CHAPTER 91 – Home Aside

It was horrible," Elizabeth whined.

She had come back to their family quarters after dismissing her students and impatiently waited for Jack to return from the swimming pool. The entire time she waited, she had become more and more irate.

She had decided that the whole trip was Jack's fault.

And then, not wanting to blame Jack because she loved him and he was actually pretty wonderful, Elizabeth had blamed the North American Defense Force. The Force had changed Jack's orders, made her take a physical fitness test with only hours' notice, forced the family to leave their cute home in Julie's irresponsible care, and somehow, in Elizabeth's mind, was even to blame for her forgetting to get implanted with birth control, falling on the shower room floor, and being found naked by three men.

Jack, wearing swim trunks and a towel around his neck, had barely stepped over the threshold of their small assigned quarters when Elizabeth began her rant.

It would have been more impressive of a rant if she didn't have to compete for Jack's attention.

Aaron, who cooing and giggling as Jack changed him out of his swim diaper and into a dry set of clothes, seemed to be taking away some of Jack's focus, but Elizabeth thought that she had done a good job at explaining the depth of her embarrassment over her students asking her about her anatomy and questioning her shower practices.

Except Jack, juggling a squirming baby in his arms, didn't seem to take it as seriously as she had.

"Look at the bright side," he said encouragingly.

"The bright side? The bright side that our suite mates, one of whom saw me naked, heard us making out in the shower? What bright side?!"

Jack cringed at her outburst before speaking. "That Keith wasn't fazed by seeing you naked."

"Oh, right. . . ," Elizabeth said agreeably as her eyes seem to brighten at the idea. "The bright side."

A naïve Jack relaxed his shoulders at her words.

"He wasn't fazed by seeing me naked," she said as she appeared to contemplate Jack's words. "He doesn't think my naked body is a big deal. . . . because he's too busy thinking about how STUPID I AM!" Her tone increased until it reached a crescendo.

She threw up her hands in angry emphasis before continuing to rant.

"Because I can't even enter a shower-code properly, or figure out that taking longer showers together with you doesn't save water minutes! And can you imagine if they found out about me forgetting to get my birth control implanted! Who cares if I'm seen naked? I'm just STUPID. A STUPID TEACHER! A STUPID TEACHER WHO APPARENTLY MAKES LOVE TOO LOUDLY!"

Jack considered her words before pleasant replying.

"You do moan sometimes. But I like it."

"Jack!"

He realized that he clearly hadn't given the appropriate response even though it was true, so he tried another. "Maybe they just have good ears."

"They're not bats! They're humans with normal sized ears and normal hearing."

"You're exaggerating the whole situation", he replied dismissively and then inserted one of Acorn's kicking feet into the onesie and proceeded to button it. "No one has even mentioned it on the transporter. Other that telling their wives, and a couple of kids overhearing a conversation they didn't understand. There's been no gossip, no laughs, no teasing. Nothing like when you were the transporter tart or the ship's S and M girl on our first voyage. Now that was something."

"Bringing those up isn't helpful!"

"I think it is," a slightly insulted Jack told her.

"That's because no one has ever called you a tart, or S and M girl."

"Well, technically I'm not a girl so that wouldn't even make sense," he said knowingly.

Elizabeth glared at him.

"You're not upset because you were seen naked or heard us," Jack realized. "You're over that because no one cares. You're upset because they might think that you're stupid or careless or ditzy. In your teacher-like mind, the worse thing possible is that they've questioned your intellect."

"Well, it's true, isn't it?" he challenged when she didn't immediately respond.

Elizabeth huffed. "So what?" she retorted.

"So, your pride has been hurt" he said with a chuckle.

He ran his hand through his son's hair and set the boy on the ground with a stuffed animal toy before opening up his locker and pulling out some clothes. Stripping down in front of Elizabeth, he continued. "Get over it."

"Get over it? My students think I don't know math and their parents think I'm stupid. And I'm supposed to get over it?"

"Elizabeth, we probably are stupid compared to half the people on this ship. The passengers are busy splitting atoms or busting apart isotopes, or looking into quantum leaps or whatever half of them do. They're going to think we're stupid no matter what. And frankly, I don't care. The other half of the ship - the crew – thinks that you're brave and loyal to come out here with me and to teach kids on a distant planet. They're impressed by you, no matter what the science nerds may think. And actually, I think the science nerds are impressed with you too. You're kind and wonderful and treat everyone with respect."

"You don't bust apart isotypes," a flattered Elizabeth begrudgingly replied.

"I know I don't."

