Disclaimer: I own nothing and probably never will.
Authors Notes:
"This is talking."
'This is thinking.'
'This is a spirit.'
"This is singing."
Review:
Lincoln got shot in the nuts, and had a joke off with Luan. Luna had a conversation with her mother. And the Twilight's Hammer are doing interesting things in the dark.
Now let the curtain raise on yet another act.
Chapter 12: Changes
"Lincy?" Leni asked one morning a few days after the incident in the hallway. "Your shirt looks totes small on you today did you accidently shrink it in the wash?"
"That cant be right." Lincoln thought outloud. "This is a brand new shirt mom and dad bought me a few days ago. It's a size larger then I wore before, even if it is a little tight." Lincoln stated as he pulled at the cuff of the shirt sleeve.
"Your pants are showing ankle Stinkoln, or are you wearing a pair of capris?" Lynn Jr. joked.
"They're right dude. You must have hit a growth spurt since you got out of the hospital." Luna stated as she looked Lincoln over. "Now that I get a good look at ya..." Luna started. "Stand back to back with Lynn for a sec." Luna urged. Lincoln and Lynn Jr. did as instructed and stood back to back. "Blimey!" Luna exclaimed. Lincoln and Lynn Jr. looked at Luna confused.
"What?" Lynn Jr. asked impatiently.
"Lincoln has out grown you." Luan explained from her spot in line.
"WHAT!?" Lynn yelled turning to get a better look at Lincoln. She actually had to look up a few inches to see his face. "WHAT THE CRUDSTONES!"
"What is all the commotion up here." Lynn Sr. said as he walked up the stairs followed by Rita. They quickly spotted Lincoln and noticed the same thing the girls did. "You sure shot up like a weed, huh son?" Lynn Sr. joked. "Looks like you might need a haircut too sport." Lincoln reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. It now fell below his ears almost to his shoulders, when just yesterday it only barely touched his ears.
"Lisa can I speak with you privately for a second?" Lincoln spoke grabbing the spectacled girl by the arm and pulling her into his room before shutting the door. "What was in that stuff you shot me with the other day."
"It is called a Mutagen because it causes mutations to your genetic code." Lisa began. "In reality it was a delicate mix of ingredients that fuels a host of nanites. Their task is to change specific things about your homozygous recessive alleles to prevent undesired traits from passing to any F1 you might have with... *cough*" Lisa cleared her throat. "Any female with the last name Loud."
"Could it have done anything else?" Lincoln asked gesturing at himself. Lisa pulled out a tablet and began going over the information it received from the nanites that were supposed to shut down after they ran out of fuel. Only they didn't run out of fuel.
"Oh my." Lisa exclaimed.
"What is it." Lincoln asked concerned.
"Well it seems that the nutrient supplement that you have been prescribed by your doctor is being used as fuel by the nanites to fix your body to its peak physical condition." Lisa explained. "Only..." She trailed off scrolling through all the information she was receiving.
"Only what Lisa?" Lincoln demanded in fear.
"The nanites tapped into your memory. So they are trying to match your physical age to your mental age." Lisa finished.
"Is there a way to stop it or at least slow it down?" Lincoln asked.
"If you follow the doctors orders and continue to take the prescription, you will be physically eighteen in two weeks and age twenty five in five weeks." Lisa stated after some quick calculations. "though to account for accelerated puberty you will have to consume almost twice as much as your usual intake."
"What would happen if I stopped taking them? Would I regress to 14?" Lincoln asked his mind awhirl with possibilities.
"No, without the fuel the nanites would shut down and be flushed from your body." Lisa stated firmly. "According to the data the nanites are sending me you are now fifteen." The door opened revealing Lynn Sr. and Rita.
"Is there a problem?" Lynn Sr. asked.
"A side effect of prescribed medication and allergies." Lisa explained calmly lying to their parents. "If Lincoln stops taking the prescription given to him by the hospital the advanced growth should stop. However if he keeps taking it, it may not only cause a rapid series of growth spurts but also accelerated puberty and possibly shortening his life span." Rita looked at Lynn Sr. before looking over at Lincoln.
"How long can Lincoln take the prescription before it becomes dangerous to his health?" Rita asked. Lisa opened her mouth to say that he should stop immediately only to have Lincoln blurt out.
"Two weeks." Lisa narrowed her eyes at Lincoln trying to deduce what was going through his head. Two weeks would put him at eighteen the same age as... 'Oh ho, how clever male sibling unit. How clever indeed.'
"Should we contact the doctors about this side effect?" Rita asked concerned.
"No, while his growth is somewhat of a concern he is healthier then ever, in fact according to my readings..." Lisa began as she scrolled through the information on her tablet. "His muscle mass is almost up to his pre-coma self but still unhealthy for his current age. He needs to increase his protein and carbohydrate intake."
