English is not my first language. Please bear with grammatical errors.

Disclaimer: I don't own GS/GSD.

Season of Farewell

Chapter 1: Cagalli's Choice

Now everything is decided for the sport festival, and I'm really excited! I hope our team is going to win. My team didn't win in both my freshman year and junior year, and I really, really want to win this year.

Cagalli stopped her mechanical pencil and smiled a little. Her excitement about the sport festival was high, and she was sure that she was going to enjoy the day no matter what the result would be. Though her desire to win she had just expressed was genuine.

During Homeroom in the last period today, it had been decided who took part in which game. As the representative of her class in the Sport Festival Planning Committee, she had taken charge of the discussion in her class with the help of the class president and the vice-president.

Last two years, she had not joined the planning committee. She had been more interested in participating in the games than organizing the event, though she had joined the School Festival Planning Committee three years in a row. However, she wanted to enjoy her last year of high school to its fullest, and had thought she would try for the Sport Festival Planning Committee as well this year. And she was glad about her decision. The job had been helping her see the event from a new angle, and she liked it. She couldn't wait to see the event's success.

As she gripped her pencil to resume writing, someone sat in a chair in front of her desk. She glanced forward to find her boyfriend.

"Hey. It'll take a bit." She motioned toward the journal she was writing. She was on day duty today, and writing the class journal while the other student on duty was taking care of the blackboard: cleaning up its surface and writing down tomorrow's date and the names of students on duty tomorrow. "You can go ahead. I'll catch up with you." She and Athrun were going to have a study session with Kira and their friends in the school library.

He shook his head. "No, I'll wait." Then he added, "Don't worry about me, though. Take your time."

"Okay." She appreciatively smiled at him. Aside from the lunchtime, they recently had not had much time to talk, and she was happy that he had chosen to spend some time with her instead of studying.

"How was your Homeroom?" she asked, writing down today's schedule on the journal. "Did it go smoothly?"

"Not exactly. There were some quarrels. But nothing we couldn't handle."

Athrun was the president of his class. In fact, he had served as a class president all his high school life even though he had never run for the position. Someone had always recommended him, which wasn't surprising, considering that he was a hard worker and a responsible person, not to mention a model student.

"Which games are you going to take part in?" she asked again, her eyes on the journal.

"Why do you think I'm going to participate in anything other than the mandatory ones?" he asked back in a joking tone.

"Because you are too good at sports not to," she said matter-of-factly, raising an eyebrow at him. "I'm sure your classmates asked you to join a couple, or more. I would. So spill. Keeping secrets won't be in your best interest," she warned.

Looking like he wanted to roll his eyes, he opened his mouth. "Well, aside from the Club Relays and the mandatory games, I'm a member of the Swedish Relays and the Team Relay."

"I'm a member of the Team Relay, too!" She leaned toward him in excitement, but then, pulled away to make her battle face and say sternly, "We are enemies then." She pointed her pencil at him challengingly. "And I tell you. We, the White Team, are going to be the winner."

The Team Relay, in which members of all grades—freshmen, juniors, and seniors—from a team worked against those from other teams, was one of the most important games in the sport festival. Its result would have a big impact on the final result of the festival. She had every intention of winning in both.

He quirked a corner of his lips in a daring smile. "We'll see."

She lifted her chin and stretched her back and her neck, trying to stare down at him. In her attempt, she angled her desk a bit and the journal threatened to fall.

"Oh."

Her hand succeeded in preventing the fall, but a paper slipped from under the journal to flutter to the floor. Holding the journal with one hand, she stretched out the other for the paper. But the paper slid away as if escaping her hand to pass through under Athrun's legs. His hand stopped the paper on the other side of his legs and picked it up.

"Thanks." She held out her hand toward him.

But he wasn't handing the paper to her, his eyes staring at it. She tilted her head and was about to call his name when he spoke.

"Your first choice is Tassil University?" His voice was oddly flat. His eyes were still on the paper, her college choice report form.

Murrue Ramius, her homeroom teacher, had distributed the forms at the end of Homeroom; Cagalli had filled it right away and left it on her desk.

