Prologue
(Laurens's POV)
The door clicked behind me and I let out a long sigh. Of what? I couldn't process... The tight, black suit was stuck to my partially burned flesh and I peeled it away to reveal bare skin. Bullet wounds. Reopened scars. Scolded skin. A shattered heart. It was all there.
Being a higher rank, leader of a squadron, I had the 'privilege' of having the first shower. Though I minimised it down to five minutes exact. The water and boiler in this place was easily run down so I made sure everyone I was in charge of had a good chance to properly clean themselves. Unfortunately, other squadron leaders weren't all so generous... Take Charles Lee. He spends around 18 minutes in the shower so the water runs out quickly for the others. Ass.
With a few squeaks of resistance, the shower wheel turned to a setting of cooler water (something else I did to make sure everyone else had a better clean). Without waiting for it to warm a little, I stepped underneath it, relishing underneath its heavy sprays. Before I had a good chance to open my eyes, the white potted floor was already drenched in blood... I couldn't care less. It stung, yes, though the sting was rewarding. Plus it wasn't the main thing to hurt that night... my chest felt incredibly tighter... almost shattered if that...
I couldn't risk to wait any longer than a few seconds for the droplets to absorb into the thick strands of brown (almost ginger) curls. Despite the weight of water drenching the hair, the ringlets still had a resemblance somewhere in the dense forest. A small amount of shampoo created a puddle on the palm of my hand which I then applied to different zones of my scalp. Thirty seconds in. Before rinsing it out, I examined my wounds. My left calf- battered in shades of blue to purple... The right side of my waist- bleeding constant gushes of blood from three grazes of what must have been bullet wounds. In the crook of my left neck- dagger stabs... many dagger stabs... I couldn't see my face, though the immense throb pulsating from different places about its fleshy structure, told me how bad I was beat up... Very, would be my answer... The last place my eyes scanned was my wrist and forearms, full of scratches, grazed and small cuts from the derby scattered about the battle grounds. Though around my wrist, four hair ties wrapped themselves like cobras around my veins... this I liked to call my 'secret-suffer'... I had to stop slitting my wrists years ago so I needed a way to calm down the pain... hair ties did the job... They stopped my blood circulation and caused a sore mark to imprint in a band around my flesh when they were removed. I would simply swap them around to my other hand before grabbing tweezers and pinching at the tender skin bellow... But tonight I didn't have time... I swapped them but didn't extend the pain farther, I had more pressing matters to deal with. The shampoo on my hair rinsed out quickly and precisely which was soon replaced with a strong conditioner. During this, I washed my body and cleaned the wounds to the best I could at that moment. The reason all these cleaning products were so strong was most likely because we could only properly wash after a mission... Well... That was the only time I took a full shower. Other times I would either clean in the small sink in my bunk or, rinse for less than a minute underneath the nozzle I stood now. Three minutes, forty-two seconds.
Suds that swarmed in the streams of water made a glossy layer upon my naked eyes, stinging with pin pricks. I couldn't care less. It was soothing...
I cleaned the shower floor as best I could before jumping out to wrap a now red towel around my body. Four minutes, thirty-one seconds. I whipped my plain clothes on, picked up my ear piece and walked along the halls with a completely blank face. Five minutes, zero four seconds. I was over my limit. Dammit.
Many people looked my way in sympathy, I just walked forward ignoring their whispers.
I could feel my shirt being warmly sodden... not because of the water... it was red... I couldn't care less.
The door to my bunk clicked behind me and I let out a long sigh. Of what?Hurt... Emotional hurt...
Another 'perk' of being a leader was the fact that I had a room to myself. There were two beds (for a strange reason I wasn't sure of), a desk, a wardrobe and a small bathroom (which just included a toilet and a sink).
Dropping my blood sodden suit in a basket, I staggered over to a small first aid kit in the metal wardrobe. I knew I should really go to the medical bay but I didn't want to see anyone at that moment... or ever again... Plus, others were much more damaged than I was... physically... I used up all the bandages on my battered being though I managed to limit out the antiseptic to my burns of which I added cold tap water. Not the best, but it would have to do. I didn't have the energy to care about myself.
My dull eyes brought me to slump down to my thin bedsheets. I didn't get under them. I didn't even use my pillow. I just traced the scratches engraved in the ceiling above. I couldn't care less.
My pupils darted about the room looking for an answer I didn't have a question for. My mind was foggy with complete darkness. The only things that seemed to light up were memories of him. His tear sprung eyes... His blood drenched body... His heart piercing shrills... The way his hand clenched around my own... tighter... tighter...
"Stay with me... come on... come on... stay alive... for me... for everyone... you can do it... stay with me... s... st... stay... please... p... please... stay... I can't do this without you... I... stay... please..."
Limp. No more grip. No tears down my paling cheeks. No muffled cry. Not even water attempting to prick at my eyes. At that point I couldn't hear the gun shots... the other shouts for medics... the explosions... Only a shatter from my chest... that shatter still splintering against my ear drums even now... Even though he wasn't there anymore...
"L... Laurens?" Laf's thick French accent stuttered through my metal door, no doubt with Mulligan stood next to him. I didn't reply. "We know you're in there..." His voice rich with pleads... "Laurens..."
"Agent Lafayette. Agent Mulligan. Report back to your bunks." I croaked still burning holes to the ceiling.
"Laurens-" Lafayette again.
"Leave. That's an order."
He sighed deeply. "Yes Sir."
They were both good friends of mine, but I was a higher rank. I still had control over them though didn't use that power very often, only when I needed to, I did. This was one of those times.
My heart wanted me to be alone despite my mind yelling that it would have been best to let them in. I was just too numb. He was the only one I wanted by my side... my best friend... my lover... who wasn't there...
The cranium floating about my head hurt with mist and unclear thoughts. Except for the one I wish would destroy or self explode. It was too much energy.
The low quality bandages were already full and leaking... I couldn't care less... Let me bleed out... Let me join him... Let me die... right here... right now... on these dull sheets... Make those sheets more vibrant with the rich tone of my blood... I couldn't care any less... Reward me. I dare you.
Heavily with reluctance, my eyes closed weakly to succumb to sleep... but the thoughts still stabbed at my minds never blind eye. I may or may not wake up in the morning. And one of those options seemed more desirable by the second...
His own dying eyes pierced me even though he wasn't there by my side...
Though with that... I couldn't care more...
Authors Note: Okay, so I don't usually do a Prologue but this one needed it x
It was quite rushed and vague but... here it is?
Yeah, the next one will be here soon and better (hopefully... no promises!)
Leave a review as they mean so much to me!!!! :D
-L.E-Rae _x_