Author's Notes: So, I've been wanting to write this part for quite some time, but they were both being incredibly closed-mouthed about how their physical relationship began. I wanted to avoid clichés (such as Merit nearly dies, forcing Obi-Wan to realize what she means to him … because let's face it, Obi-Wan is a trouble magnet, as is Merit just by virtue of being a Skywalker, and those two are nearly dying every other week … if not more often), and I wanted their first time to fit them both. And then, I happened to read the liner notes from a particular CD I own, and a set of lines from one of the songs caught my attention. Funny, how often music lyrics or poetry lines knock something loose. I made a reference to those lines, when Merit talks about the lullaby her mother sang to her when she was a child. If you're interested, the artist is David Arkenstone, the CD is Caravan of Light, and the song is Skies of Africa. The exact lyrics are: 'when all the stars begin to come alive, I can walk into the darkest night.' Not quite what Merit remembers, but children don't always remember exactly. What she remembers more than anything else is her mother's arms around her and feeling safe. I leave on vacation in nineteen days … I'm heading for Budapest, my first time in Central Europe. Who knows what ideas will pop into my head during my many hours in the air, especially if (God forbid) I can't sleep again on the long flight from Atlanta to Amsterdam? We'll soon find out, m'dears ... and yes, I did end it before things got ... interesting between them, because Obi-Wan refused to say anything about what happens next.

Chapter Seven

To See Stars

Palace of Queen Breha

Alderaan

Two and a half years after the New Jedi Reforms

"Good evening, your Majesty. Have you seen … oh. Hello there, little one."

Breha, Queen of Alderaan, smiled a little as Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi entered her sitting room. The young Knight looked a bit bemused to find Bran Solo sound asleep in a nest of blankets on the floor, but he didn't ask the obvious question. Instead, he asked, his voice dropping considerably to avoid waking the little boy, "Have you seen Merit since she left him here?" Ah … that's a much better question, the queen of Alderaan thought.

"She left Bran here about an hour ago … I believe she said she was going to the roof," Breha answered serenely. The young man's lips moved, but again, he didn't ask the obvious question. Instead, his eyes focused on Bran as if the toddler held all the secrets of the universe. And who was to say that he didn't? However, the young Knight merely inclined his head and started to leave the room … presumably in search of Bran's mother. Breha thought quickly about what her next move should be. Like anyone with a working set of eyes, she noticed the attraction between the two and the way they interacted. Should she give them a little help?

Maybe not help … but something else? As Obi-Wan turned, Breha said softly, "You might look for her in the highest section of the roof. She mentioned needing to see stars." Breha wondered if he would catch the double meaning. The way he hesitated before inclining his head indicated that he did indeed. He glanced at the toddler, and Breha added, "It is my delight to watch over this little one. Go. See to his mother." She hadn't known what to make of the pair when they arrived on Alderaan. She didn't know what to make of the Jedi, period. But the bantering between the two Knights over the last few days (to say nothing of the child who nestled contentedly in his mother's arms) went far in alleviating any discomfort she might have felt.

As did the conversation she had with Merit Solo the night before. She found the dark-haired Jedi sitting cross-legged on the ledge of the balcony outside her room, staring out into the night. The other young woman immediately apologized, saying that she'd merely been looking for some place open. Breha was equally quick to inform her that there was no need for her to apologize. A companionable silence fell between them, one that was only broken when Breha asked about Bran. A conversation followed about the little boy, about Knight Solo's adoption of him (informal until the Jedi Order intervened), since his parents were evidently killed and the Master of the Order returned with the baby from a mission. She acknowledged with a laugh that she was just carrying on a family tradition … the Knight's own grandmother was placed with a childless couple after the infant's mother died in childbirth and her father might as well have died. She'd added, turning her face to the sky, that her grandmother was raised on a world very much like Alderaan … a world that no longer existed. Breha hadn't asked any questions after that. She was afraid of the answer. Knight Solo … or Merit, as she asked Breha to call her … murmured that she was worried about what she found on Alderaan. Her brother died on Naboo, forever poisoning any joy she may have found there. But here, strangely enough, she could find peace, however briefly. Breha wasn't sensitive to the Force, but she could tell that peace was something this young woman wasn't accustomed to.

