Days had passed and Carson quietly sat in a corner as he watched John examining the bottles of herbs in his quarters.
"You have a good set up here." said John. He turned and smiled at Carson who seemed to be trying to meld with the wall behind him.
"You're quieter than usual," John murmured. "And that's saying a lot. I haven't seen much of you lately, you've been keeping to the shadows."
He tilted his head slightly, "And you've been avoiding me."
Carson's eyes widened and he shook his head quickly looking down at his lap.
Frowning, John pulled a chair over and sat in front of the nervous man.
"You okay?"
Whatever past he shared with this man was locked behind a vague confused door in his mind, but he knew…he could tell that they had been friends. His gut screamed that at him whenever he saw the man's face.
"You look tired, Arex. Bad dreams?"
Carson's head flew up, his eyes locking onto John's. He opened his mouth, then closed it slowly and nodded.
For the past few nights he would awaken in the darkness of his room with a heaviness in his heart that he didn't understand; whatever dreams he just had slipping from his grasp before he could remember them.
John leaned back in his chair. "I've had a few myself." his eyes darkened for a moment, then he smiled and leaned forward shaking Carson's arm. "You are way too tense…speak to me, Arex; I thought we were friends."
Carson blinked and swallowed heavily, glancing around the room already knowing they were the only ones there, but still not being able to help himself.
"We…we are." his whisper was almost inaudible, but the grin on John's face was as if he had shouted it from the rooftops.
"Good to know." John smiled.
"Nahkhan what is your purpose here?"
"Purpose?"
It was the following afternoon and John looked up from where he was sparring with a guard, another guard looking on; to find Lucius standing in the doorway to the room they were in.
"The Ancestors have deemed it fit that you were returned to me, why do you think that is?"
John walked over to a towel on a nearby bench and wiped at the sweat on his face; aware that the two guards had fallen silent, their eyes fixed on him, their ears perked for his answer to their Sovereign's question.
"I..." John gave a side-glance to the guards, annoyed at their overt curiosity.
The Sovereign's son had been back for weeks, spending most of his free time either in the company of the mute healer, exercising trying to gain his strength back after his sickness, or as a shadow; startling many of the manor staff as he would just seem to appear out of nowhere, annoyingly stealthy, his eyes laser like, taking in everything around him.
Like father, like son, they thought.
"You were proud of me once." John shrugged, "Maybe they've been giving me another chance to prove that I'm still worthy of that pride. Have I proven them wrong?"
Silence.
The guards' eyes flicked from Lucius to John then back again.
Lucius gave a short nod. "Come with me."
John was led across the manor to a room with its furniture pushed against the walls; leaving a small circle in the center where a middle-aged man with thinning red hair knelt, his eyes to the ground, his body trembling.
Two guards stood silently by the doorway as Lucius and John entered the circle.
Lucius pointed at the kneeling man. "This is Elias. He was arrested for stealing some vegetables from a stand in the village square; he said they were for his family because they were hungry."
John frowned at Lucius. "Why is he here, in the manor?"
Lucius' eyes turned flat, his mouth quirking slightly. He cast a side-long look to John, then unholstered his weapon and offered it to him.
"The punishment for stealing, is death."
"Death?" John took a step away from the man. "For stealing food?"
"I am Sovereign of this land, when one steals from anyone, they are in turn stealing from me. He stole from me, Nahkhan…from your father."
"I…" John stared at the weapon in Lucius' hand then at the kneeling man and slowly shook his head as if in a trance. He wanted to please his father but…
"I can't…it's…not right." the words felt heavy in his mouth.
There was a moment of deathly silence making John glance warily at Lucius who had turned his back on him and the man who had yet to utter a word in his own defense.
"It's not right that he stole from me? Or it's not right that you should kill him for it?" Lucius' voice was quiet icy steel.
John opened his mouth to answer, then stopped and closed his mouth a look of confused apprehension on his face.
"Well…both." he replied, sounding slightly unsure.
Lucius turned to him.
"Both?" he echoed, his lips curling as if he just tasted something rank.
"So he should feel free to steal from me at any time as the need arises then?"
"There are other forms of punishment." John argued.
"Not for this." Lucius held the weapon up again. "Kill him."
