Lachlan

Kali was uncomfortable for the rest of the evening. It wasn't obvious for everyone, but her roommates and I could tell, and I'm sure Reese could too. He distanced himself from her for the majority of the night, which was a relief to all of us, but I still kept getting this uncomfortable feeling. I kept feeling eyes on me and every time I would look around, our eyes would meet before one of us looked away.

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom. Be back in a second," Kali said as she got up.

I nodded and got up as well. "Ok, want another drink?"

"Just Coke is fine."

I nodded and walked towards the kitchen with our cups. "Hey," a deep voice from behind me said, "can I talk to you real quick?"

I turned to see Reese standing behind me, trying to look as natural as possible. "Um, yea, sure. What's up?"

He stood beside me, filling up his own drink. "I know you're that Australian Youtuber."

I froze for a second, but continued like what he said hadn't phased me. "Ok," I said as calmly as possible.

"It's kind of hard not to know who you are. She only listened to you every fuckin night. I'm sure this hasn't happened to you, but it is really uncomfortable to try to sleep while listening to another guy calm down your girlfriend before she can sleep." He grabbed the whiskey from in front of me and poured himself a cup with no mixer. He took a swig of his drink and stared out at the people having a good time in front of us. I stayed quiet, really not knowing how to respond. "I'm still in love with her, but I know she's moved on. Of course, what bigger fuck you could it be than the single person that annoyed me most."

I looked at him uncomfortably, knowing that it was his liquor talking. "You know we're just friends, right?"

"Bull shit. She looks at you like," he paused, taking another drink from his cup, "like she used to look at me."

I looked at him, beating himself up. "She still feels guilty for hurting you. That's not what she wanted."

"I know, but it did happen and I can't risk going through that again. She's an amazing person and deserves the best, so you better treat her well or I will come after you." With that, he left and returned to his seat on the couch. I stood there awkwardly, thinking about what Kali's ex boyfriend had just said to me, and tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling. I returned to my spot just as Kali left the bathroom.

Analys got up and sat on the other side. "What was that all about?" she asked in a low whisper.

"He basically just told me to take care of Kali or he'd fuck me up. Causal stuff."

She laughed. "Well, that makes two of us then. Look at me and him playing on the same team. He is a good guy, he just had his heart broken."

"I get that. It's still just fuckin weird. Kali obviously isn't taking the reunion well either. Maybe I should just see if she wants to go?" She nodded, getting up and heading to the kitchen. I placed a hand on Kali's shoulder and she jumped. "Do you want to head out soon?" I whispered. She sighed and gave me a small nod, relief evident on her face. "Ok, let me just use the bathroom really quick."

"Oh, I think someone's in the bathroom. Hey Ash, do you mind if he uses the bathroom in your room?" Ash shook his head and motioned to the direction of his room. "Follow me," she said, extending her hand to help me off of the couch.

I stood and followed her towards a narrow hall. "Wait a second!" I heard someone yell from behind me. Both Kali and I turned around, confused.

Ash was laughing and just motioned above his head, indicating that we should look up. We both looked up and saw why everyone, minus Reese, was cheering and laughing behind us. Above us hung a mistletoe and Kali and I both reddened course this was something I wanted to do, but it was special to me and I wanted it to be special for Kali too. "You have to do it, house rules." He shrugged and smiled, waiting for one of us to react.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" I heard Kali's friends cheer from throughout the living room and kitchen. She looked at me, confliction in her eyes since she didn't know what to do. I ended up making the decision for her, knowing exactly what she wouldn't want me to do in this situation. I bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on the check. Her face was warm from embarrassment and it burned against my lips.

"Close enough," Brandon said from the living room as everyone looked away from us and continued back to their conversations, realizing how incredibly awkward.

Kali sped walked down the hall and to the left towards the master bedroom. She turned on the light and pointed me towards the direction of the bathroom. She looked at me and bit her lip. "It's right down there. Sorry about that, by the way. My friends are kind of a lot."

I smiled at her, closing the gap between us. "Don't be sorry, Kal. Your friends are lovely people and they care so much about you."

She smiled and started towards the door. I couldn't let this opportunity pass again. Third time's a charm, right? I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in close to me. I kept my hands firmly on her waist and felt her wrap her arms around my neck. Her eyes shifted between my eyes and lips, and my eyes did the same. "What are you doing?" she asked in a breathy voice.

