24

Confrontations

Barry stretched his arms overhead, then ran his hands over his face as she stood outside CC Jitters. He didn't have to look at his reflection to know he had dark circles under his eyes. Bags. Lines, anything else that a night without any sleep could do. It was frustrating, really. There were some nights his mind moved too quickly for him to get a restful night.

Other times he could push it all away and sleep like a baby. Nights after a wedding were ones he should've known would be restless. Not just because of the excitement of the day, but because of how many people would come out of the woodwork to get some mischief in. He should've see it coming, honestly. A police officer's wedding. They were fools if they thought nothing was going to happen. At least it seemed no one wanted to intrude on Captain Singh's perfect day.

You could only ask for small favors.

Barry rubbed his eyes and shuffled into Jitters. He saw Cisco wave a hand overhead and headed towards the table. Their table. The specific table in the back corner of Jitters, strategically placed where they could see the front door and everyone coming in and going out. Strategically placed so that no one would overhear them as they talked about whatever meta related things came their way. Let alone any private conversations in general. It was the best place where they could race off to STAR Labs and their suits without a second thought.

Arriving at the table, Barry slid into the open seat next to Caitlin, taking the cup of coffee Cisco slid across the table to him. Barry glanced at the foam on top, smiling when he saw his own emblem atop. The Flash. Bias aside, he did like the coffee. It was a staple of Jitters—along with the additional shot of Flare, the Zoom, the Reverse-Flash and they sold very well. There were only so many ways the city could show how much they loved him—it was a bit embarrassing—and The Flash was always going to be his favorite of them.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it," Caitlin said with a wave of her hand. "It was my turn to buy. You get the next round."

Barry nodded back and took the coffee and tilted his head back to take a sip. His shoulders hunched, lips recoiling as the lukewarm liquid touched his tongue. He made a face, replacing the cup to the table. Started to get up to order another one, stopping only when Cadence reached out her hand, palm up. Less than a second later, steam arose from the spout of his cup. He smiled a smile of thanks and she smiled back, leaning back in her seat, cradling a mug of hot chocolate between her hands.

"You're la-ate," Cadence sing-songed.

Barry gave her a look. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Um." Cadence lifted her gaze in thought. "You may want a new toothbrush. I think I saw Brady cleaning his cleats with yours."

Barry chuckled. "So, what's going on?" He glanced at Cisco and Caitlin with a secretive smile. "I'm surprised you two are managing to stay upright long enough to get here."

Caitlin rolled her eyes while Cisco's eyelids lowered into a glare. He leaned forward, pointing his finger directly between Barry's eyes. "Hey, just because you can't get drunk doesn't mean you get to make fun of the rest of us who can."

"It doesn't?" Barry's grin widened while Caitlin shook her head. There were only so many times he could bring up their night of karaoke and drinking before he managed to take one step too far over the line. As it was, he made sure to lean away from Caitlin in case she decided to send an icicle into his thigh, let alone frozen fingernails. "Darn, there goes my fun."

"Considering our jobs, it's not like you're short of it," Cisco said. Then he grinned wildly and said, "But that reception was lit, yo!" He lifted his hand and slapped his palm against Cadence's as she laughed. "I've never seen an entire police department thrown down like that."

Barry laughed along with his friends. It was a great reception to an even better wedding.

The food was delicious; an assortment from some of the best restaurants in Central City as well as Captain Singh's and Rob's hometowns, more than enough dessert he'd ever seen in his entire life—of which Barry noticed that even Joe and Iris ended up getting a sugar high off the brownies and mint chocolate chip ice cream. (Of which couldn't rival Brady's or Alicia's). The music was fun and lively, the perfect mixture of a live band and a DJ—of which Barry had been around the CCPD enough to hear the harsh words between Singh and his then fiancé as they argued about the pros and cons of each. And everyone danced to some of the oldest hits anyone could remember—Barry could toot his own horn and say he even managed to get talked into doing a tap dancing routine when the correct song came on.

He hadn't seen any of his coworkers smile and laugh and relax so much in such a long time. He hadn't enjoyed himself like that in a long time, either. Of course it became tainted when he had to go out as The Flash and take down some bad guys. But the happiness still stuck in him if he didn't think too much about the other thing.

Cisco abruptly stopped his laughter and said, "Too bad we're all probably going to die before we can have some more fun," he added. A somber feeling spread over the table. Barry let out a low breath, shifting his gaze to the rapidly melting symbol in his coffee. He knew he had to tell the others what he saw and yet couldn't find the words to do it. It was the future and Jay had said it himself, you never knew what could happen in the future.

Too bad I already saw it, Barry thought. He ran his hands over each other and nodded to Caitlin's statement of, "You really know how to kill the mood sometimes, Cisco."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "But am I the only one who hasn't forgotten we all fought and lost against the very speedster we're trying to stop?" Cisco looked over each of his friends' faces. His eyes widened as the seconds passed. "Or about the creepily masked lackey he calls Alchemy? He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is still out there!"