And so, she quietly made arrangements with the head of her security to allow Knight Solo … Merit … access to the roof so she could see the stars and breathe freely. It was a wish she could fully understand (her head of security agreed, hoping that a Jedi would be able to find the holes in security that others would miss). Breha repeated, sensing now that it was truly important for both of the Jedi, "Look for her on the tallest parts of the roof, where it's easiest to see the stars. Once Bran was asleep, she told me about a song her mother used to sing to her, about the stars. Perhaps when she sees them, she feels close to her mother and grandmother again." Knight Kenobi inclined his head and she returned her attention to Bran. So, if he didn't realize that she saw him blow a small kiss to the sleeping youngster … well, that was easily forgiven.

Breha smiled to herself as the Knight exited and settled herself down beside Bran, murmuring, "Well, then, little one … I've done my part. Now it's up to your parents." Because, whether Obi-Wan Kenobi understood it in these terms, he was now Bran's father. And Breha wasn't about to break that news to him. He wouldn't believe her … and this was something he would have to figure out on his own. Along with a few other … things.

SWSWSWSWSWSWSW

The tallest parts of the roof … well, that certainly narrowed things down! Assuming, of course, that he used his eyes, rather than the bond that developed between himself and Merit. And he was using the bond, which guided him across the rooftop of the palace. He teased Merit once about where her love of heights came from, and she dryly observed that it seemed likely she inherited it from her maternal grandfather. He was quite similar to her paternal grandfather … they were both rogues with hearts of gold, to say nothing of being outrageous flirts. It was a running joke in their family while her mother was growing up that her father was good on roofs. It seemed that Merit inherited that tendency.

And … there she was, sitting atop the highest pinnacle of the palace. Of course. Where else would she be? She smirked down at him, her expression more at ease than he'd seen in a long time. At least since her brother's death. He asked with a tiny smirk of his own, "Find what you were looking for?" As he spoke, he glanced around, gesturing to the planet as a whole. She rolled her eyes before jumping lightly down to stand beside him, and if that wasn't designed to give him an unpleasant shock, he didn't know what was. He huffed softly, "So uncivilized."

"I'm sorry, was that intended as an insult?" Merit inquired innocently, and it was Obi-Wan's turn to roll his eyes with exasperation. She smiled softly, turning her attention back to the vista before them, murmuring, "It really is beautiful. I try not to think about it being … no longer there in my time. And seeing all this … it makes it easier." Yes. She told him about Alderaan's original fate, the one she was trying to avert. Merit went on, "I sometimes wonder … the problem with time travel is making sure you change the right things. It terrifies me, the idea that I may be creating a worse future than the one I came from. It's hard to imagine such a thing is possible, but one thing I learned during the course of my life … it can always be worse."

"But the Force itself sent you back, Merit," Obi-Wan countered, "you didn't seek out the knowledge, it was given to you." She nodded, although she still looked concerned. Obi-Wan took her hand, having learned some time before that his partner was very tactile. He himself wasn't inclined toward physical affection, but Merit was … and Bran was quickly becoming just as tactile as his mother. The morning before they left for Alderaan, Bran surprised him by hugging his leg before Obi-Wan left for his briefing with the Council. He repeated, "The Force sent you back. It spoke to the Council through you. Maybe you can't make a better future than the one you came from, because maybe that's not your responsibility … maybe your responsibility is to give us the tools we need to make that better future."

And where those words came from, he wasn't entirely sure … just that they were the ones Merit needed to hear. He could almost see the change in her posture, the straightening of her shoulders, when he spoke them. She smiled at him a bit shyly and squeezed his hand. Obi-Wan remembered what the queen told him before sending him up here, and asked, "So … you needed to see the stars?" Merit actually laughed at that and turned back to the night-darkened view of Alderaan, casting a glance up into the night sky. Her chin tilted upward, allowing the breeze to caress her face and hair.

"When I was a little girl, before things fell apart … my mother sang a lullaby to me. I don't remember much of it, just that when the stars light up the sky, I can walk the darkest path. It has been so long since I saw starlight, Obi-Wan. I don't know … I suppose starlight makes me feel safe, as silly as that may sound. Maybe because it reminds me of a time when I was safe. I … blocked out so many memories of when I was little. Memories of sitting in my father's lap as he flew. I was so little when he Fell for the final time, but I can remember sitting in his lap, his arms around me," Merit murmured. Obi-Wan didn't speak, didn't dare breathe … it was so rare that Merit spoke of her father. And those times when she spoke of the rare good memories she had of him … well, this was a first.