"Something I've wanted to do for ages," I whispered.

My lips met hers and I felt a tingle surge through my whole body. It was meant to be a gentle, little kiss, but once the contact was made, everything we both had been holding back was released. It was slow, but passionate , and the yearning we both had for it to continue was evident. I don't know how long we were kissing for, but it didn't seem like long enough before Kali pulled away. I looked into her eyes, her lids looking a little heavy from the lust that I could see taking over.

"Lachlan," she breathed my name. God it sounded so incredibly sexy.

"I wasn't going to let our first kiss be in front of a bunch of people, but I really couldn't resist the temptation anymore. I want you Kali. I want you so bad it hurts."

She bit her lip before tilting her head up and placing a kiss on my lips. "Hurry up and we'll head out."

We were laying on her bed, our lips interlocked in the most passionate kiss I had ever experienced. She changed her position so that she was straddling me with her knees placed on either side on my waist. She moved from my lips down to my neck, and I let out a soft moan. I could feel her smile against my skin before gently sucking and nibbling on the spot again. My fingers moved from intertwined in her hair to her waist. I started slowly grinding her against me and I could feel myself getting more and more excited as she kept kissing my neck.

She sat up and started pulling up my sweater and undershirt, and I gladly helped her. For the first time in a while, I didn't feel exposed. I always felt a little self-conscious when she would see my scars, but it didn't bother me right now. It felt right to be here with her, showing my past and my present and how it's been changing for the better.

I toyed with the hem of her dress, asking her for permission to take it off, but she lifted it over her head and threw it on the floor before I had the chance to. She really did look better than I had imagined. Her breasts looked so perfect and round in her black lace bra and her ass was soft but firm. She fiddled with the buckle of my belt, but I quickly undid it as she slid off my jeans.

We were just in our underwear now and we took a moment to just look over each other. I had been dreaming about this all week, and I'm starting to think it's been on her mind too. I grabbed her by the waist and flipped her so that she was now on her back and I was straddling her. I gently kissed her on her lips, her neck, and made my way slowly to her breasts. I looked into her eyes, asking for permission, and she bit her lip and nodded in response. I slid the straps of her bra down her shoulders, slowly exposing her bare breasts.

I felt the blood surge through my body as I kissed her softly, my hands making their way from her beautifully tanned breasts to the hem of her underwear. I felt her body stiffen slightly and I pulled away. "Is everything ok? Are we moving too fast?"

Kali looked at me, her face slightly flushed. "Everything's fine it's just, um, there's this thing I feel like I need to tell you about."

My chest tightened. She wasn't a virgin, was she? I had nothing against that, it's just I wouldn't want things to go any further tonight if that were the case. This wasn't a special enough moment for someone so amazing to lose her virginity. I stuttered a little before I could get my question out. "Kal, are you a virgin?"

She looked at me like I was crazy. "What the fuck? No. Wait, are you? If you are we shouldn't-"

"No I'm not, Kal," I said laughing. "I told you I was good in bed, didn't I?"

"Oh fuck off." She laughed nervously next to me. "It's just, ok, I've only had sex with my past two boyfriends, so basically I don't have sex with just anyone. Not that you're just some random, but it's just this extra pressure I put on myself and I just felt like I should tell you."

"We will only go as far as you want to." I cupped her cheek gently. "I wouldn't want you to do anything you're not ready to do and please know I am willing to wait as long as you need to."

She nodded, resting her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said with a slight blush.

I pulled her onto my lap, kissing her gently on the lips. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, beautiful."

She smiled and looked down at my neck. "Shit, I have to be sorry about that hickey I left on your neck." She bit her lip nervously.

I smiled and gave her another kiss. "I truly don't give a fuck. People should be jealous when they see it. Look at the babe that gave it to me."

She rolled her eyes and slid off my lap. "You're so fucking attractive but God you're so fucking annoying." She got up from her bed, adjusting her bra, and handing me a massive rectangular mass. "It's your Christmas gift."

"Oh shit, where's mine?" I looked around and found at leaning against her bed. I picked it up and handed it to her. "You open it first."

"No you open it first," she said with a childish frown.

I smiled at her. "You're so fuckin adorable," placing a playful kiss on her lips. She smiled into the kiss. "We open it at the same time?"

