47

Into the Speed Force

Why wasn't he fast enough?

Why didn't he stop him?

Why did he just stand there?

Everywhere Barry looked, the questions came to mind. When he was at work, staring into space, he could only think of Wally being sucked into the speed force. Could only think of Savitar's roar of laughter as Barry stared in wide-eyed horror at the space that'd just held Wally's form. Could only think of the way the only remaining piece of his suit, the lightning bolt emblem, felt in his hands as he picked it up from the ground.

Could still feel the crushing blows of Savitar's fists against his body when Barry let out a scream of rage and threw himself at the speedster. The speed God. Savitar wasn't a God, Barry would never determine him to be one, but he was fast. And as quickly as Savitar whipped around and grabbed him around the neck, was enough for Barry to realize how deeply he hated Savitar. How much he wanted him dead.

And yet, Savitar continued to throw him around. At top speed, to the rest of Team Flash, it simply looked like Barry had taken a step forward and was on the ground seconds later. In his point of view, he and Savitar duked it out over what felt like ten minutes. Punch after punch, throw after throw until Savitar slammed his fist into Barry's face so hard he heard his nose breaking, the bones crunching beneath Savitar's suit.

"Flash!" He heard Cisco and Leah cry from where he lay on the ground. Barry looked over to Cisco standing in front of Leah and Brady, who'd arrived on scene during the fight, holding his arms in front of them lest they did something stupid. Like try to fight Savitar.

Barry held up his hand. Shook his head when he saw Brady moving closer. Don't, he silently pleaded. Don't move. He'll kill you. Brady nodded, swallowing hard. Barry saw Cisco turn his hands backwards, so that he was touching each kid. So they didn't move from his grasp. He was their last line of defense, wouldn't let them get any closer.

Sucking in a shallow breath, Barry lifted his gaze to Savitar, who merely stared at him, chest plate of his suit slowly moving up and down. Barry licked his lips, wincing when he tasted the blood that ran from his nose. It was already healing, he could feel his nose shifting on his face. His power was slowly returning. He just needed to wait a little bit longer.

"What did you do with Wally?" Barry asked. "Where is he?"

Savitar lifted a finger and wiggled it back and forth. Ah. Ah. Ah. "Now, Barry, I thought you were smarter than that. Can't you figure out what's happened all on your own? And you call yourself a CSI."

"Where is he?" Barry demanded. His voice grew hoarse with the effort of his growl. Throat burned. He was tired of Savitar's taunting. Tired of him always being one step ahead of him. If he had to kill him right then and there, he'd do it. Just to get the air of arrogance away from the self-proclaimed speed God.

Savitar lowered his hand. He paced in a wide circle around Barry, each of his footsteps making mechanical clumps as they connected with the ground. His suit sounding like grinding gears when his elbows and knees bent. "When you created Flashpoint, you unwittingly gave me the means for this very moment to happen. You gave me the idea to make Wally into Kid Flash, to make him fast enough to stabilize the collapsing Speed Force."

The news hit him like a ton of bricks. His reaction so visceral he was sure Savitar had raced toward him and smacked him in the face all before Barry could blink. His voice was small when he asked, "The Speed Force is collapsing?"

How had he not known? How had he continued to use it without noticing anything different when he used his powers. Is that why Savitar threw Wally into the Speed Force? To siphon their powers and keep himself going?

Savitar continued to ignore him. "With his ego and arrogance, it was easy to get him where I needed him to be. He liked his fame and speed so much he never saw he was running right into my trap!" Savitar shook his head, a single flick as if he were moving his hair from his face. "And he can't even phase."

"How do I get him out?" Barry slowly moved himself to his knees. His body screamed with pain, his back more so. He'd probably bruised some ribs if not broke them. Savitar had gotten stronger since the last time they'd fought. Even s they moved at the same speed, he couldn't see Savitar's attack coming; he'd hit the ground much harder and faster than he'd anticipated.

"Wally's gone—" Savitar taunted.

"—HOW DO I GET HIM OUT?!" Barry roared, getting back to his feet.

Savitar lifted a finger, as if signaling a petulant child not to be rude as his mother was on the phone—"Suffering in an endless void for all eternity."

"How. Do. I—"

"Another victim Barry Allen failed to save-"

"—Get. Him. Out?"

Savitar was then in Barry's face. A loud screech emanated from his suit, the mouth seeming to open, showcasing a dark gaping maw in its place. Barry winced as the electronic shriek filled his ears, shorting out his communication link with the Cortex. His ears rang, HR's frantic voice became muffled and filled with static.

On one hand, not having to hear HR was a bit of a good thing. On the other, it had to be hard to sit back in the Cortex and not know what was going on. And, Barry had to admit that HR's way of looking at things from a different point of view had its moments of being helpful. He wondered what HR would say to help him then.

"—You already know the answer, Barry," Savitar growled. Barry glared at Savitar, eyes filled with pure hatred. "I know what you're thinking. You want to kill me, don't you? If you had the strength to end my life, you would've done it already. But Barry Allen doesn't kill, he's the good guy." Savitar reached out and grabbed Barry's face, darkness closing around him as Savitar's palm covered his face. "The boy Joe raised. The man Cadence loves." Barry felt pinpricks along the sides and top of his head, Savitar's claws digging into his head. Blood rolled down the sides of his face. Savitar's hand shook. "You have everything and deserve none of it. I'm going to destroy this city like I did in the future, so you'll see the truth, Barry. And then, you'll treat me like the God I am. I want so badly to kill you, and I will. But you have to live a little longer."

