10
Life's Not Fair
Cisco shook his head as he gazed at Barry, watching as Caitlin slowly and carefully flicked a flashlight over his eyes. Barry winced and leaned out of the way, gently pushing at Caitlin's wrist.
"Cait, I'm fine," he said. "I've been up for hours."
"You're not fine, Barry," Caitlin said. She shook her head, lowering her hand. "You were unconscious for a long time. Longer than we've ever seen." Her eyes roved over him, almost as if she expected to see an alien burst from his chest. "We weren't sure if you were going to come out of it."
"I think you're overreacting a little, CaIt," Cisco said calmly. He folded his arms and angled his head towards Barry. "He was only out for a day."
"Considering his healing powers, that's a long time for a speedster," Cadence pointed out.
Caitlin nodded in agreement. She lowered the flashlight and took a step back, allowing Joe and Iris to move to Barry's side, looking him over. Barry, weakly, started to protest their fussing but knew it was no use. Every time he went out the front door there was a chance he would be killed in some way that they wouldn't see coming. But another speedster? They thought they'd gotten rid of them with Zoom. Or even with Jesse being there now. Caitlin glanced over at the young speedster, who hovered near the side of the group.
What was she thinking? That she would've been able to handle who came after her. She suddenly became aware of how Harry had to have felt. How much fear and trepidation he had for Jesse going anywhere near any of the villains they came across. She understood how Cadence felt in her almost vicious want and need to protect Brady.
"You're the only one that could see that thing?" Caitlin finally asked, putting her supplies away.
Barry nodded to confirm it. "Yeah," he agreed. "Cadence and Brady were there, but they couldn't see anything that was attacking me."
"It was like he was floating," Brady added with an earnest nod.
Iris dropped her hands from Barry's face and folded her arms, chewing her lower lip. She let out a long breath and exchanged a glance with her father before asking the question they were all silently pondering. "Why? Why were they the only ones that couldn't see him?"
"When we got the panic signal from Brady, we didn't see anything either," Cisco reminded her. He twisted his mouth to the side, eyes moving downcast. Almost as if he couldn't look at Barry. "It was like he was a puppet on strings, being pulled back and forth."
"But you saw…whatever it was?" Joe asked Barry, who nodded again. "And you said it was like a…" he trailed off, allowing Barry to fill in the rest.
"It was like a mechanical armor, moving all on its own," Barry explained. He looked away, as if staring at the entity once more. He reached up a hand and moved it through the air, drawing the outline of the creature. "It was a metallic suit with spikes all over it, a blue glow coming from beneath the cracks of its armor." He reached up to scratch the back of his head. "Honestly, I don't know how they were able to move that fast with all of that armor on it. But, yeah, I could see him just fine."
"It has to be that they're both speedsters," Cadence decided. "I can move fast, but that was even too fast for me. And this guy was practically teleporting. He was going for broke." She had grabbed Brady and teleported as fast as she could after Barry and the new speedster. But what Caitlin and Cisco had seen on screen, dots rapidly appearing on screen all at the same time, had been what Cadence had seen.
She twisted back and forth, clutching Brady to her side as she watched Barry continue to get dragged around and around. Only finding him when the speedster had finally come to a stop, his point proven with an unconscious Barry lying silently on the ground.
Barry shook his head. "Whatever it was, it's what we're really up against. Alchemy has to be some sort of a distraction, waiting until we were preoccupied with that and Clarriss so that he could come in and…" Barry broke off and looked around at his friends, his team. He didn't know what this new speedster was going to do. He—or she, Barry realized—could've killed him. Instead, he let him get away. There was a reason for it and the sooner they figured it out, the better. "I think he's more than a speedster. It was like we weren't moving it was like we were instantly somewhere else. Like when Cade teleports, but faster. He said his name was Savitar."
"The Hindu God of Motion," HR remarked, turning all eyes to him. It was the first time he'd spoken since Barry woke up. Long enough that Cisco continuously looked over at HR while they waited over Barry. It was jarring enough when he was quiet compared to when he didn't shut up.
"How do you know that?" Cisco asked. This was a man who didn't seem to know much about what they were doing as Team Flash, so to pop that up out of nowhere? Uh-uh, no. There had to be something else going on.
HR's eyebrows rose when he realized Cisco spoke to him and he grinned, spinning his drumsticks around his fingers once more but not with as much fever as he typically showed. After a nasty incident of a wayward drumstick flying into a computer screen, and Caitlin's giving him a stern talking to, he kept better track of his instrument accessory.
"Oh! When I shook hands with the Harrison Wells over here,"—started to motion to Harrison then stopped, eyes narrowing for a fraction of a second. "Sorry, not this Harrison, the other Harrison."
"Harry," Jesse supplied.
"Right! Whew, kind of hard to remember, right? Just be glad we're not exactly triplets you know? Anyway, I got some sort of a brain zap that gave me a lot of information. And I mean a lot of information. It was like my brain melted." He wiggled his fingers beside his head, chuckling to himself. Nearly giggling with glee. Then he sobered and added, "Oh, and I'm a crossword wizard."
"A mind-meld," Cadence said, speaking of the phenomenon they learned when visiting Earth-2. If one doppelganger on and Earth touched their doppelganger of another Earth, they were able to see everything the other doppelganger had experienced in their lives while simultaneously keeping them linked together. Every now and then Cadence got glimpses into what Burnout was doing and knew it was the same vice-versa.
Though Burnout probably disliked watching her life more than Cadence disliked watching Burnout's.
"Hindu God of Motion," Harrison said. He pulled off his clear-rimmed glasses and pinched at the bridge of his nose, eyes scrunching up in thought. "In many depictions he has golden arms and large, skillful hands. Just as his arms are golden, his eyes are golden as well. He has a golden chariot with a golden axle."
"He said he was a God," Barry added.
"And apparently, he really, really likes gold," Brady remarked, lifting his eyebrows. If it wasn't for the fact that he had seen Savitar in person—as much as one could see an invisible individual—he probably wouldn't have thought much of Savitar.
"Yeah, well, we'll have to figure some things out if we're going to stop this guy," Barry said. He raised his hands and started to put it on the end of the examining table to get up. Joe quickly held out his hand and placed it on Barry's shoulder, holding him down.
"Not so fast, Barry. You just woke up from a coma," he said.
