A/N: Again, a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the story, or just stopped by to read it. I hope you're having fun with it! This chapter contains subtle hints of Royai and Ed/Win. Very subtle (I promise to go in depth a little more in later chapters). Happy reading!

I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or any of its characters.

Alliance

It was easy to forget sometimes. He wasn't like he was supposed to be, not really, and given a change in circumstances, he might have been different. But he walked down the hallway straight and with shoulders back, like a grown-up. His eyes focused on the faces of those he spoke to with an unsettling intensity. He lived his life for someone else, selfless to a degree that some adults never even achieved. So it was easy, unbelievably easy, to forget sometimes when looking at him.

But Edward Elric was a teenager, and that wasn't something even he could suppress all the time.

His wilder side slipped out just frequently enough to keep everyone at Eastern Headquarters on edge. When Ed gave in to his age, he did so with the same reckless abandon he used for everything he did. He was notorious for pulling pranks. Sometimes it was something as simple as transmuting Havoc's cigarettes into chalk when the other man left the room. Occasionally he went all out, and proved once again just how much of a prodigy he really was.

The entire staff of Eastern Headquarters was still completely at a loss for how he had managed to create such believable looking ghosts while simultaneously triggering an alchemic reaction that shut down all the power within the building.

So, whenever the Elric brothers were at the base for more than a week, the staff took metaphorical (and sometimes literal) cover and waited for the latest explosion.

Ed wasn't yet to the point of having to blow something up to alleviate his boredom, but he was fidgety enough to regress back to the badgering that accompanied his actual age. Colonel Mustang was his favorite target (it took a while to break down that cool composure, but it was always worth once he got through), and so Ed was parked on the couch in his office. His feet were up on the table, because he knew Mustang hated it, and he observed with almost maniacal glee how far he'd brought the older man already. Mustang's right eye was twitching dangerously, and he was grinding his teeth hard enough that Ed could hear it. And all Ed had done so far was suggest that Mustang ask Hawkeye on a date.

Okay, maybe that wasn't exactly the way he'd phrased it. What he'd actually said had been more along the lines of telling Mustang to remove his head from his ass and ask Hawkeye out already, because anyone with half a brain could see how stuck he was on her.

"I mean, it's not like you're fooling anybody," Ed said, flopping back against the seat and surveying his handiwork with great enjoyment. "Why don't you just tell her you like her already?"

Mustang drilled two fingers into his temple, obviously attempting to ease the ache Ed had established there.

"Because I'm not in middle school," he snapped. "You make it sound like I should have a friend hand her a note I wrote in study hall."

"Actually, that sounds about right for someone like you. You should give it a try. From what I hear, it would be a step up from your usual method anyway."

Mustang lowered his hand and rubbed his fingers together, as if the urge to give one good snap and blast Ed into oblivion was quickly becoming a physical one.

"There are complications," Mustang hissed. "Reasons why I am currently unable to seek a more substantial relationship with the Lieutenant. I have to look out for her interests, as well as mine."

Was he actually defending himself, and to this obnoxious brat? How was it that Ed always knew exactly what buttons to push to get his blood pumping, when most people had never even seen him drop his carefully constructed composure?

And, damn it all to hell, if the kid didn't wipe that big, shit-eating grin off of his face, Mustang was going to forget the control he prided himself on and flame the boy into a blob on the carpet.

Ed shrugged, rolling his shoulders with careless insolence.

"Or you're just afraid she'll shoot you down," he said lightly.

"And why would I ever take dating advice from you, Fullmetal?" the Colonel exploded. "Have you ever even had a girlfriend? Or are you…Hmmm."

Mustang cut himself off mid-sentence. After a short pause, he relaxed back into his seat and a small smirk curved his mouth. Instantly, Ed went on automatic alert. When smiling, Mustang was never to be trusted.

"All right, Fullmetal," Mustang said, and the amusement in his voice only raised Ed's red flag a little higher. "I'll make you a deal. I'll tell Lieutenant Hawkeye that I like her as more than a friend…as soon as you call your automail mechanic back in Resimbool and tell her the same thing."

At once, Ed was on his feet, his fists raised and his face turning a rather alarming shade of red. He opened his mouth to deliver one of his famous rants ( a rant that Mustang was already settling back to enjoy), but he never got the chance. Before he could utter so much as one shriek of rage, the door to Mustang's office flew open, all but bursting off the hinges.

Through it danced Major Armstrong, on a wave of bulging muscles and pink glitter.

"Gentlemen!" he cried in his booming voice. "I couldn't help but overhear! If wooing the ladies is a burden weighing heavy upon your hearts, please allow me to offer my assistance!"

The gigantic man stopped in the center of the room, oblivious to the horrified looks coming from both Flame and Fullmetal. He clasped his hands together-hands the size of Mustang's head-and his blue eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

"Refined and chivalrous decorum has been passed down in my family for generations, along with the use of beautiful and artistic alchemy. The Armstrong line is famous for its superior skill in winning the hearts of genteel and well-mannered young maidens. Oh, what a happy day for you, to find yourselves partaking in such an exemplary tradition!"

Mustang looked at the small and curious crowd that had gathered outside his door, a crowd that included Lieutenant Hawkeye. Then he met Ed's golden eyes and bared his teeth in a savage grin.

The explosion rocked the office, and sent a small shudder racing through Eastern Headquarters in its entirety.

The staff looked up for a brief moment, before returning to their duties with a communal sigh of relief. Now that the ground was rocking beneath their feet, they knew that they had at least four days of relative peace before the next boredom-inspired explosion. When Major Armstrong wandered out a bit later, his uniform badly singed and covered in what looked like pond slime, the staff only shook their heads and gave thanks that they weren't the targets of this particular attack.

Mustang's secretary almost died in shock, however, when she heard the Colonel and Major Elric actually agreeing about something.

From what she could make out through the office door, they both declared that it was the most satisfying display of alchemy they'd used in a long time.