Damn John Silver just keeps digging a deeper hole! xD

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"Do you love me John?"

Tis a very simple question, but it still shocked me senseless. T'ere she sat on that railing in my arms, hands on me chest like they belonged there. Hell nothin' felt more right than havin' her wit me in t'at crows nest. Tell her t'e truth. Just say it. But all I could do was just stand t'ere. I wanted more than anyt'ing to tell her I did love her, t'at after only knowin' her for not even a week I was crazy over her. But, t'e words just wouldn't come out.

I knew havin' that bottle of gin to calm down was a bad idea. All of a sudden I felt her pushin' me away, tryin' to stand on her own two feet. "Now wait a minute lass let me explain-" Her head was down but I could tell t'at tears were startin' to fall.

"No, there isn't anything to explain." She was startin' to put up a wall. "Just forget I said anything." Before I could grab her she had lept over the side, holdin' on to a rope that was secured on t'e inside of the crows nest and slid all t'e way down to t'e deck. Damn it Jim, why'd ya have to teach her every trick of yers.

Grabbin' a rope of my own I went after her. As soon as I touched t'e deck she was walkin' away, so I grabbed her and spun her 'round to me. "I need ya to just listen lass."

"You didn't have anything to say a minute ago, now why all of a sudden do you want to talk?" She glared at me like an angry solar flare.

I pushed her against the railing and held her face in my hands. By gods she was going to listen to my explanation. Right away she started cryin' again, "John, just forget it. It was a mistake for me to even ask you that."

"Damn it Ana will you just listen to me?!" My tone immediately got her attention, I could tell t'at she was afraid at what I had to say. The words t'at came out were ones t'at came from my soul, and at that very moment my idiotic self didn't give a damn if anyone else heard me. I just had to make sure Ana knew my reasoning behind my not willing to answer. "I never said I didn't- you know."

"You didn't what?"

"Don't make me say it here and you know why." I pleaded looking around. When her look softened, I continued. "I'm not good at this." I motioned between us, "I've had an entire bottle of gin, me mind is clouded wit' exhaustion and t'e only words that can come out of my mouth are all t'e wrong ones it seems. This isn't somethin' I want to screw up."

She was back down lookin' at the ground. Dammit woman look at me when I'm talkin' to you. I forced her to meet my gaze again, pain grippin my heart as I whispered the next few words. "You and I know that this can never end t'e way we want it to. If I told ya what I was really feelin' then I'd be stringin' you along and I refuse to hurt ya in t'at kind of way. You deserve t'e best of men, someone alot better t'an me." I sighed, my own head hanging down.

"John, I didn't ask if I could marry you. I just needed to know." she whispered back.

When I looked back at her there were no more tears, just curious observation and her chewin' on that damn lip again. See, now you're runnin yer mouth as much as she is. I ran my hand over my bandana and down my neck. "Look I'll make a deal with ya. We keep it easy with the serious talks and just focus on our time together. Then, at the end of yer trip we can have a serious sit down. Sound good?"

She held my hand, smiled wide, and kissed me on the cheek before I could stop her. Like you really would've stopped her. "Sounds fair." She whispered. After a few moments she muttered "Good night John.", half pulling my hand with her as she walked to my state room before letting me go. It took everyt'ing in me to not follow her back to my state room, especially wit' the glances she kept throwin my way. Don't even t'ink about goin' there.

Before I did somethin' I would later regret, I climbed back up in the crow's nest to finish out me watch. One t'ing I needed right now was solitude and a smoke to calm these snarky nerves. It wasn't too long before the next night watch came to relieve me, but I already knew sleep was goin' to escape me tonight. Again. Maybe if I just go lay down then I'll just fall asleep. It was worth a try, hell I hadn't gotten any sleep goin' on two days now.

I made it down to Ana's old room, managed to crawl in t'e shower and settled down to try and rest. Sleep didn't come though, all I did was worry about the situation I was puttin' t'e lass in. All yer doin' is leadin' her astray. You should'a just left her alone and she could've gone about her life like you never existed. I felt it was too late now to try and push her away, I was in too deep and didn't know of a way out just yet. I knew I told her t'at we'd wait till t'e end of the trip to have a serious talk, but I had a feelin' we'd need to have one sooner than that. Wit' all my internal ramblin' the night flew by too quick, and next t'ing I knew my alarm was goin' off.