"A one day coma, Joe. I'm fine." Barry started to move again then stopped, feeling Joe's hand press harder down onto his shoulder. He sighed and hung his head, knowing Joe wanted to speak to him about something. He hadn't even needed to look at Joe's face to know for sure. The look was burning into the side of Barry's head, the same way it always had when things were serious.
The others must've noticed the same, or else Joe had given them a look, for they all slowly, quietly started to leave the examining room. But Barry couldn't help but become curious when Iris turned to Cadence saying, "Can we find a room to talk in?" with Cadence nodding back. She then walked to Barry and carefully pressed a kiss to the side of his head, pressing her forehead against his to quietly murmur, "I'm glad you're okay," before leaving the room.
Barry looked up at Joe as he folded his arms. Then he pulled up a chair and sat next to Barry, placing his hands on his knees. Joe looked at his proverbial son for a long moment before finally speaking. "What is it, Bare?"
Taken aback, Barry blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?"
Joe waited another long moment, as if trying to figure out if Barry was telling the truth. Then he leaned forward, looking deep into Barry's eyes. "I mean, what is it? This Savitar thing. What is it about it that's bothering you? What is it that made you want to stay in your coma?"
"Stay in my…I don't…" Barry started to falter, squeezing his fingers into a fist.
Joe shook his head. "I know you, Bare. I know you better than you know yourself. Your powers aren't what makes you a hero. Your speed isn't your superpower. Your hope is. Your drive. Your want to make the world a better place. All of that is what makes you, Barry Allen, a hero." He continued to look Barry in the eye. "Which is why I find it so hard to believe that, even with your powers, you'd heal so slowly. Savitar hadn't done anything that others haven't done before but the longer you stayed under…"
He trailed off and Barry saw then, how much Joe's hands were shaking. It was then he realized how scared he was. The man who could go into a shadowed room with a gun drawn, no questions asked, was scared. And why wouldn't he be? The boy that had essentially became his son for most of his life had been struck by lightning and put into a nine-month coma. How did he know it wasn't happening all over again but by the hands of a speedster who may have just succeeded in killing him?
But the most important question, is how did Joe know he wasn't sure he wanted to wake up?
"If there's something going on, Bare, you have to tell me," Joe insisted. "I never thought you'd try something like…like…" he couldn't say the word.
"I wasn't," Barry reassured him. "I didn't, I don't want to die. I just…wanted everything to stop." He lifted his gaze and looked Joe in the eye, everything came spilling out at once. "Joe, you don't know what happened. Over in Flashpoint. I saw a life we didn't have, could've had. Over there, you were essentially an alcoholic. You didn't have your relationship with Iris and Wally or even with me. You were on the verge of being kicked out of your job, because of what happened to Francine, because you never told Iris about her and when Iris found out she was pissed. And there was Caitlin and Cisco and Cade…everything was different. We weren't a team. And the Reverse-Flash was there."
"Eobard Thawne was in Flashpoint?" Joe repeated.
Barry nodded. He clenched his hands tighter together. "I had captured him, had him locked in the same sort of cell Zoom locked me in. I had him." Tears came to his eyes. "I had him."
He hadn't told anyone about Flashpoint, about absolutely everything that happened. He'd told Brady a short version of it, not able to admit everything. He had to say it now. And as he told the story, he continued to relive it in his head, every last detail that haunted him.
"Having a bad day, Bare?" Eobard had lazily asked when Barry stalked back into the hidden warehouse that housed him. His eyes roved over Barry's. "I can see it in your face, something must've shaken you up. I mean,"—he looked at his gloved fingers—"It's not like I didn't warn you what'd happen. You only did what you wanted to do. Tsk tsk, Flash, do any of your friends know how selfish you are?"
Barry swallowed hard. A roaring filled his ears as he stood in front of Eobard. He had to say the words out loud. The ones that almost make him sick. Still, he pushed his disgust away and said firmly, "We have to go back to that time." He nodded once. "To that night."
Eobard's smile was ghastly. He felt nothing but pure glee as he asked, "To do what?"
"You know what," Barry spat.
"Yeah." Eobard slowly got to his feet. He brought his hands up to the side of his cowl, ready to bring it up over his head, over his eyes. Ready to conceal his identity once more. "But I want to hear you say it."
A lone tear streaked down Barry's cheek. "I want you to kill my mother," he managed to force out.
"With pleasure."
Another tear fell and while Barry didn't collapse into sobs, his entire body shook with effort. "I hate you."
"And I hate you," Eobard agreed. He waved a hand, ushering Barry to get a move on. Reluctantly, Barry let Eobard out of his prison. He stood back, watching as Eobard made a show of stretching his arms overhead before pulling up his cowl, eyes starting to glow red.
Barry turned, ready to run, then stopped when his legs buckled beneath him. No. Not again. That flushing feeling in his brain. He was losing more. He had to get going. Had to start running. Barry's feet shuffled, but he didn't' make it too far. Instead, Eobard grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and hefted him off the ground. With a disdainful shake of his head, Eobard said, "God, I wish I could kill you. But today, I get to be the hero."
And with a crack of thunder a flash of light, they were back to his childhood home that night and he had to watch, again, as his mother was murdered.
It was only then that Barry cried. He burst out into tears as Joe leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Barry, rocking him back and forth. "It's not fair," he murmured. "Everything was supposed to be okay. Then dad…and now mom again?" He sucked in another deep breath and started to speak, but found himself collapsing once more. "Now it's another speedster. Everything was supposed to be okay. When will it be okay?"
And Joe continued to rock him, rubbing his back as he always did when Barry as young and scared, after first arriving at the West house. And Barry knew Joe understood. Why was life treating him so badly? Why did his mother have to die, why did his father have to die, why did everything else fall apart when his mother was saved, why did she have to die again, why did it have to be another speedster? Why couldn't life just leave him alone?
And as Barry cried, Joe quietly rubbed his back. It was the only thing he could do. There was so much he could say, how Barry was strong, stronger than most of the people he'd known in the police force. He made tough decisions and stuck with those decisions even when things turned out in ways he didn't expect. And yet Barry continued to have a huge heart for the world around him.
Too bad the world wasn't always so kind to him.
"So, what'd you find out?" Cadence asked as soon as she closed the door to her practice room behind Iris. She turned to see Iris walking by her balance beam, gently running her fingers along the top of the polished wood. When Iris lifted her fingers, bits of chalk stuck to her fingertips. She was stalling, Cadence could tell. "Iris?"
