Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related concepts are owned by someone who isn't me. I will never seek or accept money for the circulation of this work. Especially this work.

Holly Polter

author's note: fair warning, Harry is rage-angsty for a bit but will be cured by end of chapter. Please have patience with our mess.

[[ Chapter : Fidelity ]]

Harry felt numb... for about three seconds. Then he heard Dudley whimper, and rage rose within him, sharpening all his senses.

He turned to his cousin and yelled, "Get up, Dudley! We need to get out of here."

When he got no response, Harry strode over to him and kicked him in the leg.

"You stupid, fat fuck! Get up! If we'd ran sooner, she might still be here. I'm not letting you waste that."

Dudley whimpered again.

"GET YOUR FAT ARSE OUT OF THE GUTTER!"

Harry had grabbed hold of Dudley's shirt as he said this, and thus was surprised to see his cousin scramble to standing; he was half expecting Dudley to take a swing at him. Seeing him standing at attention like a soldier was even more disconcerting.

"You following my orders?"

Dudley nodded.

Harry let go of his shirt and said, "Pick up those clothes."

Dudley trotted over to where Holly's clothes lay, bent down and collected them all into his arms, then stood back up.

"We're running back home. Don't drop those." Harry retrieved the satchel Holly had been carrying and the two ran back to Privet Drive through the rain.

[[]]

Noise

He'd been hearing it and he'd been making it.

The Ministry's noise was especially painful, if it was true, and the noise from others (also delivered by owl) had only created more noise by conflicting with what had already been sent, recanted, revised and restated. Harry was to be castrated, magically speaking. Of course, it was all very politely written.

Harry's reponse wasn't:

Get me out of here before I kill someone. - Harry

The noise from Vernon was expected, and Harry had ended it quite promptly using a silent Stupefy. After casting a silent Patronus but being cited for it, Harry wasn't thinking he could 'sneak beneath the radar' like Holly had mentioned, he simply didn't care to hear Vernon's noise but enjoyed the challenge of being noiseless himself. They were already threatening to snap his wand, so really what difference would it make? Only later did it occur to him that he could've used Macnair's wand if he was being smart about it.

Dudley had stopped obeying him when they'd reached home, but even if the effect had worn off, the knowledge that Harry had done that to him meant Dudley kept well out of his way. Harry hadn't been sent any noise on that exercise of magic, but he also hadn't used an explicit spell- just vocal commands backed up with force of will.

The noise quieted on the outside but filled his head on the inside. Since ... losing ... Holly, it felt like nothing could control the noise. A part of him wanted to believe she was out there and would come back for him. That part wanted to go looking for her but didn't have the first clue where to go. So he stewed, waiting for a miracle, a rescuer or for his head to finally explode.

Three days later, friends and allies of Professor Dumbledore came to escort him to their secret hideout. Riding his broom hither and yon over London was a sweet relief, but not quite the thrill that it used to be, BH. Before Holly.

What little peace Harry got from that excursion ended when he arrived at Grimmauld Place. Noise from portraits, noise from mothers (and not even his, or a version thereof), noise from clumsy girls and pushy friends and taunting brothers of friends...

The sole calm voice Harry had found was from Sirius.

When Harry protested about being stowed in a room with Ron (a noisemaker at night if ever there was one), Sirius offered his own. "I'll sleep in the dog bed. I usually do these days."

When he kept getting interrogated by his friends and members of the Order of the Phoenix, Sirius sent them away, advising them within earshot of Harry, "Let him come to you."

Sirius listened. Harry had decided to trust him, so he told Sirius -some- of the details of his 36 hours with Holly. Sirius answered that epic story with, "Merlin, Harry! I would've done just the same, and no regrets, either." He understood.

Sirius even offered him hope; "Dementors don't eat people, Harry. If they did, I'd have seen it. I can imagine that your friend Holly might've Disapparated from under the Dementor, but it'd take a will of iron to focus that much. Leaving the clothes behind isn't that remarkable, if they were just muggle-made. In fact, there's an excellent jinx you can use to -"

"We got them at Madame Malkins specifically so they could get enchanted later. Except for the hat- that was from the consignment rack, and it's definitely enchanted to store stuff. Do you really think she might be out there?"

"Makes more sense than anything else. Problem is; she won't be able to find this place."

"Holly's smart. She'd find a way. And since Hedwig likes her I've sent her out to look for Holly. We'll just wait for a message."

But no message had come, and Hedwig came back from each venture with nothing to show for it but a bellyful of rodent bones.

Operations of the Order of the Phoenix were happening regularly, another irritant since he and the others still of school age were excluded from even discussing this important work. Instead, they cleaned.