"Oh." Cadence rested her chin in her hand, fluttering her eyelashes. "Do you mean, Avitar? Bavitar? Cavitar? Davitar? Stop me when I'm getting close." Cisco shot her a look and she smiled, crossing her legs at the knee, and placed her forgotten mug onto the table. "I don't think anyone's going to forget that, Cisco. Three speedsters, a fire meta, a ice meta, a phasing meta, a gravity meta, and a breacher couldn't take him down." She shrugged. "All that means is that we'll just have to hit him harder."

"If we even can," Caitlin murmured.

"What do you mean?" Barry asked. His voice was low, almost a croak, heavy with emotion. It was too hard to ignore. Caitlin sucked in a deep breath and looked at Barry from the corner of her eye, then ducked her head, chewing her lip. Barry recognized the movement immediately.

Caitlin continued chewing for a few moments then let out a sigh. She lifted her chin and started to explain, eyes not focusing on anything. Almost, Barry noticed, as if she were looking into the future. Her own future. Or maybe it's the past that constantly haunts her, Barry thought. "I didn't help out until the end," Caitlin said.

"Cait, you know we don't blame you for any of that," Cadence said, a warning tone coming to her voice. She reached out and took Caitlin's hand in hers, squeezing it firmly. "You haven't used your powers as much as the rest of us have. There was only so much you could do."

Barry looked at their hands. The same hands that managed to stab each other through the heart. He shook his head, taking a deep breath, working to focus on Cisco who said, "Yeah, but that freeze-boil thing you two did was awesome."

"Thanks." Cadence blew on her knuckles and wiped them across her chest. "It's a gift. And lots of practice."

"What, you mean you two have been working on that little trick without telling me?"

"No, but I've been working with Caitlin on her elemental training."

"Ah."

"What were you saying, Caitlin?" Barry pressed, watching his friend closely. She rested her cheek in her upraised palm, now staring into her own coffee. "About Savitar. What were you saying about Savitar? How we couldn't beat him."

"It's not that I don't think we can't beat him," Caitlin said slowly. "It's that I don't think he'll let it be easy."

Now Cadence couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "What are your first clue? The fact that no one but Barry, Wally, and Jesse could see him?"

"No, that he knew everything we were going to do before we did it," Caitlin said. Silence stretched around her. "I watched…We watched your guys' movements the moment I got back to STAR Labs. We didn't know you were fighting Savitar, but we knew you were fighting something. Everything you guys did, everything that's ever worked before, every trick up your sleeves, Savitar was able to counter it. The only thing he didn't seem to expect was Brady and Leah being there as well."

Barry and Cisco slowly sat up, looking at each other. Cadence's eyes narrowed as she folded her head and tilted her head to the side. Was she right? Barry thought back to the fight against Savitar. He'd tried everything that'd ever worked against a meta before but had been beaten down each time. It wasn't so strange. Speedsters all shared the same skillset of their abilities, they could all do the same thing. Barry's suit wasn't made from metal, making it easier for Barry to turn Savitar into a magnet. Easier to have him incapacitated for the time being. Savitar hadn't seen that coming, but he'd seen Barry's other movements, his other tactics. Knew what he was going to do.

"How would he know?" Cadence asked.

"He's a speedster," Barry said. His jaw dropped with realization that suddenly knocked him over the head. How could he have been so stupid? "He's been alive for years. Even Jay knew of him on his Earth."

"That might not be the same Savitar," Cisco pointed out. "As far as we know, Savitar from Earth-2 is just a fancy cult leader." Caitlin and Cadence both gave him a look and he shrugged. "I'm just saying as far as we know, Alchemy is his gay lover. Why else would he be following him around so much?" Cadence gave him another look and he added, "I'm all in with the LGBT community, you know that. With multiple Earths there are—"

"—Multiple possibilities," Barry finished. "Multiple outcomes. In this case, Caitlin's right. I didn't think much of it at the time, but…everything I was going to do, Savitar would either do it first, or stop me. He's not just faster, he's smarter. Even with me and Cade working together he knew what we'd do before we could do it."

"so, he's been watching us for a while," Cadence said. "Maybe…" Her eyes twitched, narrowed into slits. "Maybe since Flashpoint."

"Or maybe because of Flashpoint," Barry said. His heart sank as the words registered with him. Of course. Everything led back to Flashpoint. Everything led back to him. Everything led back to being his fault. No matter what he tried to do to change it, he kept making everything worse.

Caitlin, Cadence, and Cisco all exchanged glances, all opened their mouths to say something, then stopped when the bell over Jitters' door rang. Instinctively, the four swiveled around to see who'd arrived, and all visibly relaxed when they saw Iris striding toward them. She had a folder tucked under her arm, hugging it close to her as she sidestepped those around her.