She blinked, then understanding dawned on her. "Right. I haven't told you about it."

Since school had begun nearly two weeks ago, they had been busy with after-break exams and the preparation for the sport festival. Plus, she had made the decision only a couple of days ago; only her family—her mother, brother, and grandfather to be exact—knew that she had changed her choice of college.

She had meant to tell Athrun, but Kira had suggested it was better if she told Athrun in person. She had agreed for she was aware that her boyfriend was a worrywart and thought reassuring him would be a lot easier when they were talking face-to-face. So she had postponed telling him about the change, then forgotten about it.

"That's where Professor Ashman teaches," she explained. "You remember Professor Saib Ashman, right? Grandpa's friend whose lab I went to see in summer. I told you a lot about him."

Saib Ashman was a veterinarian who had worked for Veterinarians Without Borders for years before he turned to teaching. She had been quite excited when her grandfather had asked his old friend a favor and arranged for her to spend two weeks in Tassil during summer break. She had stayed at the professor's home and accompanied him to his workplace to look around the university, especially veterinary labs and facilities including the university animal hospital.

It had been a great opportunity. She had taken part in summer programs for high school students offered by colleges of veterinary medicine before, but during the stay with the Ashmans, she had been able to look deeper into the life of a veterinary student. The students studying under the professor had been kind, answering her questions and showing her around. She had heard many interesting and exciting stories from both the professor and the students.

"I remember that. But I thought..." Athrun trailed off as if searching for words, and after a moment, resumed speaking. "I thought you were excited you could see how your college life would be. I didn't know you wanted to go to Tassil."

She thought a little. "It was mostly like that at that time. But as you know, I've been talking with Professor Ashman via e-mail since then, and he is such a great guy who has done many awesome things. I really admire him. And he says he's happy to have me as his student. He also says, Tassil is good for veterinary students since there are many animals in the area, both wild and domestic, including unique ones, and so, we can have a rich experience of engaging with animals."

She finished her explanation with an excited smile still on her face, then tilted her head. Her boyfriend had an odd face, one she couldn't quite place. He didn't seem just surprised. More like...stricken, or bewildered?

"Athrun?"

"Ah...yes, that sounds great," he said absent-mindedly.

She was confused, but decided to wait a little since he seemed to be gathering his thoughts. While she was at it, her partner for the day came to her desk.

"I'm done. Do you mind if I go home?"

"Go ahead. I'll hand in the journal."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

She waved a hand at the boy, then looked back at Athrun who finally opened his mouth.

"You know, Tassil is far," he quietly said. "It's about four hours by plane, right?"

"Yeah." She sighed. "I'll probably become lonely at first." Although she would be happy to study under Ashman, it didn't mean she was eager to leave behind her family and friends. Especially Athrun. "But I believe I can do it." She put on a smile. "Professor Ashman says I can think of his home as my home in Tassil and visit them whenever I like. His family is nice and I made friends with his kids, Yaroo and Nene. Maybe I can even tutor them, like you. I remember Mrs. Ashman saying she might get a tutor for them." The professor's warm offer and the fact that she already had familiar faces in Tassil had quite encouraged her in making the decision.

"And we can do video chats and I'm coming back during breaks," she continued. "Since most of us are going to different colleges anyway, it probably wouldn't be so different from if I went to a college around here."

"I guess..." Athrun had an ambiguous face, looking like he wanted to say something but he wasn't sure how. She opened her mouth to question him.

"Hibiki!"

Her eyes were drawn to a door to the corridor. A classmate of hers was poking his head out of the door. "Ms. Simmons wants you to come to the science faculty room."

"Thanks!" she yelled back, then wondered about why the biology teacher was summoning her. "Ah, I think it's about the excellent study guide she told me about. She said she'd lent it to me for a while so I can see if it fits me," she said to Athrun, then quickly finished the journal.

The journal in her hand, she stood up. "I'm going to hand this in and see Ms. Erica. I'll be back in a minute."

He nodded. She hurriedly left the room.

