(The scene is Happy Bear Ice Cream. A large truck is leaving. Cuts to another truck being loaded)
Truck driver: (On the phone) Yeah, it's a truckload of ice cream. What's the worst that could happen?
(Cuts to a cake factory. A truck is parked outside)
Truck driver: (On the phone) Yeah, the cake's all loaded up. We'll be there. What's the worst that could happen?
(Cuts to an airport. Boxes of TNT are being loaded onto a plane.)
Pilot: (on the phone) Yeah, we're loading the dynamite onto the plane now. What's the worst that could happen?
(Pan over to the school. Within, Sara attempts to use a water fountain that knocks her over with a jet of water. Bradley and Amanda look on)
Sara: No problem. I've got a dry change of clothes in my locker. Yelp! (Sara slips in the water) See you in a bit. (Sara walks off)
Bradley: So, tomorrow is Sara's birthday.
Amanda: Is she having a party?
Bradley: Probably not. The last time she did, it did not end well.
(A flashback shows a fireman chasing a horse at Sara's house with all the emergency services parked outside. Two helicopters hover overhead)
Fireman: (as the horse runs and whinnies) Whoa there! Whoa there! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
(The house explodes with confetti as paramedics load a moaning clown onto an ambulance. The flashback ends)
Bradley: After that, they only invited immediate family and... Me.
Amanda: Well, that's sad. Doesn't she miss having a big birthday party?
(Bradley's phone rings. He answers, opening a video chat)
Bradley: Hi, Mrs. Murphy.
Brigette: Hi, honey. Uh, do you think we should invite Amanda tomorrow? And if so, does she have proper coverage?
Bradley: She's right here. (Tips the phone to show Amanda)
Amanda: Hi, Sara's mom! I overheard, and I'm fully insured. Um, just a thought, but is it okay if we invite some kids from school? It could be a surprise.
Brigette: Hmm. Let's check with Martin. He's still at work. (Martin is added to the chat) Hi, dear! Bradley and Amanda were thinking of a surprise party for Sara tomorrow. How's our liability coverage?
Martin: Oh, better idea; not in our home. We could do it at Play Park.
Amanda: Yeah, the go-cart track!
Martin: It'll be perfect. (Things drop onto him from above) They already have all the party supplies, fire extinguishers, helmets, first aid kits —
Brigette: Plus, they're fully insured.
Bradley: So, we can invite people?
Brigette: Sure.
Amanda: Great! Surprise party!
Martin: We'll have to keep him busy all afternoon so he doesn't suspect.
Bradley: We'll handle that. See you tomorrow. (The water fountain partially dislodges from the wall, spraying water) That's weird, nobody pressed the button. (The water fountain falls off the wall, and a water jet knocks over a student. Sara arrives shortly after in her usual clothes) Oh. Hey, Sara.
Sara: Hey, guys. (Sara stops the water pipe)
Bradley: Did you change?
Sara: Yeah, this one's all dry. I have, like, thirty of these.
(Bradley and Amanda hand out invitations to other students outside the front door of the school)
Amanda: (whispering) Surprise party for Sara.
(Bradley is approaching two girls on bleachers)
Bradley: (whispering) Surprise party for Sara.
(Amanda is approaching a basketball player)
Amanda: (whispering) Surprise party for Sara.
(Amanda and Bradley are in the hallway)
Amanda: (whispering) Surprise party for Sara.
Bradley: (whispering) Surprise party for Sara.
(Amanda and Chad are scuba-diving)
Chad: Won't it be dangerous?
Amanda: You're a hundred feet underwater right now, swimming with eels.
Chad: What's your point?
(Cut to a house overburdened with wind-chimes)
Bradley: So Joni, you coming to Sara's party?
Joni: As long as your dad's there. He's a paramedic, right?
Bradley: Right. (They shake hands)
(Cut to a bungee-jumping platform on a high bridge. Amanda, Lydia, some other students, and an instructor are there)
Amanda: Surprise party for Sara?
Lydia: I don't know. My risk tolerance only goes so high. Waaaaaahh! (Jumps off)
Amanda: We'll all be wearing helmets. It'll be fun.
Casey: Ok, we're in. Waaaaahh! (The other students on the platform jump off)
Instructor: I like parties.
(Amanda looks away awkwardly)
(Cut back to a room within the school. Zack is organizing the yearbook. A student is presenting him with a sample page)
Zack: The border on this photo is a millimeter thicker on the left than on the right. You have a split infinitive in the caption. (The other student goes away; she turns back to Bradley) I don't know, Bradley. Things get sort of messy around Sara. You know how I like order.
Bradley: (looking in a book) I understand, Zack. I'm trying to figure out the streamer situation. But I guess it doesn't matter if there's really a cohesive color scheme, and the balloons I'm ordering are all different sizes and shapes, (Zack starts to panic) but I can't imagine that it's going to be a problem really, you know —
Zack: Alright, I'll organize it! "Cohesive color scheme doesn't matter." Don't think I don't know what you just did.