Iris's beautiful features twisted into an expression of confusion when she saw the four looking at her. "Okay, you guys have got to lay off on the caffeine," she said, stopping at the head of the table. "It's making you all so jumpy."

"We were just talking about the Big Bad Wolf," Cadence explained, motioning for Iris to take the last empty seat at the head of the table. Iris carefully sat down, moving the folder to the table, her hands pressed firmly atop it. Iris's eyes squinted, she tilted her head. "Savitar."

"Do you talk about anything else?"

"No," the four said in unison.

"What've you got?" Barry asked, nodding to the folder.

Iris looked both ways before lifting her chin. She brushed her hair behind her ears. "Oliver and Felicity finally got back to me with the information we needed," she explained. "They apologize for not coming to your housewarming party, by the way. Mayoral business and having to atone for something." Barry lifted his gaze and met Cadence's. They'd wondered why that invitation hadn't been responded to, chalking it up to something Arrow related had come up. "Anyway, I've got the goods."

Iris flipped open the folder and picked up two packets of paper, sliding them into the middle of the table. Simultaneously, the five leaned towards the papers. Barry glanced at the names on top Leah Wasserman and Lucas Tenson. He looked over at Cadence, who's expression of intense concentration didn't waver as she looked over the names herself.

"Does this seem right to you?" Iris asked, now watching Cadence herself.

Cadence nodded. "As far as I know." Her eyes continued to rove over the packets with as much intensity as looking over a makeup catalogue. "Names are right, pictures are right, last known address is right…" she flipped through the sheets of paper. "I'm not so sure of their crimes."

"What?" Cisco's face screwed up. "Don't you guys talk when you're not too busy…?" He made a gesture with his hands. "You know know…?"

"Baking cookies?" Iris guessed.

"Square dancing?" Cadence added.

"Sewing?" Caitlin said.

Barry slapped his hand onto the table top, making them all jump. "This isn't a joke!" he didn't need any powers to know everyone in the coffee shop was staring at him. To know all conversation had ceased and wanted to know what caused the outburst. He leaned forward, lowering his voice even further. "If it's not Savitar, it's the Assassination Bureau. If it's not the Assassination Bureau, it's Savitar. There are people out there trying to kill us,"—he motioned between himself and Cadence—"and we have nothing to go off of."

Iris reached across the table and squeezed Barry's hand. He resisted the urge to pull his hand away from hers, it may be the last time if the future were any indication. "That's where you're wrong, Barry. This is everything we need that we didn't have before."

"Their names and addresses?"

"Past criminal history," Iris pointed out. "This is stuff I couldn't even get from my dad's databases at the CCPD. And you want to know why?"

"Because the CCPD never had it on file," Caitlin realized, making Iris nod. She thought for a minute. "Just like at STAR Labs, the only thing we know is what they've wanted us to know. We know their identities and their powers, but nothing more than that."

"Exactly." Smugly, Iris folded her arms. It was obvious she knew her career would bring an advantage to Team Flash at some point. "Cade and I were talking about White Hot and why we couldn't figure out her identity. How Zoom had taken her over from Earth-2 and she's trying to kill Cade, because she can't kill Burnout."

"Because she's taking my place in Breathtaker's army," Cadence agreed. She started to drum her fingertips against the tabletop, her nails making clicking sounds as she did so. Her lower jaw shifted aside, partially in frustration, partly in thought. "Like the four horsemen of the Apocalypse."

Barry nodded. He'd remembered Cadence, Caitlin, and Iris explaining their findings to her after they'd had breakfast together that day. Hadn't put much thought to it considering everything with Savitar that had been going on. But now…It was starting to become more real, how dangerous things were getting. "So what do their criminal pasts have to do with anything?"

"Well, like I said, this information wasn't in the CCPD's database. Meaning, it was swiped clean at some point. I wouldn't know for sure if Breathtaker did it or who else, but it wasn't there. Felicity managed to get into the deep recesses of the internet and found out their crime sprees started around the same time." With a flourish, she whipped the packets of papers to the same page and tapped her finger against it. "They were recruited at the same time."

Cisco regarded Cadence with a lifted eyebrow. "Is there anything you want to tell us?" He asked. "About your villainous friends here?"

Cadence rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, we're besties. We're like this." She crossed her index and middle fingers, the lights hanging over their table bouncing off the rings that adorned her hand. "I never knew when they were recruited or how. Just how I was." Her eyes narrowed. "You didn't get anything on Incognito?"

Iris shook her head. "Not even Felicity could get information on him. No one knows his name, or what he really looks like."

"No one ever knew what he looks like," Cadence said. Her face puckered in displeasure, as if she'd sucked a lemon. "I've never seen his real face. I'm not even sure who the person I know Incognito to be is really him. Or whose identity he stole."

