AN: PLEASE READ END AUTHORS NOTE! I NEED TO GET SOMETHINGS STRAIGHT! -L.E-Rae _x_
I looked around the class for that boy- he was nowhere… I felt an unusually strange feeling of disappointment spark in the pit of my stomach.
Why? He was just a stranger! Stop it John! You're being stupid!
I shook away the feeling but felt a new sensation in my stomach… Hunger… God damn it! I forgot breakfast! I let out a loud sigh, earning a few strange looks from the girl in the front row. I didn't care- I just drifted my eyes to the clock hanging above Lowfine's head as he drummed the tip of his pen frustratingly against the desk.
This was going to be a long day…
Chapter 2- After the ashes, is a new beginning…
(John POV)
My stomach killed! All day it had just given me non-stop hassle of a constant, irritating 'purr'. So when lunch arrived, I couldn't resist getting the full meal… It was a luscious chicken madras that burst with flavour. The chicken was so tender while the rice was cooked to a perfection. I think I may get this again!
"You hungry?" Laf teased as he sat down on the table with me and Burr. He had just had science whereas me and Aaron had had English together- we just awaited Herc now.
"Yeah…" I replied slightly embarrassed.
"This knucklehead forgot to have breakfast!" Aaron called out.
"Oh my lord John! I swear you would- how you say- lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!"
"That's close enough!" I joked at his attempt at English phrases. "Where's Herc?"
"Oh he text saying he went to meet his Mum for lunch." Laf informed.
"Okay… Do you guys wanna hang out after school?" I asked, pushing away the not empty plate. I wanted to be anywhere but home tonight. It was just a gut feeling that if did go back to the house, it would be a terrorful night…
"Oui! I need to catch up with my squad!"
"Yeah I'm free too!"
"'K it's sealed then! I'll text Herc the plans…" I reached for my phone.
"Oh, no need mon amie! I have Geography with him last lesson!"
"Okay then, I'll just need to ring my Dad, you know…" I said letting my voice trailing off…
"Oui, I'll text Martha."
Without saying a word, Aaron too reach for his phone to contact his foster family. Unfortunately, Aaron was not as lucky as Laf had been in the care home system for a long while… Laf had only had one home- the Washington's- and they adopted him straight away. Whereas Aaron had been moved around many places, always staying in the same area of Virginia though… Lots of the families 'didn't like how quiet he was'- which was hard to believe when you had gotten close to him. Actually, when you think about it, Herc, Laf (sometimes Theodosia) and I were his only close friends… Almost family… The family he had at the minute (the Wilson's I think) were sweet, but quite impatient with how slow and distant he was… They were always trying to push him to join in with more social activities away from us and it seems that they are convinced that we're the reason why he never puts himself 'out there'- so there is always a chance he won't be able to join us.
As I quit my thoughts, I tapped on the contacts icon and scrolled to find my Dad's number. My father considered it to be an informality to send a text message so if you look at my message history, you will never find a single text message to his phone. If I ever did send a text to him, I know for a fact it wouldn't end well at home…
"Hello, Henry Laurens speaking." His blunt, gruff voice called through the other end of the line.
"It's John, father…"
"Ah John. How's the year started off?"
"My time-table is good and I'm in lessons with Aaron and Lafayette…"
"Lafayette? The gay one?" I could hear the saliva being projected out of his dirty mouth as he spat the words like it was an insult to an enemy who had slaughtered your family.
How dare he say that! How dare he!
I can take him calling me a disgrace. Me a worthless waste of space. I could handle him calling me nothing to him. Me not human but not Laf or anyone else. I don't think I could take that…
"Yes." I started and turned my voice to a hush, "And there is nothing wrong with that."
"Shut up John. I'm the adult here. I know what's best. It's not normal!"
"What? Just like it's not 'the norm' to have two heads or deformed limbs?! It still happens father!"
"That is completely different! The poor people who are born like that, can't help it! You and your gay friends can! Have you even broken out of that stupid faze yet?" His words were like a thousand, toothed, razors to my flesh. I could almost touch each individual sharp tug, ripping and dragging my heart of my ribs. My own family- blood… What are they? What am I?