Finally, Iris turned back to Cadence. "For White Hot? I found nothing." She slapped her hands to her side. "All of the contacts I've had, all of the security footage I could see…I even got some stuff from the CCPD, thinking they could've found something that Cisco and Caitlin may have missed. But nothing. There's no leads to who White Hot could be." She thought for a moment. "It's like, she suddenly appeared in town leaving no return address in case she got lost."
Cadence frowned, bringing her thumb up to chew at her nail. That wasn't what she'd expected but in many ways, it was exactly what she expected. Breathtaker had been alive for thousands of years, there had to be somewhere where he made a mistake. Any mistake at all. She thought hard about her time in the Assassination Bureau. She hadn't learned much until she started to rise up in the ranks of the hired assassin group. She had to have an open mind, quite literally. Multiple times he reminded them that they were only able to work well within the group had they opened their minds to him.
She was brought in to deliver packages and the next thing she knew, she was being taken along for the first hit. Against a political figure. Getting back after the hit had been completed, Cadence fell to her knees and sobbed for the life that had been taken. And Breathtaker and knelt along with her, pressing his hands to her head, reassuring her that everything was okay. She hadn't known it was his first step into figuring out how to break her.
His first step in figuring out how her mind worked, how hard she could be pushed before he had complete control. It hadn't taken long. His powers combined with Mindboggler's had taken her down. Then there were the times she moved, almost robotically, pushing aside the mounting horror that started to come up.
Come on, Cade, think, Cadence scolded herself. There's something you're not seeing. Minboggler, Incognito, and Stratos had been working for Breathtaker as long as she could remember, then White Hot suddenly joined…
"Cade," Iris said slowly. "What happened with the Assassination Bureau?" She paused then re-focused her question. "I know you've done some horrible things but…" She shook her head. "I don't know, I have the feeling you're not telling us everything."
Cadence gave a humorless smile. "Trust me, you don't ever want to hear it."
"I've heard a lot of terrible stories over the years. Stories from the cases my dad's worked on, stories about terrible people and horrific crimes. I can handle it."
"It's not a matter of whether or not I think you can handle it," Cadence said honestly. "It's about what you'd think of me after. Honestly, I don't think any of you would like me very much." Frustrated, she let out a low breath, blowing her bangs off her forehead. She ran a hand over her forehead, through her hair. "There's got to be something," she murmured.
"No past crimes, not even a traffic ticket," Iris said, changing the subject back to White Hot. Maybe she felt the temperature of the room change, or maybe it was the subconscious change in Cadence's face. One that was almost sinister, eyes starting to glow like coals from a fire burning deep within. "If there was anything she'd done it'd be covered somewhere—"
"—That's it!" Cadence interrupted. Her expression changed to excitement as she turned back to Iris. "I know the others, Leah and Lucas, they've done some things before. I don't know if their files would've been erased in some way from Breathtaker or not but—"
"—But if it's out there, I'll find it," Iris agreed. She took a step forward and placed a hand on Cadence's shoulder. "Whatever is going on, we'll figure it out. Breathtaker's not going to get away with this, the way he's hurting you."
"The only thing that's hurting me is how long this has been going on," Cadence said honestly. "Trust me, they can't actually hurt me anymore. But I have lots of plans to hurt them." She quickly thanked Iris for the information and the two left to go to the Cortex. Her mind swirled. She knew Iris tried her hardest to figure things out about White Hot but still…there had to be a reason she was so familiar.
It hit her like a ton of bricks, causing Cadence to stop short. Iris, who was walking along with her, stopped and turned to her in concern. "What?" She asked.
"White Hot," she said. "The reason we can't find her here…she's not from this Earth. She's from Earth-2." Of course, that was it. She remembered Burnout mentioning something about her when she, Killer Frost, and Deathstorm had cornered her in Jitterbugs on Earth-2. And when she'd done her mind-meld with Burnout, she was stuck there. "Maybe she's not after me, but after Burnout."
Iris's eyes widened in excitement. "So, if you mind-melded with Burnout, she'd know who White Hot is, and maybe we can find her doppelganger here!" She lifted her palm and the two girls slapped a high-five. "C'mon, let's tell the others." She and Cadence hurried into the cortex, bursting to tell the others about their news, only stopping when they saw Barry standing on the floor of the Cortex, looking confused, worried. "What's going on, Barry?" She asked.
"Where's Caitlin?" He asked in response.
Cisco paused and looked around the Cortex before saying, "I hadn't even realized she was gone. She probably has some things to do," Cisco said, looking up from his computer screen where it was illuminated in a glow of whatever program he was running. "I mean, after seeing her mom…well, if you knew her you'd know why she needed some time off. Cade says her mom is terrible—"
"—I didn't say she's terrible," Cadence quickly defended herself. "I said she's crazy. Which she is." Iris started to say something about what they found out, but Cadence held out a hand, cutting her off. The Assassination Bureau could wait, Alchemy and Savitar were the more important things at the moment. "I understand Cait needs some time to figure out what's going on, but we really need to figure out this Killer Frost stuff. Of what to do with her."
Cisco gave her a critical look as he turned his gaze to her. "What do you mean?" He asked. "She's Caitlin, not Killer Frost. We'll find something to cure her, to help her. I know we will." He lowered his head again, once more, focusing on his computer screen. Cadence had a feeling he was doing just that, looking up something, anything, that'd help Caitlin. "We just need time."
"And what are we going to do until then?" Cadence pressed. "We can't have her turn like that all the time, especially if she can't control it." She looked to Barry and Iris. "She's not just a danger to herself, but a danger to us, too."
"Caitlin's not dangerous," Cisco said firmly.
"That's not what she's saying," Barry said quickly.
"She just said it."
"I'm saying we have to be careful," Cadence said.
"What do you want to do? Stick her in the pipeline?'
"No," Cadence said flatly. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone." She saw Cisco grimace, showing a tiny bit of shame for when he and the rest of Team Flash had immediately put her into the pipeline upon meeting…not knowing she suffered from claustrophobia. Of course it wasn't a worry of thiers at the time, they didn't know her and couldn't trust her. All with good reason. But it was still something she wouldn't readily suggest to someone, not even for any of the evil metas they came across. "But…maybe we should really think of a way to take away her powers. If it's going to keep doing that."
