Because I didn't have much inspiration for writing, I wrote a drabble in which a Holy Grail War plays out, but all the servants are puella magi. Yes, it is stupid. No, I don't regret writing this.

Enjoy!

The girl in the center of the summoning circle stares at Tokomi defiantly. Her hair is pink- a light pit that turns smoky at the ends, creating an unusual effect. White bows hold her hair in loose buns, which hold long ponytails that stretch to her petite waist. Golden eyes meet Tokomi's bright blue ones, and the master has to repress a shudder. He takes a step back, without taking his eyes off of her. It appears that this was not the intended servant.

"Are you my summoner?" she asks in a soft voice, fitting considering her looks.

"Yes," he replies, his answer barely audible. The girl walks forward, though it would probably be better to say that she glides. Her winged boots don't appear to touch the ground once as she exits the circle. Tokomi decides to, for once, take a leap of faith, and they shake hands. A contract is formed.

Assassin flips her elegant black hair, and Kirei suppresses a sigh. Every single time… The servant straightens out her plaid skirt nervously, and her black heels made a tapping noise on the ground.

Archer stands in front of her, stammering nervously.

"Um, Homura!" she cries out, and Kirei once again sighs at the utter stupidity of the servant to reveal Assassin's name. Evan if they knew each other previously, she was being an idiot! "Do your best, okay!" Son of a-

Assassin's eyes fill with hearts, and Archer readies her bow. Then, the idiot brunette pulls out a gun.

"I promise, Madoka!" she cries, tears rolling down her pale cheeks. Kiriei face-palms. The two engage in an epic battle, and Kirei's familiar is destroyed when Assassin creates a gigantic gun, which blows apart the scene.

Idiot.

Saber stares passionately into Lancer's crimson eyes, who wildly blushes but tenderly raises a hand to brush the girl's cheek. There is a passion between them, and El-Melloi and Kirei couldn't care less.

"Sayaka," murmurs Lancer.

"Kyoko," murmurs Saber.

(Get on with it!) El-Melloi telepathically shrieks. Lancer proceeds to ignore him and strokes Saber's soft blue hair. The girl pulls on Lancer's silky ponytail, the color of blood, and it comes loose, spilling strands over her shoulders and her face.

Kirei knocked his gun and points it at El-Melloi. While he is distracted by Saber's seduction of Lancer (or perhaps something more,) Kirei would take out the blonde master.

Wait.

Maybe the cutlass 'accidentally' embeds itself in the wall behind him was a signal not to interrupt Saber and Lancer.

Yeah, he shouldn't have proposed this strategy.

Berserker yawned as she looked down at the two servants fighting(?)

"I should have been Saber," she grumbles. "Stupid Sayaka, romantic girl. Idiot." Kariya decides to ignore this comment for now as he was staring at Saber and Lancer fight(?)

"What are they doing?" he whispers, half-horrified, half-entranced, and Berserker grins.

"Aw, is little mister save Sakura frightened by some lust?" Berserker flashes her fang, the servant's short, tousled black hair waving in the wind.

"Look," Kariya mutters, unable to tear his eyes from the sight. Berserker looks down, about to roll her eyes, when she actually saw past Lancer's illusion. "That's not lust. No way is that lust."

"Yeah," gasps Berserker, for once in agreement with her master. "That… what are they doing?"

"I don't know," says Kariya in a low tone of voice, "but we should run. Now."

Berserker and Kariya didn't look back as they run away, their steps leaving clouds of dust behind them.

Caster brushes her long, pale blonde hair behind one ear as she smiles down at the child named Rin Tosaka.

"Hello," she says, slightly smiling as she extends one hand. "It looks like you dropped your ice cream."

"But I didn't drop my ice cream," the child insists. Caster knocks the ice cream cone out of the child's hand.

"It looks like you dropped your ice cream," she repeats. Rin begins to cry, but Caster merely smiles once more, praying the girl's mother won't come back. "Do you want a new ice cream?" Rin brightens up almost immediately and starts tugging on Caster's arm. Caster breathes a sigh of relief when Rin doesn't recognize her as a servant right away, though that might have been because she had masked her prana.

"Would you?" Caster almost feels bad. Almost.

"Of course! Just come with me, Rin." Caster firmly grabs the child's hand and prepares to march off, when Rin begins to talk.

"How do you know my name?"

In hindsight, picking up a small, crying child who's screaming about a servant abducting her and dragging her through the city probably wasn't the best idea. Bullets hurt. Oh, well. This girl will destroy Tokomi, Berserker will follow Caster through Hell, Assassin will follow Archer (though she might come for revenge first) and the two idiot lovers would probably throw themselves off a cliff or something.

What were they doing, anyway?

Caster soon learns why you shouldn't tempt fate.

Rider lands next to Saber and Lancer.

"Hello!" she cheerfully exclaims. "Why don't we…" her mouth gapes open as she realizes she really, really shouldn't be here, but by now it's too late.

"Transform, Kyoko!" yells Saber. "We must protect Nagisa's innocent mind while we still can!"

"Oh, hi," says Lancer absent-mindedly. "What are you- GAH! Nagisa, forget you saw any of this!"

"It's too late," laments the magical girl. "Cheese will never have the same flavor to me again." Sayaka and Kyoko exchange glances.

"Wait, cheese?"

"Yes, cheese!" yells Rider, waking up a passed-out Waver, who decides to faint again after seeing what was happening. "I love cheese! Goodbye!" The girl transforms into her witch form and took off, making Waver, who rid on her back, to whimper.

"Teenagers," says Lancer dismissively. "They get like that at this age."

Ruler opens her golden eyes to a new world. Her hair in twin drills bounces as she looks around.

"Oh," she says, and the words feel odd in her mouth, which is unused to speaking after she had been with the Law of Cycles for so long. The servant raises her weapon of choice, a type of rifle, and steps forward, a task of mind.

Only to see Fuyuki City is burning to the ground.

"This," she comments, "is why its a really, really bad idea to have a Grail War with only puella magi." Berserker runs past, engaged in battle with Saber, and nearby Caster and Lancer fight. Rider swoops down and bites into a random, poor human, who screams and dies, as humans do when their heads are bitten off. Archer cries, tears dripping from her eyes onto her dress, yet conveniently not staining it, as she directs her bow towards Assassin. Her arrow turns into a flame, and Assassin takes out her own bow. Yep. She just magics up a bow. This arrow also catches on fire.

"I can't let you sacrifice yourself," says Assassin in a low voice, her violet eyes confident and determined.

"I'm so sorry, Homura!" screams Archer, letting her string go. "I have to save everyone!" Then, both arrows meet and Fuyuki blows up.

"This," repeats Ruler, "is a bad idea."

Then Rider bit off her head.

Rider- Nagisa

Assassin- Homura/Devil Homura

Archer- Ultimate Madoka

Caster- Oriko

Saber- Sayaka

Lancer- Kyoko

Ruler- Mami

Berserker- Kirika

I really have no idea what happened here. Hopefully, I'll get an actual chapter of Fate: Battle Royale up soon, but I'm getting through a wordy part, so it may take a while.