Today's gonna be hell I can already tell it. I grudged down to t'e galley and was surprised to see Ana already up gettin' things in order. "Yer up and at 'em pretty early lass." I commented, tryin' to find my coffee pot to brew me a cup. As if she was readin' my mind, she pointed to the stove where she had already made the first batch.

"I figured you could use a cup since you drank an entire bottle of gin last night," she grinned. I leaned close to her ear, whispered a 'thank you', and went to pour me a mug. I knew t'e only other person on t'e deck at this hour was t'e night watch, I didn't have to constantly watch over my shoulder for eavesdroppers. Makin' my way over to t'e closest bench, I took a moment to watch Ana work.

"You have to stop doing that." she whispered almost to her self.

"Stop doin' wha lass?" I carefully sipped from t'e steamin cup.

She was carrying the last bit of plates to their cabinets, once she placed them in t'ere she slammed t'e door shut and turned to face me. "You know damn good and well what I'm talkin' about."

Raisin' my eyebrow at her, she continued to explain. "If you don't want me falling in love with you, you have to quit with the over flirty stuff." she ground out, obviously flustered. "The whispering in my ear, the sensual touching. It all has to stop."

She looked like she was about to cry, so I stood up to try and comfort her. "Now lass, I didn't mean to-"

"Of course you didn't mean to!" she cried, "Because you don't feel for me what I feel for you so you didn't even think of it." Oh contrary to what you t'ink lass it's the complete opposite.

I stood there for a second, scratchin' my neck tryin' to think of a way to make this better. I didn't even t'ink how she would take it when I did it, it just came so natural to me. "I'm sorry Ana, I'll keep it under control."

"Thank you." She breathed a deep steadyin' breath, and then plastered a smile and tried to make small talk. "So, how did you sleep?"

"I didn't" I blurted before I could t'ink.

"You didn't sleep at all? Why?" She asked, suddenly concerned.

"It's always hard to get back to sleep when yer on night watch." I lied, but she didn't buy it.

"John, you know you're more than welcome to come sleep in your bed. It's entirely too big for me, I can fit on the couch in your office just fine."

"Now you and I both know t'ats a bad idea lass. T'e crew's talkin' enough as it is, if they find out we're sleepin' in such close quarters their tongues will just go a waggin'." I turned away from her, leaned my head against my head and closed my eyes. Maybe, if you get a magical fifteen second nap you'll make it through t'e day.

Ana came to sit beside me, crossed her arms and laid her head down to try and get a better look at me, and nudged me wit' her shoulder. "John," she whispered, "I can tell by the bags under your eyes that last night wasn't your first sleepless night."

I cracked an eye open to look at her, "Ya know it's really annoyin' how yer so intuitive to what people are tinkin." As if to confirm what she said, I stretched into a big yawn.

"Look, I know of a way to make it work without anyone knowing." She laid her hand on my arm, "If you keep my old room locked, no one can get in to see that you're not in there. We can keep your stateroom locked, I'll sleep on the couch in your office and you can sleep back in your bed. If anyone comes knocking I can hide in your bedroom and you can tell them you were doing work in the office."

I sat there workin' through all t'e possible ways her plan could backfire and I couldn't find one. Only ot'er person t'at had a key to my stateroom was Jim, and he would understand once I explained to him it was just so I could get enough sleep.

Takin' another deep sip of my coffee, my body reminded me just how sleep deprived I really was. "Fine. We'll try it out for a night and see if it works out."

She broke out in a triumphant grin, planted a quick kiss on my forehead and went to brew some more coffee.

"You know it's not fair t'at you can show me affection but I can't show you any." I teased wit' a smug grin on my face.

She immediately freezed, turned around wit' her mouth covered and a blush on her face. "You're right. John, I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize I did it, it just came so-"

"Natural." I finished for her.

"Y-yeah.." she looked down

I know t'e feelin. For a few minutes, the tension could be cut wit' a knife. "So, are ya ready to start breakfast?" I asked, she nodded thankful for a distraction from t'e sparks t'at danced between us. Breakfast passed smoothly, Ana and I cooly ignorin' each other so as to not raise any more suspicions. Once everyone was finished Jim stayed behind to help clean and I headed up to t'e helm to plan t'e day's coordinates with Mr. Otis.