He spun Barry around and grabbed him by the back of his head. Held Barry off the ground, shook him back and forth in front of his friends. Put him out on display. "Long enough to see them all die!"

"Not if I don't kill you first," Barry gasped. He phased through Savitar's grasp, through Savitar's body, and landed on the ground behind him. Then he ran in rapid circles, throwing a lightning bolt at Savitar. As soon as his arm lowered, Barry turned and ran as far away from the scene of the fight.

When he was far enough away, he turned back and streaked toward Savitar. He churned his arms and legs, feeling the Speed Force coursing through him, felt the lightning shake through his eyes. He pushed himself, harder and faster. Everything around him blurred, he only focused on Savitar in front of him, slowly turning around to face him. Barry pulled back his arm and threw a punch forward, a supersonic punch aimed for Savitar's face.

Too late.

Savitar, Barry didn't see, was quick to respond to Barry's move. Maybe there was truth to what he constantly boasted, how he was faster than Barry. How he knew every move Barry was going to make. How he, somehow, knew to turn at just the same time and extended his left hand. Barry's punch struck Savitar's left hand. Savitar clenched his hand around Barry's fist, holding him still. His other hand swung around-

Siiink.

Barry gasped, his eyes shifting to the spear that pierced his shoulder, sticking out his back. Barry looked up into Savitar's face in time to see Savitar retract the spear. A scream, a roar, everything went black.

He didn't wake up until an hour passed. Barry sucked in a sharp breath, hand immediately flying to his shoulder where he'd been wounded. His fingers spidered over his skin, looking for Savitar's spear continuously sticking out his skin. His eyes shifted to the faces around him, landing on Iris and Joe, who stood over him, tears in their eyes.

Joe held Wally's destroyed suit in his hands, clenched so tightly that not even the hands of ate would rip it from him. Guilt was a fickle thing; coming at the worst of times that could be debilitating due to overthinking a simple faux pas that was made. Guilt for what may have been the end of someone's natural life…that was something Barry would never get over.

Not when it's happened so many times before.

Not when he was the cause of the destruction of everyone's lives.

"Joe," Barry whispered. Struggled to get the words out. "'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Joe shook his head. "It's not your fault." Barry had to look away when he saw the tremble that shot through Joe's chin. Saw the tears that gathered in his pseudo-father's eyes. Looked to Iris and saw she was doing her best to stay strong for her father. But barely managed to do so herself. Joe's chin continued to quiver, he twisted Wally's suit in his hands. "It's…it's not your fault."

Iris leaned closer to Barry, gently pressing her hand to his forehead to brush his hair back from his face. She leaned closer to him. "Where is he, Barry?" Iris asked. "Is he in pain? Is…is he…?" Cisco's words made her stop her question, removing her hands from him to cover her mouth, quieting her sobs.

"One will suffer a fate worse than death," Cisco murmured.

At that, Joe lost his composure. "What are we going to do? We have to bring him back, we have to save him. I can't lose Wally, Barry."

Barry closed his eyes. He could feel himself starting to break down, needed to stay strong. For them. For himself. He opened his eyes and looked Iris in the eye. "I'm sorry." Iris reached out and grabbed his hand, gently shaking her head. She wiped the tears away from her face, gave a small smile. Didn't have to say anything. Barry knew her well enough to know she was letting him off the hook as well.

But he didn't deserve it.

Not when he knew the truth.

Not when everything was his fault.

Not when he was the only one who could fix it.

It didn't take long for him to notice that Brady, Leah, and Cadence weren't around when he woke up. Upon asking where they were, he found the two kids sitting quietly around the bed Cadence was lying silently in with Jesse holding onto her other Earth sister's hand, torn between sobbing over news of Wally and what had happened between her and Cadence when they were both controlled by Mindboggler.

Barry made his decision then. He knew what he was going to do. Had made up his mind once Savitar told him about the Speed Force. Knew what he was going to do once he saw Wally get sucked into the vortex that led to the powers that aided and saved them daily.

So he made the decision and explained it to his friends saying, "Fear makes us do a lot of things we shouldn't. My fear's the reason for all of this. Savitar was right, this is all because of me. Because of my weakness. Fear. Flashpoint. Because of it, everyone's lives have changed. Everyone I love is suffering. This has to stop. I can't let anyone hurt me anymore because of me. No one else should have to pay for my sins. And they won't. Never again."

"What does that mean?" Jesse had asked.

"I'm going to save Wally. I'm going back into the Speed Force."

It all ran through Barry's head as he stood in the lightning vortex that was the Speed Force. The familiar blues and grays that swirled around as lightning struck in moderate flashes. Barry waited for the lightning storm to dissipate, resisting the urge to turn back, to call back to Cisco and call to be reeled back into the Cortex, wondering if he was making the right decision.

Barry closed his eyes, allowing the winds to whip around him as the Speed Force allowed him inside. He could still feel Cisco's hand on his shoulder, reminding him that once he let go he was on his own. But that wasn't quite true was it? Even if he were physically alone he had his team behind him every step of the way. They were counting on him just as much as he was counting on himself to save Wally.

To save them all.

He couldn't stop Savitar without his team behind him, all of them and wouldn't have him take their lives just to get to him. It was the point that confused him the most, what Savitar really wanted. Why was he constantly dangling Barry's future and impending defeat in his face when he could just do it? What did he truly want with Wally and what did Flashpoint have anything to do with it?

Flashpoint created other metas, Savitar and Alchemy used Flashpoint to create those metas; Frankie and the others. What did it have to do with Savitar specifically?

