To not come to terms

He stood alone because he was the one that lasted.

Alone he was in fact, because he was the sole survivor of his own journey.

From the day of his first deployment , Reach, the pillar of Autumn, Earth and his return. Each mission started with someone and each turnout left him with no one.

And now the greatest adjustment in his life was coping without that one voice of life, that went her way for him, there was no voice, no ghost in the shell. Nothing remained of Cortana save the goodbye in his memory.

'Can I join you, sir?'

John didn't catch the voice at first, he was slow to respond, mired deep in his own personal loss, it wasn't uncommon for other staff having to address him twice and was something that had not gone unnoticed but despite the initial delay John did recognize the voice. It was a voice that came from what he regarded as his inner circle of comradeship.

'Fred' John said with a nod of recognition from one spartan to the other, both same generation, their posture and look was also casual. Being helmetless was as casual a Spartan II ever got, even when in a group they called "blue team"

The team was arguably the only group that knew the faces of each other but that none of outside knew save the occasional specialized teams tailored to support or other roles for a spartan. Even then the number that could understand the enigma of John himself was smaller, with Fred being that rarity who knew John without the immersion of gear that made him the fabled "Master Chief" but his history.

'It's been a long time' Added John.

'About blue team, or when we danced round with knives?'

'Tango turned brown and yellow when they saw that' Chuckled john albeit the humour felt rough, the stoic style was to make a dry remark passively, and briefly instead he delved into a more emotional tone, something Fred knew, they did share the same history and training, especially the "war" games with Tango who were tasked to beat kids.

Tango were rejects, failures and dirty fighters all round who ultimately couldn't beat some kids, even when the kids were Spartan II's. It must have wounded their pride to have to resort to spying on them to try and gain an advantage, but Fred and John were both aware of that on one occasion, useing it to showcase how they would greet each other. With knives.

The real cutters, nothing smuggled from canteen or improvised little pokers, in their younger days John and Fred played with the real ones. Circling the other at first with side face of the blade pressing the other cheek. Daring and building the thrill of battle within before they moved round testing their reflexes and savour their prowess. They trusted their skill, expecting the other to be a challenge with an instinctive trust to their own internal reflexes to parry and counter the other. Cold steel clashed with cold steel, feets moved round kicking dust at the other trying to catch the other off guard, attempt to strike came as did the parry, fast aggressive, full of bravado and daring. It was how they warmed their adrenaline for battle. And to let Tango know what they were in for.

And even if tango weren't watching they would had done it anyway, it was an uncommon practice with the two having different reasons for doing so, more so for John. He was different, he had a natural edge to be ahead from academic to physical competition. He carried a stronger fire, people often forget that a strong fire has to burn and often many challenges were too much a burn to handle but John had a taste for it and yet wasn't so consumed to be deluded. Regardless he had a taste for battle in his own way.

In comparison Fred often took on John's fire head on so as to observe, understand and to match John to gain the respect of each other while John wanted to push himself, Fred wanted to temper it, he wouldn't fight adversity for the sake alone but by seeing how long he can fare against it, only on the face of bravado did they appear alike but within their own agenda set their own personas and ideas.

Over time their personas matured and became more refined, serious, unafraid and unhesitant by their own drive, against the storm of war. Even when others back down, they would not. Sometimes that made Fred contemplate what did that make everyone else? What did it make the II's to the IV generation? Despite the many different classes and structures that made the "territory" of the UNSC, the "II" project was one where the children must stand out to all others, they had become a tribe, independent in value, their thinking, strength and nature was not in line nor equal to everyone else. It was how they were meant to be, to be more then the whole that felt increasingly lonely. Which was why the nature of Blue team evolved from a team of mutual combatants to a close kit of comradeship, the last belonging to a generation that was, inevitably, sailing towards it's end time.

Fred, along with two other compatriots, Linda and kelly were a comradeship and what they fought wasn't necessary for earth or their conditioning to orders it was because they were spartans, their cause was the objective because it tested and defined them as who they were, and John was no different, but that was in the past. The truth was that it had been a while where John took the destiny of the lone wolf, saving the earth, facing the flood and being MIA only to come back after all that time and lose the only one that wasn't a spartan that gave him company. It was why Blue team was assigned to the Infinity , John was now integral to their operations, the most decorated and proven solider connected with the most frontline and advanced warship made sense as was the decision to reunite him with his old team.

