"Maybe, it wasn't him." argued Rodney as they made their way down the path towards the village, trying to find Carson's face in the crowd.

"It was him." Ronon grunted. "He looked hurt."

"Hurt? But if he was alone, he would have tried to contact us, it makes no…"

"There!" shouted Ronon pointing ahead, then took off at full speed making some people on the path squeal as they moved to get out of his way.

Slowly making his way through the market square, Carson looked down avoiding the stares of the people around him, and of the few vendors who smiled his way but who silently were very thankful that they did not live in the Daravilus household.

The bruised and bloodied man was a reminder to them to obey the laws of the Sovereign.

A few of them motioned to friends as he passed by:

That was the new healer.

Never says a word…

…feel sorry for the cripple.

No, he can talk...chooses not to...can't talk properly…

I wonder what happened to him.

But no one made to stop or help him so Carson kept moving forward, ignoring the whispers as he wiped at the blood from his nose with his sleeve; gingerly touching his left cheek, the bruise now in full bloom.

He was wondering where he was going to go when he heard someone nearby shout out. He turned and saw a man almost as large as Lucius charging towards him; his hair wild and flying behind him.

Carson froze in fear hoping the man would turn off down another path…but when he kept coming straight at him, Carson gasped and quickly took a step back, then squatted down, arms covering his head preparing for the assault.

When nothing happened he chanced a look up and saw the legs of the man who had stopped a foot away from him, he looked higher and found the man staring down at him, a look of confusion on his face.

"Beckett?" asked the man.

Carson took that moment to stand and turn, his leg pulsing in agony as he moved as fast as he could away from the man, the vendors and the curious onlookers who had stopped to stare at the commotion.

His heart thudded in his chest as his mind prepared for a sudden attack, maybe a knife to the back or a club to the head. Maybe Nahkhan had changed his mind and sent this man to be his demise.

Hearing more commotion behind him, he tried to quicken his steps, but his leg wasn't cooperating. He glanced back to see that the man was now accompanied by two others, another man and a woman.

"Carson!" shouted the woman. "Doctor Beckett!"

At the sound of Doctor Beckett, something shuddered in Carson's mind and he rocked to a stop, noticing for the first time where he was; at the same hill where he had betrayed his only friend…he hadn't even realized he had been heading towards it.

Doctor Beckett.

He turned towards the people keeping his eyes locked on the ground as they caught up to him and slowly stopped.

"Carson." said the smaller of the two men. "It's us..."

He suddenly felt overwhelmed, they were calling him by that name…the name of the betrayer. He shouldn't have come here that night; he should be back at the manor with his friend, with Nahkhan, but now…he had no one and it was all his fault.

He spotted the woman's hand reaching for him and took a step back.

"Are you okay?" she asked sadly.

He pointed away from them, then glanced at the strangers hoping they understood, that he wanted to leave.

Ronon squinted his eyes.

"Do you know us?" he rumbled.

He quickly looked at them then looked down shaking his head.

"Carson." said Teyla gently. "We are your friends and we have come to take you home, to take you and Colonel Sheppard back to Atlantis."

Carson's head shot up, his eyes widened at the people in front of them, then he suddenly started to hyperventilate and grabbed his hair tightly yanking hard; looking around, he was now surer than ever that he would find Lucius and Nahkhan in the distance watching him.

"Stop!" shouted the shorter man reaching out to grab his arm, causing Carson to stumble back falling to the ground.

"Carson!" the woman surged forward reaching towards him.

He shakily held his palm up to ward her off as he struggled to his feet, his eyes wide in horror at the repercussions of what would happen if he went with these people.

He would become a mad man.

The fear on his face stunned the others causing them to fall silent.

He slowly took a step back, hoping the strangers wouldn't follow, then turned and started to move towards the nearby fields, away from the manor, the village, his life, his heart thumping in his chest.