Barry opened his mouth to speak once more, but found himself cut off by Cisco. He and Iris exchanged worried glances, feeling the tension that was slowly starting to come between Cisco and Cadence.
"For real?" Cisco demanded.
"She may have a point," Barry finally managed to say. "If Caitlin doesn't want her powers and she does that—"
"Of course you'd agree with her," Cisco said sarcastically. "You always agree with her." He ran a hand through his hair and growled in frustration. "This is Caitlin we're talking about! Caitlin. Caitlin Snow. The one who's been part of Team Flash from the very beginning when it was just the three of us."
"Cisco," Iris said in warning.
But Cisco didn't listen to her. Instead, he motioned towards Cadence, while speaking to Barry. "We didn't even want to make her a suit, remember? Dr. Wells talked us into it, and then she tried to kill you."
Now Cadence winced. How many times was she going to hear the truth about what she did without it making her feel an insurmountable amount of guilt? Shame? Fear that things would end up happening all over again? As it was, she couldn't look Barry in the eye.
"And we were able to see that it wasn't something she was willingly doing and helped her," Barry shot back then added passionately, "Just like we're going to help Caitlin."
"Whatever." Cisco pushed himself away from the computer and fixed his friends with a hard stare that bordered on a glare until he shifted his gaze to look directly at Barry. That's when his expression became hostile. "You're the Flash, so I guess you call the shots, right?" With that, he turned on his heel and stormed from the cortex.
"I'll go talk to him," Iris said, heels clacking along the ground in her haste to catch up to Cisco.
Defeated, Barry ran his hands through his hair before turning around to face Cadence, who turned hre gaze from the floor to him. "You know he didn't mean that," Barry said to her.
"Yes, he did," Cadence said calmly. She reached up to scratch the side of her neck. "You know, I always thought that it was going to be hard to be part of Team Flash. And I always had the slight feeling that I didn't belong. And now knowing you didn't even originally want me there and that you didn't want to make a suit for me…" she looked him in the eye. "It hurts worse knowing that one of my best friends feels the same way."
Barry shook his head but found himself unable to comfort her, to prove her wrong. Because it was the truth. At the very beginning, they were hesitant to have her be part of the team. She'd started a fire to get his attention, a grand gesture if there ever was one. And now, everything with Team Flash was starting to fall apart when they needed each other the most. That was the last thing he needed. Barry dropped down in a nearby chair and hung his head. He thought of what his mother and father would do or say in that moment. What they'd do. What they'd do to help him. But came up with nothing.
That was the scariest part.
Suddenly, his phone rang, and Barry hurried to answer it. "Yeah, what's going on?"
"It's Julian," Joe said as soon as he answered the phone. Cadence glanced around, sure Joe had just been with Barry in the medical room. He must've just left and gotten the information himself. "Caitlin's attacked him. She's holding him hostage." Barry lowered his phone and in a flash, without warning, raced Cadence to their suits. "It's Caitlin," he explained when they jerked to a hard stop. "We have to go."
Cadence merely nodded. She didn't need any more information than that. If Caitlin was in trouble, it was important to find her and find her fast. No matter what they'd do when they were all back together. The two changed into their suits and raced out of STAR Labs while Cisco ran into the Cortex to look through their mapping system. "Start looking for Caitlin," Barry called as they raced along. "We need to find her before the CCPD does."
"Detective Patterson is already leading the charge," Joe explained. Cisco must've tapped his phone into their communication link.
"Then we know he'll move fast," Barry said. Cadence shot him a confused glance, never having run into Detective Patterson before, but he shook his head in response. There wasn't enough time to explain, all she needed to know was that it wasn't good if he was part of the team going after Caitlin.
"What do you think she wants Julian for?" Cadence asked instead.
"I'm not sure," Barry replied honestly.
"Is there anything we can do to help?" Jesse's voice then came onto the comm-link, trying in vain to hide her eagerness to help. "Do we need to come up with a plan. Or maybe meet you there."
"No," Barry said firmly. "It's too dangerous. You guys stay there, and Cade and I will handle this. We don't know the extent of Caitlin's powers yet and you and Brady are still the not experienced enough to handle her powers."
"Okay, so about this Savitar," HR's voice broke in.
Barry rolled his eyes. "Let's find Caitlin first, then we can deal with Savitar."
"Yeah, I agree with Barry, let's find Caitlin."
"Then what?" Brady asked.
Barry and Cadence exchanged another worried glance. That was the only part they weren't quite sure of. For anything. Now what? What could they do now that they knew there was a Savitar out there? What could they do with the very little information they had about Alchemy? What would they do with Caitlin once they got her back. If it was her they got back.
Cisco directed them to the frozen food warehouse and the two arrived in time to find Caitlin turning away from Julian, her eyes shifting from a silvery gray back to its original brown color. Then Caitlin saw Julian frantically typing something on a laptop beside him and she sent an icicle through the computer screen. Julian gasped in surprise and stumbled back, just in time to move his hand away from the path of another icicle that embedded itself into the wall behind him.
"What par of I'll freeze you to death do you not understand?" Caitlin demanded, her voice echoing in a very unsettling manner. She brought her hands back to send a wave of ice into him, but Barry and Cadence quickly moved in front of her.
"Stop," Barry breathed, holding up his hand. Caitlin paused. No, not Caitlin. The scowl on her face wasn't' Caitlin. The glare in her eyes weren't Caitlin. Her eyes weren't Caitlin's. No, this was a different entity.
"Get out of here," Caitlin pleaded, voice coming out in a whisper. For a moment, her sanity returned, they could see it.
Cadence swallowed hard as she took a step forward. Was this what she looked like when she was being controlled by the Assassination Bureau? "You know we can't do that," Cadence said quietly. She licked her lips, making them unstick from each other and added confidently, "We can't let you hurt him."
"What are you doing?" Julian demanded, steadying himself. He popped his head up behind Barry's shoulder and frantically gestured towards Caitlin. "Take her out. Take her out! She's willing to hurt someone. Knock her ou—" In a blurred motion, Barry lifted his hand and punched Julian directly across the face.
He couldn't help the smile that came to his lips when Julian's body arched away and slipped to the ground. Then he looked at Caitlin and said in a slow, comforting manner, "Caitlin—"
"Leave me alone," Caitlin interrupted. Her face twisted up, seconds away from breaking down into sobs. "Please, just leave me alone. I need…you can't be around me."