A smile escaped Elizabeth's lips. "Nobody does. It's not a thing. You separate them by cryogenic distillation. The heavier ones sink and the lighter ones float."

"Well, you're smarter than me," he acknowledged with a smile. "And you don't see me getting all bothered."

Jack carefully removed his shoe from Aaron's mouth, causing the little boy to look up at his father and frown.

"Where's his teether?"

"It doesn't bother you? That someone thinks your wife is ditzy?" Elizabeth questioned as she dug around under a blanket and then handed Jack the improvised teether made of melted down and then molded condoms.

"Nope. Cuz I think you're perfect. And besides, there are only two people on this ship that I need to impress. You and this little guy, who can now swim, flip over, and float for eight seconds," Jack said proudly.

"Eight seconds? He's been having swim lessons for weeks, and he can only float for eight seconds?"

"I told you. It's not about actually swimming. Not like laps or something. For goodness sakes, he's just a baby," Jack replied in mild disgust that Elizabeth wasn't impressed with her son's progress. "It's about flipping onto his back and staying afloat until help arrives."

Elizabeth needed help. Well, not so much help. More like back-up.

Carrying her son on her hip, she walked down the hallway to Jack's office.

When she passed several people, they would smile if they felt like being polite, ignore her if they were busy, or stop to talk if they were friendly. None of them seemed aware that she and Jack had found the shower to be an interesting make-out room during their self-imposed quarantine, or that she had been found naked after falling with shampoo in her eyes. And no one seemed to consider her stupid, and if they did, it was based on their own assessments of IQs and not on how she acted on the transporter.

After breasting-feeding the baby, Elizabeth had stopped by the cafeteria and fed him a mixture of applesauce and oatmeal while Jack had gone back to work.

"What's up?" Jack asked when the door to his office slid open and Elizabeth now walked in with Aaron.

"I got a message from the ship's doctor. It's time for Aaron Daniel's eight-month check-up. I want you to go with me."

Jack leaned back in his chair and reached out his arms. Elizabeth transferred their son, who was stretching his own tiny arms, to him. Little Acorn was like a miniature version of his father. Brown hair. Expressive eyes. Adorable enough to make a woman melt.

"What happens at an eight-month check-up?" Jack asked as he allowed his son to grab at his face.

"The same thing as at a six-month check-up and a ten-month check-up. Weight. Length. Motor skills. Just to make sure he's meeting his milestones."

"Any shots for him?"

"Not this time. But I don't want to face the doctor alone. I still haven't forgiven the staff for giving him the wrong medication and making him temporarily pain-free."

"And energetic with no need for sleep." Jack reminded her.

"Can you come with us?"

"Sure." Jack stood up from his desk. "Luna's hearing's been postponed again. Someone in sanitation wants to file a complaint over loud noise coming from the room next door. Bertie in the aviary thinks someone's being teaching his birds to say dirty words, and someone stole a pair of undies from the laundry. It's not exactly like I'm in the midst of a dire law enforcement emergency."

He's doing fantastic. Except, I'm a little concerned about his bones."

"His bones? What's wrong with his bones? His bones are perfect," Elizabeth defensively told the doctor as she began dressing her squirmy boy.

The doctor, wearing a white coat with the ship's name embroidered on the upper left pocket, put away a reflex hammer and came back to the small boy.

"If you remember from your prior space trips, the lack of real gravity can make your spine stretch -or rather seem to elongate - as it no longer carries its own weight. With your son's bones still growing, I want to make sure that his entire musculoskeletal system isn't adversely affected without full gravity. Remember, he's the youngest child ever on a long-term space voyage. We don't have any statistics to as to what happens to an infant's body."

"What do you recommend?" Jack asked with a tinge of concern evident in his voice.

"These." The doctor opened a drawer and pulled out several small cloth bands which he turned over to Elizabeth. "I had these made earlier this week. They're weighted."

Elizabeth lightly tossed the objects in her palms and then handed them to Jack with a questioning look.

There were four of them; one for each limb. Each one sized to fit around an infant's chubby but still small wrists and ankles.

"There're not too heavy," Jack noted as he considered the weighted materials. "But you really think they're necessary?"

"I think so," the doctor replied. "They'll help with muscle mass and hopefully with normal bone growth. I'd like him to wear them for the remainder of the flight."

Two days later, Elizabeth thought that there was no way that the weight-filled fabrics would help with muscle mass or bone growth.

The only thing that they did was help with infant defiance and her son's wry sense of humor. He seemed to take pleasure in pulling apart the Velcro fastenings and throwing the objects to the floor whenever Elizabeth showed the slightest interest in them. Or whenever her back was turned. Or whenever she told him to leave them alone.