Barry looked up, breaking from his thoughts as he felt an energy change. The Speed Force was opening for him. The lightning storm faded revealing his lab at the CCPD. For a moment, Barry wondered if he was dreaming. The Speed Force could do magical things. It gave him abilities that were otherwise impossible.

It gave him the strength to finally come to terms with his mother's death the year before. But being in his lab…watching lightning flash and hearing thunder roll through the window that overlooked the city, goosebumps appeared on his arms. Barry twisted around, bringing his hands to the emblem on his suit, wondered if he'd see himself race into the lab, only moments before being struck by lightning.

But everything was in its place. As Barry walked along the perimeter, he looked over everything. The pictures lining his desk were the same. The books and textbooks he'd carefully organized on his shelf were untouched. Even Julian's desk in the office was the same.

Barry gritted his teeth.

Julian.

He'd never disliked someone as much as he disliked Julian. And yet, he felt nothing but pity for him. For the entity that took him over and poisoned him with the alter ego all the while Julian was unaware of it. Maybe not knowing was better, Barry reasoned. If what happened to Caitlin is any indication… Barry stopped at the edge of Julian's desk and looked towards the open door of his lab.

He stopped.

Listened hard.

There it was again.

The faint sound of a chair being moved. Scratching against the floor on its feet. Barry's eyebrows furrowed. Was there someone else in there with him? Had Jesse ignored his warning not to come along with him as he went inside? Or, his mind tried to rationalize, was it a ghost of some sort?

The ghost of his guilt? Of the lives he lost along the way? Of the ones he had a hand in losing when the gorillas attacked? He took in a deep breath and followed the sound, moving at a slow walk. The slowest he'd moved within the last couple of months. Barry walked down the stairs to the bullpen. All the desks were empty, untouched. Almost like a museum.

Barry turned in a slow circle, heard another scraping sound from Captain Singh's office, and followed the sound. He stopped at the threshold, staring in disbelief at what must've been a ghost in front of him. Stopping when he found someone standing before him.

Stopped when he saw Eddie Thawne in front of him.

Not Eddie, Barry realized from the calm way the deceased detective turned to him. He remembered it from his last visit in the Speed Force. It wasn't Eddie. Eddie was dead. It was the Speed Force manifesting through Eddie. And yet, Eddie's low gravelly voice came out in a tone so familiar to Barry that it made tears come to his eyes.

Guilty tears.

"Why are you here?" Eddie asked. He stepped toward Barry, placing his hands on his hips, the same way he always did when thinking of a case that had no end in sight. "Why are you back in this place.?"

Barry swallowed hard. He'd figured it would've been obvious. The Speed Force should've known of its new occupant. Yet, Barry felt that he had to answer. Had to say something or else anger it even further. His throat was dry, still burning from his earlier screams. "To save Wally."

Eddie slowly smiled. He chuckled, lowering his head. Like he'd just been told the funniest joke he'd ever been told. "Ever the hero, huh Bare?"

"It's my fault he's trapped here," Barry said. He took a pleading step towards Eddie, hopping to appeal to him, to the Speed Force.

"Is it?" Eddie blinked once, leveling his gaze at Barry.

"Where is Wally?"

"He's not exactly here, per se." Eddie shrugged, noticing Barry's frustrated glance. He bobbed his head, smiled again. In on the secret that Barry wasn't being told. "He's in the prison you created. Your future self, that is."

"How do I get him out?"

"We're not going to be as accommodating as you were the last time you visited us."

Barry took a deep breath. Eddie hadn't shouted his words, had spoken in a low, neutral tone. But with the eerie silence around them, he may as well have screamed the words. Barry's heart started to race. Something was wrong. He didn't know what it was, but something was wrong. Something was coming. "What the hell does that mean?" Barry whispered.

He frowned. Hated how small his voice sounded. Like a child who'd just bene reprimanded for talking back to his parents. The Speed Force had the control. He didn't.

"It means things have changed," Eddie explained. He folded his arms, wincing as he did so. As if he had pain in his shoulders. "We gave you your speed back because you said you'd come to terms with your mother's death."

"I did," Barry murmured.

Eddie shook his head. He stepped forward. "You lied to us. You went back in time and saved her. And in doing so, you created Flashpoint."

"Zoom killed my father!" Barry protested.

Eddie nodded. Sympathy flashed over his face. "We know, and we understand, which is why we allowed you do it. But choices have consequences and we can't let you do it again."

Barry lowered his head. No. The Speed Force was supposed to help him. The Speed Force was supposed to…to make him a hero. It was supposed to be a beacon of hope. And yet, it took Barry until that moment to truly understand that the Speed Force wasn't a person. It wasn't a thing. It was an entity with its own rules and regulations.

Wally wasn't going home.

"Wally's a kid," Barry whispered.

"He's a Flash!" Eddie insisted, voice turning hard. Harsh. "And he's made his choice." He lifted a hand and pointed at Barry, directly at the heart. "Just like you did."

Barry clenched his hands. Swelled his chest. "I'm not going anywhere until he's free."

"Then prepare to spend and eternity in here."

Eddie turned on his heel, turned his back to Barry. Barry gaped at Eddie, struggling to find the right words to say, to make the Speed Force let them go. He watched as Eddie took a few steps away from him, towards the memorial on the wall that held past fallen officers.

Crack!

Barry jumped. The loud sound made him yelp involuntarily. His heart thudded painfully against his chest, fear increasing its size two-fold. He brought a hand up to press against the emblem of his suit. Tried to force his heart down. It raced even faster when the familiar smell of gun powder reached his nose. Someone was shooting somewhere.