She pulled away and nodded. "Are you just going to keep kissing me all the time now?"

"Oh absolutely. Do you know how long I've been wanting to do that?"

"Oh, please. You've only known me for two and a half weeks."

"Yes and I've wanted to kiss you for two and a half weeks," I said in a serious tone. I gave her a quick peck and gave her a cheeky smile.

"I hate you," she said, shaking her head. " Ok, we open on three?" I nodded. "One, two, three." We both ripped the paper off our gifts quickly and our mouths dropped.

She had recreated the zipper painting with the black and white pencils that we had seen in Downtown Disney, but instead the painting was an image of me and my family when I was younger. We had rented a little cottage by the lake, and the picture was of me, my brother, and sisters running around by the water with my parents smiling at the camera, the sun shining in the back. It was one of the last times I remembered being truly happy around them. Beneath the painting, there was a quote written in a calligraphy looking font that read "Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. -Kurt Vonnegut". I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I had never received such a beautiful or thoughtful gift in my entire life. "Kali, this is amazing. I love it."

I looked up to see her staring at her gift in awe. She was blushing as she looked over the gift. "How did you even do this?"

I smiled as she beamed at her gift. It made my heart skip a beat seeing how much she enjoyed it. "I pay attention. Also, I'm really good at taking pictures when you're not paying attention. Evidently, you are too," I said, lifting my gift towards her.

She shrugged a little. "You don't talk about them much, but it's the picture that's closest to your bed. I figured it was an important picture to you, so I thought it would be nice to recreate it for you." I felt the tears sting at my eyes, threatening to come out. She gently put her hand on my cheek and my eyes met hers. "I'm here for you if you need me, you know that, right?"

"Of course," I said nodding. "I'll talk to you about it when I'm ready, ok?"

She nodded and gave me a supportive smile and looked back at her gift. "This truly is beautiful, Power. I don't know how you even thought about doing this."

"Well, I just want to make sure you always remember how beautiful I find you and how absolutely beautiful you truly are. You deserve the daily reminder."

She blushed, biting her lip and placing her gift and mine gently next to us on the bed. She kissed me, at first it gently and it slowly became more passionate and urgent. The kiss continued to heat up, both of us obviously feeling emotions from our gifts in very different ways. In this moment, I was trying to fill that hole in my heart that I felt when it came to my family, but I didn't quite know what Kali was feeling just yet. Her hands went into my hair and mine went to her butt. I could feel her moan into the kiss as a gave it a squeeze, causing me to moan a little in return as I felt her bite my lip.

"You are the worst kind of person. Like seriously," she said as she pulled away.

I cocked my eyebrow in confusion. "What did I do now?"

"I was this close to convincing myself that I didn't have like real, legitimate feelings for you," she said, her fingers less than a centimeter away from each other. "Then you had to go and fuck it up by kissing me. Like how do you expect me to recover from that? Like you are a really good kisser and this just complicated everything."

I smiled at her as she played with her hair in frustration. "Good. My plan worked then. I really do like you, Kali. I like you a lot and I just want you to accept your feelings for me too. Just let it happen."

She fell into my arms, her eyebrows furrowed together. "I don't want to like you. You're so annoying."

"That reminds me actually." I lifted her slightly and reached for her gift, pulling off the envelope taped to the back. "This is for you, too. You just can't read it until I drop you off at the airport, got it?"

She looked at me with a smirk. "Got it." She got up, bending over and sliding it into her carry on bag. I tried not to stare at her, but it was just such a nice view. "I'm gonna go shower, don't miss me too much." I watched her as she grabbed a sports bra and underwear from her closet and walked out the door.

I grabbed my phone and looked through my social media notifications. I responded to some fans that tweeted me and favorited a few different fan arts that were sent. One caught my attention, specifically. It was a lifelike drawing of Kali and I during the Remembering Sunday cover video and it was really good. I retweeted the picture and saved it in my phone, making a mental note to show it to Kali when she got out of the bathroom.

Just then, I heard a ding and I realized she had left her phone in her room. I ignored it until I heard it ding again. I cursed myself, letting my curiosity get the best of me. I got up and looked at her phone. I gulped as I read the messages from her lockscreen.

