~ Chapter 13 ~

Snow fell outside the open window as Hermione sat on the ottoman below. Penny lounged on her lap and purred beneath Hermione's strokes. It's been two weeks since our trip to the supermarket...two weeks of silence. Just as she thought they were getting somewhere, she messed things up.

Penny let out a pained scream and Hermione jumped in surprise. "Stop pulling on my fur!"

"Sorry," she squealed and bundled her against her chest. "I was deep in thought."

"What's wrong?"

"He's not talking to me."

Penny stretched out on her lap then stuck her head out the open window. "He's a complex man."

"I just want to be his friend," she said. "It gets lonely being on my own all the time; I find his company to be rather enjoyable."

Penny turned to look up at her. "Perhaps he feels the same way, but he thinks that you only want to be friends with him because you have to be in his company."

Hermione let out a frustrated sigh. "Of course he thinks that!"

"I never said it was definite."

"You're implying that he might, which means that he's told you and you're discreetly trying to tell me," Hermione crossed her arms. "There's a fine line between a complex man and a man with no self-confidence."

"How about you try talking to him?"

"I-I can't."

"Why? Because you have no self-confidence?" Hermione narrowed her eyes at the correct feline, then focused her mind on something else.

It scared her that Christmas would soon be upon them. She wasn't fussed if she had to spend it with Professor Snape, but she wanted it to be a happy time for them both. I can't get him a present, so we should find something else to do, together.

She hoped that they wouldn't be at Spinner's End by Christmas, but it seemed unlikely that she'd be safe anytime soon. He doesn't talk to her about anything. A part of her was grateful that he'd kept her sheltered and helped her progress, yet she hated how close-lipped he was about Malfoy.

Is he still in custody? Has Lucius planned another attack from Azkaban? So many questions!

The only way she could see herself improving, more than she already has, is back in Hogwarts. She missed going on their early morning walks, enjoying the silence and his company. She wanted to go back to meeting him in the potions room for their daily catch-up. He brought her more comfort from behind his desk.

I want to be back in time for the Valentine's Day Festival. I wonder what ideas Richard has come up with? Even though she had no interest in love, she still wanted a project to sink her teeth in to.

There were many things she missed: being surrounded by friends, family and having freedom to roam. Perhaps when we return to Hogwarts, Professor Snape and me can become proper friends. In her mind, she had plans of more walks, longer chats and gifting presents on special days.

The library door opened and she turned to see Snape holding some letters. Her face lit up with joy and she raced over to him. "For me?"

He handed them to her with a nod. "From your friends."

As she took them from him, her fingers brushed against his. Something inside of her tingled and she gave him a funny look; he carried on as normal, and she watched him sit down. He looks bored.

She sat in front of the fire and started to open up her letters. Ron and Harry wrote about their adventures together, but she noticed how they didn't mention work. Whether they thought to save her the boring facts, she still found it odd.

"Professor?"

He looked up from his book. "Yes?"

"Will we be back at Hogwarts by Valentine's Day?" his face tensed up. Is it because I want to go back?

"I'm not sure," he drawled.

She felt like he was deceiving her in some way, and a pain stabbed at her chest. He's lying to me. Deep down she knew that he owed her nothing, but she still wanted them to talk about these things.

"OK…what about the case?"

He studied his book. "Nothing."

He's definitely lying now. When had he become so easy to read? Usually, his face rested in his passive nature, but for some reason, the lines of his face had softened revealing too much of his emotions.

Hermione debated whether to call him out on his deceit. I could, but that will only increase the distance between us already.

"He's lying," Penny strolled over to her. "For your safety."

I don't need to be sheltered, she complained internally. However, she managed to smile his way, only to find his interest was elsewhere. Notice me!

Her eyes narrowed and she returned to scanning her letters.

By the time midday came, Snape hadn't uttered another word to her. She was torn between crying and shouting at him. I wonder what he's lying about? There was the option to confront him about it, but she couldn't stand confrontation with him. He always wins.

…

Dear Harry,

I'll get straight to addressing your concerns — I feel safe with Professor Snape, no he hasn't been mean to me and, yes, I still enjoy his company.

Now that we've got that out of the way, how about you tell me about work? What's it like training to be an Auror? Is it exactly how you thought it would be? I wish I could see you again; I have many questions about your relationship with Sniderfield — what's his real name by the way? He's still a professor in my mind!

Love,

Hermione.

She mused over what to write in reply to Ron's vague letter. He also avoided the topic of work, and it made her concern deepen. They're hiding something from me. She scratched the side of her head and glanced out at the night sky.

They'd settled into an awkward dinner around an hour ago — as sublime as it had been — with thick tension in the air. Penny seemed to know something else was going on, and Snape didn't sense a thing wrong with her. He's ignoring me, and refusing my friendship.