He bent at the knees, readying himself to start running. Muscles tensed.

Then Eddie turned, revealing a growing blood stain across the shoulder of his white dress shirt. Straining further and further as the seconds passed. He motioned to the photos. One of the real Eddie Thawne.

"Eddie Thawne's life was almost so different," Eddie explained, looking Barry in the eye. Something about the Speed Force kept Barry from looking away. "Iris was about to be his wife, Joe was about to be his father in law. But things didn't turn out that way, did they? Instead of that life being his legacy…" he gestured to himself, tapped his finger against the bloodstain on his shoulder. "This is." He eyed Barry carefully. "The only reason you came back was to save Wally?"

"Yes," Barry breathed.

Eddie slightly turned his head away. "There's no other reason?"

"No," Barry whispered once more.

Eddie watched him for a long moment. He nodded and shrugged. "Alright then, Bare, if you want Wally, all you have to do,"—he pointed to the elevator just behind the bull pen— "Is go through those doors."

Barry started toward it.

"But you have to outrun that thing first."

The doors dinged open. Time slowed down around Barry, sensing danger coming closer and faster than he could anticipate. Everything slowing down gave him the chance to run through a gauntlet of emotions. Awe, fear, trepidation, determination, and confusion as a screaming banshee raced his way.

Barry took a quick look at it before he turned on his heel and raced away. He circled the CCPD bullpen repeatedly, the screaming banshee clawing and scraping at his back as he ran. Once. Twice. Three times. Four. Five. Finally, Barry shot himself into the elevator, crashing against the back of it. He reached out his foot and kicked at the buttons that's prompt the elevator to go to a new floor.

It slid shut, just as the banshee arrived and Barry slumped to the floor, letting out a long breath.

Safe.

Safe for now.

The elevator took a long journey to what was only supposed to be the second floor. When it finally arrived, Barry caught his breath and was back on his feet, ready for the banshee to take off after him as soon as the doors opened. But when it did so, Barry got a second shock. Instead of still being in the CCPD, he was back in STAR Labs.

Barry slowly stepped out of the elevator, traversing the same hallway he walked every day to reach the Cortex. As he moved closer and closer, he heard soft singing. A lullaby. Hush little baby.

Hush little baby, don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird.

Barry moved into the Cortex and saw Caitlin gently bouncing a baby back and forth in her arms. Her head was angled down, eyes focused on nothing but the baby, a small smile splayed on her lips. Barry had only seen the same smile a few times, from his mother to him, from Cadence to Brady, and from Maya and Tess to Cadence. A smile that seemed that only mothers could give.

Barry's eyes shifted back to the baby Caitlin gently swaddled. A girl from the look of the pink blanket she was swaddled in. Then he heard another cry and whipped around, to see Cadence—a younger Cadence—standing on the other side of the Cortex. A baby boy in her arms. Like Caitlin, she gently bounced the baby, tears running down her cheeks.

She wasn't singing.

She was murmuring to her baby. "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

"Caitlin?" Barry looked between the two. "Cade?" Barry moved closer to Caitlin, looking down into the baby girl's face, taking in her pursed lips as she was soothed. Saw the familiar flutter of the eyelashes, saw the nose and overlying features that looked so familiar. "This baby…"

"Is beautiful." Ronnie's voice made Barry turn.

This time with resignation.

Speed Force Ronnie walked closer to Barry. Then he stepped aside and allowed a manifestation of Kent Nash to follow him. The first time Barry had seen him since his funeral, where he sat further back in the pews, not feeling it was his place to sit closer even to support Cadence. It gave him a good view of Kent's picture placed on an easel, a picture taken for his advertising business. Of a man who looked like every man's best friend.

And now, the same man was standing in front of Barry, looking at him curiously. Barry turned back to Cadence, who continued to gently bob a baby in her arms. This time, Barry realized, the 'baby' was in fact a toddler sized Brady, who was wrapped in a blue blanket, clutching it tightly to his neck.

"Hello, Barry," Ronnie greeted him with a nod.

"We need to talk," Kent added.

Barry swallowed hard and looked back at Caitlin. Watched as she reached out her finger and gently stroked the baby's cheek. "They should've had that," he murmured. "A family…future…" He thought for a moment, looking at Caitlin's state of dress, the way her hair was styled. Familiar. Dread washed over him. "This would've happened…if the Particle Accelerator hadn't exploded, wouldn't it?"

Kent shrugged. "The future doesn't always turn out as we want it to."

"I see what you're doing," Barry murmured.

"Do you?" Ronnie raised an eyebrow.

Barry nodded. He set his jaw and looked at the two manifestations of the Speed Force. "First Eddie, now Ronnie. Showing me the people who sacrificed for the greater good."

"No, Barry, these people sacrificed for you. Just like Wally did when he was trying to stop Savitar." Barry looked toward Kent. Ronnie followed his gaze. Kent scoffed and shook his head. "You don't understand, do you?"

"He had a brain tumor," Barry murmured, remembering what was explained to him at the hospital after Cadence's frantic phone call to him. He'd made it there in record time, finding the Nash family sitting quietly in their own forms of grief. Barry had been surprised to see how they'd handled things compared to her phone call; calm and straightforward. "He didn't know."

"Ah, but he did," Kent denied. He reached up and tapped his forehead. Right between his temple and his forehead. "It's hard to ignore a tumor the size of a walnut pressing between the parts of your brain that holds your motor functions, personalities, and behaviors. Kent knew it was inoperable and knew he was dying when he went to visit you for Thanksgiving that year."

"He wouldn't let Cadence heal him," Barry remembered.