"I told you," I whispered daring to speak my opinion, "It's not a faze. This who I am. I like boys' father. Please just except that it will never change."
The silence brought hidden pools of sweat streaming down my face. I had been told many times that I wouldn't be loved as much as the other normal people in my family. Because I'm different. My father was an extremely homophobic man, but not as bad as my grandparents were before they passed over a year ago… And especially not as bad as my Uncle William… I haven't stepped inside his house for two years as he refuses a 'queer' to contaminate his house- or even in his eye sight…
"John I don't have time for your idiotic antics. What does this call mean John? I'm a very busy man."
I sighed almost silently before gritting my teeth and blurting out an answer.
"I was wondering if it was okay to hang out with my friends after school, please?"
He sighed, contemplating his answer…
"Well, Martha, James and Mary are staying at your uncle William's tonight and I don't need you ruining my work with your Drama. Fine… But be back at no later than 9:30, agreed. And when you come in don't bother me and go straight to sleep." This was not a question.
"Agreed and thank you father…"
"Goodbye John."
Beep.
The line cut short and blinked away my liquid hurt. Starring down at the phone that had somehow morphed into lead during the heart-racing conversation. As subtly as I could, I took deep breaths to push down the croak in my throat… Was there really something wrong with me? I mean, George and Martha accept Laf but… Was it just me who had to be differently treat?
"John?..." I heard Laf say with caution, "Are you okay?"
"I… umm…" I stumbled, using all my energy to supress my swollen tremor.
"Bon sang! What am I saying? Of course you're not!" Suddenly warm arms had leaped and squeezed my chest to an almost oblivion. I swallowed even harder and melted into the hug. Short but sweet… "Was it your Dad?"
I self-consciously nodded, "Yeah… Him and is homophobic crap."
"Le crétin." He spat making me give out a weak chuckled response.
"Heh, yeah… I'm allowed out but I have to back by 9:30."
"That's understandable." Burr chipped in for the first time during my 'scene'…
"Yeah, can we please forget about this? There's no point in getting mad… It won't change anything… It won't change him…" I didn't make eye contact.
"Sure." They both pitied with hesitation.
From that point we all just sat in an awkward silence. Laf tried to start conversation a few times but it never worked. I mainly just continued a few sketches- one of a dove and the other of a sunflower (my mother's favourite flower and animal)- while occasionally checking the Instagram and Snapchat feed. The other two had every now and then, gone up to refill the coffee but I just stayed still… paralysed in my own thoughts…
After an agonisingly long hour, the bell finally rang and we parted our separate ways. Aaron went his Law class, Laf went to his Drama, Herc would have gone to Gym and I headed off to Art… Hopefully that would have cheered me up a bit- even if it was the first lesson of the year. Usually in Art we are always drawing, painting or planning a new masterpiece, but the first lesson of the year was always the worst… For most of the lesson we had to go over the curriculum, projects and lectures of the year. We also did a bit of history of foreign artists along with a general knowledge quiz to recap again us on what we were taught last year. Art was my passion so I honestly didn't mind. As long as I could smell the woody aroma inside a new tin of charcoal pencils, the piney scent that sprang from the canvas frame and the fresh pulpy smell of an untouched pad of paper just screaming to be altered by the soft, dainty, stokes that can crawl out of unseen depths of a page, I was satisfied.
(Lafayette's POV)
"Le crétin." I had spat appropriately- it wasn't a lie.
"Heh, yeah… I'm allowed out but I have to back by 9:30." John spoke quietly trying to dodge any more questions- even if he didn't realise it himself…
"That's understandable." Burr chipped in for the first time during this conversation.
"Yeah, can we please forget about this? There's no point in getting mad… It won't change anything… It won't change him…" John still with hid head to the ground. I'm not sure how but, John still loved his father… Despite the awful things that he was verbally abused with everyday about being gay, he still stuck around and barely complained. John was 13 when he came-out and didn't get anything less than a rant and verbal harassment from his father as I quote,
"You are mentally sick! What brought you to this? You better snap out of this fast! I can't even look at you. You disgrace. What are to the family? Nothing. Get out of my sight you gay queer!".