"Caitlin, what are you doing?" Cadence demanded. "Why'd you take Julian, why—"
"I have to find Alchemy!" Caitlin burst out, tears now falling down her cheeks. "I need him to help me. To get rid of my powers. He gave Edward Clariss his powers, he said that. He gave Clariss his powers with that stone he attacked you with. And you said Clariss was a speedster in Flashpoint, Barry." She was starting to ramble now, grasping desperately at straws. "I need him to get rid of my powers."
"I don't know if it works that way," Barry whispered.
"You don't know that it doesn't." Caitlin brought up a hand and smeared away her tears. "You don't understand. If I keep using my powers, then I won't be able to control it anymore. I won't be able to stop." She shook her head, eyes downcast, her hands still elevated. "I'm turning into Killer Frost and there's nothing I can do about it."
"You're not going to become her," Barry insisted. He looked to Cadence for help. "There's too much good in you to become her."
Cadence nodded and stepped towards Caitlin. She didn't move, just continued to whimper. Cadence took another step forward, then another until she placed her hands on Caitlin's shoulders. Caitlin slowly lifted her chin until she was looking Cadence in the eye. When their eyes locked, Cadence gave her a small, warm smile.
"Caity, listen to me," she said slowly, firmly. "The only reason you're turning into Killer Frost is because of your fear. The more you feed your idea of what Killer Frost is, the more real it'll became." She swallowed hard, licked her lips. "You just need to be brave and you can use your powers without being Killer Frost, and without Killer Frost ever showing up again."
"We love you, Cait, and we'll do everything we can to help you," Barry added, moving close to her as well. "We've been through too much to let you down right now. Please, let us help you."
Caitlin looked back and forth between the two with eyes filled with sadness. In a snap, Cadence felt Caitlin's muscles tense beneath her hands and looked into Caitlin's eyes once more, seeing the choclate brown turn back to icy gray. Caitlin's eyes snapped to Barry. She snarled. "Like you helped your mother? You keep messing with everyone's lives and messing things up, you keep breaking everything." Barry took a step back amongst the onslaught of words. "Wrecking it. And we have to pick up the pieces form your mistakes. Some things you break can't be put back together."
"I can fix this—"
Barry's plea was cut short. "Like you fixed Jesse, like you fixed Wally, like you fixed me, Francine, Cade, Brady? You've ruined everything over here for everyone. When you created Flashpoint, when you changed things you messed up everything." She looked at Cadence. "The Assassination Bureau…Barry is the reason all of us are like this."
Barry started to say something but stopped when he heard a familiar locking sound. Icy cold landed in his gut. He'd recognize that sound anywhere. He'd heard it enough, on almost a daily basis from numerous practices that he and the rest of those at the CCPD were to participate in, even if their positions didn't recognize it.
A gun about to fire.
The CCPD had to have been inching closer as they spoke, and having seen Julian knocked out, there was only one thing they could do. Open fire. Barry turned in superspeed, everything moving in slow motion. He watched as the CCPD drew their guns and started to fire towards them. At the same time, Cadence shot fire from her eyes to take on the guns, heating them up in their hands. The silver metal of their pistols slowly turned orange, spreading from the handle up to their palms and to their fingertips. Barry turned and grabbed onto Caitlin, racing her out of the line of fire.
"Gah!" The moment they stopped, crouching behind a pallet, Barry felt the most immense pain in his leg. Much stronger than what he felt after having been crushed by Savitar. It felt as if his entire leg had suddenly burst into flames. He turned around, struggling to put weight on his leg, to find Caitlin had stabbed an icicle through his skin.
She put her face close to his, an icy air wafting over him. "That punctured your tricep sera," she hissed. "Even with your healing abilities it'll take four hours for you to regenerate. Don't. Follow me." With that, she raced away, leaving Barry and Cadence behind.
"How much does it hurt?" Cadence asked, removing her hand from Barry's leg as the last of his open wound slid shut.
Pain was irrelevant to him now. How many times could he be hurt before the pain started to subside. And how painful was that pain compared to what he'd felt when his parents passed? When he had his mother and father alive once more and had them ripped from him with Eobard's cruel laughter ringing in his ears. He'd expunged all that pain from him when he cried to Joe, when he finally said everything that had been bothering him since he returned from Flashpoint.
"You're the Flash," Joe had said when he pulled back, drying Barry's tears from his face. "But you're my Barry Allen. And I know things are hard for you right now, but I need my Barry Allen to know that everything's going to be okay, but he truly does believe that. And the more he believes it, the more I believe it, too."
Barry had been grateful for those words of encouragement, for the reminder. Still, he couldn't push away what Caitlin had said. It was the truth. He'd ruined everything and if there was anything he could fix in that moment, it was going to be what's happening to her. It wouldn't happen until they knew how to find her. Once Caitlin had left the warehouse, and the police were too busy tending to the wounds on their hands from melted metal, Cadence ducked under Barry's arm and hauled him to his feet before teleporting them back to STAR Labs.
"As much as I deserve," Barry replied hoarsely. He continued to stretch his leg out in front of him, wincing if he moved too far, sending a fire of pain up to his thigh. "Ah. God, that's hurts." He let go of his leg and rested his arms on his thighs, waiting for the dull throbbing to subside.
He could heal faster than anything and yet he hadn't been able to remove the pain he'd been feeling. How ironic.
"You're going to have some scar tissue in there," Cadence apologized with a half smile. She brought up her hand and rubbed at her collarbone. "Unfortunately, that's the only thing I can't heal." She sighed and leaned back on her hands, resting them on the floor behind her. "You guys, what are we going to do about Caitlin?"
"We have to find her before we can do anything about her," Cisco reminded her, a dark edge to his voice.
"And ideas of where to start?" Barry asked. "It's not like I can run back and forth across the city until I can find her," he pointed out. Brady started to say something to prove him wrong, but one look form his mother immediately made him clam up. "And we can only follow her cold signatures when she's using them and if she's not using them—"
"You're starting to ramble, Tholly," Cadence stopped him.
"Well, the trick to finding her is simple; you just need to think like Caitlin," HR pointed out. He tapped his drumstick against his temple. "Get into her head, reach into the old noggin to figure out what it is that she'd be running off to. Everyone has a place they like the most and it's the first place they'd go." He tilted his head towards Jesse. "I'm sure hers is somewhere back on Earth-2."
