The night was long and uneventful. During the night Commander Hange was able to capture two titans that will be held in Trost. Now that the Survey Corps got what they wanted they started their way back to the Survey Corps base. It was going to be a long ride, five hours exactly. Clarissa only had four hours of sleep for the last forty-eight hours. Instead of taking the breaks to sleep, Clarissa spent it mourning her sisters. They may still be alive, but they aren't with her.
The Survey Corps just got onto their last break for the rest of the expedition. The whole of the Survey Corps had two hours to sleep, eat, drink, do whatever they needed to do to get through the next five hours. Luckily the only deaths so far where the left flank spotters. Which is still horrible, but compared to other expeditions they were lucky this time.
"You should lay down, we have two hours. You haven't slept since we started." Eren said carrying a pillow and sheet over from the supply cart. Clarissa sighed and sat down on the ground. To be honest, she was exhausted. She should have slept a long time ago. Like twenty-four hours ago.
Clarissa nodded. "Okay, thank you." Clarissa said as Eren handed her the pillow and sheet. She placed the pillow down and laid back on it. If she wasn't covered in blood, or laying in a field full of titans, she would probably fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Instead she laid on her side looking out to the field.
There were one or two titans but Clarissa knew it would be okay because on each side of the temporary camp had two soldiers stationed to make sure no titan got close. Clarissa was unlucky enough to have that job for one of the midday rests.
It was just after sunrise, so the titans were still slow. Like Commander Hange would say, "The titans haven't had enough sunlight to metabolize yet so they are going to move slower!" Sometimes she can be annoying but in all honesty she was a pure-blood genius.
Clarissa couldn't help but smile at the beautiful of the field in front of her. Behind her she can hear a conversation. "I thought Clarissa was a Sina girl who didn't want anyone to know that." Jean said. Clarissa snickered. Jean obviously thought she was asleep.
"What made you think differently?" A unrecognizable voice asked.
"The way she dealt with that dead girl. She was so… calm, perfect." Clarissa eyes-widened.
"So you have a crush on her?" The other voice asked.
"Sort of, but there is no way I am getting anywhere with her. The first time I talked to her she told me about underage dating. The second she was pissed at me for calling her beautiful." He said. A chuckle came from the other guy. "What?!"
"You do flirt with every cute girl you come across." The other guy said.
"But she isn't like every other girl." Jean said. Finally Clarissa almost laughed. That is the best he has? "She isn't like every other girl"?! That is the shittiest line ever! Every girl is strong and powerful! If he would ever use that line on Clarissa she would be sure to punch him. But Clarissa won't say anything. It is a "man" talk. Maybe that changed his wording. Yeah, changed is wording to talk like a "man".
The thought of that made Clarissa laugh out loud. She stopped herself from making much noise. When she finished laughing she quickly drifted off into sleep.
Clarissa woke up to someone shaking her. She rolled onto her back opened her eyes. Above her she could see Armin. "Time to go?" Clarissa asked. He nodded and stood. Clarissa sat up and looked down at her legs. She grimaced in disgust. She almost forgot about all the blood all over her. Clarissa would be sorry for the poor girl, but she was dead. Now Clarissa had to deal with all the blood.
"I need a showered once I get back to the base." Clarissa groaned standing up.
"And a new change of clothes." Armin chimed in.
"Maybe a good sleep on an actual bed." Clarissa said. She smiled at the thought. Her body ached. Not only from the hard cold ground she slept on. But from the constant horseback riding. Not to mention the weight from the metal containers and the blades and lived in them. It was a lot.
"That sounds nice." Jean said walking up from beside Clarissa. She smiled and picked up the sheet and blanket from the ground. Remembering the conversation Jean had, probably only an hour and a half ago, made her blush a little. "Maybe we-" Clarissa put her hand up silencing him.
