CHAPTER 12 – The COST OF FORGIVENESS

Elizabeth put her toothbrush away, climbed into her berth, and zippered herself in. When she pulled the curtain closed, she felt like she was putting up a huge "Do Not Disturb" sign. She didn't want to speak to anyone.

She lay her head on her pillow and thought about the situation.

Why in the world would Jack think that I needed saving?

Because he thinks I need to be coddled. Because he thinks I'm delicate. Because he thinks that I have no business going to Coal Valley.

I thought he was over that. I thought that he believed in me.

Is he ever going to see me as who I really am? Who I want to be?

Why in the world would he think that I was into bondage?!

The next morning, Jack turned off his alarm before it buzzed. He hopped down from his berth and glanced at Elizabeth's sleeping spot. He wondered what she was thinking behind her curtain. If she was even awake.

With a frown, he grabbed his towel and clothes and headed for the shower room. Ten minutes later, he pushed his wet hair from his face, finished getting dressed, and quietly left the living quarters. As much as he would like to have waited for Elizabeth to wake up so they could speak, he had work to do.

Elizabeth waited until she heard Jack leave before she opened her curtain and crawled out of her berth. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet.

The teasing and taunting from the other passengers – who found anything outside of the ordinary to be a welcome distraction from the everyday monotony of space -was still fresh in her mind. All night long her bracelet receiver had binged with new messages. Did she know of a good dungeon? Where could someone find leather on the transporter? Was her safe word "tart"?

Stupid scientists and crew members! Don't they have any way to amuse themselves besides laughing at me?!

Once Seth and Carl had left for breakfast, Elizabeth took a long shower; using more water minutes than she could afford. Afterwards, instead of allowing her hair to dry naturally as she went about the morning, she opted to waste another twenty minutes by using a blow dryer.

She brushed her teeth twice. She read a chapter of a book that she had already read three times. She wrote in her journal.

The growling of her stomach let her know that she couldn't avoid the cafeteria any longer. If she wanted breakfast, she would have to face the other passengers. She had delayed as long as possible.

"How about pancakes?" Abigail asked when Elizabeth approached her. "The doctor cleared my kitchen and says I'm allowed to serve freshly prepared food again."

"Thanks." Elizabeth looked around the room again as she waited for Abigail. Nothing. No one had said a word when she walked in. Although many passengers had already finished eating and left for their duties, there were still at least fifteen diners in the cafeteria.

And yet, not one had made a snide comment. Not one taunt about handcuffs and whips. Not one teasing comment about leather and chains.

She saw a few people smile when they noticed her but that was all.

"Did you hear about last night?" Elizabeth asked as Abigail handed her a plate with two perfectly round pancakes.

"I did. Do you want a fruit cup?"

"Um. Okay" a perplexed Elizabeth replied. This isn't at all what I expected. Could it be that everyone has already forgotten about my humiliation and moved on to something else?

When she looked around again, she saw Wayne glare at her as he returned his tray to the used pile and then walked out of the cafeteria. Nope, it hasn't been forgotten.

"Abigail, what did you hear?" Elizabeth asked warily.

Abigail handed a fruit cup to Elizabeth and then busied herself refilling the coffee urn. "That Jack thought you were in danger and he made sure that you were safe."

"And Wayne?"

"He was mistakenly injured in the confusion", Abigail said evasively.

"You know very well that isn't all that happened. Now spill the beans. Last night when I went to bed, half the ship was teasing me. And this morning, no one has said a word. What's going on?"

Abigail's face broke out into a grin. "Jack's protecting you again."

"What are you talking about?"

"When he found out that some of guys were going to tease you this morning – they were going to tie themselves up for you - he made it perfectly clear that if anyone on this ship so much as used the letters 'S' and 'M' in the same sentence, he would lock them up for the remainder of our trip."

"He didn't?"

"He did. And he asked me not to serve my salted and milk chocolate pretzels for snacks after some of the guys referred to them as bondage knots.," Abigail said as she tried to hide her smile. "He really feels bad about last night."

"He should!"

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Elizabeth asked in surprise.

"Why should he feel bad? From what I understand, he raced to your side when he thought you were in danger. He beat up a man he thought had inappropriately groped you. And then when he realized that he had misinterpreted the entire situation, he took Wayne to the Medical Unit and apologized to him."

