Chapter 5: Holidays
Weeks passed and my grades improved. Thanksgiving had come and gone. Christmas was right around the corner as well as mid-term exams. Luckily I wasn't assigned a new roommate and I was able to create my own version of a meditation space under the empty lofted bed. I was able to reach that higher plane of thought more easily and stay there much longer now that I had been practicing on my own. After we returned from Christmas break, Professor Spock was going to teach me how to control my telepathy. He explained that I had to be able to reach the higher plane to be able to build barriers so I wouldn't keep hearing other people's random thoughts and they wouldn't be privy to mine if I accidentally touched someone.
My family was supportive of my learning about my heritage. My Daddy was a little concerned about the Teachings of Surak and if they collided with the teachings of Jesus and Christianity, but once I explained to him how they actually upheld each other's values he didn't object. In fact, he encouraged me to keep it up. The only thing they were concerned about was that I still hadn't made any friends. I told them that I was fine and that not having distractions helped me to focus on my learning.
It was the week before final exams and that meant two weeks until winter break. I had been keeping my nose in my books and studying. My most favorite class, Xenoanthropology, would be the easiest. I knew the material like the back of my hand.
Intro to Vulcan would be difficult, but being that I was putting into practice what I'd been studying in class with Professor Spock made the lessons understandable. Thanks to the Professor helping me out with my time table, I was also able to get my Physical Education grade up. I actually had more time than was required logged in for my phys ed class. Thanks goodness! I didn't want to have to repeat a year just because of that.
Intro to Starfleet was the one that was going to be a pain to study for. I've never been very good with numbers and the final exam is literally, "Code 223 of the Starfleet handbook says what?" There were so many codes, rules, and regulations to remember and Professor Spock was adamant on not just knowing what the handbook says but also where to find things in the handbook.
Botany 101 wouldn't be too awful. I had learned about several species of crops this semester and how best to care for them. I was actually thinking of planting a few of them in my garden back home. Specifically I wanted to try to find a Lullen tree. It stands about 4.5 meters tall and has silver bark with purple leaves. When it was heavy with fruit, the branches would bough low to the ground until the fruit fell off or someone picked it. The fruit it grows is shaped like a terren lemon, but is this deep red color and tastes like cinnamon. One of the things I really liked about Botany this semester was that we were able to taste the crops we were learning about. Lullen fruit was, by far, my favorite of all of the plants we tried.
While talking with my parents during our monthly call, they reminded me that I needed to get Professor Spock a Christmas gift to say thank you for all of the work he's put into helping me. I didn't know if the Professor celebrated Christmas or not, but being that it was a part of my family's tradition, I couldn't ignore it. Trying to figure out an appropriate gift for Professor Spock seemed like it was more difficult than studying for Intro to Starfleet. I finally decided on Vulcan Spiced Tea and a travel mug. Logically, this gift would be appropriate because I had seen him drink it occasionally. It was cold out, so having a hot beverage would be soothing and I knew he didn't have a travel mug but used the to-go cups from the cafeteria.
On Tuesday, after Intro to Vulcan, I saved my study guide on my PADD that I had been adding notes to and slid it in my messenger bag. I donned my Starfleet issued winter coat, grabbed my bag and after everyone left, walked up to Professor Spock who was standing beside his desk.
"Professor Spock?"
"Yes Cadet Davis?" he answered as he put down the PADD he was reading.
"I have a personal question for you."
"You may ask your question." he stated as he placed his hands behind his back.
"Do you celebrate Christmas?"
"As Christmas is a holiday that was celebrated by my mother, I continue to follow her tradition." I saw a flash of pain behind his eyes. Just a moment and then it was gone. I knew that his mother had been lost in the Nero incident.
"Sir, I apologize…"
"Your apology is not necessary."
That was my que to not talk about the subject anymore. "Sir, would it be alright if I gave you a gift? Just something to say 'thank you'? It is a part of my family's customs."
"You may and I would like to reciprocate."
"That is very kind of you Sir, but the one thing I want most is the one thing no one, can give me." I stared at my shoes and thought of my garden back home.
"Cadet, I apologize if I have offend…"
"Oh, Sir, it's okay." I shook my hand and my head at the same time. "But if you ever see a Lullen tree sapling, I've been wanting to plant one in my garden back home. Since they're not in season right now, they're hard to find."
"I will keep that in mind Cadet." he replied with an ever so slight upturn in the corner of his mouth.
I smiled."Thank you, Sir. May I bring you your gift on Saturday?"
"Saturday would be acceptable."
"Yes Sir. Have a pleasant rest of your day."