They stood in a silent face-off for a few moments, then John stepped forward, slowly taking the weapon from Lucius' hand and turned aiming it at the kneeling man.
The kneeling thief...
This man stole from his father...
John gripped the weapon tighter, his finger on the trigger , eyes narrowing at the cowering man in front of him.
A criminal…
His father was right…this man was…
Elias sighed then, a shuddering sigh of resignation that echoed throughout his body; and John blinked, brows furrowing; then removed his finger from the trigger and lowered his shaking arm to his side.
No!
I want to make my father proud!
He just wanted to feed his family!
Kill him!
John squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head in pain; as he pressed the palm of his free hand against the side of his head.
What do I do?
What do I do?
"Nahkhan!" Lucius hissed.
John's eyes snapped open and he stared at Elias who was still on his knees, then turned to Lucius and handed the weapon back to him.
"There has to be another way." John said quietly, his heart pounding in his chest.
Lucius' eyes narrowed as he slowly re-holstered his weapon then turned to the guards.
"Take the prisoner and torture him until he cries for death…but do not kill him." Lucius stared at John as he said this part.
"Then go to the village and find his wife…bring her here and torture her in front of him until she cries for death…but do not kill her. Then…"
"Stop." urged John.
"Then, bring his son…"
"No!" John shouted.
"Then his young daughter…"
"Stop it!"
John turned to Elias, angry at the man for placing him in this situation.
"His family was hungry, he just wanted to feed them!"
"And because of you son, they will now all suffer for his crime and then be put to death, because he did not receive his righteous punishment."
Lucius motioned for a guard who pulled the quiet trembling man to his feet. As they turned to leave the man jerked out of the guards grasp and turned to John who would forever remember how green the man's eyes were in a face full of hardship and love for a family he had only tried to feed.
His eyes bored into John's and with a voice filled with resignation and regret he said…
"You should have just killed me…
…you coward."
Later that night, a noise jolted John from his sleep.
"Who's there?" he mumbled, sleep still on his lips.
It had taken him hours to fall asleep, the words of the condemned man echoing in his head.
"That you, Arex?"
Sometimes the healer would come to his room and they would talk, well he would do most of the talking, but overtime he had squeezed a few words from the quiet man.
But it was late, too late for a visit.
John suddenly became more alert, sitting up in bed and gazing into the darkness of the room. He cursed the smallness of his window which barely let in any moonlight and vowed to ask his father for a change of rooms; one with big open windows that let in air and light to make him feel less like he was sleeping in a dungeon.
Though maybe a dungeon was what he deserved.
"You…
…coward." whispered a voice from the darkness.
John lunged for the lamp by his bedside at same moment he heard someone rushing towards him; then suddenly he was grabbed, dragged from his bed and thrown hard to the floor, his breath whooshing from his chest in the process.
"S…stop!" he struggled to catch his breath as whoever was in the room straddled him, their heavy weight over his hips. When a large hand grabbed him around the neck, he just knew...
"Father?" he croaked, pulling at the hand to keep from being strangled to death.
"Disgrace." hissed Lucius as he leaned forward applying more weight against John's neck.
John slowly shook his head, he was starting to pass out. The last thing he heard before the darkness enveloped him was…
"One more try."
He awoke on the ground, in the dark…and knew right away that he wasn't in his bedroom; the chill in the air and echo of emptiness in the room were evident.
John coughed, rubbing his throat and pulled himself into a sitting position. A clicking sound somewhere in the room froze him in place; a sudden remembrance of dread stealing over his heart, and he wondered at the fear that clutched at him because of the sound.
Had he heard it somewhere before?
A sudden scurrying and a heavy weight knocked him onto his back, his head smacking against the ground.
And he knew then, the terror that blossomed in him was one that he had experienced before.
"FATHER!" he shouted.
And as his mind exploded in the darkness, John screamed.
Outside the door, Lucius' face held no emotion except for his eyes which stormed in pleasure and the hint of a newer feeling, sadness over hearing his son scream.
No one had ever been in the room twice; but he would not have a coward for a son. When his pet was done, he would find either a loyal son or a dead one.
-tbc-
Apologies if John is coming off as OOC, but he's not quite the John he was before Lucius got his hands on him. I won't leave him or Carson in Lucius' clutches forever, Atlantis hasn't forgotten their friends.