Clarissa was walking down the hallway when she ran into Nanaba. "Hey, you're back already! Do you know where Alina is?" Clarissa asked. Nanaba raised her eyebrow.
"She didn't tell you?" She asked. Clarissa crossed her arms and shook her head.
"No, tell me what?" Clarissa asked. Nanaba looked around cautiously then she looked back at Clarissa.
"Maybe you should ask your friends." Nanaba said before she walked off. Clarissa sighed and turned around to find her friends. Where was Alina? What wasn't she telling Clarissa? Clarissa walked around for a little until she found Eren and Mikasa walking in the hallway.
"Eren, Mikasa," Clarissa said walking up behind them. They both turn around to look at Clarissa.
"Yeah?" Eren asked with a shaky voice. Clarissa sighed.
"Where is Alina?" Clarissa asked. Mikasa and Eren looked between each other. "Tell me,"
"She doesn't want us to tell you." Eren said. Clarissa smiled and shook her head.
"Tell me what?" Clarissa asked. Mikasa sighed and looked right at Clarissa.
"Alina joined the military. She left for the training camp already." Mikasa said. Clarissa's heart dropped. She froze. She couldn't move, or speak. Clarissa raised her eyebrow.
"What?" Clarissa managed to get out. Eren nodded.
"She told us she as already enlisted before what happened at Trost. She didn't want to tell you. She didn't want to worry you." Eren said. Clarissa laughed nervously.
"You didn't think to mention that it would worry me more not knowing!?" Clarissa yelled. Mikasa nodded.
"I told her, but she wouldn't listen." Mikasa said. Clarissa nodded slowly and she looked down to the ground.
"Did she say anything about why she joined?" Clarissa asked still looking at the ground.
"No, just that she did before she knew you were even alive." Mikasa said. Clarissa looked up. Clarissa knew exactly why Alina joined. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together, her mother got arrested for child neglect. She didn't care about her mother when she did. She joined the military. Anyone could see that she was joining to get away from her mother. But she was away, she was with Clarissa. Maybe she felt like she couldn't drop out.
"Just…." Clarissa took a deep breath. "Tell me she was prepared." Clarissa said. Mikasa and Eren nodded.
"She knew what she was getting into. We tried to warn her about the danger. But she already knew." Eren said. Clarissa nodded. She felt tears were about to fall. She just got her sister back, then she left. Clarissa wasn't even able to say goodbye. She is just gone.
"I... I need some time to process this." Clarissa said walking past them down the hallway. She walked outside and kneeled down in the fields of flowers. Clarissa picked up one of the flowers.
A breeze came along and pulled it out of her hand. Clarissa brought her knees up to her chest as she looked over the fields. The endless fields, that might have gone further if the large wall wasn't in the way. The wall that kept humanity safe. That kept everyone Clarissa knew safe. Everyone that wasn't stupid enough to join the military. Especially not stupid enough to join the Survey Corps! Clarissa knew that no matter what Alina would chose the Survey Corps.
And it is all because of Clarissa. She blamed herself for it. All of it. If Clarissa never left her house that day to get bread maybe Alessandra would still be alive. Maybe they wouldn't of gotten separated. If they never got separated, maybe Alina never would of joined the military. And if Alina never joined the military, she would never be so close to joining the Survey Corps and going outside the walls and getting murdered.
Clarissa laid back and looked up at the sky. "Hey Clarissa, Eren told me that Alina joined the military." Armin said walking up to Clarissa. Clarissa looked over at watched as he approached.
"Yep, my baby sister that is scared of a scrape on her knee joined the military!" Clarissa said sarcastically. Armin sat down beside Clarissa. Then she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest again.
"She could join the MP's." Armin said. Clarissa sighed and smiled.
"Yeah right, maybe she would of if I was dead. But now she knows I am here, so she will, without doubt, join the Survey Corps." Clarissa said with a smirk.
"You can never know." Armin said with a smile. Clarissa raised her eyebrow and looked over at him.
"I have known her for eight years, well more, but only eight that I have actually spent with her, and during those eight years she always followed me. No matter what. She followed me." Clarissa said then she looked back at the fields. "Maybe I should transfer to the MP's, then she would follow me." Clarissa sighed, "But then I wouldn't be with my friends… maybe I should just... nope."
"So… you're stuck." Armin said. Clarissa nodded and waved her finger in the hair.
"I am stuck." Clarissa said with a smile.
"What are you going to do?" Armin asked. Clarissa shook her head.
"Wait... wait until my sister decides to follow me to the deadliest career path imaginable. Then watch as she dies!" Clarissa said, then she looked back over at Armin. "No offence to your career choice."
"None taken," Armin said. Clarissa nodded and picked up another flower. Then she twirled it between her fingers.
"I am offended by myself. So don't feel bad if you are offended." Clarissa said smelling the flower.
"It is hard to be offended when everyone says it." Armin said. Clarissa nodded as she stared at the flower.
"If you think that way you won't get anywhere in life. Or you don't have true passions, and I know you do. I am just not sure what they are." Clarissa said. Armin nodded and looked out to the fields.
"I want to see the outside world. Like really see it, not just the small part that we see on expeditions." Armin said. Clarissa raised her eyebrows and looked over at him. He was smiling, his eyes sparkling, he was truly excited about it.
"Do you know anything about the outside? Y'know, like what the Survey Corps haven't seen?" Clarissa asked straightening her legs out.
"Yeah, my Grandfather had books on the outside worlds. There are bodies of water that are full of salt that are so big that no merchant could ever get all of it!" Armin said with a smile. Clarissa smiled.