"Well . . yes. . . that's all true", Elizabeth hesitated when she tried to remember why she was mad at Jack. "But. . . but he made a fool out of me. First thinking I needed saving. Like I couldn't defend myself. Like I'm some delicate little woman. And then him thinking I was doing . . that. . . with Wayne."

"Most women would be flattered by what Jack did."

"I suppose" Elizabeth admitted with a shrug. "But I'm the ridicule of the ship!" she added vehemently.

"It's not that bad for you", Abigail replied dismissively. "It's worse for Jack."

"He can handle a little ribbing", Elizabeth said with a scoff.

"It's not that. It's his job. Wayne's seriously thinking about bringing criminal charges against Jack. He also wants to contact Jack's superiors and get Jack officially reprimanded."

"No!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "That's not fair!"

"Jack did punch him. Several times. Wayne's pretty banged up. Did you see him this morning?"

"Jack was just trying to protect me!" Elizabeth instinctively felt the need to protect Jack from everyone but herself. "He can't have it jeopardize his job!"

"That's the least of Jack's worries."

"What's more important than losing his job?!"

Abigail chuckled and gave Elizabeth a knowing look. "You're not speaking to him."

Jack looked at the bundle of green stems and bright yellow flowers in his hand. It was a good-sized bouquet. Probably more than Lori should be giving him from her experimental garden, but still he hesitated.

"Dandelions?" he asked in dismay. "Don't you have anything else?"

"Dent de lion. Eet is French for lion's tooth. Because leaves are like teeth. Zey are pretty, no?" Lori said in her thick accent as she wiped her hands on her apron. They were standing in the horticulture room among the smaller plants Lori was growing.

"I was hoping for something nicer. Something a girl would like to get so she'll forgive a guy for being stupid."

Lori looked at him with slight exasperation. "We are on a spaceship hurtling in space, I cannot just grow you your roses."

"Why does everyone refer to this ship as hurtling through space? I like to believe that we are on a predetermined course at the correct speed."

"Of course. Yes, of course. But I cannot grow roses. Dandelions yes. Zhey are useful for our new colony. You can make wine from zhem. Eat zhem. Zhey are ground cover. Zhey are resilient. Zhey spread quickly. Dandelions are good for our new colony."

"They may be good for the new colony, but they're not good for my love-life. If I give her dandelions instead of roses or something fancy, she may never forgive me. And she'll toss them in my face."

Lori drew back in surprise. "Toss een your face?"

"She comes from money. High society. She's probably had a hundred guys give her flowers. And I'm guessing that none of them ever gave her yellow weeds. They probably gave her huge expensive bouquets of dozens of long-stemmed red roses."

"But she didn't like roses", Lori remarked knowingly.

Jack looked at her dubiously. "How do you know that?"

"Because eef she did, she would not be on zhes ship. She would be with one of zhose men who gave her roses, no?"

Jack shrugged. "I suppose."

"Take the dandelion", Lori instructed as she busied herself with her tomato plants.

"It's a weed," Jack grumbled.

"Eet is like your girlfriend, yes?"

"A weed?" Jack raised his eyebrows at Lori. "Elizabeth is not a weed. And she's not my girlfriend. Yet."

"She ees a dandelion," Lori stated matter-of-factly. "Tolerant. Resilient. Pretty. Like sunshine. Something for you to wish on. Zhat ees a dandelion. Zhat ees your Elizabeth to you."

She's got a point, Jack realized as he looked at the flowers in his hand.

On the other side of the ship, Elizabeth stood in Wayne's small work-space.

"You cannot press charges against him or tell his superiors," she insisted to the engineer who had been doing his best to ignore her.

"Why not? Look at me! Look what he did to me", the man exclaimed as he turned to show Elizabeth his battered face.

Elizabeth winced slightly when she again saw the swollen lip. The black eye. The bruised cheek. "It was an honest mistake. You told me yourself that you have a criminal record!"

"For getting in a fight with a co-worker over what was the better profession. Materials engineering or mechanical engineering! I hit that guy once on the head with my laptop while we were both drunk! I didn't beat him up!"

Elizabeth had been trying for ten minutes to convince Wayne to forget the entire incident the night before but he refused to listen to reason.