After bending down and picking up one from the floor, she lay on her belly and reached under the berth as she looked around for another missing bracelet.

"Listen little one, you need to stop losing these things."

Her son looked at her like she was only mildly interesting, and then crawled across the floor to look at the light sensors which were part of the automated door system. Elizabeth had deactivated them for a few days but then, tired of having to manually slide open the door every time she wanted to leave the room, she had turned them back on, but had had the maintenance staff move them higher up the wall- hopefully out of her son's reach.

Acorn was now wearing just a single bracelet which he twisted around to examine. He reminded Elizabeth of a woman at a "Tiffany and Company" who had just put on an expensive gold and diamond bracelet; examining it to determine if it was worthy of keeping on.

Elizabeth tossed the two weights she had found onto a lower berth, and then scooped up her son as the chimes signifying the dinner hour came over the intercom.

Within seconds the door to the bathroom opened and two young girls came in.

"Girls, you know you're not supposed to come in that way," Elizabeth gently reprimanded the twins. It had been a rule from day one on the transporter, but more often than not the twins used the short-cut of going through the bathroom rather than the standard front door to the main corridor when they wanted to visit Elizabeth.

"It's dinner time. Our mom and dad are both busy. Can we go with you?"

"Sure," Elizabeth replied with a friendly smile. "Officer Thornton is busy working."

"Is he making people mad again?" Susie questioned.

Elizabeth's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What do you mean? Who did he make mad?"

Susie shrugged. "Some man."

"Who? What man?"

"I dunno know. We heard some man say a bad word because he didn't like Officer Thornton looking through his stuff."

"That was days ago," Elizabeth said with a reassuring smile.

Jack had kept the purpose for his search a secret from the other passengers and crew. Instead of telling them that he was looking for smuggled ears of corn, he had announced a Health and Welfare Inspection, which was an inconvenience but not unheard on a transporter, naval ship, or military barracks. As far as the transporter's occupants knew, Jack was merely looking for banned substances, or work spaces and living quarters which were unkept and cluttered. As he had explained to Elizabeth, he didn't want to tip off anyone and have them move the smuggled corn. Unfortunately, he hadn't found anything of value for his investigation.

"He needed to search the ship. I'm sure no one's mad at him anymore. Some people just didn't like him doing his job. But I'm sure it's fine," Elizabeth remarked.

"What's home seaside mean?" Joyce asked as the four of them made their way down the corridor towards the cafeteria.

"Home seaside? You mean a seaside home?" Elizabeth asked. She scanned her bracelet for the elevator to arrive. "Like a beach house?"

Joyce shook her head. "Not seaside home. Home seaside. That's what the man who was mad at Officer Thornton said."

"I'm not sure," Elizabeth said with a smile. "Maybe he meant he would like to be in a home by the seaside instead of on this ship traveling through space. I'd like that. Wouldn't you? A nice house on a sandy beach with big waves to play in."

"I get to push the button!" Susie piped up as the door to the elevator slid open and they entered the small space.

"Darn it, Acorn must have dropped a weight. Hold the elevator and I'll be right back," Elizabeth told the girls when she noticed that her son now longer had any of the doctor-prescribed cloth wraps on his limps.

"It wasn't home seaside," Susie, holding the elevator open button while Elizabeth hurried back down the corridor to pick up the discarded weight bracelet, told her sister, as if she was smarter than her twin. "It was home aside."

"What's the difference?"

Susie shrugged. "I don't know. But it didn't sound like a place to live. It sounded like something you do."

"Let's not tell Mrs. Thornton. She might think we're calling her stupid 'cuz she doesn't know what it means. And she won't like it that someone was really mad at Officer Thornton. I hope they have ice cream for dessert tonight."

"Do you think we can have two scoops if mom and dad don't show up for a while?"

Elizabeth hastily jumped back into the elevator. Juggling her son in one hand, she tried to put his bracelet back on. "Got it," she exclaimed happily. "Everyone ready for dinner?"

"We're ready for dessert," the two girls giggled simultaneously.

Up Next: Chapter 92

Dear Readers: Just a few chapters ago, I mentioned how Elizabeth, while jogging on the treadmill, was pretty sure that she resembled the hunchback of Notre Dame running from the French police. And now, this week, we have Notre Dame on fire. I was lucky enough to visit there many years ago. Thankfully, it can be repaired. To my French readers, I'm thinking of you.

P.S. Thanks for all your reviews!