Jesse sighed sadly, her arms folded across her chest. "If my dad were here he'd know what it is." She smiled sadly. "The cabin in the woods."
"That sounds like a horror movie waiting to happen," Brady remarked, wrinkling his nose.
"Spending that much time alone with Harry, I have to agree," Cisco added.
Jesse laughed quietly. "No, every summer, my dad and I would go to this cabin in the woods. Just off of Gotham city. We'd spend a week there, going hunting, fishing, hiking…" she thought for a moment. "I think it's the only time he give away his technology stuff."
"Yep, sounds like a nightmare," Cisco said. He shook his head and turned back to the conversation at hand. When he spoke, it was like he was trying to convince himself of something. "Caitlin's out there scared and alone and we need to find her." He looked straight ahead and snapped his fingers. After a few moments of typing, he turned the laptop around. "I hacked Julian's laptop and she had him search some addresses. I thought it was weird, but then it was like you said, she was trying to find Alchemy. Maybe these are people associated with him. A lead to help her find him."
"It'll take too long to search these addresses," Barry said, shaking his head. "We just need to find her. Use the same algorithm as before—"
"—It doesn't work if she's not using her powers—" Cisco shot back.
"-Then we have to think logically of where she'd go. Some place safe."
The room fell silent, but after a moment, Cadence's eyes widened and she gasped, "I have an idea."
And her idea proved to be right. Caitlin stood outside of her mother's house, staring up at the immaculate house. Her hands were splayed at her sides, fingertips twitching as if she were fighting a battle within herself. A soft rain fell around her, but she paid no attention to it. Caitlin tilted her head to the side as her eyes glanced over the glass in front of her, straining to see through the windows.
"You should've helped me when you had the chance," Caitlin murmured. She widened her stance and started to bring up her hands. "Let's see how you like it when everyone else is cold to you," She said. "Maybe they'll start using you for their little experiments!" She started to throw her hands forward.
"Caitlin!"
Caitlin slowly lowered her hands and turned towards the voice that called out to her. Her upper lip curled in disgust. The rain started to drop faster as Cisco stood across from Caitlin. "Get out of here," Caitlin drawled with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I don't need your help and I don't need you to stop me. Trust me, I'm doing you all a favor. The sooner my mom's gone, the better off we'll be."
"Caitlin, you need us to help you," Cisco called, taking a step forward. "You're our friend, we want to help you." He continued to take steps towards her. "You're not thinking clearly, you don't want to hurt your mom."
"Why not?" Caitlin shrugged. "I'm not Caitlin anymore, I don't think logically." She twirled her finger beside her head as if to make a point.
"You are Caitlin," Cisco insisted.
"I'm Killer Frost."
"You're Caitlin Snow."
Caitlin's lips pulled back into a sinister smile. Cisco took a step back, understanding the danger he was suddenly in. The temperature suddenly dropped dramatically as vapors swirled around Caitlin's hands. "Can Caitlin Snow do this?" With a grunt of effort, Caitlin shot icicles towards Cisco, who quickly dove out of the way, landing behind a tree. He rolled to his feet and peeked out from behind the trunk. Caitlin pouted, lowering her hands. "Almost gotcha."
"Caitlin please!" Cisco shouted. He ducked out of the way when Caitlin sent even more icicles his way, knocking piece of bark off the tree. He ducked out of the way, running towards another tree for safety. As he ran along, Cisco sent a vibrational blast back towards her just as she threw icicles at him.
The icicles vibrated so rapidly it cracked, shattering all over the street like glitter on New Year's Eve. This time, she rose her hands and sent ice into the trees, which froze the branches, causing them to shatter and fall to the ground towards Cisco. Cisco cried out as he threw his arms up to shield his head and face.
Caitlin rubbed her hands together, slowly walking towards Cisco. Her attention was diverted when there was a booming crack of thunder. As she turned her head, Cadence teleported in and grabbed onto Cisco, bringing him to safety while Barry raced up the residential street towards Caitlin. She lifted her hand and froze the ground right as he nearly reached her. Barry's feet slid out from beneath him and he rolled along the ground, collapsing in a heap in front of her.
Caitlin brought back her foot and kicked Barry in the ribs, making him cry out in pain. "Oops. Guess I don't know my own strength." She kicked him again and he curled himself up into a ball. "How's the leg?" She mocked him.
Barry pushed out a gasping breath and said, "Pretty good. How's yours?" With a burst of speed, he brought himself up to his hands and swung his feet around in a large arc, knocking Caitlin's legs out form beneath her. Caitlin collapsed to the ground next to him, eyes wide with surprise.
"I'm sorry, Caitlin," Barry apologized. "I don't want to hurt you."
Caitlin snorted then worked to catch her breath. Cisco continued to hover nearby, hovering his hands as he waited for an opening to attack. "That was cold, Flash," Caitlin growled, eyes flashing. "But this is colder." Swinging herself up, Caitlin straddled Barry waist before leaning down to kiss him. The moment her lips pressed against his, his body started to freeze, skin turning blue under his cowl.
Barry's eyes widened in surprise then fear as he felt his body slowly start to stiffen, the coldest cold seeping into his bones. He struggled to bring in a gasp but couldn't. Every time his chest expanded it was like tiny knives stabbing his skin repeatedly, tiny knives ripping his lungs apart.
Caitlin grinned when she pulled herself away from Barr, bringing up her fingers to touch her lips. "Hmm. I can understand why so many girls are after you now, Flash."
A stream of fire raced towards Caitlin. She immediately leapt out of the way of the incoming attack seconds before Cadence teleported behind her and punched her directly on the cheek. Caitlin rolled on the ground and came to a stop, blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. Lifting her fist, Caitlin wiped the blood away and rose her eyebrows.
"Now, Cadence, I didn't know you to be the jealous type," she taunted.
"I don't do jealousy," Cadence replied. "Unlike you, I trust people."
Caitlin laughed a loud, cruel laugh. "Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. You're probably the least to be trusted out of all of us. I mean…how long is it going to take before you decide to fulfill your mission and finally kill Barry?"
Cadence ignored the taunt and clenched her hands into fists. She lifted her hand as it started to become covered in flames. Around her, the air started to heat up, rain drops evaporating faster than it could come close to her. Caitlin pursed her lips, noticing what was happening. Around her, the rain froze before it hit the ground, little droplets pinging off the asphalt around her. They looked at each other for a long moment before starting to fight.