We were headed to our first major port in t'e Lagoon Nebula to stock up on supplies. It was still about a day and a half away, and then we would travel another few hours on to Denmark for Ana's cousin's birthday. Just as I was headed towards t'e wheel, Ana and Jim were coming up the stairs.

"So, where are we headed to today Cap'n?" Jim asked.

Once I explained t'e plan to Jim, Ana suddenly gasped. "I totally forgot! Are there any dress shops at the port I can stop by while we're there?"

I raised an eyebrow up at her, "I t'ought you already had a dress for t'e party lass?"

"Of course not!" She waved me off, "That one is for when I land in Montressor, I am going to need a more formal one to wear to Melody's party. By the way Cap'n, you're going to need a formal outfit as well."

"What in blue blazes will I need one for?" I said in disbelief, "It's not like I'm goin' to t'at blasted party."

She started shufflin' her feet as if she was keepin' a secret. "Actually, since this is a proper royal event, I'm not allowed to go without an escort."

"So, take Jim wit'cha. He's already got his formal academy uniform he can wear."

"Technically he isn't the person that is in charge of my welfare, you are. It would be seen as an insult to my position if I showed up with the second in command," She shot Jim an apologetic glance. "No offence Jim."

He laughed and held his hands up "None taken at all. I don't do the fancy parties anyway."

Rollin' my eyes and grittin' my teeth I gave in. "Fine. I'll take ya to t'e dress shop, but I already got a formal uniform anyway."

Jim looked at me eyes wide, "YOU have a formal outfit Silver?! It doesn't count if it doesn't fit." he laughed.

"Ah shaddup Jimbo," I chuckled, "I've gone to my own soiree a time or two, and yes Jimbo it still fits."

"I'm sure it will work perfect." Ana grinned. "I'm worried about finding myself something to wear." She looked self consciously down at herself.

"Lass, you could wear a damn purp sack and make it look amazin'" I reassured her.

Jim glanced at me sideways and agreed. Before I could dig myself in a deeper hole, I sent Ana and Jim off wit' a to do list to keep them busy until lunch time. The entire morning was uneventful, which only made it harder for me to stay awake. By t'e time mid-morning came around I was dead on me feet. Just in time, Jim and Ana trudged up t'e steps to check in.

"Everyt'ing done?" I asked?

"Yes sir." They both answered.

"Good. Jim you come take over, Ana I'm gonna need yer help makin' lunch today." Ana headed back down t'e steps and Jim shot me another 'What are you doin?!' glance.

"I haven't slept in t'ree days, I am dead on my feet and I need just a bit o'help cooking enough food for twenty some odd men. Your comments are invalid." I growled brushing past him. I managed to stay awake long enough to make it down t'e steps to t'e galley, but I was met wit' t'e funniest sight I ever did see. Ana stood right by t'e stove, arms crossed and eyes burnin'. Those eyes burned even brighter when I burst out laughin' at her stance.

I threw my arms up in exasperation, "Aw hell lass, what'd I do now?"

"Sit." she barked, pointing to a seat right next to her.

"Lass, I don't 'ave time to-" and next t'ing I knew I was bein' pulled over and forced to sit down. I tried to get back up, but a firm hand on me chest kept me in place. "Ana, I can't just sit here, I have to-"

She gently put a hand on my cheek and leaned down to get face level. "John, just stop it. Please."

"What are ya doin lass?" My eyes lookin' behind her checkin' to make sure we weren't bein' watched.

"You need to take care of yourself, I've been watchin' you fall asleep on your feet all day." She started rubbin' my shoulder closest to my mechanical arm, and my eyes drifted shut in exhaustion. "Let me handle lunch today, you can tell me what to do from here."

"T'ere is no use in arguin' I guess?" I whispered.

She grinned, whispered back "Nope, none at all." and went off to work.

I didn't even realize I had fell asleep until I felt a tickle in my natural ear. Stretching awake I found she had managed to make t'e entire meal without me havin' to give any direction, and she did a bang up job too. All I could do was muster up a "Wow" at t'e sight before me, Ana had somehow managed to not only make lunch, but make a multi course meal. Every counter was filled with steaming meats, pickled fruits, even fresh bread and baked desserts.

