace around her neck. Was she really going out into titan territory? Clarissa should be resigning from the military and finding her sisters. If they are even alive.
But now she has friends here, in the military. She wouldn't be able to just leave them behind. They are the only people she has befriended her whole life other than her sisters. The fact they don't know her past probably helps with that. Normal people probably aren't okay with having a friend that can murder a grown man at twelve. But there were those rumors that Eren and Mikasa killed some kidnappers. But those were strangers. Clarissa killed her own father. She didn't even feel any remorse for the man. She felt remorse for her little sisters watching her do it.
There was a reason on why she forgot all of her past. Most of the stuff she forgot would be best never spoken. It was the past, and it should stay that way. Armin….Armin, he knew that she has her memory back. Has he told anyone? It has been over a month since she told him. He hasn't mentioned it once. Does he really think it is such a small thing? Or is he just kind enough to not tell anyone. Maybe he did Mikasa and Eren and they just weren't saying anything.
Stop doubting your instinct! You're his friend. He isn't scum like your father and mother are. He would never go parading around telling everyone your secrets! Clarissa told herself. She looked back at him. Armin and Eren were riding side by side talking. Probably talking about how cool it will be to go on the expedition. Knowing Eren he was probably talking about how he is going to kill every titan he sees.
Clarissa smiled a little looking at them. Neither of them had their family. Except for Eren, he had Mikasa, but that is a different story. They don't have their family but they are still able to be happy, and smile. Why can't Clarissa? Maybe it was because she had a bad past and their life only fell apart when titans decided to eat everyone. So in the long run Clarissa had the more messed up life.
"So, who did you kill?" Jean asked startling Clarissa. She almost fell off of her horse.
"You fucking shit head." Clarissa muttered. Then she looked over at him. He has a sly smile. He was sure full of himself. "Are you happy you scared me?!" He laughed before he answered.
"Quite, now who did you kill?" Jean asked. Clarissa sighed and looked forward.
"My past is my past. No one but me knows it. I don't think I would be able to trust a flirtatious horse-face with my dark past." Clarissa said.
"I will pretend like that didn't hurt." Jean said with a small laugh. Clarissa sighed.
"Good," Clarissa said. "If you stop asking me about my past maybe I would hate you less."
"That sounds nice, to not be hated by a beautiful woman." Jean said with a smirk. Clarissa sighed and looked over at him.
"Oh, and everytime you call me beautiful I will be one step closer to murdering you. We just so happen to be going out into titan territory where many people die. No one would notice if you died from say, being thrown in front of a titan to save your love." Clarissa said with a smirk. Jean shook his head and smiled.
"At least if I die I will forever be known to of been your love." He said. Clarissa laughed slightly for a second. Then she hardened her expression.
"Keep dreaming." Clarissa said with a smirk.
"I will, about you." Clarissa sighed and closed her eyes. Then she turned around to look at Armin.
"Armin!" She called. He stopped talking and looked at Clarissa. "Jean keeps flirting with me! It is getting very exhausting to deal with!" Armin smiled and moved up beside Clarissa. Clarissa smiled and looked down to the necklace she was holding in her hands.
Even if Allessandra was gone Clarissa always had the necklace she gave her the day the titans broke through the wall. Now Clarissa can remember the day more clearly. Almost as if it was yesterday.
"Clarey! I found this necklace on the street yesterday. I want you to take it!" Allessandra called running out of the house. Clarissa squated so she could be at the same level as her. Allessandra held out her hand and in it was a rose necklace. Her necklace.
"Really? Thank you Alless." Clarissa said grabbing the necklace out of her hand. "I am going to put it in my bag so I don't lose it." Clarissa said taking her bag off of her shoulder. She pulled out a dark wooden box and placed the necklace in it.
"Be back soon!" Allessandra exclaimed. Clarissa nodded and stood up. In the doorway Alina was leaning against the doorframe. The poor girl hadn't eaten in two days. She always gave up her food for Allessandra. Clarissa tried to give her her food but she wouldn't take it.
"Alina, please don't forget I left my food in the fridge for you. I will be at the bar tonight. I will probably get paid in a meal. I will be okay." Clarissa said with a smile. Alina offered Clarissa small smile and a nod.
"See you later Clare." Alina said. Clarissa smiled and waved to them as she turned around.
"Clarissa? Earth to Clarissa." Armin said. Clarissa's eyes widened and she looked over at him.
"Sorry, I was…. remembering something." Clarissa said. Armin smiled and nodded in understanding.
"Are you okay?" Armin asked. Clarissa nodded.
"Well, today isn't the best day to remember things. I have to be focused." Clarissa said only loud enough for Armin to hear.
"It will be okay." Armin reassured her with a smile. Clarissa nodded and let go of her necklace. She literally, and figuratively, let go of her past. Hopefully she could put her past away for the expedition. Because if she didn't she would be distracted and wouldn't be able to do her job. Because her job was to be a soldier, and if she got stuck in her past she wouldn't be able to do that.
Today was the worst day in the possible history of Clarissa's history to go on the expedition. Today was Alessandra's eleventh birthday. Or would be, if she was alive. Clarissa wasn't sure if she was alive or not, so it was hard not to celebrate.
"Happy birthday Alless." Clarissa muttered.
"Who is Alless?" Jean asked. Clarissa looked over at him.
"Of course you would want to know shit-head." Clarissa said then she looked forward.
"Seriously? I liked when you only got mad at me for flirting." Jean joked.
"I am still mad at you for flirting, but it is pouring into my overall view of you as a human. The only thing saving you is you are voluntarily going to face human eating titans for the good of humanity." Clarissa said. Jean smiled and laughed a little. Armin smiled and shook his head. Clarissa couldn't help but smile.