Did command expect success followed by success? Yes but they weren't ignorant either, besides the reintroduction it was feared John was becoming isolated, there was always a dependence in the past when by himself but now Cortana was gone and there was a fear he was facing a test he didn't fully know how to deal with.

'It has been too long, Linda and Kelly have been asking about you too. Were mostly stationed at east wing'

'I'll visit'

'We have some tag gear, laser sight if want to go a round?'

'...Were you sent here?'

'Pretty much, but only because they at the top told us you were alive, they also said' He treaded his tone carefully. 'What happened to Cortana. I'm sorry. We wouldn't come to you out of orders, you know that. We come because you're one of us.'

'Thanks, but I'll be ok' came the insistence 'I just need to adjust accordingly. I am of my word...I'll visit when I'm ready.

There was an charistic pause, fred pretended he didn't notice but John abruptness felt like he was just interrupted by someone, in a silent room with one stoic and one slightly less stoic spartan didn't leave many candidates to interrupt. Fred did observe quickly that's john's direction of stare was to the helmet of his table, or it be it the back with a insertion chip missing. It was a silent observation and he said nothing as John carried on an act that he didn't hear anything, or anyone.

'We had a look round the infinity' Added Fred, playing along and away from what had occurred. it's not bad in size, we'll cover some operations, you're up for reconnaissance, give us a chance to stretch our legs on your behalf.'

Fred partly suspected that John knew the infinity's captain probably already approved of this and this was a formal telling to the John to have an unofficial break, and to perhaps confront something he may have been buffering himself from by attending every mission presented, he looked carefully without being noted at what John was thinking, he was a hard man ro read but he could see the tell tale signs of a man reluctant to sit back and think of what he was left with.

'I-'

There was a chance John would accept the offer but the chance he did would never be known for certain with an alarm beeping in the room next to a comm-screen, the flashing was a several second notification as Lasky, captain of the Infinity spoke from the bridge.

'Gentlemen, we have a call' His face was serious and was clear he got the worst of the news. 'We have a Echo A-rank request. Lieutenant Frederic, I wanted to give blue team something small as you only just arrived, but it looks like you're going to be sent to the deep end.'

'Nothing we Spartans can't handle, Sir' There was a slight move in the direction of the ship, despite how advanced it was he could feel the move and knew the slipstream would kick in within seconds.

'All I have is that a base is calling on for reinforcements, they're expecting incoming casualties and need support, medical and firepower. Blue team is to be ready for immediate action, a briefing will be ready in dock 4.'

'Got it'

Fred spun round in hearing John, only to see doors closing behind.

He looked at the table to see the helmet was no longer there, Echo A-rank was a top request, but it was also the excuse and immersion John needed to be the Master Chief, and to not come to terms.

AN: This wasn't an easy chapter to write as one of the challenges was adding blue team and establishing history, given in halo 5 blue team just came out of the, well, blue.

I be straight up to say that Fred and John "practicing" with knives never happened in lore, however this has happened with a unspecified military group during the ground build up to the Iraq ground invasion where the autobiography said the group it's based on would get themselves pumped up by trying this, they were a special forces group that prided on standing out.

However I think it's one of the better examples i can find that explains their violent character. For example there's a video on the net titled "Spartans vs ODST" and likely still on youtube there you have John who (after doing weights) takes off a pin before a group comes, so one guy nearly gets hurt and he turn nearly kills them (Yes i know elbowing john as he left was provocative but that was to gloss over what he did first was extremely dangerous and that the guys didn't know it till after weights fell)

Now I can write up flashback to the gym scene but personally I think adapting the knife idea showcases John's vicious side better. (and John is vicious, he matured later on but he is well tuned in his fighting and efficient because of it) it also helps add history between John and Fred and how their different. Ultimately the Spartans were made to be "humanity's hope" but in military context meaning they were super weapons. Given I'm treating this as just after 4 and before 5 in the games there are certain parts I'm challenged with and that's introducing blue team as well as the MC and the aftermath of Cortana.

Also on research "Tango" did exist and were to test the Spartans and I know the spartans were young but I don't think anyone will let Tango forget they lost to kids, the military IS a very testosterone environment, honour, respect and bravado is there in spades.