Barry sat up straight. His mind whirred with a million thoughts. He ripped the papers out of Cisco's hands, using his superspeed to read through them once, twice, three times, ignoring Cisco's squeals of pain from the paper cuts he received. Taking in the information over and over again.

"Barry, what's wrong?" Caitlin placed her hand on Barry's shoulder.

"These crimes, they started before the Particle Accelerator blew," Barry said. He slowly put the papers down and looked Cadence in the eye. She looked back at him. Barry leaned forward. When he spoke next, his words were slow, deliberate. "Were they here when it went off?"

She looked back at him. "Yes."

"Did they get their powers from the Particle Accelerator?"

"No."

That stumped him. What? That didn't make any sense. Even Caitlin did a double take towards her best friend. Barry stumbled over his words a few times before finally being able to get out his question. It was just too preposterous. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

Annoyed, Cadence couldn't help the sass that came to her voice. "I mean, 'no, they didn't get their powers from the Particle Accelerator.' They had their powers when I knew them." She pursed her lips. "Is that clearer?"

"How'd they get their powers?"

"From Breathtaker. I've explained this before."

As if sensing the mounting tension around them, Iris held up her hands. "Whoa. Okay." She pressed her hands to the table top. "As someone who was the last to join Team Flash, I need things explained to me a bit more. What do you mean Breathtaker gave them their powers?"

Cadence hesitated. She ran a hand through her hair, briefly closing her eyes. "When we were fighting the Dominators, Breathtaker got a hold of me." Cisco leaned forward, pressing his fingertips to his temples. He let out a long breath, closing his eyes tightly. "I don't know how he does it, but he's been doing it for a while. Getting into my head and making me see things. To prove he still has a hold over me."

Barry snapped his fingers. "Your nightmares," he pointed out.

Cadence nodded. "My nightmares," she agreed. "It's been going on for a little bit, since you came back from Flashpoint, actually. But things weren't that bad until the Dominators. I guess, having touched that tractor beam light gave Breathtaker the chance he needed to manifest in front of me." She briefly closed her eyes. "He told me what he wanted. He wants to take the world back, his world."

"Back to what?"

"Back to where metahumans rule. He's been a meta for a long time. Decades…centuries. He wants to turn that control back to the metahumans and make the humans suffer for what they've done to his world. He's had followers that've helped him over the years. When they die, he replaces them. That's what me and the others are, replacements for those that followed him. And he'll keep having replacements. Because he can give people powers."

"With the Philosopher's stone?" Caitlin breathed. Her fingers curled into her palms, cut little crescent moons into her palms. They healed over in seconds. A chill blew through the coffee shop, making Barry hunch towards the table and a nearby patron to ask for the heat to be turned up. Ashamed, Caitlin released her hands, immediately regulating the temperature once more.

"No," Cisco said. "He didn't need the Philosopher's Stone." All eyes then turned to him. He licked his lips. "I saw it all," he explained. "When I vibed her. When…when we saw she was getting beaten up. I saw Breathtaker. Everything Cade is saying is true. He wants to 'cleanse the Earth' of humans and those that have wronged him."

"What about the powers he gives others?" Iris asked.

Cadence thought for a moment, then shook her head. A defeated shake. "I don't know. He can…create matter. Can bend anything to his will. I see how it'd work with Mindboggler's powers. Stratos's, I'm not so sure. But, as far as I can tell, he can't create powers more than he can…enhance them. And he wants to enhance mine."

"Just like the Philosopher's Stone," Barry agreed. He brought a hand up, covered his mouth as he thought through all the information he was given. Some things he'd known before, others he was just learning. "Why didn't you tell us this before?" His eyes narrowed in desperation at Cadence. "When you were telling us how you got into the Assassination Bureau? Why didn't you tell us?"

Cadence started to respond, but Iris came to her defense. "There are a lot of things she's hesitant to talk about. I would be. If I was a part of something like that. But, she's saying it now and we've got this information and that's all that matters."

That wasn't true. What mattered was figuring out how Breathtaker and Savitar were connected. What they meant to each other and how they'd be stopped. There were too may similarities between them for things to be a coincidence. Barry knew it, deep down, something with the Philosopher's Stone had something to do with Breathtaker and Savitar. He just had to work harder to find it.

"You're right," Barry finally agreed. "All of this is really helpful. Thanks, Iris." Iris smiled and nodded. Silently said, of course. She'd do anything she could help them, using all her journalistic resource to do so. "I'll let Oliver know we got the information safe and sound, and that we don't mind he missed our party if things were that important." He pushed back his chair and stood up, tossing a tip onto the table. "I'll see you at work," he said to Cadence, who nodded back.

Barry left Jitters at a brisk walk. It wasn't the time for him to run. Not yet. He needed to think. So far, everything he'd done as The Flash had led up to something; his stopping the Reverse-Flash from destroying his life even further, Zoom from taking over other worlds, and now Savitar…? He didn't know. Just wanted him dead? Wanted to make as many metas as he could to do so? Then there was Breathtaker. He wants to take over the world, Barry thought as he went along. Wants to return the world back to the reign of metahumans. He's been alive for years, maybe as long as Savitar. A humorless chuckle escaped his lips. "Where's Eobard Thawne when you need him?"