REESE: It was nice seeing you tonight. You looked as beautiful as ever. I've missed you so much babe

REESE: I know you're going to New York tomorrow, but I really hope we can meet up when you get back. We can go to our old favorite place? My treat ;)

My stomach turned as he called her babe. I was starting to make her ok with her feelings for me and I didn't want him interfering with it. I sighed, realizing they had more history than we ever could. I got up and grabbed my jeans, sliding them back on but not buttoning them just yet. I laid down on her bed, resting my eyes until she came back.

I woke up feeling her cuddled into my side as she messed around on her phone. Of course, all I could think about was her texting Reese which got under my skin. He gave me his blessing, so why was he texting to meet up with her?

"Looks like Sleeping Beauty is finally up."

"How long was I asleep for," I asked.

"About an hour. And have I told you lately how sexy your wake up voice is?"

I chuckled at her, remembering how she had accidently let it slipped during our ice cream date. "You haven't but thank you for the reminder. I guess we just need to sleep together more often. Wait, not like that, I meant literally sleeping."

She laughed and placed her phone down beside her. "I actually think I'm going to miss you, man."

I pulled her closer with one arm and grabbed her hand. "I'm just a FaceTime call away, Kal." I placed a kiss on her forehead and she snuggled in closer.

"We should be heading out soon. My flight leaves at 4 AM and I have to be there 2 hours early." She placed her head on my chest, making no movements to leave.

I looked down at her and smiled. "You don't seem to be making any effort to get up."

She looked at me and gave me a mischievous look. Her fingers unlatched from my hand and gentle traced from my chest down to the waistband of my boxers, sending chills throughout my body. "I said soon, not now. We still have some time to kill."

I grabbed her and positioned her so that she was laying on top of me. "And what did you have in mind, Diaz?" She giggled and crashed her mouth against mine. Who was I to tell her no on Christmas?

Kali

Lachlan rubbed my back slowly, trying to comfort me. He knew more about my break up than the people in the room, aside from Reese himself and my roommates. We shared the same group of friend, so we decided to keep the details and the break up to ourselves for a while, deciding that we would give it a month or so until we were both in better places and would tell people it was mutual. We didn't want people feeling like they had to choose sides,especially with Reese leaving for grad schools only a few months after our separation.

I felt Reese's eyes watch over me, bouncing between Lachlan and I. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your new friend?" he asked in a calm tone. It didn't seem to be laced with jealousy or malice, but I also knew Reese had learned to put up a positive front for the people around him from a young age.

I wasn't sure if he'd recognize his face, but I knew he would recognize his name and voice. I felt my mouth go dry, but I nodded in agreement, remembering how he would always joke about how bad I am at introductions. "Um, Aneuris, this is, um," I felt my throat tighten, nervous to say his name to him.

Lachlan extended his hand out to him, seeing my anxiety getting the best of me. "Hey, "I'm Lachlan. It's nice to meet you, um, can I get your name one more time?"

Reese shook his hand in response. "Just call me Reese. I hate hearing people butcher my name." He chuckled a little, alleviating the tension around me a little. He was always so good at that, making the scene more comfortable for everyone. It was one of the reasons we used to click so well. "I'm gonna grab a drink. Anybody need anything?" Everyone shook their heads and carried on with conversation.

"You ok, Kal?" I heard Lachlan whisper in my ear. I nodded slightly, resting my head against his shoulder. I zoned out as everyone spoke around me, unable to control the dark depths of my thoughts.

I fidgeted with the food on my plate, not feeling very hungry. I didn't think I still had feelings for Reese, but seeing him today made all of the feelings crash back. It didn't help that I kept making eye contact with his warm, brown eyes or that his tight, black curls were pulled back into the ponytail we'd both always talked about him doing. I couldn't help but remember the way he held me in his strong, brown arms or how his soft kisses used to feel against my lips. I didn't want to think these thoughts, but I was and it was killing me, especially because I had such a kind and loving person sitting beside me, trying to soothe me through my silent break down while everyone around was oblivious to it.

I needed a few minutes to myself. "I'm gonna run to the bathroom. Be back in a second." I got up quickly only to realize Lachlan was rising too.

"Ok, want another drink?" His blue eyes were dark with concern. I was worrying him. God, I hated when people would worry about me.

"Just Coke is fine," I said quickly before walking into the guest bathroom. I locked the door and slid down the wall, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I hated feeling so confused about everything. I was just beginning to come to terms with my feelings for Lachlan and the return of Reese really fucked everything up.