It was on such a pointless task that Harry had reached his limit, and decided to break ranks.

They'd been sent into a room with ceiling-high velvet curtains that evidently were infested with dozens of doxies. He, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and the twins had been armed with spray bottles and kerchiefs to remove the pests. Sirius, ever his salvation, walked in right before they were supposed to begin their assault.

"Sirius, do you even like these curtains? I mean, this place is already a bleeding Black Hole of Calcutta; how much velvet must we save?"

Sirius looked at the curtains and then at Harry. "Do your worst."

With a feral grin, Harry pulled out his holly wand. First was a glacius to freeze the curtains, making them more of an obstacle for the doxies than a warren. He next opened and dumped out his bottle of Doxy-cide at the base of the curtains, then stepped back. As expected, the fumes drove the creatures out into the light, and Harry shot them with a variety of hexes, all of which were sufficient to knock out or dismember their targets. The curtains suffered burns, tears and spatters from the spells, but that was gratifying in its own way.

The minute Hary started, Fred and George had shared a sly smile and joined in on the target practice. Ginny cheered Harry on, but then ran upstairs to get her own wand so she could join in. When Ron went to follow, Hermione stopped him with a hand and a whisper, "Let him do this."

Ginny returned, and just as she was taking aim, her mother and Remus strode in and...

... made noise.

"What on Earth are you doing, Harry? The Ministry is already after you-"

"Mrs. Weasley, shut it! They're going to take it anyway, so I might as well enjoy my wand whilst I can, right? Besides, if no one can find this place, there's no way the Ministry will be notified, no way for their owls to deliver warnings, no way for people to keep lying to me about what I can and can't do..."

The impact of the resulting shouting match can be summed up as follows:

Molly Weasley left, in tears.

The Weasley children had resorted to spectating, except when Harry was raging at them. Since that was rare (except for Ron), they mostly cringed and bore through so they could see the rest of the spectacle.

Ron and Hermione made several practical and reasonable explanations and suggestions that generally went unheard or at least unheeded.

Sirius, for being diplomatic, had immunity.

Remus was the last true opponent, for he had every reason in mind and ready to deploy as to why Harry's behavior had been intolerable and juvenile, and that he should trust in his friends and allies.

Harry replied, "How can I trust you when you left me to rot for a decade! Sirius couldn't help it- he was in Azkaban! WHERE WERE YOU?"

A new voice interrupted, "Oh, for God's sake, Harry, stop being such a twat to everybody."

Harry reeled toward the door and bellowed, "What the fuck do you know about it?" When he stopped squinting to emphasize his anger, his jaw dropped.

Holly grinned, shrugged and replied, "Nothing, Harry. That's why I know you're being a twat. You're yelling at me and I just got here. By the way, I borrowed a robe again. Hope you don't mind."

She was really there, and wearing his old robe. Her hair was now a deep cherry color and she wasn't wearing glasses, but it was otherwise exactly the woman he'd-

Harry vaulted two sofas and an end table to get to Holly's side, and as soon as he did, they hugged like family reunited after a disaster.

Taking her back into his arms was like being cleansed. Harry was reminded of pictures from the Great War of trench fighters- that was the level of muck he'd been slogging around that touching her was washing away.

Harry leaned back from the hug and kissed Holly soundly. At first one might mistake it for familial delight, but Harry held onto Holly's face, encouraging her to open her lips for a deeper wordless discussion. Holly pulled his hands down by the wrists and leaned back, giving Harry a patient smile. She said, "Harry, you're upsetting the children and redheads in the room."

"You're upset?"

Holly pulled a lock of her hair before her eyes and exclaimed, "Dear God, I've gone burgundy again!"

Harry snickered and said, "I like it. It's very... eye-catching."

Holly smacked his bum for that and then gave him a look.

Even without years of living as mother and son, Harry could recognise that sort of look. He then turned to face the rest of the room with one arm still around Holly's shoulders.

"Everyone, I'm... I'm really very sorry for being..."

"A twat," Holly offered.

"... a twat to you all. This is my Aun- er, my friend ... I mean ... this is Holly. She's here to help." Harry then grinned wide.

Ron sputtered, "Geez, Harry- it's like she's purged an evil spirit out of you!"

Holly tilted her head, then said, "Well then, I hope you can trust in my good intentions towards Harry."

"Not so fast," Remus said. "I, for one, am more than a little concerned with just how you came into Harry's life, what you've done with him and how you possibly could have arrived here."

"Sucks to be you then," Holly snarked, "'Cause I only answer to Harry." She turned his way and said, "Any questions whose answers you'd like to share with the audience?"

