I didn't return to the house until the sky was lightening with the approach of dawn. I hadn't seen any of the others while I was out killing three unsuspecting homeless people and trying to get the scent of Edgar's blood out of my head.

When I went in, he was in the kitchen, sitting at the breakfast bar and nursing a large mug of coffee. He looked as rough as I would expect. He didn't look up, but colour flooded his face and he hung his head. "What did I do last night?"

"Nothing. You drank and passed out."

"I said some stupid shit."

"I'm surprised you can remember anything. I should think most of it was just in your head," I said, hoping to make him feel better. It seemed to work.

"Yeah? Well, that's good. Some of the stuff I was thinking… you'd have thought I was a dick."

"I don't think you're a dick for missing your family and feeling lonely."

He heaved a sigh of relief. "I suppose it could have been worse. What day is it?"

"Monday."

"Shit. I have to go to school," he groaned. "Sorry about yesterday. I was just sick of being me."

"It'll get better." I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

"You think? It's been a year. I'm a mess. Drinking is the only thing that makes it go away."

"You wouldn't before, but would you consider talking to someone?" I suggested.

"You mean a shrink? Maybe."

"We could find one and see how it goes, if you want?"

"Yeah. All right. I still don't know why you put up with me. You're supposed to want to kill me." He laughed. "And I'm supposed to want to kill you. I haven't hunted since I lost Alan."

"I never wanted to kill you," I said. "I care about you. I just want you to be okay."

He looked up at me, brown eyes full of longing. Then he got up abruptly and went to take a shower. I went to bed and fell asleep before he even finished in the bathroom.

I woke too late to do anything about finding a psychiatrist. Most offices didn't operate in the evenings, but I found a few possibilities in the Yellow Pages and entrusted Michael with calling them the next day. Half vampires could stay awake during the day to a certain extent, and he promised to do it first thing in the morning. He seemed to dislike me less than he had a few months earlier, and Star said he was grudgingly impressed by me taking care of Edgar as well as I could. If only he knew about the thoughts in my head when I smelled his blood.

Michael found a shrink that offered appointments on Saturdays and booked one for Edgar in two weeks' time, the first available slot. Edgar wasn't happy.

"What the fuck is this to do with you?" he demanded of Michael.

"I asked him to call. I can't do it, can I?" I said.

"You could have asked me."

"You said you'd go," I reminded him.

"I said maybe."

"And then you said, "all right." Try it. If you don't like it, we'll review things. But since this first appointment is made, you can go to it."

Edgar opened his mouth again to protest.

"It's not up for negotiation," I added.

"Fuck you. You won't know whether I go or not anyway, since you'll be dead to the world."

"I'll take you to the appointment," Michael told him. "And I'll wait outside for you. You should think yourself lucky you have people watching out for you."

"People!" Edgar snorted.

"Whatever. Don't throw it back in our faces. Don't you know how much Sam worries about you? He misses you."

"I hang out with him."

"But you're grouchy and unpleasant, and you got him drunk twice now."

"Twice?" I groaned.

"He didn't have to drink," Edgar growled. "I didn't fucking force the bottle down his neck."

"The least you can do is go to this appointment," Michael went on. "Like David said, if you don't like it, quit. Give up on yourself and all of us, if you must."

"Fine! I'll go!" Edgar snapped. "If only to keep you fucking bloodsuckers off my back." He stomped off to his room like a sulky child.

Michael glanced at me and raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure you want this responsibility?"

"Too late now." I grinned ruefully. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "If that was Sam, I would hope someone would try to help him."

Edgar went to the appointment. Michael took him and sat in the waiting room while he refused to talk to the shrink for an hour, or so he said. He wouldn't give anything away except to say that he "hadn't said anything" to her, but he didn't fight about the second appointment she'd arranged for him the next week, so I figured it had to have done some good.

Another week passed and there was no drama. When I woke the following Saturday night, Star was in the house to report that Michael was sleeping in after having taken Edgar to the shrink again. Apparently, this time he'd come out growling and swearing about the woman being a nosy bitch that got far too much out of him that he hadn't wanted to say.