Was it because she was a mother herself now, and found herself thinking more and more about those lost years, the ones she couldn't allow herself to remember … the ones when she was safe and happy and loved by both of her parents? Obi-Wan wasn't about to ask … it really wasn't any of his business … but he had a suspicion that was the case. And then, he thought about what she said … starlight makes me feel safe. He asked slowly, because while this wasn't his business either, he was curious about it, "Merit … when was the last time you saw starlight?" He had the sense it was a long time, given what she told him. Merit was silent for several moments, staring into the night. The breeze lifted her hair once more, almost seemed to be playing with it. She offered a half-smile, reaching up to smooth her hair back into place and backing up a few steps to get another perspective on the stars over their heads.

"Not long before Uncle Luke was killed. Most of our refuges were in underground bunkers … often old Imperial headquarters. Uncle Luke enjoyed the irony. So did Thane. Even when we were outside, the fires from our father's attacks blocked out the night sky … or I was just too focused on staying alive, on keeping our charges alive, to look up," she finally said. She turned to face him more fully, adding almost hesitantly, "I know now that safety is an illusion. There is no such thing as a safe place, not for any of us, whether we're Jedi or not, Force-sensitive or not. But … I feel safe here, in this time, at the Temple. And … I feel safe with you."

Obi-Wan swallowed hard. Over the years, he'd heard more and more about Merit's early life, and growing up on the run. He realized what a gift she'd just given to him. It was the greatest expression of trust she could have offered to him, this young woman who liked many people but trusted few. They were Jedi, and safe was the last thing any of them were. And yet, this woman hadn't been truly safe since she was a small girl. The last person who could make her feel safe was dead, had been for nearly three years. He said softly, "I would die to protect you … you and Bran both. I don't … just don't ask me to give more than I'm capable of offering. I can't give you the universe, the galaxy, or even the planet." Merit's lips parted and that half-smile broadened, ever so slightly.

"I wouldn't ask you to do that. One of the reasons my great-grandfather Fell was because he put the well-being of one person, one woman, before the entire galaxy. From what he told me before we were sent back, he had a habit of doing that. And in the end, he hurt the person he was trying to protect. A familiar story in my family, unfortunately. And, I wouldn't ask you to do that, I don't want you to do that. I don't think I could bear the guilt if you did. I'm not a strong person, Obi-Wan … certain not strong enough to survive being the reason for such destruction," Merit replied. She took a step forward, and then another, and then another, until he could feel her breath on his face. Her smile turned impish as she asked, "Would you be capable of giving me your passion tonight, your desire? Will you let me make love to you, Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

His own breath stilled in his throat at the words. He was quite aware of the glances she'd sent his way from the moment they'd stepped on Alderaan, heated glances that sent heat surging through his own body. But they had a job to do and they'd done that. The mission was complete now, ahead of schedule, and they had the next three days to themselves before the shuttle returned from the Temple. Three days. And Breha already demonstrated that she was more than happy to take care of Bran (who was equally happy to be with the pretty young queen).

And then he thought about the way she asked that … making his breath catch in his throat again. He reached forward a few inches (a few decades) to take both of her hands and answered, his voice equally soft, "Only if you allow me to make love to you, my dear lady knight." Her smile grew brighter at his teasing nickname for her and she swayed forward, just enough for Obi-Wan to release her hands and cup her face, his thumbs caressing her cheekbones. Staring into her brown eyes, he kissed her lightly on the lips. Her eyes drifted closed, but she stepped closer to him, deepening the kiss. Her hand went to the nape of his neck, and Obi-Wan shivered a little.

Merit pulled back, looking more than a little dazed, but she managed to ask, "Are you cold? Should we go inside?" No, he wasn't cold … but going inside did sound like an excellent idea. So excellent, in fact … he scooped Merit into his arms, drawing a surprised laugh from her, and began carrying his partner toward the egress to the roof. He kissed her again as he walked, her arms wrapping around his neck, and he was only vaguely aware that the door opened before them (he would ask Queen Breha about it later).

He would take great care in divesting Merit of her tunic, robes, and leggings … unwrapping her as if she was much-desired Life-day gift (which she was). And then he would make love to her, show her just how dear she was to him. He would kiss each scar and swallow each moan. And even if they weren't outside, he would show her stars.

TBC