"And he wouldn't allow himself to pull her away from the new family and happiness she was creating with you and Brady in Central City. With her new friends. He'd made his mistakes. Made peace with them. Made up with her but knew their family, as he knew it, was over. Kent wasn't a man that dwelled on things he couldn't change. Kent Nash knew, in a manner of speaking, he was part of the reason she found you. In that aspect, he'd made a sacrifice for you. Just like Wally."

"I don't…" Barry shook his head. "Savitar tricked Wally. And now he's trapped. You have to let me take his place. That's why I'm here!"

"Or the other reason, Barry," Ronnie insisted.

Barry shook his head. Tried again. He had to make them understand. They weren't understanding him. "I want to sacrifice myself for Wally."

"We can't allow that," Ronnie said sympathetically.

"Because where Wally is, it's a hell on its own," Kent added. "It's not a place for you." He waved his hand, shooed Barry away. "Leave while you still can."

"No," Barry said firmly. He took a step towards Kent and Ronnie, staring them down. "Whatever hell he's in, I'm going to set him free. And I'm not going to leave until I do."

"Very well." Ronnie's eyes shifted behind Barry. Kent stepped back. "But you were warned." The banshee—the Black Flash—raced forward and shoved Barry hard on the back.

Barry stumbled, used his powers to right himself, and started running once more. The Black Flash followed along behind him. He turned and ran up the wall of the Cortex, zipping around as fast as he could. The manifestations of Kent, Ronnie, Cadence, and Caitlin all watched him, passive expressions on their faces.

They ran through the hallway of the Cortex, throwing each other around once they got close enough to grab each other. Barry threw the Black Flash through their glass dry-erase board, but the Black Flash phased through it and came back, punching Barry hard in the face. Barry fell aside and started to run again, heading towards the elevator once more. He made it only for the Black Flash to throw a lightning bolt at it; the bolt crashed into the elevator doors and rocketed into Barry's chest, knocking him flat on his back.

"No." The Black Flash grabbed Barry around the neck, starting to squeeze. He gasped and thrashed against the entity's hold around his neck. "Please."

"We warned you," Ronnie sing-songed.

Barry turned his gaze to Ronnie and Kent, who'd followed the fight to the elevator bay. "Why are you doing this?" He pleased.

"You speak of sacrifice and yet you still let others bear the burdens that should be on your shoulders," Kent accused.

Barry continued to fight against the Black Flash. But, this time, he heard the Speed Force's words. Listened to them. Heard them. They kept saying the same thing. It had to be true in some ways. "Okay, you're right," he conceded. He still struggled to knock the Black Flash off. The Black Flash merely screamed in Barry's face, giving Barry the up-close and personal view of Hunter Zoloman's rotting skin. "You're right. I never should've trained Wally to save Iris. It should've been me. Please, let me save him."

"There's only one way to free him from his eternal torment," Kent pointed out. "You must free yourself, first."

Barry gasped as the Black Flash slowly, very slowly, started to suck out his life force. He struggled harder. Hunter's skeleton smiled back at him. "Give up, Barry," he hissed. "Give in. You're just like me."

"I'm nothing like you," Barry rasped venomously.

"You feel it, the darkness inside you," Hunter continued. "Don't fight it, Barry. It'll just continue to grow within you. You can't lock up the darkness."

"I can try!" Barry grabbed his emblem and ripped it from his suit. He smacked it into the Black Flash's face, sending energy from the Speed Force into a white lightning bolt that coursed through the Black Flash's body. He screamed and was blasted away so fast that Kent and Ronnie had to jump out of the way.

The lightning that coursed through him was so bright that Barry was momentarily blinded. Getting to his feet, he groped along the walls to get to the door. He blinked, shook his head. Moved all the light from his eyes. Finally, he lifted his head and spotted Wally through the window. He shouted and yelled, hoping to reach Wally's form that stood silently over an empty hospital bed. He reached for the doorframe, stopping when an icy blast kept him from doing so.

"I wouldn't do that," Snart gloated.

This time, Barry wasn't surprised at the appearance of the newcomer. He knew the plan by that stroke. Could only guess who would be the next to show up. And even then, Snart wasn't one of the first ones he would've chosen. "What's happening to him?" Barry demanded. "Why can't I get him out?"

"Wally West is caught in an endless temporal loop," Snart explained. "Just like Savitar after you imprisoned him here in the future." Snart leaned against the wall, raising an eyebrow. He looked Barry up and down, being obvious about it. Then he parted his lips and let out a low whistle. "No wonder he hates you."

Barry pressed his forehead against the glass. He watched Wally. I'm going to get you out, Wally. Somehow, someway, I'll get you out, Barry thought. Wally turned his head towards Barry, as if hearing him. But instead of reacting to the speedster, he turned back to the bed and did it all over again. Watched silently, a tear would slide down his cheek, then he'd turn to the side.

Over and over.

Watching something.

"What's he seeing?" Barry murmured.

Snart's smile widened. "He's reliving the most painful moment of his life." He leaned closer to Barry and whispered in his ear, "His mother's death." Barry's blood ran cold. Snart chuckled. "I'm sure you can understand the sentiment."

Oh, he understood. Understood what it was like to watch both of his parents' deaths play out before him. Understood the pain and confusion he felt when he heard something happening downstairs and raced from his bed to see his mother screaming in the idle of a swirling yellow vortex.

"Mom!" He shouted over his mother's screams. "Mom!"

"Nora!" Henry shouted. Then he turned and grabbed his son, kneeling so he could look in his eyes. "Run, Barry, run!"

