Simon POV
Everytime I close my eyes I see myself being thrown out that window. Falling as Carly's hand tries to reach out and grab mine. Then the apartment explodes and they are gone. Jace pulls me up and I just fall to my knees.
I killed them. I am the reason that apartment exploded. The reason Carly and Clary are gone. The stupid mark on my forehead caused this mess and I had to get rid of it. I just had to.
I walked over to the mirror in my dining room and grabbed a hold of a box cutter. I looked at myself in the mirror and inched my hand closer to my head. When the blade was centimeters from my skin the mark began to glow. I tried using my strength to push against the force, but I wasn't strong enough and the blade flew into the wall.
I began to cry for the hundredth time that last three days when I heard the door open. I turned to find Ethan in the doorway, he saw my condition and pulled me in for a hug. I soaked his sweater with my tears and wrapped my arms around him. We stayed like that for quite a while until we both pulled away.
"Simon, you can't stay in here forever. You need to get some fresh air and sunlight." Said, Ethan, as I walked back over to the table and leaned my hands against it, looking down.
"I can't." I said as a tear hit the table top.
"You're a daylighter, Simon. I think that means you can." Said Ethan
"No, I can't." I said turning around to look at him through wet eyes. "I am dangerous. I killed Clary. I kill...ed Carly. I am the reason that apartment exploded and I shouldn't be near anyone."
"Simon, it isn't your fault." Said, Ethan, placing his hand on my shoulder.
I looked down at is hand and shooed it away. "Yes, it is. If it weren't for me Carly and Clary would still be here, Ethan. I am the reason they are gone. I killed them."
"Lilith killed them, Simon. Not you." Said Ethan
"Maybe, I didn't directly aim at them but they were behind the person I was aiming at. Everyone is in danger around me, even you. This mark killed my best friend and the girl I loved more than myself, I am a monster. Being a vampire is bad enough, but having this power adds to my monstrosity." I said
"Simon, what if I help you get that mark off your head?" Asked, Ethan, as I looked over at him with surprise.
"You'll help me?" I asked
"I will talk to Isabelle and see what she knows. You saved my life from Carly and I am grateful. The least I can do is help you get out of this apartment with a smile on your face. We will find an answer, Simon." Said Ethan
"Thank you, Ethan." I said with gratitude
"You're my friend, Simon. No need to thank me." Said Ethan
Jace POV
Since the explosion I haven't been myself. I can't sleep, I can barely eat, and the pain from everything I had done was consuming me. Images of what the owl had done haunted me and knowing Clary was dead because of me made it ten times worse. If I had been stronger and fought Lilith's hold on me she'd still be alive.
Earlier today Isabelle, Alec, and I went after an escaped Alicante prisoner. The fairy jumped into the sewer and I followed quickly after. I didn't think of the consequences and went running at him with no weapon. He stabbed me, Isabelle detained him, and Alec healed me.
This was the second time in the last three days I have gotten injured when it could have been avoided, but I didn't want to avoid it. I deserved all the pain that came my way, I deserved it all. When we returned to the Institute I went to my room and slammed the door.
I paced back and forth in front of my fireplace. I looked into the blaze as memories of Clary flashed before my eyes. Her smile, her eyes, her terrible dancing, and her ability to draw. I walked over to my nightstand and found her drawing pad, I flipped a page and found a picture of me.
Her signature laid at the bottom so beautiful and elegant. I slid my finger across it as the anger in me exploded. I walked over to the fireplace and pushed everything onto the floor. I knocked over my bookcase and punched a giant crack in my full body mirror.
I then grabbed the knife from my table and was prepared to stab myself. I neared the knife toward my chest when Isabelle appeared in the doorway. She walked up to me as she slowly pulled the knife from my hand.
"Jace, I miss her too. Everyday." Said, Isabelle, putting the knife on the table. "I can't even imagine what you must be going through."
"No, you can't imagine. You have no idea how I am feeling. How much anger and despair is flooding my veins. You have no idea whatsoever." I said
"Jace…" Began Isabelle
"Whenever I close my eyes I see what the owl did to those mundanes, Clary, and Alec. I see all the pain I caused to so many innocent people." I said
"It wasn't you." Said, Isabelle, trying to put her hand on my shoulder, but I took a step back.