Yet, he still just stayed and succumbed to his father. Wait… Did he… Did he start to believe it?
"Sure." Me and Burr both said with pure reluctance.
From then on, we all sat in an ominous silence. Every now and then I would make small comments on our new maths teacher Mr. Lowfine but each attempt I made at conversation, John pushed away the opportunity. Soon I had given up and scrolled through social media posts- nothing out of the ordinary. Me and Aaron had exchanged sympathetic looks too each other but dare not say a word.
Towards the end of lunch, I signalled Aaron to follow me to refill our coffee and without hesitation, he immediately followed.
"What are we going to do?" I questioned with urgency as we were out of ear shot.
"I'm not sure… He's got it pretty bad…"
"I can agree with that…" I gave a glance back at him sketching away furiously at the books page. "Gee, I haven't seen him this down 'til il mère…" I paused for a moment. "Il mère passed…"
"Laf… What happened to his Mom? ..."
"He never told you?"
He shook his head, "No, neither does Herc. We assumed you knew but kept our mouths shut."
"Oh… Well, I think it would be best if he told you yourself. All I'm gonna say is that he was only 13 when it happened… About two months before he came out…"
"That's fine…"
Silence.
"Hey," He started again, "Why don't we go to the Ice Rink, grab a coffee and stroll in the park for a while? He loves Ice Skating!"
"Aaron Burr you are a genius mon amie!"
"Alas, I admit it…" He pulled out his best smirk and we both cracked up. If all went well tonight John would be happy… The main thing that made me happy too.
(John's POV)
"Come on 'ya slow poke! They're probably already waiting for us!" Aaron buzzed with excitement, practically dragging me through the hallway.
"Fine! Fine! But I do know how to walk by myself you know!" I joked as we finally exited the torcher hall crowed with jostling living traffic.
"That may be true but you do it really bad!"
I rolled my eyes at his funny remarks letting him carry on to where ever he was taking me. Burr's foster family got back to him at the end of History class and he almost jumped out of his seat in excitement as he was allowed to join us! In fact, I might have had to restrain him!
History was another good subject. It was full of true fact and was so inspiring that people actually did some of the things they did! Take Lin-Manuel Miranda, Anthony Ramos, Martin Luther King and Mandela- they all helped shape our world today and they became that famous that we now have actual subjects about them! Genius! Though I wasn't focussed this lesson… It wasn't because of my dad either… It was the kid from the lockers… He too was in Mr. Pendletons class…
Who the hell was this damned kid! Why the hell did I care?
I mean he looks lonely so maybe that's it? Laf was lonely… So was Herc, Burr and Maria…
Before I met Laf, Maria was my best friend throughout elementary. Neither of us knew anybody else from our kindergarten fore she had moved here from Spain and I had moved from England. Her family was quite unusual though, her parents were American but moved to Spain to give birth to her and her brother, so they already knew English before they moved back to Virginia. She did occasionally hang around with me and Laf but she befriended the Schuyler Sisters during Middle School and stuck with them most of the time. Until High School… Angelica made her choose between them and her brother so… she chose her 'family'…
Usually in those types of situations I would say, "Never choose the person who asked you to choose in the first place." … But in this case, there could be an acceptation…
I only spoke to her a few times each year now (mainly when I saw her beat up behind a school block or in an ally way). I did miss our friendship- a lot… But mainly because I can't bear to see her hurt… She needs some people who actually care for her and not take advantage of what makes her a person!
Damn you James! Go. To. Hell.
"Look who finally showed up!" Herc bellowed from the Ivy Tree Wall.
"Hey don't look at me! Blame it old Turtle Boy here!" Aaron called out and rushed to Herc who embraced him in an instant, short hug.
"No fair! I thought we had established that that name had been permanently abolished?" I tried to look annoyed but they looked over in disbelief and we burst out laughing like usual.