Although his eyes followed her back disappearing into the corridor, Athrun's mind was on her words, her decision, her choice.

Unconsciously, he loosened his neck tie so that he could breathe better, then unfastened the top button of his shirt even though he always wore his uniform properly. But it didn't really make him feel better, which wasn't surprising since there was nothing wrong with him physically. He knew this bad feeling—as if he had swallowed a huge rock, or eaten something extraordinarily bitter—came from a shock.

When Cagalli had accepted his feelings last winter, he had thought that finally, she was his and that he wouldn't have to feel as much fear of losing her. And yet, now she was leaving him, slipping out of his arms to fly toward a far, far place, so full of excitement for the new adventure, without even one glance back at him.

No. He forcefully shook his head. This wasn't the same as losing her. It wasn't like she was breaking up with him. She clearly had no such intention. And he had to keep it that way. He had to make sure such an idea wouldn't even cross her mind, much less get considered.

He clenched his hands into fists, trying to chase away the heaviness sinking his heart down. He couldn't risk showing the displeasure. He should be understanding and supportive. That must be how a good boyfriend should be, and clearly, that was how she was expecting him to be.

And it wasn't like he couldn't understand her at all, right? Their dreams weren't so different. She wanted to be an animal doctor while he wanted to be a human doctor.

She loved animals and wanted to take care of them, cure them and save their lives. He himself wasn't exactly an animal lover, except the dog his grandparents had had when he was little, perhaps. But he knew her love.

He remembered her puffy eyes and grieving face from when her friend's dog she had known and loved since childhood had died. It had been weeks before summer break in their freshmen year. He had not known how to comfort her and only sent worried looks to her while Kira and her other friends comforted her, partly because he had not been as close to her and partly because he was never good at words or comforting people.

She was a compassionate person who tried to do everything she could for those she loved. And she loved with passion if the incident was any indication. Kira had told him about how she was spending a long time at the friend's house taking care of the sick dog along with the family before the dog finally left this universe.

The dog's death had probably affected her choice of career to an extent, like his mother's death had affected his choice to become a doctor. And she must want to be the best possible doctor like he wanted to be the best doctor, and believe that learning in Tassil University was the way. It was a decision based on her noble desire to save lives, and he should respect that. It was the right thing to do.

As he reasoned himself, Cagalli came back. She trotted toward him to hold out a hand.

"Do you want a candy? Ms. Murrue gave me these." On her palm were two orange candies. Judging from the way she was talking, she was licking one.

Putting her college choice report form back on her desk, he studied the candies. "What are they?"

"Pepper candies."

His eyes narrowed on reflex and he shook his head. "I'll pass." He could eat hot food, but wasn't eager to eat it all the time like her.

"They aren't that hot, I promise," she cajoled. "Ms. Murrue said, she can eat them even though she doesn't like hot food much. And that they are good when you're working or studying since they keep you awake."

"Maybe later," he said evasively, slightly blaming Cagalli's homeroom teacher for putting an idea into his girlfriend's head, "when I feel sleepy."

Cagalli pouted. "Fine, but I don't guarantee you there will still be one." She held the candies in front of her chest as if protecting them from him, which was just fine by him. "They may be all gone by then, and that's your loss. A great loss."

He shrugged. "I believe I can live with it."

"You seriously lack a spirit of adventure," she complained as she pocketed the candies and put a study guide in her other hand into her backpack. "We need to start working on it sometime soon." She picked up her college choice report form and started to pack her stuff.

"I don't think I need a personality change. You are too biased to judge me objectively," he quipped, standing up. "If you are leaning toward one end too much, you can't see people around the center—who are neutral or balanced—as they are. You think they are too close to the other end and deem them biased."

Her eyebrow quirked as they left the classroom and headed for the school library. "You are aware the same thing can be said about you, huh?"

She actually had a point, which he had not seen, and he couldn't come up with any retort. So he just lifted his shoulders.

She smugly grinned with a bounce in her step. He sent her a sidelong look with narrowed eyes, searching his mind for a way to regain his honor.