A gust of wind announced Jay's presence at Barry's side. Barry tilted his head back, turned his gaze to the sky. Jay, on the other hand, shoved his hands into the pockets of the light windbreaker he wore over his civilian clothes. "I never thought I'd see Barry Allen wanting to see the Reverse-Flash."

Barry smirked. A lazy smirk that almost didn't make it fully. He was too tired to joke too much. Things weren't laughable. Not now. "You mean, you didn't see it in the future?"

"I wondered how long it would take for you to bring that up again," Jay remarked. He sucked in a deep breath, then made a face. "Sorry, I just never expected your Earth to have a distinct…smell."

"It's the constant construction," Barry explained. He gestured with his hand as they passed by a building with a sizeable hole, as if a thirty-foot monster had taken a huge bite from it. "They can only get so much done before the citywide curfew starts."

"I thought the Flash would've been aiding with the efforts."

"I've been a bit preoccupied, lately."

"With the future." It was a statement, not a question. Barry had no choice but to nod in response. All his thoughts of late were about the future. The distant future, the far off future? He wasn't quite sure anymore. That was the part that bothered him the most. That he didn't know when it was coming.

Barry gritted his teeth, did his best to keep the sudden influx of emotions that came at bay. He wasn't strong enough. As they stopped at a crosswalk, Barry's chest heaved. He hadn't run a marathon, hadn't raced all the way to China, hadn't done a few laps around North America, and yet he couldn't breathe. Not when he remembered so much of what was going to happen. What he couldn't stop.

"I've never run to the future," Barry gasped. He pulled hard at the collar of his shirt. Hoped it'd give him some sort of reprieve from the blinding, crushing pain. It continued to grow. Other citizens standing at the crosswalk started to look at him in concern.

Jay smiled and put his arm around Barry's shoulders, pulled him into his side. "Panic attack," Jay explained. "My nephew gets a little anxious sometimes." They nodded and took a step back from the two. Jay turned to Barry's ear, lowering his voice. "Everything's okay, Barry."

"No." Barry shook his head. It wasn't going to be okay. Not if he couldn't change things. Not if he couldn't find a way to get back there. "I've always traveled back to the past," he explained, slowly, very slowly regaining his breathing. "I…I saw myself. And Cade. And Caitlin. And Iris. And Savitar." He squeezed his eyes shut, the image of his friends' fallen bodies haunting him since that day. "Savitar killed Iris. Cait and Cade killed each other but…it was five months from now. In the future." He looked up at Jay as the light changed and they started across the street. "Is that actually going to happen?"

Jay pressed his lips together, forming a thin line. Barry looked at him for a moment then looked away. Couldn't handle it. It was the same expression his father would make when he was trying to figure out how to give bad news. As a surgeon, Henry had to give bad news from time to time. With Barry's simple and innocent questions of how work was, only to get the response, 'Difficult. I don't want to talk about it'. Meaning he'd lost too many patients.

Finally, Jay let out a deep breath, dropped his hand from around Barry's shoulders. "I don't know," he finally admitted.

"You don't…?" It wasn't the answer Barry wanted to hear. He wanted something, anything that would tell him things were oaky. That he saw the wrong thing. That he was done losing people he cared about the most. That his time as The Flash wasn't all for waste.

"You shouldn't have seen that," Jay said instead.

"This doesn't make sense." Barry shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around it again. Saw everything play out in front of him. Saw Savitar taunting Barry, saying he had to choose. Saw Iris saying not to save her. Saw Caitlin—Killer Frost—and Cadence end each other's lives as if it was nothing. "We…I…" He stopped abruptly, making the man following close behind him to curse and swerve around the young man, shaking his head and muttering something about 'millenials' as he went. Barry collapsed on a nearby bench, head hanging, face in his hands. "Oh my God…this is what the newspaper in the time vault changed. The byline…Iris didn't write that story eight years from now because…because she's dead. And Caitlin and…and Cadence." His heart hurt. "Oh my God. No…"

"Barry…"

He could feel Jay slowly sit beside him. Heard the cracking of his knees and the low groan that escaped his lips. Heard the heavy sound of Jay's breathing. Heard the relieved sigh that escaped his lips when he leaned back, resting his arm against the top of the bench.

"I just watched them die!" Barry continued. "I saw myself, I tried to move fast enough to save them, to save her but I couldn't." Barry spread his hands. His fingers shook rapidly. Not with his powers, but with grief, adrenaline. The unknown. He was tired of it all. Knowing the future and simultaneously not knowing. "Jay, tell me this isn't my destiny."