"She means I should eat twice as much meat and bread as usual." Lincoln explained to his confused parents. That seemed to calm them down. "However I'm going to need bigger clothes, adult sizes for me to grow into and a belt to hold up my pants until I do."
Everyone had gathered at the table to have lunch together. Lynn Sr. quickly whipped up hotdogs in mass for everyone as they had decided to order pizza for dinner. Small talk was the subject of the day as nonsensical conversations were had between different members of the family.
"I am totes looking forward to seeing Lori again when I join her at MSU this year." Leni squealed in delight when her mom asked her if she was looking forward to college.
"Hey Luna what does Al Gore play on his guitar?" Luan asked Luna. Luna rolled her eyes and took another bite of her hotdog. "An Algorithm. Get it?"
"You wanna play toads and tiaras later?" Lana asked Lola.
"Sure." Lola replied. "But you're the princess this time."
"Only if Hops can be the frog prince." Lana smiled.
"Luce we haven't hung out in a bit, you wanna go out for some sister bonding?" Lynn Jr. asked.
"*Sigh* I guess it wont kill me, unfortunately." Lucy replied.
"Male sibling unit are you experiencing any digestive discomfort?" Lisa asked in amazement as Lincoln scarfed down his ninth hotdog. "Lincoln swallowed and took a drink of his ice water before replying.
"Nope." Lincoln stated popping the p. "I am super hungry though."
"Naturally." Lisa nodded.
"Daddy?" Lily asked facing Lincoln.
"Yes?" Both Lynn Sr. and Lincoln said turning to face Lily.
"I wanted Daddy Wincoln, unwess you know a good song to sing." Lily stated.
"Oh." Lynn Sr. said a little disappointed. "No, I'm not a singer. But I do play a mean cowbell."
"Why is it mean?" Lily asked. "Does it buwly the other instwaments?" Lynn Sr. looked directly at Lily then over to Luan who had stopped mid joke when Lily spoke. Then he proceeded to break out in uncontrollable laughter, followed closely by Luan. Lily pouted not liking being laughed at.
"It means that he is really good at playing the cowbell. It is just an expression." Lincoln explained as he pulled her into his lap and softly rubbed her back. "I might know a song that both you and Lisa will like, at least you did in my dream." Lincoln said thinking the last bit in his head.
"I am intrigued male sibling unit. My taste in the quick harmonious and often vulgar forms of lyrical genius are not well shared with the rest of my female siblings." Lisa stated in a somewhat excited tone.
"Hey Luna." Lincoln called to his secret girlfriend. "Give me a beat, slowly at first then increasing the tempo as we go. Kay?"
"Right on dude." Luna smiled as she reached for her guitar behind her chair.
"Now it's time for our wrap up,
Let's give it everything we've got,
Ready, begin.
Artificial amateurs aren't at all amazing
Analytically, I assault, animate things
Broken barriers bounded by the bomb beat
Buildings are broken, basically I'm bombarding
Casually create catastrophes, casualties
Canceling cats got their canopies collapsing
Detonate a dime of dank daily doin' dough
Demonstrations, Don Dada on the down low
Eatin' other editors with each and every energetic
Epileptic episode, elevated etiquette
Furious fat fabulous fantastic
Flurries of funk felt feeding the fanatics
Gift got great global goods gone glorious
Gettin' Godly in his game with the goriest
Hit 'em high, hella height, historical
Hey holocaust hints hear 'em holler at your homeboy
Imitators idolize, I intimidate
In a instant, I'll rise in a irate state
Juiced on my jams like jheri curls jockin' joints
Justly, it's just me, writin' my journals
Kindly I'm kindling all kinds of ink on
Karate kick type brits in my kingdom
Let me live a long life, lyrically lessons is
Learned lame louses just lose to my livery
My mind makes marvelous moves, masses
Marvel and move, many mock what I've mastered
Ninjas nap knowin' I'm nice naturally
Knack, never lack, make noise nationally
Operation, opposition, off, not optional
Out of sight, out of mind, wide beaming opticals
Perfected poem, powerful punchlines
Pummeling petty powder puffs in my prime
Quite quaint quotes keep quiet it's Quannum
Quarrelers ain't got a quarter of what we got uh
Really raw raps, risin' up rapidly
Riding the rushing radioactivity
Super scientifical sound search sought
Silencing super fire saps that are soft
Tales ten times talented, too tough
Take that, challengers, get a tune up
Universal, unique untouched
Unadulterated, the raw uncut
Verb vice Lord victorious valid
Violate vibes that are vain make 'em vanished
While I'm all well what a wise wordsmith
Just weaving up words weeded up, on my work shift
Xerox, my X-ray-diation holes extra large
X-height letters and xylophone tones
Yellow back, yak mouth, young ones yaws
Yesterday's lawn yards sell our yawn
Zig zag zombies, zoomin' to the zenith
Zero in zen thoughts, over zealous rhyme Zea-lots.(1)"
Lincoln took a deep breath after he finished and bowed slightly to Lisa and Lily as they both clapped joyfully at his performance. The rest of the family joined in the applause shortly there after.