I grinned. "Sounds like I'm not throwing my money down the toilet after all."

"You're paying for the shrink?" Star asked.

"Who else is gonna pay? Where is he?"

"I don't know. Since the comic book store was sold, he doesn't seem to know what to do with himself."

"Let's go out," I said. "It was his birthday a couple of weeks ago. No one even knew. Let's do something."

"Are you serious?" Her eyes widened. "And do what?"

"I don't know. When was the last time you went out for dinner? Does Michael take you out on proper dates?"

"No."

"I should have words with him. Where are the others?"

"Dwayne took Laddie to the video store. The others are hunting."

"See if you can round them up and get them back here. Find somewhere we can go and have a meal. I'll find Edgar."

She stared at me, bemused.

"What?"

"You're… not like you. You're too nice lately."

"Make the most of it." I headed for the beach.

Edgar was sitting in his usual spot, but he wasn't accompanied by bottles. Instead, he was reading a comic entitled Vampires Everywhere. I sat down beside him.

"What are you doing? Research?"

"Something like that. It's time I got back to doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Alan wouldn't be pleased to see me hanging out with a bunch of bloodsuckers and not killing any. The place will be overrun."

"We've been taking care of them. Paul and Marko haven't anything better to do right now."

"Well, it should be my job."

"It still can be. How did it go this morning?" I asked.

"Okay, I guess."

"You talked, or so I heard."

"A bit."

"Did you make another appointment?"

"Yes."

"That's good. You want to go out?"

"Huh?" He turned to look at me, eyes wide.

"We're all going out somewhere to eat. Star's choosing a place."

"Oh." His face fell a little. "Sure. That'd be cool, I guess."

"Great. Let's go." I jumped up and he followed me back to the house. Everyone else was there by then, including a very excited Laddie. Going to a proper place to eat was something he'd never done. He went out for burgers with Dwayne, or with Michael and Star often enough, but Star had found a pizza restaurant a few miles up the coast where she'd booked a table, and he was practically jumping up and down.

"I got one of the outdoor tables," she said.

"Good choice." Dwayne grinned. It would be harder for everyone except Edgar, in an enclosed space with hordes of humans.

We rode our bikes to the restaurant, doubling up with Star on Michael's, Laddie on Dwayne's, and Edgar with me. He clung on, arms tight around my waist, face much to close to my ear. Whenever he spoke or whooped and hollered in excitement as we raced along, warm breath brushed my skin and sent a shiver through me. I seemed less able to suppress my thoughts than usual and struggled to keep my fangs retracted.

We spent three hours at the restaurant, stuffing ourselves with pasta and pizza, drinking an assortment of sodas. By silent mutual agreement, Dwayne, Paul and I who were all old enough to drink, decided against beer and drank coke instead. Edgar seemed to enjoy himself, chatting and laughing, with no hint of his usual scowl.

Everyone stayed at the house that night and the next day, with Michael and Star taking their old room, Laddie in his, and Paul bunking in the spare room next to Edgar's. Marko crashed on the couch.

After that, we tried to get together and go out every few weeks. Edgar kept seeing the shrink, and Dwayne and I increased our hunting so we could build up a stash of wallets from our victims to pay for the mounting psychiatrist bills. Edgar didn't know anything about that, and I didn't intend for him to. It was better that he didn't think about what it cost or who was paying. His final exams were looming, and I didn't want anything to fuck things up for him at this late stage. He managed to do that all by himself.

Dwayne had a girlfriend again—one who accepted what he was but wouldn't consider changing. I was tempted to give her a sip from my bottle of blood without her knowing to help him out, but he wouldn't thank me for interfering. Instead, I found a girl myself. I couldn't bring myself to pick up another guy and as reluctant as I was to admit it, it was because every male I looked at wasn't enough. Edgar was probably three or four months away from being eighteen, and the closer he got to it, the less I could prevent myself thinking about him the way I'd told myself I wouldn't. I avoided him as much as I could, which he picked up on very quickly.

"Have I done something wrong?" he asked one Sunday night.