"Hell look at ya lass, yer a natural chef!" I walked over to inspect her work even closer. Ana had turned to take a plate out of t'e cabinet, and started loadin it up wit' every delicacy she made.

"Well I had a pretty good teacher," she winked, "Now come, sit and eat. You'll feel more awake when you get some more sugar in you." Boy was she right. I could feel me energy floodin' back t'e more I ate, it seemed like the meal recharged t'e whole crew too. Since Ana had done all t'e work makin' lunch, I offered to clean up so her and Jim could go relax at t'e helm.

It took a bit of convincin', but she finally gave in and followed him up t'e stairs. Cleanin' up t'e galley took a bit of time, but once it was done I headed back up to t'e helm to join me first mate and Ana. T'e rest of t'e day went by agonizingly slow. Weather conditions were perfect, t'e crew was in good spirits and all maintenance on t'e ship was caught up for once. To pass t'e time I idly listened to Ana and Jim talk back and forth about random topics, but one in particular caught my attention.

They were both leanin' against t'e railin' next to t'e wheel starin' out over t'e deck when Ana asked Jim, "Do you really think I would make a good queen?"

"Of course you would Ana, why would you doubt yourself?" Jim answered.

"Because I have no desire to be a ruler. It's a lot of pressure having an entire nation's future on your shoulders." She sighed.

"Well surely your future husband will help you with the big decisions, you both can face them together."

"See, that's the thing Jim. I have no idea who this man is. All I know is his name is George and that's it. You're from Montressor aren't you? You would know more about their royal family than I would."

Jim scratched his head, "Well technically my mom and I lived on the spaceport, we had to answer to the intergalactic government not the King and Queen." Ana dropped her gaze in worry, "but that's not to say they aren't good people."

Unfortunately Jim was lying. The Montressor Royal family were a powerful, ruthless group of people. There is a reason why no one tried to take control of t'e planet, and it's 'cause no one was brave enough to face 'em. It was also t'e reason why I was gettin' paid so much to make sure t'e lass made it to her wedding. The family was having a hard time finding a wife for the prince who was next in line for king. I hadn't heard too much 'bout him as a person, but t'e family had to practically send out bribes for suitors and Ana's father was t'e only one who answered.

Jim's next question yanked me out of my inner ramblin'. "Ana, you honestly don't want to get married do you?" he asked in disbelief.

Ana froze and then admitted, "Not a single bit. If I knew it wouldn't erupt in a war I would've ran away by now."

"Surely they wouldn't start an entire war just because you didn't get married?"

"Jim, you don't know my father," she turned to face him. "He is a ruthless leader, if he didn't start a war he would just send the next oldest sister in my place to keep one from happening."

That is absolutely true. She's not doin' this because she wants to, she's doin' it to make sure everyone but herself is safe. Ana then pushed herself away from t'e railin' and started to head down stairs.

"The reason I didn't want to talk about it is because the more I do the easier it is for me to talk myself out of it. I'm afraid that I'll be too scared to go through with it, so I just don't want to think about it until I'm forced to." She looked at me "Now, if you gentlemen don't mind I am going to go freshen up before I have to start making dinner." and off she went to my stateroom.

As soon as she was out of earshot Jim rushed over and whispered, "We need to talk, now." Noddin' my agreement we both made our way below deck into t'e longboat bay. As soon as we sealed t'e door Jim started on his tirade. "John we have to help her!"

"And how in blue blazes do you suppose we do t'at Jimbo?!"

"There has to be a way!" he shouted, getting more frustrated.

I tried to make him see reason, but my frustration was climbin' just as high as his. "Jim, you heard her yerself. She either gets married or there's a war."

"John you know that is the biggest load of bull. We can't ship her off to her doom!"

"And why t'e hell not Jim?! We did it to every other escort perfectly fine wit'out any problems!"

He stared at me wit' his jaw hangin' open. "You and I both know damn good and well she isn't like any of the others." We argued back and forth, Jim pushing me with reasons why we should intervene and diggin' as to why I didn't think we needed to. Finally at me wits end I blew up.

Gettin' in my face Jim shouted, "Why don't you want to save her?!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO JUST SAVE HER! I want to take her away from here and make sure she's safe wit' ME!" I bellowed. "I just want to load up on a long boat, me an' her and leave everyt'ing behind but I can't do that Jim! Both of us have responsibilities, she is a damn PRINCESS, she doesn't belong livin' her life alongside a pirate!"