"If you want to seduce me that is useless because," Clarissa waved her hand gesturing at Jean. "you are you." Clarissa said with a shrug. Jean sighed and looked over his shoulder at someone and shrugged. If Clarissa had to guess he as the one Jean was talking to earlier. Jean took a step towards her and pulled her in and kissed her.
In the background there was a single cheer. Clarissa pulled away and her eyes were wide. She dropped the pillow and blanket on the ground. Armin was slack-jawed staring at the two. Mikasa and Eren were in the background staring wide-eyed holding a similar expression as Clarissa.
"What the hell?!" Clarissa yelled drawing more attention. She hit him across the face. A crack of skin on skin was loud and almost everyone at the temporary camp was staring at them. Jean's eyes-widened and he put his hand on the red cheek.
"You are naive to think that I would let my first kiss be with a horse-face like you!" Clarissa yelled. Armin took a step back giving them space to do whatever they were doing.
"It was your first kiss?" Jean asked dropping his hand to his side. Clarissa clicked her tongue and crossed her arms. She kicked the ground a little.
"Get out of my sight before I punch all of you teeth out!" Clarissa growled. Jean's friend walked out of the group of ten soldiers watching and placed his hand on Jean's should.
"You messed up." His friend told to him with slight laughter lacing his words. They turned around and his friend started leading him away.
"You cannot believe." Jean laughed. Clarissa picked up the pillow and sheet and threw them against the ground.
"Are you okay?" Armin asked keeping his distance. Clarissa huffed and turned to face him.
"The last time I was this pissed I killed a man! Now use your brain and answer that for yourself!" Clarissa yelled. Armin nodded and took another step back giving her more room. Clarissa's hands turned into fists. Armin knew better than to say anything, so he just stood on the side waiting for her to calm down. Or for a higher-up to come and order them to get to their horses.
"I should've pushed that horse-face into a titan when I had the chance! Or maybe I should of just never joined the military! My sisters wouldn't be dead if I wasn't in the fucking military!" Clarissa yelled. Mikasa and Eren's eyes widened. Everyone else that was watching was gone.
"Clarissa, they might not be dead. You don't know." Armin tried to console her. Nothing would've worked, Clarissa was at her limit. She couldn't get any more angry if she tried.
"I know that! I should have stayed home that day! It was bread fucking bread! It was only one dollar cheaper!" Clarissa yelld. Armin squinted his eyes confused. He was smart enough to not ask any questions given her current...state.
"What the hell is going on here?" A cold monotone voice asked. Clarissa turned and Captain Levi was walking towards the two of them. Clarissa smirked and shook her head.
"Great, just great." Clarissa said to herself shaking her head.
"I asked a question! What the hell is going on here?" He asked more stern. Armin took a step forward deciding Clarissa wasn't going to speak.
"Jean… urm, kissed her. She didn't want him to kiss her. Then she slapped him." Armin explained. Clarissa could almost feel the eyebrows on the short Captain scrunch together.
"We are heading out in a minute. If you are not on your horses by then we will leave without you." Captain Levi ordered to the four of them. Mikasa, Eren, Armin, and Clarissa. Armin, Eren and Mikasa all saluted then ran off to their horses.
Clarissa just stared at Captain Levi. He stared back at her. "Go!" Captain Levi ordered. Clarissa instinctively saluted and turned around to where her horse was. Clarissa shook her head as she climbed onto her horse. There was dried blood on the reins. When she took hold she could feel the flakes of blood rubbing off on her hands.
She grimaced and looked up at the field in front of her. Her two team members were behind her. Which Clarissa was grateful for so she wouldn't have to look at Jean's horse-face. The five hours went by fast. They got back to the base.
Clarissa jumped off of her horse. She took off the saddle, saddle pad, and reins. Then she put the horse into its stall. She also filled up the water and gave it food. Clarissa sat down on the ground with a bucket of water and some soap. She took the saddle and placed it in front of her, then she started scrubbing it, getting rid of the dried blood.