(Cut to Sara working on the roof of her house. Bradley approaches with his arm in a sling)
Bradley: Yo Sara, what's up?
Sara: Hey, Bradley. Just installed the new asteroid early warning system. (Takes off her goggles) Oh, what's with the arm?
Bradley: Sprained it. (Sara slides down the ladder) Problem is my dad has an important package to be picked up at the mall. I can't do it with this arm. (Puts on her doe eyes and bats them) I know it's your birthday and all, but any chance you could pick it up and drop it off at this address? (Hands Sara a slip)
Sara: (taking it) Sure. Be happy to help. (They enter the house) Think of all the times you helped me when I had a sprained arm. Or leg. (A lamp on the wall falls out) Or... spleen. (They exit through the front door) Or tongue, or finger...
Bradley: Twice.
Sara: (goes to his bike) Or clavicle, or rib-cage, or metatarsal...
(Sara mounts her bike)
Bradley: Thanks, Sara.
Sara: No problem.
(Sara rides off, and Amanda emerges from the bushes. Bradley removes his splint)
Amanda: Nice acting job.
Bradley: I had to bust out the doe eyes. (Does her doe eyes) Use only in case of emergency. And don't think just because I'm a boy I can't do it.
Amanda: Okay. But, what if she shows up too early for the party?
Bradley: I'm way ahead of ya. Remember Scott, the crossing guard? (Rings his phone)
(Cut to a crosswalk, where Scott is acting as a crossing-guard)
Scott: Be sure to watch your step. And I mean that in two ways. I mean watch your step, and, watch your step. (His phone rings) Scott here.
Bradley: Is this Scott, who monitors local safety violations?
Scott: Well, "safety first" is certainly one of my six safety-related mottoes.
Bradley: I'd like to report a violation. I just saw Sara Murphy's bike, and the back wheel is a definite safety hazard. It might fly off any second.
Scott: You had me at Sara Murphy's bike. (Hangs up) You're on my radar, Sara Murphy. (Looks at his radar, on which is one dot which splits into dozens of little dots) Oh, wait, no. That's a flock of birds. Wait, wait. There! Now you're on my radar, Sara Murphy.
(Cut to Sara riding, dodging obstacles that fly towards her. Scott stops her)
Scott: Stop! (Turns his sign around) Sara.
Sara: Scott. You might wanna duck.
Scott: (Scott ducks as he looks out for dangers) huh! Mm. Mm. Mm.
Sara: No. I, I mean you might want this duck. (Sara produces a duck from her backpack) I found him wondering in traffic earlier and I… you know… I figured, with you being the crossing guard —
Scott: Safety czar!
Sara: — safety czar, you might be able to get him somewhere safe.
Scott: (pauses and looks around) Well, there is a little pond right over there. (Scott grabs the duck) Don't move! Do not go anywhere!
(Scott slowly backs away and carefully puts the duck down while looking at Sara, giving him the "I'm watching you" gesture. The duck quacks at him aggressively and then proceeds to chase him around. Scott screams and yelps as it does. After a few seconds of this, he falls into the pond, and the duck pursues. He climbs out of the pond with the duck jumping on him. He gets the duck off him and scrambles away. The duck peacefully returns to the water, and Scott storms back over to Sara)
Scott: I have reason to believe your vehicle might be unsafe. I'm going to have to inspect it.
Sara: Okay, but you might wanna duck first.
Scott: Don't be ridiculous. You couldn't possibly have another duck back — uh! (Scott is knocked over by a tire being carried by helicopter)
Sara: No I meant because of the tire.
Scott: Just for that, Murphy, you're getting the full inspection. (Produces a clipboard)
Sara: Well, I did my own inspection this morning, but I guess you can never be too safe.
Scott: Oh yes you can… not be too safe. (Starts inspecting)
Sara: Do I have to remove my shoes?
(Cut to the Play Park Go-Kart Fun Track.)
Martin: This is perfect. The track makes everyone wear helmets and fireproof jumpsuits.
Brigette: Oh, great. For once we won't look out of place. (Puts on a helmet)
(Some students arrive with more party supplies.)
Martin: Ah, (puts on a helmet) thanks for helping us set up, guys. Time for our checklist. Fire-retardant netting? Check. Radiation screens? Check. Glow-in-the-dark t-shirts in case of power outage? Check. Let's get to work.
(Cut back to Scott and Sara)
Scott: Alright, Ms. Murphy, you passed. Barely.
Sara: Hey, cool. See ya. (Rides off)
Scott: Straighten that helmet! I've got my super safety senses trained on you from now on! And I mean that two ways! Actually, it's just one. (The duck attacks him again; he screams)
(Cut back to the go-kart track)
Zack: Your party planner has arrived with the bubble machine. Chaos is over. Order begins. You, cards on every table, color-coded by age, gender and cake preference. You with the funny hair, these banners should be all five feet from the ground. You, nail-biter, make sure all the utensils are parallel to each other. Step to it, people!
