AN: I have a new poll up on my profile page. It's in regards to a new story. Take it, but don't take it too seriously.

A small porcupine scurried down the hall, a stack of files tucked neatly under his arm. He dodged around various larger officers and employees who didn't see him, narrowly avoiding quilling a few of them. The last thing he needed was to be taken up to HR and have to fill out yet another incident report regarding accidentally shanking his colleagues. It was just tedious after a while.

He came to a stop in front of the Chief's door, looking up at the bold black lettering emblazoned on the door that announced the water buffalo's title. He gingerly put a paw up to the door, his hand not even high enough to reach the glass of the door, and tapped three times on the white wood.

Nothing happened, leaving the small porcupine to wonder if the Chief was out at that particular time. Then a gruff came from the room, simply saying "Come in." The porcupine stretched up to push open the door. He walked in to see his Chief sitting at his desk.

He appeared to be going over some sort of document. His reading glasses sat on the bridge of his nose as his eyes skimmed over the page. He flicked a hoof up to turn the page.

Upon hearing the door open he glanced over at the porcupine nervously walking into the room. "What is it, Mr. Quills?"

"I have a report, sir. It's a report from an officer on one of their cases." He awkwardly gestured to the bundle in his hands. "Dr. Hobbes thought you should read it."

"Then hand it over, Calvin." The Chief replied brusquely.

"Ye-Yes sir." The nervous porcupine said as he moved towards the desk. He found himself often intimidated in the presence of Chief Bogo, who he personally thought had a very commanding presence.

Calvin Quills reached over for one of the files tucked under his arm, but faltered and ended up dropping the entire stack to the ground. The various reports, financial documents, records, and other materials flopped to the floor, papers flying from their designated folders. Many landed next to Bogo.

The Chief, seeing this, sighed. He leaned over to help the nervous porcupine pick up the mess. He handed over the papers he found to the small records mammal, who accepted them with a mumbled "Thank you" and clear signs of distress.

After he had placed the lost documents into what he assumed to be the correct files, he looked towards the floor and said, "Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to do that."

Chief Bogo rolled his eyes. "It's fine, Quills. Now would you kindly hand me the report you said you were here to give me?"

"Oh, yes, yes. Sorry, sir! Here you are." Calvin said, handing one of the files he had just picked up to his Chief.

"Thank you, Calvin." The Chief spoke calmly, trying not to make the young porcupine anymore jittery. "Is that all?"

"Yes sir!" Calvin Quills said with gulping.

"Wonderful. Close the door on your way out." The Chief spoke, turning his attention to the report he had just been handed.

Mr. Quills shuffled his feet anxiously before turning to walk from the from. As soon as he had closed the door to Chief Bogo's office he began scurrying again. He had to head towards the detective offices to deliver several autopsy reports on a recent incident. It appeared to be a classic case of ice cream delivery gone wrong, ending in the deaths of 3 different people.

Chief Bogo stared at the report in his hooves. He was apprehensive of what might be in it, but also cautiously optimistic that it wouldn't be anything too offensive. He opened the cover of the file, and read the first line of the report.

…

From the desk of Officer Judy Hopps, November 30th, Arrest of Suspect Larry Waddell

…

The Chief sighed. He was no longer cautiously optimistic, settling instead for only a desperate and unrivaled pessimism- that way he would not be nearly as disappointed.

…

My partner and I came across the suspect, Waddell, trying to break into someone's shop yesterday. We were on patrol as we were assigned. It was approximately 2:00pm and we found the suspect in district 3, attempting to break into a store while the owner and his employees were on their riposo.

The suspect was armed with a set of picks which he was trying to use to get into the store, while maintaining an appearance of outward innocence. He was not skulking and was instead trying to make it appear as if he were using a key to get into the business. I was driving the patrol vehicle so it was Officer Wilde who noticed that there was, in fact, a crime being committed.

I stopped the vehicle across the street and both Officer Wilde and myself exited the vehicle to approach the suspect. He was unaware of our presence, and instead seemed quite intent upon his task. As my partner and I safely came to the other side of the street I was able to hear the tumblers of the lock click into place.