"Really?" Clarissa asked. Armin nodded. "That is so cool! I wouldn't mind seeing it."
"Hopefully I can see it too!" Armin said with a smile. Clarissa nodded and looked out at the fields once more. Clarissa had a lump in her throat with words that she wanted to say. But she couldn't say anything. Clarissa stood up.
"I am going on a walk. I will be back at the base by supper." Clarissa said as Armin stood up. He nodded then Clarissa turned around and started walking down the dirt road that lead through a small forest.
The trees in this forest, unlike the one in wall Maria, are smaller. The thought of it being easy to maneuver through was a thought at the front of Clarissa's mind. Once Clarissa got her memory she always wondered on how she was actually able to handle training. Yes, she had been through some shit, but nowhere in her mind she thought she was able to deal with willingly facing death. When she was younger, she faced death everyday, it was her dream for her and her sisters not have to worry about dying everyday.
But for some reason, Mrs. Lilith was the only one surprised about Clarissa being in the military. Alina was not shocked one bit. Maybe Clarissa was the type to join the military. She had already lived through an expedition and the fall of Trost. That is more than most people can say. Maybe part of being afraid of dying everyday when she was younger helped her not being afraid of titans. Of course she feared the idea of them, giant humanoid creatures that enjoy eating humans, but Clarissa was actually not scared of them killing her. Mostly it was because Clarissa knew she had the training to kill them. Just like how she knew she was able to kill her father if the need arised. And it did, and Clarissa dealt with it. Maybe with not as much finesse as she had now, but was still did it.
The more Clarissa thought about it the more she figured that she was built for the military. She just never wanted to believe it, because she would have to leave her sisters. But now Alessandra is dead, and Alina is training to join the military. There is no one to stay behind and protect.
That frightened her.
After an hour of walking Clarissa found a small trail leading into the forest. It wasn't exactly a trail, but it was a worn path. Clarissa followed the small worn path into the forest. She rested her hands in the pockets of her white skirt. It was about two hours until supper, from Clarissa's estimate. That gave her enough time to see where this trail went and to get back.
The further down the path Clarissa heard the sound of burbling water. Clarissa went further down the path and she ran into a small stream. It was no longer that five feet across. Clarissa sat down beside the river and leaned up against a tree. She was close enough to the river to put her hands in the water. She did that.
The water was cold, but not too cold. Clarissa took her boots off and put her feet in the water. Clarissa got lost in the beauty of the water. Clarissa was still leaning up against the tree when she fell asleep. When she woke up it was dark and she was freezing. She pulled her feet out of the freezing cold water and put them in her boots. She stood up and she was freezing. Her teeth were chattering, her feet were frozen and numb. One thing that Clarissa knew for sure is that it was after supper.
Clarissa crossed her arms and she began to walk back down the worn path. Clarissa tried to keep herself warm by moving quicker, but it was hard because of her numb feet. It took her another hour to get back to the base. When she got there there was a couple of people standing in the main entrance. They were all on guard, evident by how fast they turned to look at Clarissa.
"Where have you been? The whole base is looking for you." One of the girls say walking up to Clarissa. Then she noticed Clarissa is shaking and they turn around. "Could one of you please notify a higher up that we found her? I am going to bring her to the infirmary, she looks cold." Clarissa raised her eyebrow.
"Do you mind letting me know on what is happening?" Clarissa asked. The other two people nodded and turned around to walk down the hall. The girl grabbed onto Clarissa's hand and started pulling her down the hall to the infirmary.
"Armin Arlert said that you were going to be back by supper. Supper was five hours ago." She said as they walked into the infirmary. Clarissa nodded and looked around the room that had two beds on one wall. On the other wall was a desk and two people were walking around the room. One a man and one a woman. They both turned to look at the two when they walked in.
"You found her?" The man asked the girl that was holding Clarissa's hand. Clarissa pulled her arm away and crossed her arms.
"I am right here." Clarissa said. The man turned to look at Clarissa.
"Where were you?" He asked leading her to a bed. Clarissa followed and sat down.
"On a walk, that ended with me falling asleep with my feet in a river." Clarissa said with a shrug. The man picked up a blanket from the end of the bed and put it over Clarissa's shoulders. Then he grabbed onto Clarissa's wrist.
"You seem really cold, and your pulse is weak. I would like for you to stay here overnight. And just warm up." He said dropping her wrist and walking to the desk. The to girls left the room. As they left Commander Hange, Armin, Eren, and Mikasa walked into the room.
"Where were you?" Armin asked walking up to Clarissa's bed. Clarissa shrugged.
"Going for a walk. I fell asleep with my feet in the river, sorry to make all of you worry." Clarissa said moving herself in the bed so she is sitting against the headboard.
"You were missing for eight hours!" Eren said. Clarissa shrugged.
"I was missing for five hours. Before that I was just on a walk." Clarissa pointed out. Commander Hange sighed drawing everyone's attention to her.
"I am glad to see you back safely!" Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded. Clarissa knew exactly why she was upset.
"I am sorry for taking you away from your research." Clarissa said. Commander Hange nodded.
"Speaking of, I have to get back to it! See you later Clarissa!" Commander Hange said before she left the room followed by the other man. Once the door was completely closed Mikasa spoke.
"How can you fall asleep with your feet in water?" Mikasa asked. Clarissa shrugged.
"Those beds in the holding cells aren't the most comfortable. The ground is better." Clarissa said with a smile. "So the base was looking for me?"