"You as well Cadet Davis." he told me and then I turned to leave. I had some shopping to do and a gift to wrap.
On my way back to my dorm room, I called for a taxi. While I was waiting, I dropped off my school bag in exchange for a simple black purse that I hardly ever used. I made sure my wallet and ID were in there and then went back out to my waiting ride. I told the driver to go to The Tea House. The Tea House was a small boutique that was owned and operated by an elderly Betazoid woman called Sarai. She always knew just what blend of tea a person needed.
The taxi parked just outside the store and I asked if the driver would wait for me to come back. She nodded and I stepped out into the cold and shuffled into the warm shoppe. There was a smell of cloves and cinnamon, the classic scent of the holidays. The walls to my left and directly in front of me were lined with wooden shelves. To the right was an area for dining and relaxation. Some soft jazzy instrumental music was playing over the sound system. I had been in here many times before and knew exactly where to find what I was looking for. I walked to the back right corner of the store and began to look for Vulcan Spiced tea.
"Hello Dawn." came a voice from behind me.
"Oh! Hi Sarai. I'm looking for Vulcan Spiced tea. I'm not seeing any."
"We actually just ran out of the pre-blended Vulcan Spiced tea. I sense your disappointment. Was it meant to be a gift?"
"Yes, it's for my professor. He's been helping me out a lot and I wanted to repay his kindness." I had blushed at trying to explain what I meant.
"I understand. I can help you create a special blend of tea using other Vulcan spices. I'm guessing your professor is Vulcan?"
"Yes, Professor Spock is Vulcan."
"Yes, I know your professor! He comes in twice a month for a specific blend of tea. Give me an hour and I can have it ready for you." when she smiled at me, it touched her eyes.
"Really Sarai? That would be wonderful, thank you!" I exclaimed. "I have some other shopping to do. I'll be back in an hour."
"Alright. I'll see you then." She patted my shoulder and I went back out to the cab that was waiting for me. I had the driver take me to the closest department store. There I purchased a silver travel mug, gift box and red wrapping paper. After making my purchase, I went back to The Tea House to pick up the special blend of tea Sarai made for me.
"Thank you Sarai." I said as I paid her.
"You're welcome. But I think that the tea isn't going to be the only thing warming your dear Professor this holiday season." she winked at me.
"Oh, Sarai! He's just my professor. Besides, relationships like that aren't allowed between students and teachers." I insisted.
"That doesn't mean that you can't look. I know I do." She smiled and winked at me and my jaw dropped!
I chuckled, shook my head, and thanked her before I left. That ornery old lady. I thought to myself as I got into the cab that took me back to Starfleet. Back in my dorm room, I emptied my shopping bags and wrapped Professor Spock's gift. Then I sat down at my desk and studied for my finals.
The rest of the week seemed to take forever. I was excited to give Professor Spock his gift and practice meditation with him for the last time before the new year. We also had yet to discuss what classes I should take next semester. When Saturday finally came, I was slightly early to the professor's house. I was too excited and although I tried to contain it, I was smiling from ear to ear. I pressed the doorbell and heard a thud and a male voice call out "Spock!" Odd I thought, Is he okay? Just then, the door opened and a perfectly calm professor stepped out.
"Cadet Davis, you are early this morning." he stated plainly.
"I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to be here for another 5 minutes, but I was excited and…" I looked down as he cut me off mid-sentence and promptly placed his hands behind his back.
"Cadet, might I suggest we take a walk to calm your emotions? Exercise does help release excess energy."
"Of course, Sir."
As Professor Spock led the way, he asked me about my family and what our holiday traditions were.
"My family has a huge get-together each Christmas. Our home is very small, so it's really an open invitation to anyone who would like to come. There is no set time for celebrations, except on Christmas Eve when we go to church at 1900 hours. That's when Daddy preaches a candlelight service. When I go home after exams, I'll help my Momma with the cooking, cleaning, and decorating and Daddy and I will chop down the Christmas tree and each spring we plant a new tree in its place." I explained.
"May I ask a personal question?"
"Of course, Professor."
"Why do you not purchase a reusable tree?"
"Sir, I grew up in a humble area. I hope you will not think less of me because of where I'm from."
"I am not sure I understand." he admitted.
"Sir, I am proud to be considered mountain folk. My home is beautiful and full of history, but my community is nothing like you've ever seen."
"Cadet, you misunderstand. Where you come from is no matter. Why would I think less of you when you have never given me a reason? You have performed remarkably in all your courses and you are continuing to improve yourself each day in your practice of Surak's teachings."
"Oh...uh...thank you, Sir." I felt sheepish.