Maybe I'm not ready to move on yet. Maybe I never fell out of love with Reese. Maybe I'm using Reese as a distraction so I don't admit to myself just how much I like Lachlan. Maybe I was psyching myself out because I was scared to be happy with someone. All of these scenarios danced around in my head. I couldn't figure out what was real and what wasn't. I just needed a sign, something, anything, to help me figure out what I wanted.

I sighed and got up from the floor. I looked in the mirror to see a pale, stressed version of myself with an obnoxious red nose and childish antlers. What did either man ever see in me?

I left the bathroom, more confused than I had entered and plopped down next to Lachlan. I couldn't help but daze out again, unwilling and unable to focus on everything around me.

I was only jolted back to reality when I felt a big hand land on my shoulder. "Do you want to head out soon?" Lachlan whispered to me. I instantly felt some pressure lift off of my chest as I nodded. He gave me a smile, making me smile a little in response. "Ok, let me just use the bathroom really quick."

I looked around and saw that the door was closed. "Oh, I think someone's in the bathroom. Hey Ash, do you mind if he uses the bathroom in your room?" He shook his head and pointed down the hall. "Follow me," I said as I helped Lachlan from the couch.

We didn't make it very far before I heard Veronica scream behind us. "Wait a second!" We both turned around, my face showing I was clearly annoyed. Ash was laughing hysterically and told us to look up. It was a mistletoe. A fucking mistletoe. My face got hot from anger and embarrassment. When I had asked for a sign, this was definitely not what I was asking for.

Ash couldn't conceal the the smile on his face. "You have to do it, house rules."

Everyone began shouting for us to kiss. My eyes wondered around the room, looking for a certain someone's face. His eyes were dark and he had a slight frown as he took a swig of his drink and looked away. This didn't feel right. None of this felt right. I looked at Lachlan, not knowing where to really go from here. I saw him searching my face for an inkling of what he should do and before I knew it, he was bending down and giving me a kiss on the cheek. I blushed, harder than expected, from the contact. I heard someone say something behind us, but rushed off down the hall before any other comments could be made.

I walked into the Ash's room, turning on the light and pointing Lachlan towards the bathroom door. I bit my lip nervously, knowing he probably felt insanely uncomfortable about the situation. "It's right down there. Sorry about that, by the way. My friends are kind of a lot."

He smiled at me and moved closer to me. "Don't be sorry, Kal. Your friends are lovely people and they care so much about you."

I returned his smile and walked toward the door until I felt hands wrap around my waist and pull me in. I looked up between his ice blue eyes and soft, pink lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "What are you doing?"

"Something I've wanted to do for ages." With that, I felt his lips gently press against mine. Once the realization of what was happening hit me, I made the kiss harder, rougher. I was looking for the answers to the questions that were running through my mind. My feelings for Reese were figments of my imagination, something brought up to cause turmoil in the amazing moments I've been having these past few weeks with this beautiful human being I was fortunate enough to kiss.

I eventually pulled away, needing to collect my thoughts as my mind began to wonder how much further this could go tonight. "Lachlan," I whispered, realizing how out of breath I was.

He bit his lip and looked down into my eyes. "I wasn't going to let our first kiss be in front of a bunch of people, but I really couldn't resist the temptation anymore. I want you, Kali. I want you so bad it hurts."

This was the sign I needed. This is the sign I wanted. I gave him one last peck before we let go of each other. "Hurry up and we'll head out." He smiled and nodded, walking towards the bathroom as I went back outside, a smile plastered on my face.

I looked over at my roommates as I grabbed my purse, smirks on both of their faces. "Heading out?" Carina asked? I nodded slowly, exaggerating my movements so that they caught on that something had happened. Carina shook her head. "We'll be sure to be quiet when we get home," she said with a wink.

I laughed and turned around, only to be met with Reese. "Oh, hey." He looked down and saw that I head gathered my things. "You heading out already?"

My voice felt trapped for a second, but I was pushed through it. "Yea, I'm flying out to New York really early tomorrow."

His face fell a little. "Oh, I wanted to see if we could maybe catch up before I had to head back to Gainesville. I really do want to be friends again, Kali. I don't want what happened to ruin what we once had."

I looked towards Ash's room, wishing Lachlan would walk out right now. "Um, I mean I come back the thirtieth. Maybe we can do something then."

