It was late...or very early; Rodney didn't know or really care.

He made his way down the deserted hallway, his tablet tucked under his arm, his mind far away.

He found himself in the mess hall not remembering walking there, and found Teyla sitting by herself in the empty room staring into a cup; her hands wrapped around it on the table in front of her. He stopped for a moment, unsure, then made his way over to the table sitting across from her.

Teyla slowly raised her head, her eyes were sad, tired.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked resting his tablet on the table and pushing it aside.

She tried a smile, but it failed.

"Me neither." he sighed. "Ronon?"

Teyla sat back pushing her cold cup of tea aside and shook her head.

"He is not going to stop until he finds them…we should be out there with him. We are useless here, with still no signs... and Woolsey will not…"

"Look, okay…I've tried...I-I've tried everything!" Rodney stammered, his feelings of guilt interrupting her. "I mean, I'm smart, Teyla...I'm a freakin' genius! So why can't I find them?" He glanced at his tablet, the sudden feeling to grab it and throw it across the room echoing in his mind.

Teyla sighed and leaned forward grabbing his hand and holding tight.

"Rodney…this is not your fault. Our contacts have not come in yet, but they will. We are going to find them." She squeezed his hand a little tighter and in a show of emotion he would deny later, he put his other hand on top of hers and squeezed back, slowly nodding.

"I'll die before I stop trying." he whispered, his voice heavy.

The room was pitch black, except for a light coming from somewhere above him, staining the room in splotchy shadows. He thought he was alone until a figure emerged out of the darkness; the thin light touching long brown hair, but the face, an enigma in the shadows. John took a hesitant step forward.

"Who's there?" he whispered, then watched as the figure raised an arm into the light and point at him; a sudden high-pitched scream filling the room causing John to wince and stumble back. He knew that scream, it was from a woman; someone he knew…someone…He took a step forward, hands clasped to his ears.

"Who are you?" he shouted over the scream that was steadily growing louder. His eyes widened as the figure of the woman seemed to grow in height, her hair turning to a white that gleamed off the overhead light. Her face came into view as it entered the light and John's gaze turned upward at the towering figure in front of him, at its grey skin and feral eyes.

He was wrong…

…it wasn't a woman.

He slowly lowered his hands to his sides, mouth agape as the screaming turned to a shuddering exhale of hunger from the figure. He took a defensive step back when his eyes moved to the outstretched arm in front of him. Its hand no longer pointing, but outstretched with impossibly long fingers, palm towards him.

He shook his head in denial at the…

…was that a mouth in its hand?

The figure gave a low chuckle…

…then lunged at him.

John awoke gasping on the floor by the side of his bed, his bedspread wrapped around his legs; his night clothes stained in sweat. He kicked the covers away from him and lay there hand against his chest, panting in the dark; blinking rapidly against the fear that threatened to overwhelm him.

The morning sun had just crossed its way into noon when Odalia knocked on John's door.

"Odalia, it's good to see you." he smiled.

The old woman shuffled into his room, brushing aside John's help as she made her way to a nearby chair. Once seated, she peered at the brash young man sitting across from her and sighed quietly to herself.

She thought she would never see him again, that he and his friend would have escaped. Alas no...Lucius' iron hold on the man was too strong. She heard he had been taken to that room as his friend was. Now, he was…different. He was smiling, but there was something in his eyes; a frantic terror flicking through the moss trying to bury itself behind a façade.

This would not end well.

But what was she to do? She always knew the man in front of her was not Nahkhan; she had helped raise the boy from a suckling infant to the youth he was when he left for his "adventure" years before. The "adventure", she thought, most likely a way to escape the violence of his upbringing.

She was the only one who knew, besides Lucius that is. He had to know this wasn't his son. Several days ago she had finally decided to confront Lucius about it.

The look in his eyes when she spoke the words…

"He's not your son, you know he's not Nahkhan."

She gulped, remembering the darkness that had grown behind his eyes...and she had recanted right away; stating that it was her old eyes playing tricks on her, that of course Nahkhan had returned to him.

This man did have quite a resemblance to the Nahkhan she remembered, with similar features; they could have passed for cousins. She shook her head, concerned over Lucius' denial of the truth; but the fear of what Lucius was capable of would make her hold her tongue…this was not an old woman's business...from now on she would make sure to play her part.

"How are you, Nahkhan? You look tired." She watched him blink, a scent of confusion behind his eyes.

"I'm …well enough I guess."

"No more ramblings?"