"Thanks are not necessary. I was simply stating fact."
Professor Spock led us back to his home and opened the door. He entered first and I followed. The first thing I saw when I entered his living room was a Christmas tree. It was decorated, well… logically. It had white lights and the red baubles were equally spaced from top to bottom. There was instrumental Christmas music playing and on the view screen was a roaring fire. I heard what could have been an annoyed exhalation escape the Vulcan in front of me, but perhaps I was mistaken.
Realizing I was still holding his gift, I held it out to him, "Professor, Merry Christmas."
"Thank you, Cadet." he said turning and as he took the gift the tips of his fingers brushed against mine. In that simple contact warmth, peace, delight, protection, and love spread through me. I looked into his eyes with confusion on my face.
"Forgive me, Sir. I need to continue studying for finals."
I left him standing holding his gift as I ran back to my dorm. This isn't possible. I kept thinking to myself. As soon as I opened my door, I entered and locked it again. I sat in meditation for the next five hours trying to clear my head. At 1423 hours, I came out of my meditative state and paced my room to get the blood flowing back into my legs. Once I had thought everything through, I knew what I had to do. Logically, I had to confront my professor. I didn't think that I could speak with him directly yet, so I sent him a message.
Professor,
May I come speak with you regarding a personal matter?
Cadet Davis
Almost immediately I received a reply.
Cadet Davis,
I am available in my office at 1630. I will see you then.
Professor Spock
Well, that gave me just about two hours to figure out exactly what I wanted to say to him.
Nervously, I approached Professor Spock's office door and knocked.
"Enter!" I heard him call from the other side. I did so and was greeted with a formal "hello" and an offer to sit opposite him. As I did, I placed my hands in my lap and looked him in the face.
"Sir." "Cadet" We both spoke at once. I smiled and looked at my hands and sighed.
"Cadet, you may speak first."
"Thank you, Sir. Professor, what happened in your home earlier today? I feel like I should know what it means, but I am confused."
"Cadet, what happened was inappropriate. Relationships between students and teachers is strictly against Starfleet policy."
"Excuse me, Sir. Those emotions were not mine and for you to even suggest that they were is an insult to both of us."
"Cadet, you misunderstand. I was not implying that the emotions you experienced were yours. They were entirely mine. I was simply stating regulation for both our benefit."
"Sir, I am still confused as to what happened and why you haven't given me a straight answer."
"Cadet Davis, you are correct. No matter what happens now, I can not be anything but completely honest with you. The understanding you are searching for is the word t'hy'la."
"T'hy'la." I said the word back slowly trying it out. "Professor"
"I would ask that you call me Spock when we are alone."
"Spock," it felt odd addressing him so familiarly. I felt too vulnerable so I stood and began pacing the room until I could form a coherent thought. "I would like for you to understand something."
Spock stood to meet me and I placed my hands behind my back. "What is it you wish me to know?"
"I'm not ready for any sort of romantic relationship. I don't even have a friend on campus. Spock, there is so much about me that you don't know and to be able to trust someone so completely scares the living daylights out of me!"
"Cadet." Spock took as step closer to me and stopped.
"Call me Dawn, please." I insisted. Dawn? No one calls me that except my family. Why did I just say that?
"Dawn. Have I ever given you a reason to fear me?"
"No, never."
"I implore you, do not fear me now."
"Spock, why me? I'm nothing more than a freaky country hick."
"That is a lie Dawn. Do not repeat what others have said about you. May I show you what I know to be true?"
"How?"
"Through a mind meld." he told me as he reached out his hand.
"No." I stated firmly and took a generous step back away from him.
"May I ask why?" Hurt flashed in his eyes and I felt terrible making him feel that way, but he had to understand that I didn't like being touched.
"Spock, did you not understand when I said I'm not ready for a relationship and that there were things about me that I couldn't trust with anyone else?"
"You are correct, I do not fully understand." he calmly admitted.
I sighed, sat back down, and put my head in my hands. I didn't want to have to go here. I didn't want to have to reveal my past to anyone. I spoke my next words carefully while staring at the floor.
"Spock, I do not like being touched by men. My body has been through hell and high water and I barely came out alive. No, I don't mean that figuratively." I heard a soft but audible growl and I raised my head in alert motion. Spock must have seen the fear his growl produced in me because at once his face softened and he sat on the floor at my feet.
"Dawn, I apologize for frightening you. It is rare for a Vulcan to find their t'hy'la. When this happens, they become extremely protective. To think of you being hurt in such a fashion caused the reaction you witnessed. Dawn, we can travel this relationship as slow as you wish, but now that we know of each other, I will not let you be put in that situation ever again."