He smiled at me, the way he used to smile at me right before kissing me. It didn't feel right seeing him do that anymore, especially after the kiss I just had moments ago. "Sounds great. I'll text you, ok?"

I turned to see Lachlan come down the the hall and I started towards the door, quickly nodding at Reese before making my exit.

Our clothes were tossed on the floor and we rolled around, kissing passionately in nothing but our underwear. I hadn't been like this with anyone since Reese and I was starting to get nervous. I could tell Lachlan was ready to go further, he wanted to go further, and I think I did too. He kept kissing my neck, making my body tingle all over, but I didn't want him to stop. It all felt so new and amazing and my mind raced to all the wonderful possibilities this could lead to.

The thing was I couldn't stop thinking about what going further would mean in this situation. I had only been with Reese and my boyfriend before that and honestly sex was something I liked to keep close to me. I was confusing myself again. I didn't want him to feel like I was teasing him and not do it but I didn't want to compromise my morals for some guy that, yes, I liked, but still didn't fully know. I was still unsure if I could trust him with my body in such an intimate and delicate way that I had allowed a very select few to experience. I had to decide, and fast as I felt Lachlan kiss slowly from my neck to my breasts. The feeling was overwhelming and as he looked at me to get the ok to go further, I hastily nodded, needing to feel him as he continued to explore my body.

My body felt ways it hadn't felt in a while, and God I liked it. I loved the way his hands felt on my as they ran from my arm to my chest. I didn't want him to stop, that is until his hands wandered a little further down and I suddenly didn't want him touching me like that anymore.

He instantly noticed the change in my body language, pulling away and bringing his hand gently to my face. I could see he was concerned and embarrassed, and I hate the way he looked at me. "Is everything ok? Are we moving too fast?"

I felt my stomach drop. I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want to tell him everything. I didn't want to tell him about how confused I've been feeling about my emotions or how extremely nervous I was about having sex with someone I've imagined having sex with a whole lot recently. I couldn't put into words how excited I was to be intimate with someone I care so much about while at the same time being disgusted with myself for being with a near stranger. "Everything's fine it's just, um, there's this thing I feel like I need to tell you about."

His eyes danced around a little, a thousand possibilities of what I could potentially be telling probably pushing him away from me in one way or another. "Kal, are you a virgin?"

I looked at him for asking such an absurd question. "What the fuck? No." I was almost certain I told him I had lost my virginity, but I guess I could be wrong. Then a weird thought came into my mind. Was he only asking because he was? " Wait, are you? If you are we shouldn't-"

He cut me off with a loud laugh. "No I'm not, Kal. I told you I was good in bed, didn't I?"

I laughed a little, feeling a little more at ease since he was laughing beside me. "Oh fuck off. It's just, ok, I've only had sex with my past two boyfriends, so basically I don't have sex with just anyone. Not saying that you're just some random guy, but it's just this extra pressure I put on myself and I just felt like I should tell you." I felt like some weight had been lifted off of me after admitting that to him. I was really hoping he understood, but at the end of the day at least I would be ok with myself and the decision.

He gently rubbed his finger against my cheek, a thin smile on his lips. "We will only go as far as you want to. I wouldn't want you to do anything you're not ready to do and please know I am willing to wait as long as you need to."

I laid my head on his shoulder, so extremely grateful for how understanding he was being. "I'm sorry."

He lifted me and put me on his lap, kissing me softly. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about beautiful."

I smiled and looked away from his eyes, my eyes noticing what looked like the start of a bruise. "Shit, I have to be sorry about that hickey I left on you neck."

He chuckled and gave me another kiss. "I truly don't give a fuck. People should be jealous when they see it. Look at the babe that gave it to me," he said with a playful wink.

I got up from my spot, rolling my eyes at his cheesy attempt at being charming. "You're so fucking attractive but God you're so fucking annoying." I picked the gift I made him and passed it to him. "It's your Christmas gift."

His eyes widened as he was hit with realization. "Oh shit, where's mine?" He looked around and found it on the floor, a result of the intense make out session. "You open it first."

I pouted at him. "No you open it first."

He had such a genuine smile on his face. "You're so fuckin adorable," he said with another kiss. "We open it at the same time?"

I nodded at him, pulling away out of necessity and not want. "Are you just going to keep kissing me all the time now?"