I called out to the suspect before he could enter the place he was attempting to break into and (assumedly) rob. The raccoon in question turned to face me. Upon seeing my partner and myself he smiled and inquired as to what the issue was.

Thereupon I accused the suspect of the crime and questioned him as to what he thought he was doing. He made a claim that he was not breaking in, and that the shop was his place of business. He further stated that he did not like being accused of criminal activity, being the law abiding citizen that he was.

I informed the suspect, who was feigning innocence, that we had seen him breaking into this place, and that it was not, in fact, his place of business. If it were he would not have used lock picks to enter the shop. The suspect visibly tensed at the statement, but did not give away any other information.

It was then that Officer Wilde recognized the suspect as Larry Waddell, a thief he had…heard of. Waddell, upon hearing his name, dropped all pretenses of politeness and began looking agitated. I then told him he was under arrest. I removed my handcuffs from my belt and advanced on Waddell as my partner maintained distance in case Waddell slipped by me.

The suspect tried to make a dash past me, likely assuming I was an easier target to avoid than my partner. I intercepted his path of escape and subdued the suspect, cuffing him in the process. I began to read him his rights as my partner went back to the patrol car to report the arrest.

Unfortunately, during the struggle that ensued when the suspect attempted to run, he had scraped his elbow against the sidewalk and acquired a very minor injury. It was unavoidable, however, and no fault of my own that this occurred.

I returned to the patrol car with the suspect, whereupon Officer Wilde and I brought him to the station. His wound was treated there and he was processed.

-Officer Judy Hopps

…

The Chief snorted. That hadn't been so bad.

He pulled Wilde's report from the same file. This would probably be bad, however. Deciding not to think about whatever horror was in store for him, he plunged right into the report.

…

From the desk of Officer Wilde, November 30th, Arrest of Larry Waddell

I second whatever Officer Hopps said in her report. We found the suspect, Larry Waddell, attempting to break into a small store that had closed for lunch hour. We apprehended him and he gained a slight cut on his elbow. He was booked for processing.

-Officer Nick Wilde

…

The Chief was slightly confused as he finished the report. It was very brief, which was surprising considering who wrote it, and it was very standard, which was even more surprising considering who wrote it. For a moment Chief Bogo was concerned that the fox was playing at some sort of game, and was currently setting up an elaborate situation to annoy the Chief.

The report itself was actually poorly done. It was not nearly as thorough as the Chief expected his officers to be in detailing the events their arrests and other activities. If this was any other officer report, the Chief would've been furious at the lack of care they put into their work. This was not any officer, though.

As it was, Officer Wilde had set the bar so low on discipline and general officer behavior that this was basically an achievement. All Chief Bogo could say about the situation was, "That's not as bad as I thought it'd be. Huh."

He signed off on the reports and placed both in the approved bin. He smiled slightly as he spoke to himself. "That wasn't bad at all. Strange."

Chief Bogo was happy the rest of the day.

…

"Your report was pretty short today, Nick." Judy said to her partner, as they ate lunch in their patrol car.

"Eh." Nick said. "I just seconded what you said and summarized the situation."

"It was also lacking in your personal…flair." Judy said.

Nick smirked evilly as the words left her mouth. He turned to look at her, his emerald eyes gleaming with mischief and joy. He looked downright ecstatic. Finally, he opened his maw and said to his girlfriend, "Was it now? I just thought it'd be a nice change of pace."

Judy raised an eyebrow at her fox's antics, a smile appearing on her own features. "What are you planning, fox?"

"Oh, just a little fun with our ole' Chief. I think he'll really like this. I thought about it for a while." Said the vulpine, as he took another bite out of his sandwich.

"How are you going to mess with him this time, then?" Judy asked.

"Are you sure you really want know, Carrots?" Nick asked her back. He had his signature smug smirk on.