The next thing Barry knew, he was blocks away from home, standing only in his PJs and slippers. He ran all the way back, huffing and puffing, lungs burning as he streaked through the cold fall night. Ran all the way home where he pushed past officers to his mother's dead body lying quietly on the ground, eyes wide as they stared up at him.

"Mom!" Barry cried. Then whispered. "Mom…?"

It was over twenty years later where he'd feel that pain once more. Where he thought a good time in his life was going to continuously be good. Things were getting better for him. He was enjoying a meal out with his friends and his family. His father.

Then Zoom had his father, held him dangling in front of Barry like a pathetic toy. Barry had to watch, had to beg, had to plead for Zoom not to harm his father. Then had to watch as he was murdered in front of him just as his mom was years before. It was all that pent-up pain that made Barry scream so loud and so hard that only someone who saw their life ripped away from them could do.

He was tired of that pain.

Tired of running from it.

"He doesn't deserve this," Barry whispered.

"And let me guess, you do."

Barry nodded. "I know what my hell is," he murmured. He lifted his chin and looked at Snart. There was a knowing gleam in Snart's eyes. There wasn't anything more painful than losing the last important part in his life. "I've already seen it, in the future."

"You don't like it?" Snart taunted. "Then change it."

"I can't!" Barry spat venomously. He got into Snart's face, glaring at him, gritting his teeth. Snart merely looked back at him, almost disinterested. "Don't you get it? He's faster than me. He knows what I'm going to do before I do it! I can't do anything to get ahead of him! That's why you have to let me take his place. Wally can save Iris."

Snart huffed a furious huff through his nose. "You're not learning your lesson, Barry. You keep telling us one thing and then doing another." He reached out, poking Barry in the chest with his cold gun, forcing Barry to walk backwards. "You want to know what inspired Leonard Snart to sacrifice himself?" He jabbed him again. "It was you, Barry Allen. You inspired him to be better, to be selfless, to sacrifice himself for others. To be a hero, just like you."

Barry shook his head. Lowered his gaze. "I'm not a hero."

"Then why does Brady follow you so easily?" Snart demanded. Barry sucked in a sharp breath. "Why do people put their faith in your hands? Why do people look for you to help them?"

"I'm not a hero," Barry repeated. "Not lately."

"So, what? You've had enough Scarlet Speedster? Time to hang up the cowl and give it all up? Well, if you're out." Snart shrugged. "You're out."

"I'm done fighting," Barry clarified.

Fatigue washed over him. Of everything. He was tired of everything. Tired of not knowing a life outside of being a hero. He couldn't come close to remembering what it was like. Was it a life he even enjoyed? Where his parents were dead, where he was ostracized and demonized in private but looked at with sympathy in public, where he was in love with someone who would never love him back, where he was seeing as 'The White Shadow' and a nerd and of no use except for impromptu and last-minute study sessions?

He was tired of not remembering that life because of the stress and pain he'd felt. Blocked out some memories of his mother, fell back into sullen and quiet ways when he was especially hurting, reacted with intense anger when anyone in his life was even remotely threatened. Tired of being so emotional.

Tired of being tired.

Snart's voice turned sarcastic. "We know and that's exactly the problem." He lifted his chin. "We gave you every chance you could get to take your job seriously, Barry, and you continue to spit upon it. The Speed Force is collapsing, Wally is the Flash, he made the choices he made. Just as you have." Snart lifted his cold gun and pointed it directly at Barry's chest. "You think seeing their death is hell. You ain't seen nothing yet. Say goodbye to your powers, Flash."

Barry stared back at him. His eyes widened in horror. He tried to stop it. Not fast enough.

A small smile came to Snart's lips. "Oh, did we not make it clear? You're giving up. The Speed Force isn't there for you to use willy-nilly. It is force responsible for pushing space and time forward. An endless void of time and energy. We control you and your powers as much as you control the power of the speed force when we allow it to you. Just like in Flashpoint. You were losing your connection."

It replayed in Barry's head. How he ran towards Wally—Kid Flash—in Flashpoint, trying to keep him from falling into a dumpster. Spinning his arms in circles as quickly as he could, to create air vortexes that would catch Wally, Barry found himself slowly starting to lose his powers. His air vortexes didn't work, his speed kept him tripping and falling, his memories had slowly failed.

It was one thing to not have it in Flashpoint, an entirely other thing to affect his actual life.

Snart's cold gun started to emit a high-pitched squeal, powering up. "It was nice knowing you, Barry. You did the best you could, but it wasn't good enough." An ice blast shot toward Barry. Barry started to move but found himself shifted eight inches to the side. In the same second, a punch connected with the side of Snart's face, dropping him to the ground.

Jay turned back to Barry, placing his hands on his hips. "Okay, kid. Let's get you out of here." Barry gaped at him. Jay chuckled and shook his head, lightning bolts on his helmet gleaming. He read Barry's mind. "It's really me, kid. Don't look so freaked out."

"Wha…?" Barry shook his head. "How?"

"Cisco came to my Earth and told me what was happening," Jay explained. "How you came in here to take on the Speed Force. I came here to help. Let's go get Wally."

The cold gun whirled again. This time, when Snart got back to his feet, his face was twisted into an expression of intense disgust. An almost horrific mask of disappointment from the Speed Force to a speedster. He heaved, snorting like a bull, shoulders rapidly rising and lowering. "We can't let you do that, Barry," he warned.

"You keep telling me that you want me to tell you why I'm here," Barry snapped. "And that you can't let me leave. What is it that you really want?"