Jay licked his lips. Bobbed his head back and forth, spoke as if they were having a friendly chat rather. "You saw one possibility of the future of what may be, what may not."

"So I can stop this from happening?" Of course! That was it. He'd just have to get to a fast enough speed to run back to the future. Change things. Knock Savitar off course. "I can run back there—"

"You can't run back there!" Jay snapped. His sudden vehemence made Barry take pause, startled. Jay leaned forward, resting his arms on his thighs. "Not again, not ever. You can't go back there!"

"Then I'll figure out how it happened. How we wound up on that street. And I'll make sure we don't go there. If we don't go there—"

Jay's hand clamped down on Barry's shoulder in a grip so tight Barry felt his bones creak. He was sure if Jay just started to vibrate his hand, his bones would shatter in a second. Jay's eyes flashed with a fire as he looked Barry in the eye. "Barry, this is exactly why speedsters don't travel to the future. Nobody should know this much about it. Just as there are infinite earths, there are infinite possibilities to the future, always bending, always changing, the decision you make creates another alternative. Just like the past, if you try to fix it, it can't be put back together again."

"I won't let Cade die." He couldn't handle it. Not after what'd already happened between them. Not after the progress they'd been making. Not after… Barry licked his lips. "I won't let any of them die."

"The future isn't written yet and it might not even turn out to be what you saw. Why don't you focus on the here and now? You have to live your life, Barry. You know you do."

Barry clicked his tongue. He looked away, shaking his head. Ran a hand through his hair. How many times would he get that significant piece of advice before he listened to it? The last time you tried, Savitar made sure it didn't work out, he reminded himself. No matter how much time he gave to himself, to just be himself, everything with The Flash was going to take precedent.

"As a matter of fact, it sounds like something I should do myself," Jay continued, drawing Barry's confused gaze once more. "Something we should all do. I haven't seen my family, been around my family for more than a few hours in years now. Maybe it's time I give them more of my time."

"What do you mean?" Barry asked. "Are…are you retiring?"

"This isn't something you can quite retire from, but there are times where you have to put your priorities in order. And I plan to do that." He patted Barry on the shoulder once more. "And you should, too. You're going to be late for work."

Barry laughed. "What else is new?"

With that, Jay stood up and raced away. Barry got up as well, walking the rest of the way to work. He greeted the receptionist and signed in—a new procedure Chief Paulson put into place—and went up to his office. He hesitated, seeing Julian bowing over a microscope. He didn't know what to say; whether to greet him or not. Julian knew Caitlin's secret. Caitlin willingly told him about her powers, in a bid for him to help her. He was the Metahuman CSI Expert, right?

He'd reacted so negatively that Barry was only waiting for it to come back to bite him. And waited. Even as the wedding reception Julian had been kind and cordial to Barry. Enough so that Barry kept an eye on him throughout the party, watching and waiting for him to come up and declare war on him. Nothing.

"Are you just going to stand there admiring my good looks or are you going to get to work?" Julian asked without turning around. Barry's mouth flapped open and closed. Julian took the precedent and pushed himself back so that he was the one to face Barry first. The smile on his face made Barry eye him suspiciously. "You know, I never got the chance to say congratulations," he continued. Standing up, Julian approached Barry with an outstretched hand. "I bet you're excited. I just hope I make it onto the guest li-"

Barry swiftly cut Julian off with a hard stare. One of the harshest he could muster. He was tired of this. Tired of everything that had to do with Julian, his personal life, his friends, his family. He desperately wanted it all to be kept separate. "What do you want, Julian?"

Julian stopped mid-stride, lowering his hand back to his side. He smirked, chuckled, and folded his arms. "Now, Allen, is that the way you treat everyone who tries to bring some friendliness between co-workers?" Barry mimicked Julian's stance, folding his arms. The two stared at each other. Julian was the first one to break it. "Well, I guess that's something we won't be getting anytime soon." He turned back to his desk.

Barry eyed him. He wasn't in the mood for joked or cryptic messages. He was tired of not having the straight up truth. "What do you want, Julian?" He repeated. "We haven't been able to have a simple conversation with each other without it being obvious how much you hate me."

"That's true," Julian agreed. He pulled at the legs of his slack as he sat down. Pulled up a pocket watch dangling by a chain by his hip and looked at the time. Barry continued to watch him. "Even on Captain Singh's day it was difficult for me to keep my detestation of you to a minimum."

"So what's got you so excited now?" Barry asked. "So friendly?"

"Nothing more than I think it's time we saw eye to eye." Julian picked an imaginary piece of lint from his sleeve. "Had a conversation about what we can do to make things less hostile around here." Barry's eyes narrowed, making Julian roll his eyes. "It appears I have to be more forthcoming with my thoughts. You know, for someone so smart, Allen, you can be abysmally slow sometimes." He sucked in a deep breath, eyes shining with mirth. Clearly, he was enjoying this. "You know how I've been saying I can't trust you?" Julian asked.