They moved at the same time.
Thwoom.
Their movements blurred together, fire vs. ice. Caitlin's head twisted to the side when Cadence punched her in the face. Then grabbed her by the front of her jacket and threw her hard across the street. Caitlin flew through the air and smacked into a tree, falling to a heap. Caitlin growled and got to her knees, punching her fists forward, sending snowballs to Cadence. Cadence lifted her hands and punched back. Instead of shooting fireballs back at her friend, she simply used the movements to melt the ones that were coming towards her. Her eyes stuck to Caitlin's face, watching to see where she'd move next.
So much so that when Caitlin's eyes lowered, ready to take down the fire metahuman with a slick sheen of ice over the ground, Cadence used her heat vision to melt it back to Caitlin's hands, who squealed in pain when the heat reached her fingertips. Then Cadence teleported forward and grabbed Caitlin by the neck, slamming her to the ground. Stunned, Caitlin could only grab onto Cadence's arm as the fire metahuman started to teleport back and forth across the street.
Much like Savitar had done to Barry, Cadence continued to throttle Caitlin, moving her back and forth across the street as she attacked until she felt Caitlin grow limp. The difference in power was obvious; while Caitlin shied away from practicing her skills, Cadence worked hard to control it.
Caitlin sucked in a sharp gasp when she felt Cadence's hands on her head and neck, able to twist her head to the side. One sharp twist and it was lights out for Caitlin. Cadence's eyes smoldered with unbridled hatred as she looked down at Caitlin.
"Do it," Caitlin taunted in a low whisper. "I dare you."
Cadence tightened her grasp around Caitlin's head, looking down into her face. No, into Killer Frost's face. She gritted her teeth, slowly allowing her strength to move into her hands. Killer Frost's face screwed up in pain as Cadence's super strength slowly started to set in.
Cisco raced to Barry's side, crouching over him, examining his friend. Barry shivered pitifully, struggling to move his hands to his shoulders. Desperately needing warmth. But he was still moving, that was moved to Barry's side. "start vibrating," he said. "It'll warm you up." Barry did as he was told and was soon back on his feet. Cisco grasped his hand and pulled him to his feet, looking over at Cadence and Caitlin.
Noticing their movement, Cadence lifted her head and looked at her friends. She locked eyed with Cisco then looked away, dropping her hands from Caitlin's head. She took a few steps back, allowing Caitlin space to flop over, coughing loudly. She placed her hands on the ground and started to get up, flipping her hair from her face. She started to move, as if she were about to start running, but Cisco walked forward, his hands up in front of him, Barry's eyes flickered with lightning, and Cadence's hands covered in flames.
She wasn't going to run.
She was trapped and knew it.
Caitlin smiled. "You're all smarter than I thought." She nodded towards Cisco, her voice taking on a tone of surprise. "You know, that was some blast there, Vibe. Kinda hurt."
"I don't want to hurt you," Cisco said, voice quivering.
"You're pathetic." Caitlin tilted her head towards Cadence. "You should be more like her, ready to kill when the time comes. It's the only thing that'll help me at this point. Other than finding Alchemy, getting rid of my mom…"
"Alchemy can't help you," Barry said. "We can. I promise." His voice cracked with emotion, desperation.
Caitlin's eyes flickered to him as she slowly stood up. Then she let out a sigh as if she were tired of having the conversation. "Like you promised Eddie, and Ronnie, and all those other people who've died?" She wiggled her index finger back and forth. "For a hero, Flash, you let a lot of people die."
Barry shook his head. "This isn't you, talking, it's your powers. You're sick."
"I'm broken, Barry." She lifted her hands and slapped them to her sides before motioning to the fire metahuman who watched the conversation closely. Her fingers twitched at her sides, ready to move if the time came to start another fight. "But what do you care? You've got Cadence. You got your happy ending. You're happy. So just let me go—"
"We're not abandoning you—"
"—YOU DID THIS TO ME!" Caitlin shouted so loudly her voice echoed through the otherwise quiet street. A cold wind blew through the clearing, but still, none of Team Flash moved. The threat of danger had passed, it was now them trying to save their friend who, in a way, was trying to save herself. After a few moments of silence Caitlin tilted her head to the side. "Isn't this the part where you talk some sense into me?"
"No, it's the part where I let you go," Barry said. He motioned to his friends and nodded. Cisco and Cadence nodded back and the three slowly started to take a few steps away from Caitlin, giving her a wide berth. If she wanted to attack, she could do that. If she wanted to run, she could do that, too. They weren't going to stop her.
Eyes narrowing in suspicion, Caitlin looked at her friends' faces before she settled on Barry once more. "For a smart guy, that was an awfully dumb move. So I'm free to go?" Barry nodded again but didn't respond. Still, Caitlin didn't trust it, her eyes narrowing. "What's the catch?"
"You have to kill me," Barry said. "I'm not going to fight you. But if you're going to leave us, this team, this family…then you'll have to kill me."
Caitlin started to stalk towards him. "Don't think I won't."
Barry held up his arms. "Then do it." The threat was evident, hanging in the air. He wasn't going to back down. If Caitlin wanted to get rid of her powers so badly, if she wanted to stop being part of a family, if she wanted to throw away everything that was given to her, that was fine. But he didn't want to be there to see it. She'd have to take him out. "Go ahead."
Caitlin created an icicle in her hand and held it above Barry's chest, right where his heart would be. She pressed it to his chest, the tip starting to rip its way into the suit. Caitlin kept an eye on Cisco as she did so. "I'm sorry, I know how much your suits mean to you," she said. "I'll make it quick."
"Not as much as you mean to me, Caitlin," Cisco murmured in response. "My suits will never compare to how much you mean to me."
"That's sweet, I'll keep that in mind for when I get lonely." Caitlin turned back to Barry and started to push the icicle in further then stopped.
Barry tilted his head as he looked down at her, waiting for her to continue. "What are you waiting for? What's the big deal. Live up to your name, Killer Frost. That's what you want, isn't it?" Reaching up, Barry ripped off his cowl and looked at Caitlin as Barry. Not as The Flash. As Barry Allen. His voice dripped with disgust as he said, "Villains kill their friends, it's what they do because they don't care anymore, right? Right?!" He grabbed her wrist and moved the icicle closer to his heart, wincing as he felt the pinprick in his skin. "Come on. Kill me, Caitlin."