Judy lifted a paw and placed it on the fox's own, intertwining their hands. She leaned over to her partner and whispered, "Well, we are partners aren't we?"

Nick chuckled as he looked at her. "Alright, Whiskers. I'm going to give him normal reports for a week until he breaks."

"Until he breaks?" Judy echoed quizzically.

"That's right." Nick said with barely concealed mirth in his voice. "I'm going to give him normal reports until he goes nuts."

Judy leaned back from the fox, removing her paw from his. "First off, that's offensive to squirrels, secondly, that's your plan?"

Nick looked surprised at the incredulity in her voice. He was expecting her to think it was a good idea. "Well, yeah. It's a psychological thing. He's going to start wondering what I'm up. It'll drive him up the wall. How are you not getting this, bunny?"

Judy rolled her eyes. "Nick. He's not going to care. It's the Chief. It won't bother him at all."

"You just don't see it, Carrots. After a week he'll be crazed and watching me like a hawk." Nick scoffed at the bunny.

A twinkle appeared in the lagomorph's amethyst eyes. "Do you want to bet on it?"

"Bet?" Nick asked.

"Mhmm. A bet. If after a week he isn't going crazy, you have do one thing of my choice. If he is, I have to do one thing of your choice." Judy looked at the fox expectantly.

Nick looked at her. He didn't like to make bets he wasn't sure he could win, but he also did not want to back down. He smirked smugly and spoke with a confidence he didn't really feel. "Fine. Easiest wager of my life."

The bunny had a devious look in her eyes. "It's a bet." She extended a paw to the vulpine, which he took gingerly.

ONE WEEK LATER

Chief Bogo had never felt happier. He hadn't been annoyed by anything outside the ordinary in nearly a week. It even appeared that Officer Wilde was settling into life as an officer. His recent reports hadn't even needed to cross the Chief's desk for approval.

Bogo walked around, a skip in his step for the first time since he was a wee lad in Essex.

…

"I win. I told you he wouldn't care." The bunny said to her partner as they entered their apartment later that night.

"Fine." Nick replied, annoyed that his plan had not panned out. He had really expected Bogo to be more nervous. How could he not have been? He was a cop! Instead he had just been all…happy. Nick didn't even know he possessed that emotion.

"Do you know what I want you to do?" The bunny asked the fox.

"What do you want?" Nick asked her grouchily. He was not used to losing.

The bunny smiled at the fox before pulling a small book from a nearby bookshelf. She showed the book to her vulpine boyfriend, letting him glance at the cover before she began to turn through the pages.

"The Bunny Sutra, Carrots? You can have me do anything and you just want me to do something I would've done anyways?" Nick eyed her up and down, confused at the situation.

Judy said nothing, turning in the small book until she reached the page she had been searching for. A smile graced her lips as she showed the page in question to Nick. She was going to enjoy this on so many different levels.

Nick Wilde had seen many things in his days as both a con-mammal and an officer of the law. He had seen death, theft, arson, grand theft auto, and even lollygagging. He couldn't keep his eyes from widening at what he saw now, though. "Wha-What is that?"

Judy smiled, pretending not to notice his gaping mouth and horrified expression. "It's called the 'Devil Cruncher.' I wanted to try it."

"What shape are they even in? Where does it start and end?" Nick asked, still unable to control his expressions.

"It's easier if you look at it upside down." Judy said. She flipped the book over and showed it to him again.

"Holy…I'm not sure my spine can bend that way, Carrots." Nick said to his lover.

"That's too bad, because you lost the bet." Judy spoke with finality. She stared down the fox as she slipped out of her police uniform. Nick wouldn't go back on his word. Not to her. She knew that, and so did he.

"Please don't do this." Nick was pleading with the bunny. Any other time Judy would've capitulated, as she found his begging quite endearing. She wouldn't back down here, though. She had earned this.

"You did this to yourself. Now get in the bedroom."

Nick Wilde was known for pushing his luck. Usually he knew when not to push it too far. Today, though, today Nick Wilde had made a mistake. One he was going to pay for.