Chapter 11

Trembling, Shinichi took a step back, but his leg collapsed out from under him. He landed hard on his knees, pain distant. It couldn't be. His eyes wide and gasping for breath, he couldn't stop staring at the portrait, couldn't stop seeing the faces he'd tried so long to forget, couldn't stop comparing the man in the picture to his new friend, noticing all the similarities between them.

"Aniki? What's with the kid?"

"Boss's orders. He told me to take him when his mother was distracted."

"Think he's another experiment? Boss has had some of the non-codenamed members kidnap a few for the Apotoxin 4869 trails."

"Doesn't matter. Boss just wants him mostly unharmed—"

No! It's been years since he'd seen him, seen any of them, this shouldn't… shouldn't hurt so bad. The room spun around him and someone was calling his name, but he couldn't focus, he couldn't stop shaking. Air struggled in and out of his lungs, never enough, never enough—

"Shh, don't cry kiddo, don't cry…" Rough fingers wiped the tears from his cheeks, horribly gentle considering how much she'd already hurt him. "I'm sorry kiddo, I don't wanna hurt you, but Boss's orders…"

"Shinichi!" Kaito's face swam into view and Shinichi flinched back, away, he had to get away, to escape! Pushing Kaito to the side, he stumbled to his feet, unsteady and uncaring, and pushed out the door. His feet faltered and, as he wasn't focusing on where he was going, he fell.

Down the stairs.
Darkness. A car, from the feel of the seat. Rope kept him from moving too much, around his wrists and arms. Sobbing. Blue eyes, slim face, a voice, saying, "It's okay, little boy, I'm not going to hurt you."

Begging. Screaming. Blood in his mouth, not his, everything tasted like blood and tears, Papa, where are you—

He was saying something, what was he saying—!?

"Shinichi!" Dazed, Shinichi broke from his stupor to see Kaito standing above him again. He blinked and felt everything. Everything hurt, his head, his back, his legs… even his heart ached from going too hard too fast. But nothing felt broken, familiar enough with the feeling to tell instantly. "Shinichi, are you ok? You just started hyperventilating, and then you collapse—" Kaito babbled, reaching down to help him up—

"Don't touch me!" he hissed, surprising even himself. Kaito flinched back, eyes wide with hurt. Shit, he didn't mean to… it was just an automatic reaction. "S-Sorry, sorry." He stood up, leaning against the wall. "I-It's fine, I'm fine." He tried not to look at Kaito.

"Fine!? You had a panic attack and fell down the stairs!"

"It's nothing; this is hardly the first time."

"What happened?" Shinichi looked away. Kaito grabbed his shoulder. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but…"

He bit his lip. He didn't want to talk about; he never had to. His family already knew most of it since they'd been there, but… And did he really want to tell Kaito of all people? They barely even knew each other. And if the man is who Shinichi thinks he is, then does he really want to shatter Kaito's belief in him?

"I'm sorry, Kuroba, but there's nothing to tell."

Shinichi tried pushing past him, but Kaito fixed him with a stern glare of the likes he'd never seen on his trickster classmate. "I'm not stupid, Shinichi," he said. "You were looking at my dad's portrait when you collapsed."

So his suspicion was right. "Then why are you asking!?"

"Because I need to know!" Kaito shouted, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. "Because my dad was murdered when I was 8, I know next to nothing about it, yet you remember him well enough to have a panic attack when you see his face!" Face-to-face, Kaito stared into his eyes. "I need to know," he repeated in a whisper. "I know it hurts, but… please."

"I can't tell you anything good," Shinichi whispered back. Why was he even humoring him? He should just leave and never speak of it again.

"That's for me to decide."

Disbelieving laughter spilled from his lips. "Really?" he asked, incredulously. "You think one of the most traumatizing moments of my life can be rationalized, because trust me, I've tried." He took a deep breath. "When I was six, for reasons unknown to me… your father tried to kidnap me." Kaito choked on air. "I was terrified at the time, so I don't remember some details, but I know he was trying to take me somewhere." Shinichi closed his eyes. He softened the blow as much as he could. "He didn't hurt me. If anything, I hurt him; I bit him the moment his hand got near my face. But he was taking me somewhere, away from my family."

Kaito stumbled away, his expression heartbroken. Guilt and shame clenched Shinichi's stomach. "I… that can't be…" Kaito murmured. He shook his head. "No. I can't believe that."

"I have no reason to lie." Shinichi said stiffly. He knew this would happen. "I'll leave you to your thoughts." Without glancing back, Shinichi strode to the front door, exchanging his shoes and opening it. "Goodbye, Kuroba. Thank you for letting me use your phone."

The door closed with a resounding click behind him.

Omake:

Hunched over the dinner table, Kaito squeezed his head between his hands. He wanted to stop thinking, to forget Shinichi had ever come upstairs, or even better, had ever been there in the first place. Once again, his world had been flipped on his head. It was becoming a habit, he thought, a hysterical laugh caught in his throat.

He shouldn't have asked. He should have just let Shinichi brush it off, even though the other looked like he was going to cry if Kaito had so much as twitched the wrong way. Even though Shinichi looked like he had been swallowing his fears for years.

And what was worse is that it made sense too. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, telling himself that his father was a good man, that he would never steal a person, that he only stole to keep people from baiting his mother out of hiding, there was evidence that pointed otherwise.

Kaito's memories of his father were strong. He could still remember his smile, his voice, his hands, which were covered in scars, all the small nicks and cuts that came from practicing his trades. And he still remembered the one that Toichi never explained, an odd round one on the meat of his thumb, shaped unfathomably like a bite mark.

The sharp trill of his phone cut through the silence. Startled, it took him a minute to realize that his phone was across the room, resting near the sink where dirty dishes sat, waiting to be cleaned. It rang again and Kaito stood, picking it up and answering it before it stopped. "Hello?"

"Kuroba!" Oh, great. Hakuba. Just what he needed right now.

"What do you want—"

"Where's Lupin?"

"He left." Kaito checked the clock. "About… half an hour ago. Shouldn't you know this already? You're the one who's got him bugged all the time."

"I just got a call from Interpol." The Brit's voice sounded concerned, a first for Kaito. "His signal disappeared off their monitors and I can't find him on mine. He's missing and if we don't find him within three hours, Interpol's going to put out a warrant for his arrest."

His phone slipped through his fingertips.