Caitlin glared back at him, affronted, then looked down at her hand. Almost as if it were betraying her. She grunted quietly, her hand starting to shake with effort. Barry shook his head. "You can't do it. You can't, because underneath all that cold, you're still you. You're still Caitlin Snow."
The seconds passed and as they passed, the wind slowly subsided until the air was still. The only sound that shattered the silence was Caitlin's icicle shattering to the ground. She'd dropped it. Opening her hand, Caitlin looked at her palm, her fingertips, eyes widening with sheer horror. A tear slid down her cheek and she moved a hand up to her mouth, then she lifted her gaze and gasped in fear.
"Barry," she whimpered before breaking down into tears. Caitlin threw her arms around Barry's neck and shoulders as she started to sob. Cisco and Cadence moved to flank Caitlin's other sides and wrapped her arms around their friend as she continued to cry. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize, Cait," Barry replied. "You never have to apologize." He looked at Cisco, who nodded and mouthed the words 'thank you' and Barry nodded back.
The four continued to stand in a group hug, holding onto each other. Finally, when Caitlin's crying started to subside, she started to speak again. "It's not fair," She murmured. "All I want to do is help people and my powers won't let me…" she closed her eyes, a few more tears escaping down her cheeks, chin trembling. She lifted her head to address Caitlin.
"You have to…" Caitlin swallowed hard. "If I become her again, you have to kill me. Please. You have to kill me."
Cadence didn't respond, she merely kissed her friend on the temple and hugged her tighter. She knew she had to do it, had to kill her when Killer Frost came back and that would hurt her more than anything in life.
Right now, they had their friend back and that was all that mattered.
Barry leaned back against the wall of Caitlin's apartment, head tilted to look out the window. Hearing a soft sigh, he turned back to the couch to watch Cisco roll onto his side, dragging a blanket with him. Said blanket being pulled off Caitlin's sleeping form. Rather than shiver and reach to grab the blankets back from him, as most would do, Caitlin simply curled herself further into a ball.
A sleepover. It had been an odd suggestion. Not really a suggestion at all. Caitlin had mentioned after going back to STAR Labs and being looked over that she was going home and Cisco said firmly that she wasn't going alone. And that was that. They all went to her apartment for dinner and drinks, being sure not to speak about anything metahuman related, Cadence made sure to bring up that point as to how she and Barry were able to get through dates—when they had the time to go on them, and it was a rule for that night.
Once the initial awkwardness got out of the way, they were soon talking and laughing without a care in the world. And after a brief argument of whether or not to watch Star Wars for the movie night—of which Cadence lost 3-1—they all started to drift off to sleep before the movie even made it halfway. Cadence was the first to nod off, even prefacing the night by saying, "I've never made it through a Star Wars movie." Caitlin was next, curled up into the corner of the couch with a pillow tucked under her head, looking much more innocent than she had been before. Cisco was after her, draping a blanket over her—of which he'd now stolen—before falling asleep right after the credits ended.
Barry, however, was the last one awake. He couldn't sleep. Not yet. Not when his mind wouldn't stop replaying the night. Not when there was so much that could've gone wrong that thankfully hadn't. But life didn't always work that way. It wasn't fair. Many people don't deserve what they've got and others don't get what they deserve. But they had to keep living.
Barry wasn't like most people. He had the ability to change things when he saw fit. But they didn't end up working out the way he'd hoped. What was the point of having that ability? Why was it bestowed upon him when he couldn't do anything when the time came. What if he'd gone back and changed things so that Caitlin's powers didn't take her over? Was that possible?
A sigh escaped Barry's nose. He didn't dare breathe louder than that, not wanting to wake up his friends when they were finally feeling so at peace.
"You're not a God, Barry," Cadence's voice said quietly from behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw her shuffling over, a blanket pulled tightly around her. He smiled. She was the first one to complain about the temperature of Caitlin's apartment, sneakily turning it up when Caitlin's back was turned, who then turned it back down later.
Barry found himself unsurprised to know she knew exactly what he was thinking. He'd found himself able to do the same of her lately. Cadence moved to Barry's side and threw the end of her blanket up to his shoulders.
"That's what Jay said," Barry replied, looping an arm around her shoulder to pull her closer to his side. The warmth under the blanket increased from her body heat. He felt himself slowly then all at once relax. Much like he was falling asleep, falling into comfort.
"Jay's a smart man," Cadence agreed. She tilted her head up to look at him, eyes boring into his. "But you have to stop playing the 'what if's' and the 'why me's'. Believe me, it gets boring fast. And I know this is hard for you, but you need to be the leader right now. Because, in the end, you always know what to do and we'll always follow you."
Barry smiled at her.
They'd always follow him.
They were a team.
That was all that mattered.
Barry reached out his hand and grabbed onto Cadence's. "Cay," he murmured. "I have something I need to ask you."
A/N: I originally intended this to be a very heartfelt chapter for all of those associated with Team Flash (Harrison and Tess, HR, Joe, Iris, Wally, Jesse, etc.) but then I felt it was even better to be used for Barry, Caitlin, Cisco, and Cadence and showing how far their friendship goes with each other. Especially with the micro-friendships within their group. That's not to say the others will be ignored, you will see it in the next chapter. I'm especially excited for you all to see how I bring Harrison and Tess in further with this story.
Please remember to review; any feedback helps me become a better writer and motivates me to write more. I respond to every review, even anonymous ones.
Cheers,
-Riley
Review Replies
Highlander348: I hope you at least enjoyed the emotions of what went on here. I said Cade was going to help and she is, but they needed to get through this first. It can't be easy to know that your best friend wants you to kill her if she turns into her evil side again.
Ethan: Conner and Samantha are being put into the witness protection program. With Oliver's being the mayor and the Green Arrow, it just means too many people can figure out who he is and his family and they'd all be in danger. Especially because Conner had already been kidnapped before, so his interactions with Brady would be very slow or completely non-existent.
DarkHelm145: I hope the fights with Caitlin/Killer frost were just as good.
Babyj: Thank you for your concern about Savitar, I do actually have things planned with him that are a little different, which is why Savitar's introduction was a little stunted. I agree, it could've been a bit better. Or at least shown a little bit more. The impact of it was seen here, he was in a coma for a day, but there's still more lasting effects.