"Non! You will be forever called a Turtle Boy!" Laf chuckled emerging from behind the tall, elegant, looming oak tree and running to embrace me in a hug. We stayed like that for a while as the other two chattered in the background.
"Are you okay now mon amie?" He whispered down on my ear.
"Yes Laf… I truly mean it…I am now…" I whispered back up.
We both pulled away from the hug and smiled for a long time. In all the years we had been friends, I had never actually had a good look at his features. He had a very chiselled jaw line coated with a toffee skin tone. You could see that he had recently shaved the jet-black stubble neatly that was presented as it performed a well-cut shape along the bottom third of his face. Though around his lips that almost matched as the same skin shade, it was smoothly blocked away. His nose was quite refined to fit his quite large face as the bridge led up to join his neat, long eyebrows-the same colour of his all his hair. Jet-black. The top of his head was covered in a frizz of the black hair which had been pulled into a pony tail- though could easily be mistaken for a messy bun as to how dense each strand was. But then I couldn't resist and I had to look at his eyes- even just for a split second. Behind his eyes you could see the bubbly, lively, hilarious person he was and that was coated with a sparkling layer of a deep brown iris.
He was drop-dead gorgeous.
Self-conscious of how long I had been starring I pulled away from the gaze and flashed a smile back his way. I was probably dreaming but I could swear I may have been the smallest shade of red blush his dark cheeks- and I would have been lying if I said my face didn't feel slightly warmer too…
We headed back to where we heard Aaron and Herc laughing at something that had obviously been said during my 'staring-spree'.
"So will any of you tell me where we're going?" I chuckled.
"Nope!" Burr teased, hitting me with a friendly slap on the back, "You'll just have to wait and see!"
"This better be worth it!"
"Do not fret mon amie. Ce sera…"
Those guys were the best! I couldn't have wished for better friends. We all then laid in the dry park with our backs being tickled against the comforting grass beneath us. The breeze was comfortable along with the silence that had engulfed us all and I stared back on the events of today…
After around a ten-minute stroll up town of laughs and our teasing banter, we arrived at one of my favourite activities… Ice skating! The others think that I am crazy because according to Laf, "I can't go five minutes without falling over twenty times!". I don't care whether I'm good at it or not, it's just a really fun thing to do. Plus, I may have a guilty pleasure of "accidentally" knocking them over… It's all part of the fun though!
For about an hour we were gliding across the ice, whether it be on our feet or (more often than not) on our backs! Laf had stuck around with me more than usual, holding each other for support on the slippery substance- the cause of our laughter.
We then headed to a coffee shop just down the road from the rink and sat there for two hours letting the conversations flow with no scriptures. I ordered a Cappuccino, Laf had a Latte, Herc had a Mocha and Burr settled with an Espresso (our own little treats for when we were out).
For once, we had found a brown, leather booth and sat down still chatting at a constant speed. Every now and then, each of us would laugh at whenever Laf would try to flirt with the barista who kept our drinks topped up. I mean, Laf didn't mean anything by it, after all- he was one hundred percent gay! George and Mather were completely fine with it, unlike my family (other than my siblings, especially my big brother who moved back to London to study Law at Cambridge). The Washington's accepted anybody for who they were and would never even think of hurting anyone for who they wanted to be or who they already were. They never fussed over it however, they just let them get on with their own lives but never avoided the subject either. It was just… calm… Until we reached the park where Herc dared us all to challenge him at a game of soccer! Him and Aaron vs Me and Laf… I can't remember how long the time flew by as we ran around the park aimlessly like idiots, either trying to catch the other or kicking a ball to get in the makeshift goal between two graceful ash trees.
And I then laid there, under the quickly darkening, striking, fire toned sky with my head making contact with my best friends', reflecting on how lucky I was to be alive right now. How lucky I was to have such caring friends who were there for me even when my family was not.
"This is perfect." Herc smiled in his tone, "Right here. Right now."
"Yeah." Burr had moved just an extra inch toward Herc, "I can agree on that."
"Oui. C'est quelque chose que je pourrais m'habituer."