"We know the Speed Force is collapsing," Jay added, drawing Snart's eyes his way. "There's nothing that will make you happy will it? What is it that will keep the Speed Force from dying out?"

"Once Barry confronts the truth…" Snart trailed off, shrugging. "'I can't say what's going to happen."

Jay took in a deep breath and turned to Barry. "Sounds like you've got your answer, kid," he said gently.

Barry shook his head. "I don't…I don't know what they want. I don't know what the truth is."

"Yes, you do, Barry!" Snart insisted. He took a step forward. "Why are you in here?"

"To save Wally!" Barry shouted back, voice cracking. "I told you."

"That's not good enough! Why are you in here?"

"I don't know!"

Barry let out a yell of frustrated fury. He brought his closed fists up to his eyes, pressed against his forehead. He tapped his fists against his forehead. Punched repeatedly. Shouted, screamed, ranted and raved. Released all the pent-up anger that had been within him since Flashpoint…for what felt like years.

Then he stopped. And lifted his chin. He looked Snart in the eye. Snart smiled and nodded. He lowered his cold gun and waved his hand to the door behind him. It unlocked by itself and opened.

"Well, that's a neat trick," Jay murmured. He glanced at Barry, who ignored the look and walked slowly into the room. Wally continued to look at the empty hospital bed then to the side and back repeatedly. "Wally?" Barry inched toward him. "Wally? Hey, Wally." He rubbed Wally's shoulder in a soothing circle.

Wally gasped and turned, breaking out of his trance. "Barry?" His eyes shifted towards the older speedster, who took off his helmet and nodded. Wally quickly wiped away his tears. "Jay?" Wally sniffled, looked towards the bed again. "I don't know, I…I saw my mom." His voice weakened at the end.

"I know," Barry replied. He swallowed hard, gripped Wally's shoulder tighter. Held onto him. Wouldn't know he was okay until he was out of the Speed Force. "I know. But you're free now. You don't have to watch it again. We're going home, alright? It's okay. We're going home."

Jay reached out and grasped Barry's shoulder the same way Barry had awakened Wally from his Speed Force slumber. "Sorry, kid," he said. "This is where I stay for a while."

"What?" Barry's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"We both know that a speedster needs to take Wally's place. That's why I'm here." He looked Barry deep in the eye. "You know," he insisted.

And Barry did know. Still, he had to try and keep Jay as safe as the rest of them. "You already lived your hell when you were Zoom's prisoner."

"And you set me free and I owe you for that."

"-Jay—"

Jay set his helmet on the ground. He turned and grasped Barry's face, holding him the same way Henry used to hold him. The same look was as intense as Henry could ever give him. Filled with understanding and harsh parental concern. Jay's mind was never going to be changed. He gave Barry a tight-lipped smile. "I've run a hell of a race, but every marathon has a finish line. Time has come for me to cross it. But you, Barry, need to put an end to this once and for all and stop Savitar."

"How?"

"Be the Flash." He held Barry a moment longer, raising his eyebrows pointedly. Barry nodded back. He reached up his hands, placed it on top of Jay's and held still. And for that moment, just for that moment, it wasn't Jay and Barry, The Flash and The Flash, but Henry and Barry Allen.

A final farewell.

Barry took a step back. Jay picked up his helmet and handed it to Barry, pointing out the device attached to the underside of a lightning bolt. "Cisco told me that this would bring you back to them, a sort of tether," Jay explained, making Barry nod once again. Barry took the helmet and spun it in his hands, he glanced at Wally, who watched the exchange with a tinge of fear. "I'm going to get this back to you again. When I break you out of here."

Jay smiled. "See you soon, Flash."

Barry backed away, holding Jay's helmet tightly in his hands, before he and Wally raced off. Their last image of Jay staring down at the empty hospital bed. They ran through the Cortex, over and over until a breach opened. Seconds before Barry ran through with Wally seconds ahead of him, he saw Eddie, Ronnie, Kent, Cadence, Caitlin, and Snart all watching him go.

Barry faced forward once more, plunging himself through the vortex.

Heading back to his Earth…with the knowledge of who Savitar really was.

Across Central City, nestled between a Big Belly Burger and a Sprint Store, a fire broke out. Starting as a small flame that flickered along the ground—small enough that anyone would think a piece of Big Belly Burger garbage became trapped in the summer sun—it grew larger and larger as the seconds passed. Flames shot into the air and within it a darkened figure slowly stepped out.

Glancing at the flames that barely marred her clothes, Burnout stretched and rolled her neck. She looked to her side, noticing her companion wasn't with her, then turned back to the flames. She tilted her head aside then reached in. Once her fingers curled around something hard, she pulled hard, dragging Earth-2 Barry came flying out of the flames.

He stumbled, quickly caught his balance. He yelped, thrashing around to swat at the flames that covered the shoulders and hem of his cardigan. Burnout simply lifted her hand and snapped. The flames immediately dissipated, and Earth-2 Barry stopped jerking around, whipping his head back and forth to examine his clothing further. When he found himself to be safe, he let out a sigh of relief, shoulders slumping.

For the first time in years, Burnout smiled.

"That's the last time I let you teleport me between Earths. I think using a breach is much safer." Earth-2 Barry looked at her, noticed her smile and folded his arms. "I've been on enough cases to know the consequences of being burned alive and it is something I don't intend on doing. And I highly doubt the integrity of the clothes they have on this Earth can stand up to the quality of ours."

"You didn't have to wear any of the stuff from here," Burnout pointed out. She picked a stray piece of ash off her shoulder and crushed it between her fingers. "You could've continued wearing your own clothes."