Ronon shaking his head in frustration glanced at Teyla and Rodney as they watched their friend turn from them in a panic and limp away; grunting softly he pulled his stunner shooting Carson in the back.

Carson fell with a gasp then was still.

"What the hell, Ronon!" shouted Rodney.

Ronon shrugged. "He was going to leave."

Suddenly, they all went silent when a shouted message come through their ear comms; then they all looked at each other.

"Ronon, go! We will follow…hurry!" ordered Teyla.

Ronon not needing to hear any more, turned and ran off.

John and Lucius had re-appeared in a grove of trees near the Gate.

Slowly coming back to awareness, John grimaced at the pain rushing through his body as lay on the ground blinking up at the trees around him.

What happened? His father had been mad at him and then…and then…he drew a blank.

Turning his head to the right, he watched as Lucius adjusted a band on his wrist then looked up at the trees surrounding them.

John frowned. "Where are…What's…?" he began to ask pointing at Lucius' wrist.

"We're getting out of here." Lucius growled; the teleportation band he bought a few years ago had once again come into good use.

He reached down pulling John to his feet.

"Why? What happened?" John asked, as he swayed slightly before being pushed forward through the trees.

They were moving quickly, John trying to keep up so he wouldn't be dragged by Lucius' heavy hand gripping his arm.

Lucius was steadfastly heading for the Gate; he wasn't exactly sure what was going on at the manor, so they would be leaving and would return once things died down; his guards would protect his manor from whatever onslaught was occurring.

As they grew closer to the Gate, Lucius suddenly grunted and stepped back behind a tree pulling John with him; peering around the tree he saw two armed men guarding the Gate.

Sneering, Lucius pulled his weapon and aimed it at the closest guard.

Curious to see who his father was aiming at, John peered around him. On seeing the armed men, a strange feeling rushed through him and without thinking he struck out his arm and…

"No!" …knocked Lucius's arm sending his aim off as he fired.

Angry, Lucius elbowed John in the face, then turned back to the guards noticing one of them was radioing in most likely for help; so he stepped from the tree and open fired.

After some brief weapon fire on both sides, the men were dead and Lucius with a stern glance at John who had fallen to the ground holding the side of his face, headed for the DHD and started to dial.

"No, no…wait!" John shouted and slowly rose and ran from the trees, blood pouring from his nose.

He frowned at the corpses of the two men slowly stepping over one of them to get to his father.

"You tried to stop me!" snarled Lucius.

"No, it's...I don't know why I…you...you didn't need to kill them! You're the Sovereign, we could have bargained our way through!"

Lucius grabbed him hard by the arm.

"Bargained?!"

He pushed John violently to the ground, aiming his weapon at him as the wormhole behind him roared into being.

"A Daravilus never bargains!" He spat, kicking John hard in the ribs, then turned and started to walk through the Gate.

"W-wait!" John coughed, dragging himself to his feet.

"I was wrong! I promise I won't make that mistake again…and…and I'll find the healer, I'll take care of it!"

Lucius paused for a moment, then shook his head and continued forward.

"Stop! I've been a good son, I've served you well! What do you want me to do?! Just tell me and I'll do it! Please, I'm your son!"

The man turned and sneered, moving towards John and grabbing onto his wrist, the light fading from his eyes.

"You were never my son." he hissed.

John's heart sank.

"No, don't, don't say that." he said, slowly shaking his head. "I'll do better…I'll…"

With a burst of energy Lucius grabbed John by the back of his neck and pulled him in close, whispering harshly in his ear.

"I wish it was Khaval who returned to me and not you. I will never ever be proud of you!"

John's eyes widened at that and he watched as Lucius turned and strode through the Gate.

No.

No.

The wormhole disappeared in a flash of light and John was left standing alone in the clearing. He could hear the birds chirping brightly in the nearby trees; they didn't know his world had just ended.

"Why!?" he shouted.

"I tried my best! I did EVERYTHING you wanted of me! What do I have to do? I wanted you to be proud of me and you just LEAVE?"