Barry rolled his eyes once more. He lifted his arms and slapped them to his sides in defeat. "Okay, Julian, I get it." He walked closer to his co-worker—his boss. "There are things we need to work you. You don't trust me."

"I especially don't now that I know your friend's little secret…" Julian's smile melted into an expression of fury. "Your secret—"

"—What secret?" Barry had no idea what Julian was talking about. There was no way Julian could connect him to being the Flash, and even if he could, he wasn't so naive to think it was best to come right out and say it.

"—I've found that no one in this building can trust you," Julian continued. He ignored Barry's question and continued speaking. Obviously enjoying what he was ramping up to. "Now, the thing is, Allen, I'm an easygoing guy." Barry snored. Julian continued to ignore him. "But I'm sure others would understand my aversion to work with someone who is continuing to stand in the middle of an open case, keeping me from seeing justice. Just because of your personal feelings."

Barry's hands squeezed into fists.

"If she'd killed an innocent person, would you do the same?" Julian finally fell silent, allowing Barry to speak.

"Look, Julian, I know you think that getting powers is this binary game that you're either good for evil," Barry said slowly. "But life isn't like that. Even for metas." There was a part of him that was sure even Eobard Thawne had some redeeming qualities within him. Something Barry'd done in the future had caused Eobard to hate him, before that, he'd been a fan. The fan had to still be in there somewhere. Just like there was good in everyone. "Caitlin is a good person."

Julian perked an eyebrow. "So you do know her name."

Now Barry ignored Julian's interception. "And she wants your help." Barry pressed his palms together, stepped towards Julian. He swallowed hard, hating the tone, the emotion in his voice as he said, "I'm begging you not to turn her in. Begging." He took a step towards Julian. "I'll do anything you want. Just please don't do this to her. Don't ruin her life."

This time, Julian's face bloomed into such a bright smile. So bright it unnerved Barry. It was so real. A comparable difference than the scowl Julian almost always held. He finally recognized the feeling he got when he entered the lab. Danger.

"You seemed to have found the magic words there, Allen," Julian drawled. He reached out his hands, placed them on Barry's shoulders. "That's why it actually pains me to say this. The one thing you can do for me." He sucked in a deep breath and said one single word. "Quit."

"What?" Barry blinked. He couldn't have heard him clearly. Julian hated him. That was nothing short of clear now. They'd never gotten along. But to go so far to blackmail him into quitting? That was eviler than anything the Reverse-Flash or Zoom could've done to him. Julian Albert was pure evil.

"Tender your resignation from the Central City Police Department. Effective immediately." Dropping his hands from Barry's shoulders, Julian tilted his head, tapped his fingertips against his chin. "Is that clearer?" Barry's jaw dropped. He sucked in a deep breath. Found himself unable to find the right words to defend himself. If he could even be offended. Julian didn't give him the chance. "I can overlook the unexplained absences, the constant disregard for the rules and regulations." He stood up and walked so close to Barry the tips of their noses touched. Julian's hard, coffee-flavored breath wafted over Barry's face.

Nevertheless, Barry didn't waver, simply returning Julian's glare. "You can't do this," Barry said.

Julian thought for a moment. "I can and I will."

"I'll appeal."

"And say what?" Julian asked. "Say you're trying to keep your meta friend safe? Say you wanted me to be beaten up? Say how you've begged me not to say anything? She assaulted me."

"She's sick!" Barry spat.

"You're sick!" Julian spat back. He rounded on Barry, eyes flashing. Face twisted into an ugly snarl of anger. "You're willing to let someone downright dangerous leave. I'm giving you the chance to save your friend, to continue walking free, and you're trying to set the rules? Your moral compass is broken, my friend. I point blank refuse to work with someone whose sense of right or wrong is as flippant as the weather. Someone who thinks friendship is more important than justice."

"She's not just my friend," Barry protested. His voice was as low, harsh as Julian's. Escaping his lips rapidly. With vehemence. He sounded like Oliver. "She's my family—"

"—Well, that's a hard lesson for you to learn, Allen. Your family can be ripped away from you no matter how much good you do." Julian blinked rapidly, lifting a hand to wipe at his eyes, his eyebrows. When he spoke again, his words were filled with fervor. He jabbed Barry in the chest with his fingertip. Making Barry take a step back with each step. "I'm sure you would've gotten a good dose of that lesson by now. You're not fit to be a CSI. Barry Allen has no place in law enforcement!" That time, he shoved Barry hard in the chest.

Barry stumbled back a few steps. He glanced over his shoulder, glanced back at Julian, mentally calculated everything he could do and how likely he was to get away with it. Zero to none. Julian seemed to agree. He fixed his hair, fixed his tie, regained his composure. "Do we have an agreement?" Julian pulled his other hand from the pocket of his slacks to show his cell phone with Chief Paulson's number at the top. His thumb hovered over the 'Call' button. "Or would you live the SWAT Team to meet their girl?"