"If we need to blend in, we need to dress the part," Earth-2 Barry insisted. Burnout lifted an eyebrow and turned on her heel, starting toward the street. Earth-2 Barry pulled his bag up his shoulder and hurried after her, the bag bobbing against her side. "You saw how they looked when they came to our Earth."

Burnout shrugged. "I didn't notice. I was a little busy."

Earth-2 Barry glanced at her and nodded. Silence stretched between them as they stepped onto the street and blended in with everyone that walked by. If anyone found her way to dress to be different or eye catching, they didn't show it. Everyone who passed by gave a friendly 'hello' and 'wave' making her look at them with suspicion.

Earth-2 Barry noticed and said under his breath, "It's not weird for people to be happy to see you here," he pointed out.

"Because here I'm not a criminal?" Burnout guessed. She shot him an amused smile then shook her head. "I wasn't thinking about that, I was just thinking…" she shrugged. "You know I can't go back there," she pointed out. "Even after all of this is over I can't go back."

"Would you even want to go back? What do you have waiting for you?"

Burnout paused, her eyebrows furrowing together. She sniffed and looked away. Earth-2 Barry lowered his chin. "Oh," he said quietly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring him up. I forgot. I, uh, we can talk about something else."

"He hates me, you know."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

"Wouldn't you hate your parents if they decided to leave you with no explanation and never saw you after that?" Burnout clenched her hands, flames flickering from between her fingers. "Believe me, he hates me." She lowered her head. "Last time we were here, I saw him…I saw the version of him here."

Earth-2 Barry looked at her in wonder. Watched as Burnout's face became etched with…if he had to guess—he didn't need to guess, he knew—it was of guilt. The one emotion he hadn't seen on her face in years, since her downward spiral into murder, assault, and extortion within the Assassination Bureau. She'd become a mask of what they'd made her and hadn't broken free from that mask in years. There were little glimpses of her real self here and there, of which he made sure to enjoy and savor in the few times they came.

It was gone in seconds, Burnout's face turning as hard as granite with an extremely subtle tension in her facial muscles. "He loves her, here."

"I know," Earth-2 Barry agreed. "I can see it. Barry…" he trailed off, not wanting to make things any harder for her. Instead, he reached out his hand to take hers. She noticeably moved it away, folding her arms over her chest. Kept herself a good distance away from him. "I know you feel it, too, that you've seen it."

"How do we know it's real?" Burnout shot back, eyes flashed. She stared him down, continuing forward as if no one else was around them. Completely ignoring the Central City Citizens that nearly had to throw themselves out of the way to not be run down by her. "How do we know any of what we feel or see now is real?"

"Because you knew how you felt before we mind-melded with them," Earth-2 Barry pointed out. "And if it weren't for that, you wouldn't have agreed to come with me."

"Yeah, well." Burnout hummed, conceding his point. "Once this is done, you don't have to worry about it anymore."

Earth-2 Barry sucked in a weary breath through his nose. He lowered his voice to a murmur. "There's a lot of things we need right now, but your 'go for broke' attitude is not it. Though, from what I've seen, it isn't exactly different from the version of you that's here, so…"

Burnout rolled her eyes. She averted the gaze of anyone who looked toward her and smiled, some stopping to say 'hi' and asking her how she was doing.

"You know, you don't have to hide your identity," Earth-2 Barry pointed out. "The doppelganger here isn't a criminal."

"Eh…" That wasn't quite true. It was just that she hadn't been convicted. Or even suspected of things she'd done. It was one thing that Burnout could say about the Assassination Bureau on her Earth, Breathtaker was just as good there as he was on Earth-2.

Flushing at his faux pas, Earth-2 Barry waved his hands frantically. "Well, I mean, other than...uh, I guess, that's not what I meant. Uh, I know some things may have happened here but—"

"—It's not that, Barry." He looked curious. "If she gets mixed up with Lana Lang here nearly as much as I do back home, it's better if I don't bring too much attention to myself. As if to prove her point, she reached up and quickly pulled her hair back into a ponytail, sliding a hat atop her hair.

"Okay, so…what name should I call you?"

"What? Burnout doesn't turn you on?" Burnout chuckled when Earth-2 Barry gave her a look. "Fine. You can call me Catherine Chandler."

Earth-2 Barry snorted. "Catherine?"

Burnout smiled for the second time in years.

A/N: Before you all freak out, you WILL see the entirety of the Cadence/Jesse fight. But it won't be until the next chapter. This one is all about Barry, the next one is all about Cadence. And this is the point where my plans for the end of the season changes a lot of what happened on the show. I feel it's more dynamic and makes more sense the way I have it move, but if there's anything you're confused about please let me know and I'll try to make it clearer.

I miss writing Kent now that I (sort of) wrote him here. The one thing I would 100% change if I were to go back would be that I'd keep Kent alive. Because I think having him and Maya bounce off each other with Cadence's relationships with both would've been interesting as the show went on. Anyway, what'd you think?

I hope you enjoyed it.

Cheers,

-Riley

Review Replies

DarkHelm145: Writing Savitar is fun for me, but I can't wait for everyone to know because I have more fun writing him then and I hope you all would enjoy it as well. So, something to look forward to. But at least Barry knows now. (Sorry if this spoiled for anyone who may have jumped towards the bottom of the chapter).

Guest: There's going to be a lot of scenes with Savitar and Cadence coming, one is in the next chapter! So please stick around! :)

Ethan: Yep, Savitar got a boost from Cade. But how long it lasts and whether the rest of the team other than HR will realize it themselves is an entirely other thing.