"No. Why would you think that?"

"You're hardly ever here in the evenings." His eyes narrowed. "Actually, it's probably because of that girl you're fucking."

"What do you know about that?"

"Laddie said you had a girlfriend that looks like Madonna."

"She's not my girlfriend," I said, uncomfortable.

"What is she, then? Your next meal?" He sneered. "I thought you were into guys, anyway. Can't you make your mind up?"

"I've always liked both," I admitted.

"Oh, yeah. You had both Michael and Star at once, didn't you?" He ground his teeth. "Laddie said you all used to sleep in the same bed."

"Why are you talking about this?"

"Something my shrink said. "Be honest with the people in your life about how you feel." How do you think I feel when the one who's my—what the hell are you anyway? My guardian? How do you think I feel when my guardian fucks half of Santa Carla and kills the other half?"

"That's not true and you know it."

He shrugged one shoulder. "But you did have Michael and Star together. Then there was a freak called Stevie that dressed up like a girl. There was another one called Leo who disappeared. Did you kill him?"

"No."

"And a few others in between. And now Madonna. Is that what happens when you have an abusive past? You turn into a whore?"

My hand shot out and slapped his face before I could stop myself. The moment my palm made contact with his cheek, I tried to take it back, but it was too late. He flew across the room, hit the wall, and collapsed in a heap on the floor.

"Oh shit. Edgar!" I threw myself towards him, skidding to a halt when he cowered away from me and threw up his arms to protect his head. I lowered myself to my knees, horrified. "Edgar, look at me." I grasped his wrists and pulled his arms away from his face. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Are you hurt?"

He just stared at me, panting, blood racing through his veins. He wasn't bleeding, thank God. I would have smelled it more clearly.

"Edgar, I'm so sorry," I repeated. "I promised never to hurt you. Never to hurt one hair on your head and look what I did."

He licked his lips and swallowed. "I was vile to you."

"Doesn't matter. Nothing you could say or do deserves that. Nothing. It won't happen again." I loosened my grip on his wrists and slid my hands up his arms to his shoulders. "I care about you so much. I hope you know that."

He nodded. "I didn't mean what I said."

"Yeah, you did. I guess you're right in a way. Madonna is history, by the way." I shot him a tentative smile. "She's not what I want."

"Good. Someone like that isn't good enough for you." He returned my smile. Then he pulled away from me, scrambled to his feet, and went up to his room.

I felt guilty about it for days. I hurt him—actually hit him—and it killed me. He didn't seem any different the next day, but it had to have bothered him. He kept out of my way as much as possible, claiming he was in his room studying for his exams. I felt like shit.

As soon as I saw the girl—Shona, her name was—I ended it. She made a huge scene on the boardwalk and Marko came to my rescue. I doubt she saw the next morning, but I didn't ask, and he didn't tell.

As far as I was aware, Edgar went to his exams and should have completed six by the end of the week. But then there was a message on the answer machine from one of Edgar's teachers, assuming he was calling Mrs Frog. How he got the number, I had no idea. Edgar had missed all his exams that week, and in fact had been suspended for drinking and having bottles of vodka and rum in his locker. The school had sent two letters which I hadn't seen. He was banned from school premises except for the times of his exams, which he hadn't bothered to attend.

Angry and worried, I went hunting before I looked for him. Then I spent several hours wandering the beach, the boardwalk, and looking in all the places I thought I might find him, telling myself not to lose my temper. If I hurt him again, I would never forgive myself. I'd have thought his latest downfall was my fault if it hadn't been for the school saying he was suspended ten days earlier.

Eventually, I returned to the house. He hadn't been there when I left, but he could be back by now. The door opened before I could reach for the handle and Dwayne faced me, tense and anxious.

I raised my eyebrows. "What?"

"We have a huge problem."

"Surprise me." I frowned and stepped past him into the house. What had Edgar done now?

"Edgar's drinking."

"I said surprise me."

"David!" He grabbed my arm and halted me in the hallway. "Listen to me. He found the fucking bottle. He's had some of your blood."