Trapped.

He was trapped.

Barry knew it in the pit of his stomach. If he said 'no' to quitting Caitlin's life ruined, let alone the rest of Team Flash's. STAR Labs would be invaded, everyone would be investigated, Caitlin would be arrested and charged, thrown into Iron Heights, all their identities would be found out, and…and worse. There was so much worse.

If he said 'yes' to quitting, his entire life was ruined. People would ask questions. His dismissal would be looked into. Caitlin would feel that she was the one who made Barry quit. She'd do something selfless to help him, which would, in turn, make everything he was trying to avoid happen anyway. And Julian would still know the truth.

He had no choice.

"Fine," Barry whispered.

It was the hardest sentence he'd ever had to utter. In the moment it took for the word to register on Julian's face—the smarmy smile Barry wanted to punch, Barry felt numb. Eobard said he'd take everything away from Barry, and his words turned out to be true. His parents were gone, his work was gone, his freedom as the Flash was gone. Nd it all started with Eobard getting the ball rolling. The ball that continuously barreled down on Barry that he couldn't get away from, no matter how fast he ran.

Barry wasn't sure how long it took for word to spread through the CCPD. He barely remembered going into Chief Paulson's office to put in his resignation—wishing it was Captain Singh he was speaking too—but the next moment, he packed all his personal items into a box from the office. Julian at least had the decency to give him privacy as he did so. Next thing he knew, Iris and Joe were standing in front of him, staring in disbelief at the news.

Opting not to use his speed, Barry had only gone through his desk drawers when they strode through the doorway to his office. Former office. "Hey," Iris said. Her voice was low, he could hear the intense sadness in it. "We just heard. You quit your job?"

Barry lifted his gaze to her. Then immediately dropped it. He couldn't look her in the eye. "I didn't have a choice."

"What do you mean you didn't have a choice?" She demanded.

Barry shrugged and didn't respond. He couldn't. It was too hard to think about, let alone talk about. Live through. Joe, on the other hand, knew his son adoptive son better than he knew himself. Knew Barry's tactics to avoid conversation and confrontation.

"Julian," Joe surmised. He looked over his shoulder, as if mentioning the name of Barry's former co-worker would bring his presence. "You quit. He keeps his mouth shut about Caitlin."

Barry nodded then smiled at Iris's enraged, "That son of a bitch." Lifting his chin, but keeping his gaze down, Barry explained. "He said I couldn't protect Caitlin and be a good CSI." He shrugged. "Maybe he's right."

Iris grasped Barry's arm. "No, he's not! Barry, you're an incredible CSI and no one in this building cares about people finding justice more than you." She forced her best friend to look her in the eye. "And that was before you were the Flash. This lab is your life."

"You guys are my life," Barry said readily, honestly. "You guys and Wally And Caitlin and Cisco and Brady and Jesse and…" He took a deep, painful breath. "And Cade." Joe and Iris exchanged a glance. "These past few months have shown me that I will give up everything I have to keep you guys safe and I will. No regrets."

Joe sighed. There was no changing Barry's mind. That much was obvious. It didn't matter what fatherly advice he gave. Barry made up his mind and that was that. It was a heroic sacrifice. "Every time I think you've run out of ways to be a hero, you show me another one," Joe said. He stepped forward and gave Barry a hug before leaning back, framing his son's hands in his face. "Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure, Joe," Barry croaked.

Iris moved her father out of the way and hugged Barry as well. She looked into her friend's face. Gave a warm, comforting smile that made Barry smile back. "You hungry?"

"Do you know who you're talking to?" Joe teased.

Barry laughed. At least that was still intact. His powers. His life as The Flash. "I'm starving," Barry agreed.

He stepped from behind his desk, holding onto the box filled with his possessions. He took one last look around his office, the office where everything for him began, and left with his head hanging low.

A/N: Okay, you guys. I had to split this chapter into two parts. 1) Because it started to become too long. 2) Because the second part of the chapter didn't really line up with the first. So that being said, you've got this chapter with Barry and the next chapter with Cadence. This chapter has a big reveal (and some smaller hints to ones that I hope you all catch) and the second one has a big fight. I hope you all enjoy it.

Please remember to review; any feedback helps me become a better writer and motivates me to write more. I respond to every review, even anonymous ones. I update my story every Wednesday, if there's a time that I won't it will be posted on our twitter: DarkElements10.

Cheers,

-Riley

Review Replies

This one is for everyone: I'm so glad that you guys enjoyed the last chapter so much. I know Barry's proposing to Cade has been something a lot of people have been waiting for and trust me, I've been waiting for it as well. I have so many fun and lighthearted plot points with that coming soon. But, of course, you can't have The Flash have some good moments without some bad ones coming as well.

I'll go back to responding to individual reviews with the next chapter. Thanks again!

Cheers,

Riles