The troublesome man kept his passive mask on and avoided all eye contact with her. It's not like she wants them to plait each other's hair and talk about their feelings. He could at least throw me a bone.

Professor Snape walked into his library with a sour look on his face. Hermione perked up at the sight. It must mean he has news. She watched from the window seat as he sat in his armchair — without a single look her way — and opened his book.

Her eyes narrowed. "Is everything OK, sir?"

"Perfectly well," he wasn't even trying to hide that there was something wrong.

"Any news?"

"I said I'd inform you, stop worrying."

"That's easy for you to say," she muttered, and returned to writing Ron's letter. This time she felt his eyes on her, scolding her.

"Problem?" he drawled.

She shook her head. "I'm perfectly well," she mimicked his previous words, and that seemed to get a reaction from him.

"I thought we agreed that you'd come to me after you had a nightmare."

"I thought we agreed to be friends," she clamped her mouth shut and scolded herself. Stop letting your mouth run away without you in front of it!

His book shut with a thud. "Is that the reason for your bad attitude?"

"Attitude?" she sighed. "I'm just tired; it's rather boring around here."

"I apologise for boring you so much."

She glared at him. "I never said that, sir."

He gave her a dry look. "What can I do to perk you up?" he asked sarcastically.

"I miss Crookshanks," she said seriously.

His mocking gaze faltered. "Your feline?"

"I know he has to stay at Hogwarts so people think I'm still around, but I miss him a lot."

"I will ask the Headmistress about getting him back," he returned to his book, but she could still see that something was bothering him. He gave up on his nagging thoughts then slammed his book shut again. "How are your thoughts?

"What do you mean?"

He cleared his throat. "Have you recalled that night yet?"

"N-No," she stammered. "I've pushed the memory to the back of my mind; I refuse to go near it."

"Perhaps that's a bad idea."

"What?" her heart felt heavy in her chest. Please don't ask me what I think you're going to ask me!

"To deal with scarred memories such as that, one should revisit it so they can get used to it if something triggers it again," he tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair. "I've had experience with it before, and I must say that the method is effective. I can help you."

She shook her head frantically, pushing the letters from her lap. "N-No!"

"Miss Granger, I mean no offence-"

"No!" she screamed, and all of sudden, she could see only Malfoy.

Her body tumbled from the window seat and her instincts told her to curl up in a ball. She repeated "no" over and over again. He was right, she was never going to be able to cope with anything that triggers the memory.

A hand touched her shoulder cautiously, and her screams increased as a pain scorched her skin.

"Calmessà!"

Hermione's body went lax. Her body uncurled itself and the hand on her shoulder no longer burnt. She reached out to grab his hand and he helped her sit up and lean against the wall. She brushed her hair from her face and glanced around the room.

"Take some deep breaths," his hand left her shoulder and she realised he had his wand in his other hand.

"W-What was that?"

"A calming spell," he grunted. "Take a moment for your body to adjust."

"I-I guess I'm not OK."

"That doesn't matter right now; I shouldn't have brought it up," he got to his feet and cleaned up the letters she'd tossed everywhere. Hermione watched him through sore eyes.

He's secretly a nice man.

Penny walked into the room and Snape looked at her for a few moments — clearly talking to her — and Penny raced over to Hermione and curled up in her lap. They stayed in silence for a while until Hermione's calm state caused her mouth to run away without her again.

"I miss everyone," he paused at the window sill. "Crookshanks, my friends...my parents. Yet, I don't want them here with me, because I know how differently they'll treat me. I don't suppose Harry and Ron have ever dealt with me in such a sensitive state...Ginny and Luna would want to coddle me. My parents — well, they'd never look at me the same way again. I think being here with you is the best thing that could've happened to me."

"Not being raped would've been the better thing."

Hermione gasped and stared up at him with tears in her eyes. She quickly pushed Penny from her lap and ran out of the room.

…

Her night had been plagued by terrifying nightmares. All of them about a darkness with arms reaching out to grab her. She called for Professor Snape, but he never came to her rescue. Perhaps I have to save myself.

Paws prodded at her chest and she rubbed her eyes with a smile. "Penny, I'm still trying to sleep."

She slowly opened her eyes, then gasped when she saw a ginger ball of fur on her chest. She let out a squeak of surprise and sat up in her bed. Crookshanks let out a wail of fright, but relaxed as his mistress bundled him up in her arms.

"Crooks!" she kissed his fur with a wide smile on her face.

A black mass appeared in the doorway. "Breakfast is ready." She watched him leave, then quickly got changed and headed downstairs, feeling a lot better about the events of the previous night.

AN:/ Hello! Thank you to everyone who responded to the last chapter! The next chapter will be from Snape's POV, so we'll finally have a small glimpse into his mind. Please, leave me your thoughts on this chapter!