"Maybe, It wasn't me, but I still have the memories. It was my hands that killed those mundances. It was my hands that almost ended Alec. It was my hands...that brought Clary to Lilith. I might not have been in control, but it was still me." I said as I headed for the door.
"It isn't your fault." Said, Isabelle, grabbing a hold of my arm.
"Tell that to all the people I hurt." I said pulling my arm from her grasp.
I left Isabelle in the room and then I headed into the training room. I punched away the rest of the anger that had exploded from me when I heard Alec from the other room. I cleaned up and saw Alec planning a mission to protect Madzie. I walked up and said I would get my things.
I made my way over to my weapons and saw Isabelle give Alec a look. I knew that look well and that meant I was about to get a talking to. I prepared my weaponry for the mission, but Alec had a different idea.
"Jace, I need to talk to you." Said Alec
"We need to keep Madzie safe. Can't this wait till later?" I asked as I tried to walk past him, but Alec pushed me back.
"No, this can't wait." Said, Alec, as he crossed his arms across his chest. "I think you should take some time off. You need to clear your head before you get yourself killed."
"What did Isabelle tell you?" I asked
"She told me enough." Said Alec
"Can we talk about this later? We have things to get done." I said as Alec grabbed my hand.
"Jace, listen to me. Getting yourself killed is not going to solve anything. If you die a part of me dies too. Don't die on me because if you do I won't be able to survive. Your death wish isn't just hurting you, but everyone around you. Do you think Clary would want to see you like this?" Exclaimed Alec
"I never thought of it that way. I'm sorry, Alec." I apologized
"If you ever feel like this, talk to me." Said, Alec, putting his hand on my shoulder. "You are my parabatai and my brother, I am here for you. Don't think you are alone because I will always be there. I will never abandon you, Jace."
"I will come to you, I promise." I said
Alec squeezed my shoulder and then headed out with Isabelle and Magnus. I have never been a sharer until I literally explode. I would rather hide my pain then burden those around me. Maybe I will get over that or maybe I will fall back into my old ways.
Clary POV
I remember a bright light, completely blinding. I could feel the breeze in my hair and Carly's scream as everything went black. When I came to I was lying on the couch of Lilith's apartment. I shot up quickly to find Carly sprawled out across the floor.
I ran over to her and noticed her chest rise and fall. I sighed in relief when the floor creaked. I shot up and found a man standing on the opposite side of the room. He was only a little taller than me, brown hair, and pale as the moon. What caught my attention were his eyes, they were almost exactly like Carly's but with more darkness behind them.
"You're awake. I was thinking of making some breakfast, would you like some?" Asked the stranger
"Who are you?" I asked as I searched the room for a weapon if need be.
"Can't you see the family resemblance? I am your sister's twin, don't you recognize me?" Questioned the stranger
It took me a second and then it clicked. The eyes, the hair, the pale skin, were all exactly like Carly's. He wasn't her exact clone, but they were so alike it was uncanny. The minute the realization hit me, my stomach hit the floor. "Hello, Jonathan."
"Nice to see you again, sister. The resurrection brought back my true face and true self. I am back and we all can be a family again." Said, Jonathan, with a smile.
"Where are we?" I asked
"Siberia. The apartment portalled us here to keep us safe from the explosion." Said Jonathan
"And Lilith?" I questioned
"Back in Edom where she belongs. Now could you wake Carly up while I get breakfast going?" Said, Jonathan, as he walked into the kitchen.
"Yeah, of course." I said as he made a noise of agreement.
When he was out of sight I ran over to Carly and shook her awake. She looked around with confusion and fear. "Are we dead?"
"No, but we will be if we don't get out of here." I said as I pulled Carly to her feet.
"What do you mean?" Asked, Carly, as a pot clattered in the kitchen.
"The resurrection worked, Carly. The apartment portalled us to Siberia before the explosion could kill us. Jonathan is in the kitchen right now and if we hurry we might be able to escape." I explained
"Where are we going to go?" Asked, Carly, as we slowly walked over to the coat rack.