"Oh absolutely. Do you know how long I've been wanting to do that?"

"Oh, please. You've only known me for two and a half weeks."

"Yes and I've wanted to kiss you for two and a half weeks," he said, giving me another quick kiss.

I shook my head at how ridiculous he was. "I hate you. Ok, we open on three?" He nodded in agreement. "One, two, three." We both ripped the paper off our gifts quickly and our mouths dropped.

I looked at the simple black frame in front of me, a thick white border surrounding a black and white photo of me on our first date. I don't remember him taking any pictures of me aside from the one's we took together, and I was impressed but how slyly and beautifully it was done. The photo was of my back and profile while I was leaning on the railing in the hot air balloon and looking out towards the water. I remember doing this as I was admiring the skyline and watching how the building and stores looked from above. What I hadn't noticed was the the full moon directly to my right. The way I was positioned, it kind of looked like I was looking towards it, like we had some sort of unknown connection, even though that obviously wasn't my intention. It was such a beautiful shot, and was only complimented when I looked towards the bottom of the frame. In the empty white space at the bottom, there was the familiar poem I kept as my phone's lock screen: "My darling, you can't see it, can you? How like the moon you are. Both of you so timid in yourselves; hiding pieces from the world. Then, there are those rare moments when you both are full, and it becomes hard to look away. You are beautiful. -Alexandria Drzewiecki".

"Kali," I heard him saying, bringing me back to the moment. "This is amazing. I love it."

I was glad to hear his reaction, but I was still in disbelief that he had captured such a small moment and created something so beautiful out of it. "How did you even do this?"

I finally looked up, noticing the tears in his eyes but the smile on his face. It was one of those raw emotions people rarely show, and he was showing it to me. "I pay attention. Also, I'm really good at taking pictures when you're not paying attention. Evidently, you are too."

I knew he wasn't expect what I had made for him. He hasn't mentioned much about his parents, and anytime I would ask, he would avoid the conversation. I know there's more to why he moved all the way over here, and I'm certain his family had something to do with it, but he just hadn't told me what it was yet and it didn't feel right to push it. "You don't talk about them much, but it's the picture that's closest to your bed, I figured it was an important picture to you, so I thought it would be nice to recreate it for you." I saw his eyes water a little more and he shook a little, possibly focused on not crying. I put my hand to his cheek, urging him to look at me. "I'm here for you if you need me, you know that, right?"

He nodded. 'Of course, I'll talk to you about it when I'm ready, ok?"

I nodded and smiled at him, showing him how thankful I was for this moment, the past two and a half weeks we had spent together, and the wonderful piece he had created for me. "This truly is beautiful, Power. I don't know how you even thought about doing this."

"Well, I just want to make sure you always remember how beautiful I find you and how absolutely beautiful you truly are. You deserve the daily reminder."

As the words left his mouth, my heart began to hurt. Reese used to tell me the same thing and I never could truly believe him. Now I have another caring and loving person telling me the same thing and I still don't think I can ever truly believe those words. I placed our gifts on the bed and smashed my lips against his. I was searching for something. I was searching for the truth of how I should feel in this moment. I'm not beautiful, but I feel more beautiful when I'm with him. I'm don't feel beautiful, but I feel happier when I'm in his presence. I don't think I'm beautiful, but I think I can change that with time, and maybe he can support me through that journey.

Lachlan had dropped me off about an hour ago, our goodbye lasting longer than I'd like to admit. We promised to FaceTime and text as much as possible since we wanted to really figure out what was going on between us. I knew it was only going to be a little less than a week, and I knew I would miss him, but I felt like this week apart would really give me some time to sort through my feelings for him. I also had to keep reminding myself that things really couldn't go very far, knowing we still had to deal with the unwritten rules of our group.

I laid my head back on my chair, knowing my flight wasn't for another hour or so. I reached in my bag to grab a book to read when I felt something poke me. I pulled it out and realized it was the envelope he had given me. He had told me to read it after he dropped me off, so I made sure to carefully open it. Instead of seeing a card like I anticipated, there was lined paper in there instead with his distinctive handwriting covering it. I unfolded it and read, seeing that it was written the day after our first date.