Martin: (dragging in a pile of mattresses) And we brought mattresses to hide under in case of falling debris.
Brigette: Plus, we can wrap ourselves in them for duck attacks.
(Cut to the mall. Sara arrives and is handed a package at a window)
Sara: Wow that was convenient. All malls should have drive-through windows.
(Sara continues up a hill, dodging bins, ball bearings, and slinkies)
Sara: Hmm. Kind of a light day.
(Cut back to the go-kart track. Zack holds a remote-control)
Zack: Okay, everyone. Clear the perimeter. And Murphy's Law countermeasures engaged.
(He pushes the button. Sensors deploy around the perimeter, and an alarm sounds)
Milo: She's a block away, t-minus twenty seconds. Roll in the decoy!
(Two students place a fake sign over Play Park's actual sign and then dive into a nearby bush.)
Kris: I'm planning on staying in this bush the whole party. Zack scares me.
(Sara rides up)
Sara: (reading a slip of paper) "Industrial Industries, serving the industrial needs of industry for over fifty years." This looks like the place.
(Sara enters and finds all her friends waiting for her)
Everyone: Happy Birthday, Sara! (They cheer; noise-makers sound)
Natalie: I like cheering!
Sara: Wow, you guys! A real birthday party?
Bradley: Got ya. (Fist-bumps Sara)
Sara: You used the doe eyes.
Amanda: And they've got go-karts! They're karts that go!
(Everyone races to the go-kart track. "I Gotta Go" begins)
Sara: This is great, you guys. Let's go!
(They race in the go-karts)
Singers: Well I've got no time for trivial things. Gotta get up and get out into the world. Find a spot in the manner of kings. Gonna blow into the city in a whirl. I gotta go. (Goooo!)
(Alex spins out on some oil that comes out of Amanda's go-cart and lands on a pile of sandbags to the side of the track)
Alex: Okay!
Singers: Oh, I'm Mister Go. (Gooooo!) They call me Mister Go. (Instrumental bridge).
(A loose screw from Sara's go-kart hits the helmet of Joni and distracts him long enough for him to lose control of his go-kart. A wheel from his go-cart breaks off and flies into the protective netting. Zack, who is watching, gives the thumbs-up. It is catapulted out of the Play Park. The wheel then knocks over Scott. He screams. Meanwhile, the party-goers continue racing.)
Singer: Oh, but you know I gotta go. (Goooo!) Gotta get gone Getty gone, gone. (Gooooooooo!)
(A billboard becomes loose and falls on the track, being propped up by the barrier. Sara, Amanda, and Bradley fly up it and out of the go-cart track, landing on a table. This launches Zack's bubble machine and some balloons into the air. "I Gotta Go" ends)
Sara: (as she, Bradley, and Amanda get out of their karts) Did you see that? That was awesome!
Bradley: Uh oh. I think that was Zack's bubble machine.
Amanda: And we have all of our limbs! Well, except for One-Arm Willie.
One-Arm Willie: It's a nickname. I have both my arms. I am missing one leg though.
(Cut to the "Happy Bear Ice Cream" truck on the road, then to the "Cake" truck...)
(...Then to the plane hauling dynamite...)
(...Then the bubble machine lands on the road)
(Cut back to the party. The students all chant for cake as they hold up plastic screens between them and Sara)
Students: Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
Amanda: Sara and candles. Can't be too careful.
Brigette: (to Martin) I'm afraid we have a problem dear. Diogee got into the cake and ice cream.
(A chubby Diogee among the remains of the cake and ice cream looks at them, full of guilt)
Brigette: Sorry, Sara. The cake got ruined.
Sara: Though cake and ice cream would have been nice, I already got my wish. (Cut to the balloons ascending toward the plane) I had a birthday party, and nothing went horribly wrong.
Pilot: Ooh, balloons!
(The pilot accidentally leans on a lever opening the cargo bay door, and all the dynamite falls out of the plane)
The driver of the ice cream truck: (as he drives through the bubbles) Huh? Whoa. Yah!
(The truck swerves off the road and launches its cargo high into the air.)
Truck driver #2: Oh no, duck! Yea, ugh! (The cake delivery truck swerves to avoid a family of ducks crossing the road and stops on an unfinished overpass, launching cakes into the air)
(The dynamite, ice cream and cake all collide and create a large explosion right above Play Park. The students all look up in wonder.)
Sara: This is the best birthday ever!
(Everyone is quickly covered in falling ice cream and cake)
Sara: Ice cream and cake? Correction! This is better than the best birthday ever!
(Everyone cheers, but they are soon interrupted. They run away screaming as the duck family attacks)
Martin: Quick, everyone wrap yourselves in mattresses!