Harry hugged her again with one arm and then stepped back so he could get a good look- drinking from the visual well of Holly before it might run dry. He then remembered to ask, "What happened? Where have you been?"

Holly gulped, paled and then replied, "I've been trapped in Hell." She steeled herself, straightened her spine and then tipped her head back to make a defiant sneer. With an overplayed high society accent she drawled, "I s'pose it was maaaarely Purgat'ry, since I was able to depart on the merits of my extr'ooooodinary charms."

Harry snorted a laugh. "Yeah, but where?"

Holly dropped her act and said, "Stuck down the gullet of a dementor, Harry. A nice little portable Azkaban for Holly. Because I'm so special and God loves me." She was briefly overcome with tremors, but Harry hugged her to him again, chasing away her chills.

"And just how does one get out of a dementor's gullet?" Remus challenged.

She looked to Harry, who nodded for her to answer. Holly looked down at her hands. She spoke in an even, normal tone, a tremble of emotion yet sneaking through; "I'd fallen into a void, but the m-memories kept returning to haunt me, time and again. I've suffered through this in the past, but it took me a while to discipline my mind since it was under constant assault.

"When I could think straight, I remembered Hedwig and made myself a little Patronus of that memory. Well, with that poison in its gullet, the dementor spat me right out." She sighed in remembered relief and then added, "As soon as I was free, I came here. Had to find a robe first, then followed the sounds of the screaming baby." She then glared at Harry, who paled and looked suitably ashamed.

"A wandless Patronus?" Sirius scoffed loudly at that. "Not possible."

Holly tilted her head and squinted at him. She then closed her eyes, cupped her hands together and concentrated. Light shone out between her fingers from the center. She raised it up to her mouth and whispered, then rotated her hands to curve under the ball of light, revealing a wispy white owl the size of an apple. It fluffed its wings and lifted off, gliding a circuit around the room before settling on Harry's shoulder.

The little owl patronus said with Holly's voice, "Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana," then dissipated like smoke.

Ron looked doubtful and asked, "What is that supposed to mean?"

Holly quipped, "Obviously, I'm a Marxist."

Hermione let out a guffaw. Holly turned to share the laugh but Hermione blushed and recovered her composure, sending Holly a defiant scowl to declare her allegiance to the others.

"Yes, the Marx brothers, very droll. But how did you get here?" Remus pressed, exasperated, "This place is defended by numerous Black Family protections and obscurements, capped off by a Fidelius Charm cast by Albus Dumbledore, himself!"

"Harry's here," she stated, as if that was all the explanation needed. Holly then leaned over to whisper in Harry's ear, "I'll be around."

She turned back towards Remus, opened her mouth as if to say something... and disappeared.

Fred and George whistled in harmony, then said, "Oh, she's good."

Harry grinned and replied, "You have no idea."

Kreacher wandered by, mumbling something in his signature croak.

"Did anybody catch that?" asked Ron.

"'We're all stupid to be fussing so much over a guest' I think," reported Ginny. "He's more than a bit nasty. Sirius, why do you keep him around?"

"Because letting him retire means cutting off his head to join his predecessors, and I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction."

Ron shrugged, "If you don't take it personally, he's actually sorta funny. Kinda like Harry's been."

Harry might've been offended by Ron's taunt an hour prior, but now it only made him smile.

[[]]

Harry returned early to Sirius' room to sleep that night. Part of him was emotionally spent from the day's rapid changes in fortunes and feelings. The other part of him was just... giddy. When Holly appeared next to his bed, giddiness won out.

He sat up and slipped his legs out from the covers to stand, saying, "Holly! I'm so glad-"

"Shhh!" she warned. She then bent low and stalked around the room, eventualy making it over to Sirius' desk. With her back to him, Harry couldn't see what she was doing, but it became evident when a spiny petrified urchin arced back over her shoulder. It landed directly in the middle of the dog bed- where Padfoot yelped into action upon being nettled. A second later, Sirius himself was standing next to the bed, rubbing his belly.

"That hurt!"

"Whiner," she retorted. "Now, Mr. Black, would you do us the courtesy of allowing us the room? I'll come get you when it's safe to return."

Sirius made some grumbling noises, but Harry could see the smile buried in the protests. Sirius even gave Harry a wink as he exited into the hallway.

Once Holly had closed the door behind him, Harry asked, "So... you're not staying?"

"Why do you say that?"

"You said you'd tell him when he could come back."

"And I was careful to give no estimate on that. Could be sunrise, could be Saturday, could be September. Wand handy?"

Harry had hidden the ash wand since coming to Grimmauld Place, but his own holly wand was easily drawn from where he'd stowed it between the mattresses, handle poking out just an inch.