December 11th, 2016

Kali, if you're reading this, that means we were able to get past the situation that happened tonight. I don't know when I'll be giving this to you or if I'll ever be giving this to you, but I really hope I will. We've known each other for a few days and I know there is still so much I don't know about you, but I can feel that you're going to be part of my life for a while. Whether we remain just friends or evolve into something more, I genuinely don't want to lose the relationship we've started to develop.

I wasn't lying when I said I liked you, and I hope you weren't either. You are such a great person and in the short time I've known you, you have already motivated me to be better. You push me to explore options and dreams that I would never be confident enough to look at on my own. You push me to want to learn new things for reasons I would never consider and that's beautiful to me, Kali. You're beautiful to me.

I know I upset you with the way I reacted, and you know you upset me when you withheld that piece of information, but I can see now that it was done with good intention. I know myself, and truthfully, I would have immediately removed myself from that group had you mentioned something the first night we spoke. I'm honestly glad you waited, because I was able to learn more about you and about myself. I was able to give us a chance and I'm so glad I did, (though, looking back maybe I should have held off on the tattoo until maybe like our third date?)

I hope I grow the balls to reach out to you, because it is taking everything in me not to just call you right now and apologize for everything, but I know we both need time to really think things through, otherwise we're just adding on more unresolved issues and trust problems to the mountain of issues I have. (I didn't want to say yours because truthfully I know very little about what you have dealt with, though I hope one day you will be comfortable enough telling me.) I really do see you as someone aiding me, being a proper mentor and friend throughout my time here, no matter how short or long that may be. I want you to be part of my journey to be the Lachlan I want to be.

If you're reading this, please know how much you already mean to me. These past four nights we've known each other have been a roller coaster, but I don't regret any of it. Getting low key peer pressured into getting the tattoo I didn't know I needed, making the most delicious cookies I have ever tasted, meeting someone who has the same strange love and feelings towards winter, learning signed language, deciding to go to school, dancing bachata, going on a hot air balloon at the happiest place on earth, and the best part was I got to experience it all with you. If you never get to see this, all I hope is that you know how much those moments have all meant to me, and I really will cherish them for the rest of my life. I don't think I will ever meet someone quite like you again, Kali, and I really hope I don't fuck things up bad enough to the point where I'll want to.

Hopefully yours,

Lachlan

December 21st,

Kali, looks like I'm able to give you this letter I wrote to you ten days ago. Wow, ten days. It's crazy to think that there was even a point in time in our friendship that we weren't talking at all. That was one of the longest days of my life, and I know I sound dramatic, but I really was frightened that we had lost each other. It's crazy how I didn't realize how much I had needed you during that time when literally the next day, you were the face I was glad to see after my panic attack.

We've been spending a lot of time together since then, and I can honestly say you have made this move much easier than I thought it would be. It's because of you that I don't feel homesick or lonely, because I've realized this could be my new home, and if I could find more people like you to surround myself with, I have a real shot at creating a second family of people that care deeply about me, which is honestly insane to me. How do you do that? You make me feel so certain about things, and it blows my mind. How do you make me feel so aware and secure in minutes? I need to know what you do to me.

You honestly mean more to me than you know. I've been able to talk to you about things I would never talk to other people about, either because I don't feel comfortable or they just wouldn't understand. You've unknowingly helped me stop cutting, something I've struggled with for years now and never felt strong enough to stop doing on my own. That in itself is something I will be eternally grateful for.

You're at the airport right now and I'm sure I miss you already. I'm sure I've texted you a few times to ask if you're ok since it's really early and airports can be creepy, especially when you're there alone. I'm sure I've reassured you that I'll be ok without you and you won't need to worry about me and I'm sure you've done the same. I'm sure I've told you to let me know as soon as you get on the plane because I told you I wouldn't sleep until you've left safely, even though I'm probably struggling to stay awake. What I'm most sure of, though, is that I already can't wait to have you in my arms. I can't wait to binge watch The Fosters and Switched at Birth and How I Met Your Mother and Naruto and Archer and all the other random shows you're obsessed with. I can't wait to have you accidently fall asleep and cuddle up next to you because we both know you can't hang, even though you won't ever admit it.

Have a great trip, Kal. I'll see you on the 30th at the airport. Don't forget about me while you're up there!

-Lachlan

PS. - I'll make sure to send you a video or two when I wake up since I know how much you like morning my voice ;)

I smiled at the letters he had written, reading everything he had said in his voice. He truly was a strange one, but I missed him already.