He struggled to breathe as tears flowed from his eyes, his emotions overwhelming him.

"I'll do whatever you want!" his neck craned towards the sky.

"Come back! Please...come back!"

The birds in a clap of feathery thunder flew from the trees frightened by his dark sadness.

Then suddenly, from behind him...

"Colonel Sheppard!"

John froze, then quickly grabbed the nearest weapon he could find from the holster of one of the deceased men and turned toward the voice; weapon aimed at the intruder who dared come upon him, in this, the worst moment of his life.

Lorne stepped from the trees, into the clearing; his heart in his throat as he aimed his P90 at his clearly distressed leader.

"Sir, it's me, Lorne! Drop the weapon. Everything is going to be okay!" the man ordered.

When several men in uniform slipped from the trees, behind the armed man, their weapons all raised at him; John gripped his weapon tighter, resentment sweeping over him surpassing his other emotions.

How dare they…

How dare they!

Lorne saw the switch on John's face and quickly held up a fist, silently ordering the others to stop in their tracks; then he slightly lowered his weapon, the others following suit, and took a small step forward.

"Sir, it's me, Lorne. We're not going to hurt you, please…lower your weapon."

John glared at him silently, his eyes flicking every few seconds to the men behind Lorne, then resting back on the Major's face.

Sir?"

John stared at the man's uniform, then at the uniform on the bodies on the ground; they were similar.

They had to be Arex's friends.

Regret flooded through him.

They must have taken the manor and were here hunting him and his father down to end the Daravilus line.

…and he had wanted to bargain with them…

John's heart was crushed, his father's words echoing in his head.

"I will never ever be proud of you!"

John shook his head slowly, two thoughts echoing loudly in his mind.

I should have killed Arex when I had the chance.

This is all my fault.

Lorne grew concerned over John's silence and the state he was in and how the hand the Colonel was gripping the weapon with had begun to shake.

Lorne took another step forward; glancing back at his men behind him. No one wanted this to go badly, they just wanted their leader back; he had to find a way to diffuse the situation.

John looked at the hand gun he was holding, curious on why his hand was shaking, then up at the man across from him who had foolishly taken another step closer.

How did the man think this would all end? He wasn't going to let them kill him.

If only he could have gone back…done things differently.

"I wasn't the son he wanted," John said and watched the man in front of him frown. "But, that was your plan all along wasn't it?"

"Sir, I'm not sure what you're…" Lorne tensed as John took a step forward and tightened his grip on the gun aimed directly at him.

The P90 flew up, Lorne aiming at John, his heart pounding.

"Colonel Sheppard, put the gun down, NOW!"

He heard the men behind him murmuring tensely and quickly held up a hand telling them to quiet and to lower their weapons he knew they had once more positioned on their leader.

"Colonel Sheppard?" John echoed with a chuckle, that turned into a hitching laugh; remembering his previous delusions when he first returned to his father.

"Sir, please..!" Lorne urged. He didn't want to shoot his friend and leader.

"Put the gun…" The words froze on his lips as anger flooded John's features, then with a defiant look he surged forward gun aimed and Lorne thought…

Nononono!

"Stand down!" Lorne frantically shouted at John, his eyes laser focused on the gun in John's hand.

"Colonel Sheppard, stop!" he yelled, his finger twitching on the P90's trigger. Lorne heard his men behind him bristle and the sound of their weapons at the ready made Lorne's heart shudder.

It couldn't end like this!

John's steps faltered at the repeat of that name and he froze, staring curiously at the man in front of him.

He felt something in his mind shift and he lowered the gun slightly.

"Are you planning on taking me to Atlantis?" he jokingly asked.

"Yes sir, we are." Lorne replied, his body rippling with tension. "You and Doctor Beckett, we've come to take you home."

John face fell flat, his eyes turning frighteningly dark as he raised the gun once more, aiming at Lorne's head.

"No, I don't think so…" John replied and pulled the trigger.

-tbc-