Jim covered his mouth at my outburst. Pointin' a finger he whispered, "Y-you..love her. You're in love with her aren't you?!"

I turned away from his accusin' glare. "I love her enough to let her go to live t'e life she deserves. She deserves a life with a prince, a king."

"She deserves to be with someone who loves and cares for her." These words shook me to me soul, because I knew they were true. Damn it all to hell. I punched t'e wall as hard as I could in frustration, Jim jumped back in surprise.

"I'm not sayin' this again. We aren't interferin' in her business. If she is goin' to back out it is to be on her own accord." Before he could argue, I left Jim in t'e hangar to go start dinner. On me way to t'e galley I ran into Ana comin' out of me state room. Seein me in such anger she tried to stop me.

"Woah, hey. What happened John?"

I threw me hands up in t'e air in frustration, "You know what, between you and Jim barragin' me with questions I'm gonna go off t'e damn deep end! If I wanted to let ya know what t'e problem was I would damn it." As soon as t'e words left my mouth I regretted it, but I was too damn pissed to care at t'at moment. Just get to t'e galley and start cookin'. That'll help calm ya down.

As soon as I hit t'e foot of them stairs I let t'e warmth of t'e galley soothe me frazzled nerves. T'is was my happy place, where I could just tune out and not have to worry 'bout a ting. I went through t'e usual steps to prepare dinner, and t'e farther along I got t'e more my worries slipped away. By t'e time everything was ready I felt like a new man, but t'e look on Ana and Jim's faces when they came down to eat showed t'ey were feelin' the opposite. I caught both of their eyes, nodded for t'em to come over, and lead t'em out of sight of t'e crew that began filin' in.

"Look, I just wanted to tell ya both I'm sorry."

Jim looked shell shocked, "Hang on let me write this down in my calendar, as the single time John Silver has issued an apology."

"Oh get off it would ya." I shoved him playfully, t'en looked at Ana. She didn't seem to forgive as easily as Jim. "Look lass, I shouldn't have spoke to ya in such a way. Jimbo and I had just got done wit' an argument and I was still heated when I ran into ya." I rubbed my neck nervously, half worried she wasn't gonna forgive me at all.

"Well now I know next time to not check on you when you're angry." She scoffed playfully. And at that we all went to have us some dinner wit' t'e crew. Once dinner was over, everyone wanted to stay up and play drinkin' games, but I was beyond exhausted

Ana snuck out early which reminded me of our secret sleepin' arrangement we had planned out. After enough time had passed, I bid t'e crew a good night and a reminder of their early morning. I almost headed straight to my stateroom when I remembered to go lock up Ana's old room.

Thankfully I didn't run into anyone walkin' back to t'e upper deck, and I was able to slip in my stateroom undetected. I walked into me office, lockin' t'e door behind me, and tried to make it into me bedroom without killin myself or wakin' up Ana.

Once I made it to t'e doorway, I looked back at Ana's sleepin' form on t'e couch in t'e dark state room. She had found one of t'e extra blankets, taken one of my pillows and looked rather comfortable. She was right, she looks like she fits perfect. I stood t'ere for a second, havin' an internal debate if I should go to her or leave her be. Just a quick little check won't hurt.

I walked up behind t'e couch so I could see from t'e light comin' from my bedroom. She looked like an angel wit' her hair strewn about everywhere, her mouth hangin' open with t'e slightest snore. Oh she would kill ya if you told her she did t'at last little bit. I reached down wit' my natural hand to brush some hair out of her eyes.

"Oh what I'd do to be able to take ya away from all of t'is lass." I whispered. Suddenly she stirred in her sleep leanin' her face into my palm. Scared that I had woke her up, I snatched my hand up and wondered if she could've heard me. Nah, no way. T'e next thing she did just pulled at my heart strings.

Still asleep, she hugged her pillow even tighter and mumbled, "John, please don't." Leave. Yer in t'is way too deep. Yer just gonna hurt her. It took galactic force to keep me from scoopin' her up to comfort her, but even I knew that would be a stupid t'ing to do. Defeated, I slunk back into my room, took a quick shower, and collapsed to sleep for t'e first time in nearly three days.