The soap was turning to a crimson red. Clarissa grimaced as she scrubbed. "Do you need any help?" Armin asked walking up to Clarissa. Clarissa looked up at him and shook her head. She looked back down and continued to scrub the saddle.
"Clarissa, you have to go have a shower, and sleep. The saddle won't be gone when you come back." Armin said calmly. Clarissa sighed and nodded realizing he was right. She was covered in blood. It has been forty-eight hours since they left the base. During that time she only got two hours of sleep. Two horrible hours of sleep. Clarissa placed the saddle to the side and she stood up with the help of armin.
"I need to talk with Commander Erwin before I go inside." Clarissa said. Armin nodded and looked over to where Commander Erwin was standing. He was standing in a group with Captain Levi and Commander Hange. Clarissa sighed and walked up to them. When she approached them she saluted.
"Sir," Clarissa said looking at Commander Erwin. "May I ask something?" He nodded. Clarissa dropped her arm from her chest and placed it behind her back. "Sierra Amori, I was with her when she passed. She asked me to pass along a message to her mother. Could I be notified after she is aware?" Clarissa asked.
"Yes, I am having her mother come here tomorrow. She has a son in the higher ranks. She would want to see him." Commander Erwin said. Clarissa smiled and nodded.
"Thank you sir. I will be excusing myself now." Clarissa said with a bow of her head. Commander Erwin smiled and nodded. Clarissa turned around and as she walked up to the building Armin ran up beside her. He walked behind her in silence.
Clarissa walked into her room and picked up a change of sweat pants, underwear, and a white tank top. Then she took off all on her gear and straps and placed them on the dresser. Then she walked to the women's shower room and walked into one of the stalls.
Who was the genius who chose white pants for the uniform? There is probably some very reasonable tactical reason such as: you can see if your legs are bleeding. But if your legs were bleeding you would probably know!
Clarissa peeled off her pants leaving dried blood on her legs. The pants were definitely garbage. Clarissa took her top off and set her necklace on top of it. She continued to undress, and took a twenty minute long shower. She changed into her grey sweatpants and the white tank top. She made sure that she put the necklace on.
The pants were garbage so she threw them in the garbage as soon as she left the small showers stall. Her maroon dress shirt was neatly folded and sitting on the counter next to the sink. Clarissa looked at herself in the mirror above the sink.
There were large dark circles under her eyes and her hair was long and looked in dire need of a cut. Clarissa picked up a pair of stray scissors from the counter and cut her hair, the length changed from reaching the middle of her back to sitting at the middle of her chest.
Her grey eyes looked, cold. This was not a familiar look to her, at least before she joined the military. Before she joined the military her eyes always sparkled. But after, they were cold and lifeless. Clarissa isn't quite sure on how she felt about it.
The door to the communal bathroom open. Instead of one of the girls it was Jean. Idiot horse-face. Clarissa sighed and closed her eyes. Her blood boiling at the sight of him. "Tell me why you are in the women's room?" Clarissa asked then she opened her eyes. Jean furthered into the room and the doors closed behind him.
"I wanted to say sorry." He said with a shrug sticking his hands into the pockets of his dirt-covered white uniform jeans.
"How did you know I was here anyway?" Clarissa asked looking back at herself in the mirror.
"Someone told me. You know there are only three people in the Survey Corps with black hair and grey eyes?" Jean said walking up to her. Clarissa nodded, it's true.
"Yes, it's hard not to notice. You came here to apologize, apologize." Clarissa said staring at herself in the mirror. Her eyes, she just wanted them to sparkle again. She wanted to see herself smile. There is only one thing that would really bring her happiness: seeing her sisters safe and alive.
"Okay, I'm sorry for what happen-"
"You kissed me, apologize properly." Clarissa said keeping a straight face. Jean sighed and crossed his arms.
"I am sorry for kissing you." He said. Clarissa picked up the top and draped it over her arm. She turned to him and sighed.
"If a titan is about to eat you I am not saving you." Clarissa said walking out of the bathroom.