A/N: quick shout out to Etherithical, your words inspire me. I love your input. And yes, I do read your reviews

… and smile every time

Raven tapped on the door with her knuckles. For some reason she felt compelled to tell Jason about the words that almost escaped Robin's lips. She believes perhaps it had to do with the fact that their fight downtown was caused by this very subject. She also felt the need to say it aloud to someone- and to share this with any of her other teammates was simply not an option – for obvious reasons. She heard rustling behind the worn out door of Red X's so called home. He swung the door open, ecstatic at the sight before him. The biggest, goofiest smile took up half his face. But Raven did not meet his eyes with joy. She all of a sudden felt the urge to cry. An act she had only ever performed in front of her father, BECAUSE of her father. At the sight of her sadness Jason subconsciously gulped. Was she here to break things off? To leave him broken and left alone ?

Jason stepped aside and motioned for her to come in. She made her way passed him and sat on his old, yet surprisingly comfortable, couch. He took his place next to her… and place where, he just now realized, he wanted to spend the rest of his life. He took her hands into his own, staring at her with pleading eyes, expecting the worst the come out of her mouth. "Tell me what's wrong." She began to speak, doing her best to avoid sobbing hysterically. She wasn't sure why Robin's near confession was hitting her so intensely. Perhaps because everyone involved would be hurt one way or the other. Whether it be her, Robin, Jason, Star, or all of the above, she knew it was a messy situation that would leave all of them broken.

"You…. You were right… Robin, he wanted to say… he tried to tell me…." Jason became full of rage, but kept it in check for the sake of Raven's vulnerable state. So he said, in the softest tone he could force himself to use "Did he try something? Did he hurt you?" Raven became defensive, more for Robin than herself. Despite anything and everything, he was her friend, teammate, leader. "He'd never! He's not like that! Why would you even-" Jason removed one of his hand from hers, and placed it on her cheek sweetly. "I'm just making sure Rachel. If anyone ever tried to do anything to you… idk what I'd do."

Raven felt instantly guilty. Here she had come to him to listen, for support, and she was so quick to snap on him. She was unsure what his reaction would be. Especially after the rage she saw within him that night they fought downtown. But here he was, calm and caring. She sighed and apologized. "I'm sorry I'm reacting like this. It's just…. A frustrating situation… all around." Jason tried to lighten the mood. "I mean can't say I blame him. I mean look at you! Ahhhhoooogaaaa!" Raven let out a girlish chuckle. She didn't find the comment particularly funny, but his cartoonish sound effect filled her with a silly joy. Jason was slightly embarrassed, but her giggle made it worth it.

She leaned into him, resting her head in the crook of his neck. She felt his pulse quicken and begin to thump ferociously. He wrap his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "Rachel-" His sentence was cut short by his cell phone ringing. He looked to the run down coffee table in front of them. He'd have been more than happy to ignore it, but it was Jimmy. He knew that monster would be relentless in his attempts of contacting Red X, to the point he'd likely physically track him down within the hour. Jason sighed. "I have to take this…." Raven merely separated her body from his so he could reach his phone. She saw the name. She knew this was bad news. But she had to admit, ironically enough (seeing as she was a crime stopping super hero), that it was not her place to interfere.

He stepped into his kitchen and answered. He just didn't want the already twisted situation he and Raven found themselves in to be any harder than it already was. He noted the deep conflict she must of felt every time she was with him. No need to have her over hear his shady 'business' dealings. "Word is you're feeling much better. Odd… I made sure the boys knew to leave no bone left unbroken. Anyhow, I must admit it's impeccable timing. I've got a job for you. Come get the suit. NOW." Jason's stomach sank. Was he being watched? He hadn't even left his home since leaving the tower two days ago. Did this mean they saw Raven come here tonight too? The idea of her being invaded in such a way raised the hairs on the back of his neck.

Jason contemplated saying no. Raven needed him now. But if they were being watched, he was sure they'd burst in the way they did before. "On my way." "Good boy." He made his way back into the living room, his head hanging low. "I have to go." Raven naturally wanted to inquire, but instead simply nodded. "I am going to tell you everything. Every single thing, I promise. I need to-" Raven interrupted. "Jason, the less I know-" He reached for her hands and looked as deeply as he could into her eyes. "I need you to know me. Know why… why I am who I am." The depth she heard in his tone surprised her. Speechless, she gave a simple nod again. He kissed her forehead gently. She admired how he had refrained from going for her mouth. "I'll see you soon." As he stated this, he began putting on his shoes. "I look forward to it." And with that, she disappeared.

She had been back in the Tower for about a hour when the alarms started blaring. "Red X!" she heard Robin bellow as she sat at the kitchen counter. "He's been under the radar, guess he slipped up." Robin said with a half cocky grin. "If this is a sign of him getting sloppy, maybe we can finally catch him!" Cyborg said enthusiastically. This made Raven's stomach turn. Although she didn't know the whole story, she knew that wasn't the reason he was suddenly reappearing. She was ultimately facing, for the first time, her betrayal to her team. "Titans go!" She hated that he still said that after all these years. "I'm not going." She stated plainly.

Robin looked baffled, then angered. She hated that too. When was he going to grow up and get control of his annoyingly short temper? She thought back to Jason, and how just an hour ago he had forced himself to remain calm, though she knew the subject surely angered every fiber in his being. "Get the car ready!" He barked to the others, and they awkwardly dissipated. Now sequestered from their fellow teammates, Robin approached Raven, as if he were a brute. "On this team, in this house, the personal MUST remain separate from our sworn duty." An evil grin took over Raven's face. She stood and walked around the kitchen island to face her leader.

"Not every damn thing is about YOU! I said I'm not going, so I'M NOT GOING! Think what you will. Kick me off of this team, out of this house." She suppressed the scratching under her skin, the rage fighting it's way to the surface. "I'm your team MATE, not your slave!" They were almost merely inches apart. When she realized she was losing the battle within herself, eyes on the verge of glowing red. She calmed herself- and her tone. "It's not because of you. Not because of…. What was almost said earlier…. I just-" Robin angrily interrupted, a subconscious defense mechanism. "Fine! Stay! Leave your team, your family, vulnerable!" And he stormed off, leaving Raven broken in two. They were, in fact, her family. Such a strong word for her, given the lack of family in her life before joining the Titans. Please don't hurt them. She sent a pleading prayer into the universe, hoping it would reach Jason.