Spock's voice was calm and soothing. It was something I didn't expect.
"Nemaiyo" I thanked him in Vulcan
"Goh sanoyaling t'hy'la.." he whispered. (I am pleased to do it, beloved.)
I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. "I reckon this means you'll be coming home with me for Christmas?" I asked timidly.
"Although I do wish to accompany you, your family does not yet know of what has transpired. It would be best to tell them over break. I do insist you converse with me at least once a day."
"Spock, that will be near impossible in the mountains of West Virginia. It's hard enough to speak with my family once a month as it is." I could see he was growing impatient.
"Then I have no choice but to travel with you." he stated plainly.
"Spock, you really don't have to. I'll be back at the start of the semester. I'll be with my Daddy and Momma the whole break. I will write to you as often as I can. It's only two weeks. Besides, winter in Bluefield is brutal to outsiders.
"Dawnaka, that will not be possible. I do understand your concern and I do not wish to dishonor you or your family. Is there lodging available near your home?"
"There are hotels in town, but I don't live in town. Well, this a mighty fine peck of trouble we're in. If we weren't meant to be together, my family would've taken you in, but since that's not the case…"
Spock shook his head, "We will make this work." he assured me. "For our relationship to grow, we must work together and find a solution."
"Would you consider staying in town until I talked with my family?"
"That would be a logical solution. However, I insist that I take you home before I go to the hotel."
"I think that would work out just fine." I smiled at him.
"Come with me." he said as he got up. "I still have your Christmas gift at my home."
"Alright" I said quietly and walked behind him.
"T'hy'la, you are my equal. Walk beside me." He gestured to his right. "I believe that it is said in your faith that 'Woman was not created from the head of man to overpower him, or his foot to crush her; but from his side, to be his equal, close to his heart to be cherished, and under his arm so she would be protected."
"Spock, have you studied Christianity?"
"I have not studied the religion extensively, but it has gained my interest since you had mentioned the teachings of Surak and your faith are similar in some ways."
As we made our way back to his home, we talked about the ways the teachings of Surak and the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth were similar. He opened the door for me and asked me to sit at the table. His home smelled wonderful. He had prepared an end meal of m'lu and plomeek soup. After eating in silence and then washing the dishes, we convened in the living room.
With the fire crackling on the screen and soft holiday music playing in the background. we sat on the couch and conversed about many things - work, school, family. It was still hard for him to talk about his mother, but I could tell from how he spoke about her that he cared for her dearly and missed her something fierce. Christmas must have been bittersweet for him, just as it was for me.
"Would you be interested in the location of your biological parents?" Spock asked at one point in the conversation.
"If that question would have been posed to me when I was a youngin, I would've said 'yes'. However, my birth parents left a note when they left me on the steps of the church where my Daddy preaches. The note said that I was a product of Pon Far and in either society I would've been an embarrassment. Neither of them took the responsibility of parent and that's just fine with me." I explained.
"Fine' has varying definitions. 'Fine' is not acceptable." came the reply.
"Spock, I have no desire to know my biological parents. I am content with my Momma and Daddy and the rest of my family. Although society on Earth hasn't completely accepted me, my family does and I am loved perfectly by God. Spock, not always is family related by blood."
"I understand t'hy'la. I trust I did not cause you any discomfort by asking about this."
"Oh, of course not. I've been asked that question so many times in my life, answering it is no problem for me anymore." I insisted.
"I do have another personal question, if I may ask it?"
I nodded in the affirmative.
"The words, 'Daddy' and 'Momma' I understand these terms to be used by small terren children, but you are no longer a child."
I chuckled at that, "That's just part of my culture. You'll find I say a lot of things that aren't usual 'round here, or anywhere else for that matter. I'll have to remember to define these words if I use them in our talks."
"That would be helpful, I must admit." he nodded. "It is getting late, you need rest. I will accompany your back to your dorm."
"Thank you, Spock."
"Thanks are not necessary. It is what is expected." Spock stated as a matter of fact.
On the way back to my dorm, he told me about how he had contacted the head of Starfleet Academy and was granted permission for our relationship to continue. I had told him that I was worried about that. As I opened my door, he bid me, "Rom-mu-yor t'nash-veh Dawn."
"Good night, Spock." I said with a smile as I stepped through the entryway. He bowed his head, turned, and left. I sprinted back to my room. Once inside, I near melted in puddle on the floor. Oh, when that man spoke Vulcan! I had never in my life heard anyone in any language so calm and gentle as Spock when he spoke Vulcan. That night, I went to sleep with a smile on my face.