"Hey, what was that you wanted to say before, by the way?"

He looked at her, puzzled. "Pardon?"

"Before I left, you looked like you wanted to say something," she explained. "About Tassil Uni? You have more questions, don't you?"

"Ah...I was just..." He groped for a plausible reason, something not entirely false. "...worried about your life in Tassil. And since you are changing your choice at this time, are you sure you will be prepared for the entrance exam in time? You'll need to study harder," he added, partly hoping that pointing it out would make her reconsider her decision.

Her face softened, and she hugged his arm to place her head on his shoulder. "You're such a worrywart," she said teasingly, but with great affection.

He softened his face as well. Yes, it had been the right answer. This was the right decision.

"To lessen your worry," she continued, "I need to make some adjustments of course, but nothing big. Well, at least as far as I know. I still have to discuss it with Ms. Murrue, but I'm sure I can make it." After a pause, she teasingly added, "I had exactly the same conversation with Mom."

"Well, you know what they say about great minds," he retorted.

"Which also applies to worrying minds, apparently," she teased again.

"Is your mother all right about your going to Tassil?" he asked, keeping his tone casual.

"She wasn't thrilled about the idea. Surprised and concerned. But fine in the end. I think it helped the Ashmans would be there for me if something should happen. She met them before and Professor Ashman is friends with Grandpa. She trusts them."

He masked his disappointment. "I see..."

A short sound came and she straightened away from him, looking down at her skirt and pushing a hand into the skirt pocket. A faint crease appeared between his brows as he watched her fish out her phone. Although the distance between them was just a little and she was still holding his arm, he felt an urge to pull her back. His arm snaked around her waist and gathered her body against his nonchalantly but firmly.

"Ooh, I have to watch it," she said, seemingly unaware of his attempt.

"Watch what?"

"My friend just told me Rondo Mina plays a supporting role in the newest episode of Junk Guilders. It's a TV show. Sci...ence fantasy? I think," she explained, seeing his puzzled expression. He nodded, aware that the actress was Cagalli's favorite.

"I haven't been checking the show and would've probably missed it," she said, seemingly typing a reply. She appeared to proceed to go on the Internet. After a little, she drew her eyebrows together. "Hmm..."

"Is there a problem?" he asked, his arm still pressing their bodies together.

"Yeah, the episode is on air tonight, but I have classes in cram school and can't get home by the time it starts. My mom is at work tonight and Kira has classes in cram school too," she explained, her lips pursed in a thoughtful twist. "Maybe I'll leave early and stop by at my home to set up the timer on my way to cram school."

"Can't you watch the episode on the network's website or somewhere later?" he suggested.

"Perhaps. But I want to record it in case I love it."

"What time is the show?"

"From nine."

"Then I can record it and burn it to a DVD for you."

Her face lit up. "Will you?"

"Sure. I'll be at home by then. I don't have to go to cram school today."

"Thank you!"

She gave him an excited hug before relaying to him information about the show she found on the Internet. He didn't think he needed to know more than the show's title to record the program, but listened to her nonetheless, securing her against him again.

Maybe he would watch the TV show himself so that they could discuss it. He wouldn't normally do it unless she recommended one, assuring him it was worth watching. But being able to share her opinion on the show with him, whether it was a good one or a bad one, would hopefully make her appreciate having him more. And now, he felt eager to jump at every chance for that, every chance to make her more reluctant to leave him even if she considered the idea.

Fantasy was far from his favorite genre and the premise of the show didn't sound so interesting, except that they might have some good robots or machines. He wasn't really a fan of the actress in question, either. So the show would be likely to end up boring him. But it wasn't much of a trouble and he was willing to pay much more cost than that to make Cagalli stay with him.

Giving nods to her, he drew her even closer and wished he would never have to let go. He consoled himself that she was here now at least, but it couldn't erase an empty hollow deep inside his chest.

A/N: Just in case, Tassil in this fic isn't a town in a desert, though there is a desert nearby. It's more like a city in a rural area richly endowed with nature.

*posted 01/19/19*

*edited 01/19/21*