"Whoa," Lynn Jr. said. "I didn't know you could rap."
"That was an amazing array of alliteration." Lucy stated in her monotone.
"Nice chops dude." Luna said holding up rock horns.
"That was like totes cute what you did for Lisa and Lily." Leni said with a smile.
"Wow Lincoln, are you sure you didn't become a magician in your future dream?" Luan chuckled. "Because you keep pulling things out of your hat. Get it?" Luan said brandishing a top hat that she got from out of nowhere.
"Next song is ours." Lana and Lola stated firmly. "You sang for Lily and now Lisa, so we're next." this caused everyone to start laughing.
"That's my boy." Lynn Sr. stated ruffling Lincolns hair. "I knew you'd find your talent sooner or later."
"That's not my talent." Lincoln said firmly getting strange looks from everyone. "I taught myself how to sing. It was hard work especially keeping it quiet from all of you. I may be okay at singing now because of all the work I put into it but it is not my talent."
"Did you ever find your talent?" Rita asked.
"Yes, in a round about way." Lincoln smiled. "I took a job working apprenticing to a blacksmith. At first it was grunt work, hauling raw materials, taking orders from customers, etc. But after a month or so he let me work the forge, he gave me some scrap metal that was left over after a large order and told me to have fun. 'You only make something amazing when you don't worry about disappointing anyone.' I took that to heart and just went to work." Lincoln leaned back in his chair pulling Lily into his chest as he looked up to stare at the ceiling. "I kinda zoned out only paying attention to the sound of the hammer hitting hot metal on the anvil. When I came back to myself I had a molten hot sword in my hands. I quenched it in oil like I'd seen the blacksmith do with his orders. When I pulled it out it didn't look like much. The blacksmith came over and took it from my hand."
"What did he do with it?" Lynn Jr. asked excitedly.
"He took it over to a sander and used it to smooth out the sides, and sharpen the edges of the blade. Then he dipped it back in the oil and took it to the polisher and made it shine almost to the point of becoming reflective. When that was done he wrapped the blade gently in a cloth and took a closer look at the tang." Lincoln explained. "The tang is the part that goes inside the handle."
"Oooooh." Everyone said in unison.
"'This is extraordinarily well balanced for a first try Lincoln.' He said. He then put this beautiful guard shaped like a leaf, that he had been saving for something special, on the tang and slid it up snugly against the blade." Lincoln stated as he remembered when it happened in his dream. "He took a thick piece of boar leather and wrapped it around the tang before he reached down into a bucket and pulled out a length of what looked like wet shoe string. Turns out it was deer hide cut into long thin strips and soaked in brine to keep supple. As he weaved the deer hide in intricate patterns along the handle he explained. 'The coarseness of the patterns will increase the grip and when the hide hardens in the heat it will become impossible to take off.'"
"What did you do with it when he was done?" Lynn Sr. asked curiously.
"We sold it to a collector for half a million dollars." Lincoln stated with a smile. "The next three or four swords I made sold for about the same. And since I made them from un needed scrap we got to keep all the profits. 30% going to the blacksmith, and 70% to me."
"YOU WERE A MILLIONAIRE?!" Lynn Jr. screeched.
"I did say I only had to work 3 or 4 days a month to live comfortably." Lincoln replied.
Meanwhile at the Royal Woods Middle School, a group of armed men dressed in all black were breaking into the office.
"Spread out and find anything you can on a white haired boy who missed a year of school." One of the men ordered.
"Yes Sir." The rest saluted and moved to follow his order.
"Sir I found something." One of the men said holding up an old yearbook he picked up from a bookshelf. "Is this the kid?" He pointed to Lincoln in a class photo.
"That matches the description that Deamon ordered us to be on the look out for. What's his name?" The first man asked.
"Lincoln Loud." The other man replied.
"Good, find his home address while I contact Deamon for our next orders." The first man stated firmly before walking out of the room and making a call on his cell. "Sir we have the targets name and are in the process of getting his home address."
"Great work, Ocelot." Deamon's voice came over the speaker. "Send scouts to track the kid, find him when he is alone, and bring him to me. I want him before the end of the month. If you can't get him alone kidnap whoever he's with as well. Don't fail me or I'll put your head on a stake next to your father's."
1. Alphabet Aerobics by Blackalicious