"Better than under the pillow, I suppose. Set up some privacy for us, then. Portals and then walls- ceiling and floor as well."

"A lot of caution," Harry said while casting the spells, "Is this for their sake or ours?"

"Ours. I promised you the truth. I reserve the right and opportunity to lie to everyone else until their ears bleed."

When Harry was done with the spells, he joined Holly sitting on the bed. They clasped hands and shifted so they could face each other- Holly reverting to her Indian-style lotus position and Harry with one leg folded and the other dangling to the floor.

"But you weren't lying downstairs, right?" he asked.

"Nor was I telling the complete truth," answered Holly. "The most effective lies are hidden between truths and reasonable explanations. As my partner in crime, it's best if we get to hear each others' lies to maintain consistency. If you doubt me about this, just ask the twins."

"So what were you lying about?"

"Well for one, I didn't think of Hedwig to save myself. I thought of you."

Warmth spread in Harry's face and chest. He couldn't help but smile. Holly added a kiss to his clasped hand just to put a ribbon on the gift.

"I thought of you to cast my Patronus, too," Harry said, "It was amazing- I didn't even have to say it. Which was good, 'cause the dementor had me by the throat. But seeing you disappear... I've been in a rage for a week."

Holly reached up and brushed a lock of hair from over his scar. When she did, there was a sound that echoed in his head, getting louder, but it went away before he could identify it.

He felt her hand against his cheek, cooling a prickly heat that had crept out from the base of his skull.

"And now you're calm. Harry, there's more to this than just you being a hormonal wizard. I don't want to say what I think until I know more."

It was like a switch had been flipped. Harry seethed, "Oh, not you too! When are people going to start telling me the truth, and letting me play a part?! It's my Goddamned life!"

"Hang on, hang on, hang the bloody fuck, on!"

Harry was breathing heavy and startled himself at how much energy was pumping through him. He was drawn out of this amazement when Holly splashed water into his face.

"You will chill out and you will listen, Harry; I AM telling you the truth and I AM getting you involved. What I am not doing is setting you off to worry about something that won't matter for months or years, when I could be completely wrong about it."

"Sorry. And sorry for saying sorry."

"No, for that bit of drama, you should apologise. Anyway, I don't have all the facts and I'll need to talk to others about things. Is it going to bother you if I ask your friends about you?"

"Why are you asking them when you could ask me?"

"Perspective. They've known you a while and can spot when things are different. Who do you trust?"

"You. Sirius, mostly."

"Thank you, but that's really backwards. Even I don't think you should trust me so easily, though I am, of course, a delight and utter treasure. But, you don't know enough about me. I've seen darkness. I've done dark things."

"Yeah, but... you tell me the truth. You tell me things that are relevant. You taught me an incredible amount of stuff in just two days."

"Hopefully it's the right lessons, but I'm sure others would disagree. Besides, we've barely scratched the surface. Now, if someone'd asked you a month ago who you trusted, what would you have said then?"

"Ron, Hermione, Sirius, the other Weasleys (except Percy) ... and some of the Professors at Hogwarts."

"Your friends are all here. They haven't broken any vows, have they? They didn't promise one thing and do another?"

"Maybe not, but if I had been in their position with them in mine, I would've-"

"Stop right there. You're blaming them for not knowing your mind, or not being you. It's unreasonable." Holly sighed. "Just... let go of your righteous indignation for a little while. Take a breath. You're safe enough for the time being."

"I am so glad you're here."

Harry leaned forward and kissed her. They kissed deeper. When Harry moved forward to increase the passion of it, Holly leaned back, leading him to crawl forward until he was propped above her where she lay on the bed. Her expression wasn't eager.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"I've been living my worst memory for the last week. It's a mood killer. I want you, Harry, but please... tenderly."

"I can do that. We don't even have to- I just can't stand not having you with me, tonight."

They did make love then, carefully and tenderly, though punctuated by Holly's off-colour humour. Cuddled together, breathing deeply but quietly following their exertions, Harry broke the comfortable silence with what he felt should be something worth saying. Something he needed to say.

"Holly?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"I love you."

Holly squinted as if pinched. She leaned in and kissed Harry for a minute. She then said, "You are a beautiful man, Harry. You have a beautiful soul, and I love you for it, but don't fall in love with me. It's a death sentence."

"Do you honestly think I can help it?"

"No. I suppose not."

He could see her eyes glistening, despite the shadows.

Holly made a grim smile, and then whispered, "Get some sleep. I'll watch over you."

"Will you be there when I wake up?"

"Of course. You may not see me here, but I'll be around."

[[[]]]