John's eyes widened. "No, no more of that nonsense, I'm better now." he chuckled softly. "Arex has given me a clean bill of health."

"Not Sarek?"

John shrugged, unconcerned.

"Well, that is good to hear. How have you and your father been getting along?"

Odalia's brow furrowed as she watched John's eyes slowly lose focus as he drew into himself, lost to a conversation he had with his father…

It was a week before when Lucius had come to his room as he was preparing for bed.

"Khaval." stated Lucius, leaning against the wall by the door and watching John intensely.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, John was confused.

"I'm sorry?" he asked.

Lucius took a step forward, his intense stare never leaving John's face.

"Khaval." he repeated.

John slowly rose to his feet. "I don't understand."

Lucius' eyes narrowed.

"You truly don't remember your own brother?"

John's breath hitched. Brother? This was the first he was hearing about him; he shook his head slowly. "I have a brother?"

His father's unnatural stillness was making him nervous.

"Had...you had a brother."

Frowning, John stayed silent hoping Lucius would explain.

"I was waiting for you to bring him up, but I guess just like before, you didn't think about him."

Lucius took another step forward, eyes still on John.

"He was two years younger than you...the year you turned coward and ran away."

John flinched at that.

"You were to take part in the Games...you remember the Games, don't you, son? You, my eldest…eighteen years old...and ready to make the Daravilus name proud...make me proud."

Lucius took another step forward and reminded John that the Games were a show of strength that had been going on once a year, for over 50 years on a distant planet. Wealthy families entered in their eldest sons to fight in sporting events that were so treacherous, they often led to the deaths of many of the competitors.

The winner would gain a large monetary award and their family's name would be spoken about throughout the planets.

The year Nahkhan had turned eighteen would have made him of age to fight in the Games.

"Khaval was always begging me to be a part of it. He trained...and trained...he understood what it would take to win."

Another step closer.

"But I told him, no. It's your brother's birthright, he's the eldest. He will stand for our family."

John's breath quickened, he felt trapped as Lucius neared, his legs pressed up against the side of the bed; Lucius' dark aura locking his feet in place.

"The night before the Games were to begin, Khaval came to me with a note he had found."

Step.

"A note?"

"Found in your room addressed to me." Lucius's calm voice drenched the room in deadly tension.

"Father, I long for adventure, so I'm leaving to see if I can find it. Your son, Nahkhan."

Seeing the look on John's face, Lucius sneered slightly.

"Oh yes, I memorized it, then I destroyed it along with the rest of your belongings."

John swallowed heavily. "Did…did Khaval take my place? Did he win?"

Step.

Lucius was now in arm's length of John, his continuing piercing stare finally making John's legs give out and he sat down hard on the side of the bed, looking up at the man who towered over him.

Lucius bent down and cupped the younger man's chin in his hand.

"It was late morning by the time I awoke after spending half the night trying to figure out where you went. I went to talk to your brother and found another note.

Going to look for Nahkhan. I'll bring him back to you, Father.

One line...and he was gone. I lost both my son's that night."

Lucius removed his hand taking a step back.

"And I never..." he raised a fist at John, "Never, to this day could understand how you could do that to me, to run away like you did; a coward."

"What happened to him?" John asked softly, his eyes locked onto Lucius' face.

Lucius lowered his fist, his arms by his side.

"I searched for both of you. You? You disappeared. Khaval? Months later I heard there was a body of a young man matching his description… found murdered, in a ditch on a distant planet. The news reached me too late; by the time I got there, his body had already been burned by the townspeople as was their custom for the unclaimed dead…

…the unclaimed dead." Lucius repeated.

"This is all I have left of him." Lucius pulled at a chain around his neck, a gold ring dangling from it. "A present from me to him on his sixteenth birthday. They held onto it for identification, they said they did that for all their unclaimed dead; just-in-case loved ones, one day came looking for them…

Going on your adventure killed your brother. It's your fault he's dead, Nahkhan."

Lucius had paused for a moment then, the silence almost deafening John.

"The day I found you and your healer friend? The day of this year's Games. Imagine that…"

His eyes darkened. "You are the only son I have left. Don't ever disappoint me again."

The last line dripping in malice, echoed in John's head as Lucius turned and left the room. John had then lay on his bed, his eyes squeezed shut; the guilt over a dead forgotten brother hanging over him.

"Nahkhan?"

Odalia's voice startled John back to the present.

She noticed a sudden determined look in his eyes.

"You and your father?" she asked.

The smile he turned at her, made something inside her twitch with worry.

"I'm going to make him proud." he replied.

-tbc-