"He was just trying to protect me," Elizabeth explained again as she tried to defend Jack's actions.

"From a magic trick?!"

"He thought it was a hostage situation. . . . It was possible", she added weakly.

"On a transporter?! What was I going to hold you hostage for? Oxygen?! Another granola bar?! A bigger berth?! No. Your boyfriend went too far."

"He's not my boyfriend. Yet."

"Whatever. He still went too far."

"If you report him, I swear I'll tell everyone how you do your magic tricks", Elizabeth finally threatened.

Wayne rolled his eyes at her. "We practiced for a week, I told you how I did them, I showed you how I did them, and you still couldn't figure them out. I think my magician secrets are safe."

"Please, Wayne. What can I do to get you to change your mind?" she pleaded. "He can't get in trouble for what he did. He just can't. Law enforcement is everything to him."

Wayne stared at Elizabeth for a moment. Eyeing her up and down.

"How much is it worth to you?" he finally asked with a thoughtful expression.

The corridor was empty as Elizabeth walked back to her living quarters. She didn't like the deal she had made with Wayne but it was worth it to keep Jack out of trouble. She already felt dirty.

When she buzzed her bracelet in front of the door, it slid open revealing that none of her roommates were inside.

Walking past the shower room, she sighed. Oh shower, I'm going to miss our long times together. Your warmth. Your gentle massage. The way you sooth me.

But I didn't have a choice. It was you or Jack's career.

Water-minutes were a commodity to the women on the transporter and most of Elizabeth's minutes were now going to go to a cute female rocket scientist whom Wayne was trying to impress.

Wayne had driven a hard bargain. A large chunk of Elizabeth's water-minutes - which actually were partly her roommates because they had given her so many - for his silence.

I'm down to one minute a day for the rest of this trip.

Jack, I hope you're worth it, she thought with another sigh.

Seeing Jack's sketchpad on his berth, Elizabeth picked up a pencil and wrote him a short note.

Jack, I'm sorry I over-reacted. I talked to Wayne and he's going to forget the whole thing (he's also replaced me for his talent show act. Apparently, I was never going to be good enough – oh well.) Thanks for coming to my rescue, Elizabeth.

She left the note on his berth, plopped onto her own her mattress, and wondered what to do now. Going to the fitness center to use the treadmills was out of the question. She realized that she'd just get sweaty and then want to take a shower to clean up, which she could no longer afford to do.

If I'm smelly, Jack will never want me. Even if he forgives me for getting so mad at him last night, he won't want a sweaty girlfriend who can't shower.

How am I supposed to clean myself and wash my hair and condition it in one minute?!

Hmmm, maybe instead of one one-minute shower every day, I could just take one seven-minute shower once a week. That would give me six days where I would have to avoid anything dirty or strenuous. And avoid people.

So basically, I'd get lazy, fat, and lonely.

Or I can shower every other day for two minutes and twenty seconds each time. I'd just have to find a way to avoid Jack every non-shower day.

I suppose I could go swimming.

Elizabeth hadn't been swimming on the transporter but she knew that several other passengers, including Jack, liked the small pool with its never-ending current. Standing up, she went to lift up her mattress and retrieve her swimsuit from the compartment below. It was then that she noticed the small plastic bottle on the shelf above her pillow.

Oh, Dandelions!

Unable to keep from smiling, she brought the flowers to her face, sniffed them, and giggled. Not exactly like a fancy perfume.

But so sweet!

She picked up the note on the shelf. Friends? Forgive me? Jack.

He got me dandelions, she thought giddily. They're so pretty.

Wherever in the world did he get dandelions on a transporter in the middle of deep space?! she wondered as she shook her head in happy amusement and held the flowers to her chest.

Up next: Chapter 13

Dear Readers, I had no idea where I was going to go with this chapter until I read the reviews for the last chapter. One reviewer didn't think Elizabeth had a good reason to be mad, another reviewer wondered how Jack was going to get out of his mess, and another mentioned that both Jack and Elizabeth are realizing that they are meant for each other. So, I decided to work off of the reviews and came up the chapter. :)🙂 Thanks for your thoughts!

P.S. Some of you may recognize the title from another one of my stories. I used in in Reversal when a silly Jack thought Elizabeth had a baby "kid" she had abandoned.