"Yes. This is something I could get used to."
I subtly chuckled- me being the only one to understand his French. "I love you guys. I wouldn't have it any other way." None of us laughed at my cheesy sentiment. We just stared up at the darkness sprinkled with an ocean of stars of the night sky that had somehow closed around us, feeling each minute pass by without any reluctance.
"Raise a hand for freedom…" I sung as if we were sat around the heat of a campfire, "Something they shall never take away… No matter what they tell you…"
"Are yes I know this one…" Laf said just above a whisper as I carried on…
"Raise a hand for the four of us…"
"Tomorrow they'll see more of us! Telling the story of tonight…" Everyone sung in a sweet harmony.
"They'll tell the story of tonight…" I went back to a solo.
"Raise a hand for freedom! Something they shall never take away…" We all joined back again.
"No matter what they tell you…" Laf quietly joined alone.
"Let us all stand our ground tonight!" Herc and Burr chimed in sync.
"Raise a hand to the four of us!" I soloed again.
"Tomorrow they'll see more of us!" We all joined together in a perfect tune.
"Telling the story of tonight…" Me and Laf sang in synchronisation while Herc and Aaron followed,
"Let us all stand our ground tonight…"
We all joined together as a harmony as the best of friends and sung our hearts away to the longest line, joyous smiles crowding our faces…
"They'll tell the story of tonight… Raise a hand for freedom… They'll tell the story of tonight… Raise a hand for freedom… They'll tell the story of tonight…"
"They'll tell the story of…" I sung alone for the final time…
"To~night~" We all joined in voices as we carefully sat up leaning against each other for support… But that's not what had grabbed my attention the most… Lafayette had slowly reached out his hand to place it against mine- the other two oblivious… My head turned at speed to look at his unfazed face gazing into the star lit sky, the reflection of the natural light reflecting a clear image against his glossy, brown, eyes… until he slowly turned to gaze at me our eyes locked… And he smiled… Just a smile… A smile that was contagious… Infectious… Magnetic… Electric…
Helpless…
But he didn't seem to care for the flustered blush swarming my cheeks with an internal plead for it to go away. No, he seemed to find a joy to my state…
Why did I act like this? What the hell changed? I liked Laf as my best friend, right? And that's the way he liked me, right?
Right?
Him being the first to calmly break the scene of our eyes, we both looked back up to the magical dotted sky- our hands warmth still merged. It was stunning…
"I hate to break this… well… beautiful scene but… It's eight forty-five…" Aaron said a little hesitant.
"What? Really?" I said using my spare hand to tackle Aarons phone out of his lap, not bothering to reach for my own. "Oh yeah… Dammit…"
"Well then…" Laf said standing up above us all, "We don't want to keep Turtle Boy's '#WorldsBestDad' waiting, now would we?" He flashed a quick wink in my direction.
My god! What was he trying to get at tonight? I mean, what was my problem with reacting this way?!
Trying to hide my flush, I just gave out a chuckle and he held out his hand to help me up which I gladly accepted.
"Yeah… Let's go…" I stated keeping my head low towards the floor…
After a few stretches and shivers of the cool thin air, we paced down the solid sidewalk. The park was about twenty minutes from the school and around another twenty minutes from the school to Laf's house, eighteen to Burr and Herc's houses and fifteen to mine.
Usually they would drop me off, then (because Aaron and Herc live on the same street) those two would part from Laf and head home while Laf would then carry on just a few more minutes until he reached the Washington's (most of that walk down the long, winding, drive).
But not this time.
Not this time.
As we steadily approached the corner of my street I had only just noticed it. I could have probably spotted it a while ago considering the expanse of the radiation reflecting off the ominous glow, emerging and outlining each edge of the surrounding buildings… Along with the mass of the heat being ejected from this ominous 'glow'… And then I stopped.
I just couldn't move…
"John?" Laf asked, first to notice.
I just couldn't speak…
"John? What's wrong?" He asked again.
I just couldn't think…
The other two stopped as well now, also questioning my odd actions…
I just couldn't function…
Soon they followed my line of sight and stood speechless…
I just couldn't deny the unexplained drop in my stomach…
"W… What is that?" Herc stuttered.
I just couldn't stop running…
"No John wait!" They yelled after me soon catching up but… It was too late… I saw it…
I just couldn't cope…
It was almost blinding. The sirens… The crowd of shocked neighbours… The raging fire… The house…
The house that was my house…
I just couldn't rest…
My feet ran almost as fast as the tears fell, pushing and shoving strangers aside and I crossed the bright yellow taped line… Heat of the storm of flames eating away at years of memories being torn and ripped apart, along with my throbbing heart from all the irregular and jagged breaths.
I just couldn't stop…
The blaze was calling me. It wanted me. It needed me… I was willing to run into the hungry mouth of the open inferno and I was so close to its jaw. To find my father…
My father…
He was home… Alone… Where was he?! Had he escaped?
The fire needed me but I was restrained by muscular arms wrapping themselves around my tight chest.
I couldn't stop thrashing…
My limbs broke out in a frenzy of pushes, air kicks and battles between me and this muscular being. Until I saw the stretcher… Carrying a limp body away from a scolding pile of bone-shattering rubble…
Someone way too familiar to me…
"Hello, Henry Laurens speaking." His blunt, gruff voice called through the other end of the line.
"It's John, father…"
No!
My limbs stopped thrashing and deflated like a popped balloon and fell limp into the muscular, restraining arms of Lafayette, with Herc and Burr then wrapping their arms trying to comfort my ear-screeching screams and yells.
I just couldn't calm down…
"DAD!" I shrilled across the street, "DAD!"
Each breath felt as if it broke each rib in my tightening chest. I coughed up my own furious tears and forced my nails to draw fresh, heated blood to my palms. I did much more than just cry because there was a rawness to it, the pain was still an open burning, wound somewhat like the raging inferno of the nightmare tattooed to my eyelids. My howls of misery worsening, trying to shut away the pain. It didn't work. Nor would it ever work. I was just being showered in his own grief, repeating the cycle interminably. The pain must have come in waves, minutes that felt like hours of sobbing, broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling me back into the iron cage of my heartache again… I could feel the sweat drench from my skin in single drops, ringing of my screams vibrating in my ears coming from such a helpless body, and the thumping of my heart against Laf's chest. I could only just hear my rapid breathing over the top of my sobs, but I could most certainly feel the oxygen flooding in and out of my lungs along with my body flopping to the floor in front of the crackling booms of the terrifying vision that was a reality… My reality…
I dared open my eyes a crack and the first thing I saw… The only thing saw behind the blinding salted water…
Was that boy…
His expression painted an almost exact replica of my own except for the tears… His face was completely dry but he was a bucket of alarm, fear, worry, shock, devastation…
But there was one thing in his eyes that shared no remanence in mine…
Relief… Freedom…
So as this mysterious boy stood limp in a pool of emotional ruin, I lay cradled in my friends' strong hold… So as this mysterious boy stood almost effected as me, I lay wondering in cycles of constant wet cheeks….
I just couldn't believe it…
Authors Note: Okay before I start I first need to thank you for the support this story already has! THANK YOU! And secondly, I forgot to mention these two things in my last Authors Note…
One: I am writing this set-in America and I am English myself so if I get something wrong please don't be mad! I have done as much as research as I can!
Two: I am using Google Translate for the French so if I get it wrong, please point it out!
Okay! With that out of the way… What did you think? This chapter was longer than I expected! Though I am satisfied! This chapter was a little slow at the start but I promise the next chapter will be full of Drama!
I do admit that the 'Story of Tonight' scene was cheesy but I wanted to put it in! xD
THIS is where it picks up! ;D
Oh and though this chapter had a lot of Laurette in, I PROMISE this IS a Lams story!
I can't promise when the next update is but I will try my hardest to do it!
So before I head off… I shall remind you…
PLEASE LEAVE CONSTRUCTIVE REVIEWS!
Thhhannnnkkk yyyyoooouuuuu 3
-L.E-Rae _x_