"Anywhere but here. Once away from him we can signal the others to let them know we are alive." I said sliding on my coat as Carly put on hers.
We quietly ran to the elevator door and I tried prying it open, but I didn't have the strength. Carly shooed me aside and pulled it open with one swift motion. Snow blew at our faces as Jonathan walked into the room. We turned around and Carly's eyes went wide.
She knew they were twins, but she never knew how close alike they looked. They were almost identical and it just made her feel worse. I knew she felt even more like a monster, but I wouldn't let her get trapped in his game. I grabbed her hand and squeezed which made her look at me instead of him.
"Nice to see you awake, twin. You are even more beautiful than I had seen you through that other hunter's eyes." Said, Jonathan, as Carly tensed.
I felt her squeeze my hand tighter and I knew we couldn't stay here. I couldn't let him taint her when I just got her back and I wasn't gonna let him poison me as well. "We are leaving, Jonathan."
"You have nowhere to go. We are in the middle of nowhere. You will freeze to death out there. Carly might make it longer, but you will both collapse eventually. You won't make it." Said Jonathan
"Watch us." I said as I pulled Carly out the door.
We ran out the door to find the apartment had portalled into an old farmhouse. With one last look we ran into the snowy landscape. Carly lowered down so I could climb up on her back. After I tightened my grip we were speeding past the trees like a video being sped up.
Carly kept going for almost 10 miles, but then her strength was leaving her. She let me down and then collapsed onto her knees. Carly was breathing heavily, but she still had the strength to keep going. I helped her up and we walked hand in hand.
For awhile we kept a good pace, but then I was feeling the effects of hypothermia. I couldn't feel my fingers or my toes. My eyes were having a hard time staying open and each step felt like cinder blocks were tied to my legs. Carly noticed my condition, but even if she ran with me there weren't people for miles and miles. We wouldn't make it anywhere before I keeled over.
I suddenly lost my footing and fell down the hill we were walking down. Carly ran after me and caught me at the bottom. She was checking me over, but I wasn't looking good. My lips were blue, my eye sockets similar in color and I didn't have the strength to get back up.
"Clary, don't you die on me." Said, Carly, as she stroked my face.
"I can't keep my eyes open. You have to keep moving and get help. I will be here waiting for you." I said as my eyes began to close.
"We both know you will not survive if I leave you here. I have already caused enough people pain and suffering, I won't do that anymore. I need to make up for my mistakes and I am going to start by staying by your side." Said, Carly, as her tears froze on her cheeks.
"You aren't evil…" I said as I lost consciousness.
"Clary? Clary!" Yelled, Carly, as she tried to shake me awake. I wanted to tell her I was fine, but my frozen lips wouldn't move. I was trapped inside myself with no escape.
Suddenly a figure appeared beside us and looked down at Carly and I. "The only way she is going to survive is if you bring her back. There is no people around here and if you did make it to a village, Clary would be dead by then. You might not trust me, but I am all you have."
"If you try anything, I will rip your throat out." Threatened, Carly, as she bared her fangs.
"I won't try anything, I promise. Now give me your hand so we can get her back to the apartment. If we don't hurry, she will die out here." Said, Jonathan, reaching his hand toward me.
Carly looked at the hand for a long moment before placing her hand in his. He helped her up and then he picked me up bridal style. Carly tried to complain, but she didn't have the strength to carry me back. They began the trek back as Carly watched every movement he made.
Simon POV
"What did you find out?" I asked as Ethan returned from the Institute
"You're not gonna like it, but…" Said, Ethan, as I nodded for him to continue. "Uh, Isabelle suggested that we go talk with Raphael. She said he did a lot of research on daylighters and might have an inkling on how to get the mark off."
"Where is he?" I asked
"He is in Detroit working at some homeless shelter. I can portal us there as soon as you want to go, but you have to eat first." Said, Ethan, throwing a bag of blood at me. "I can't have you vamping out on me when I am not to my full strength yet. Eat up."
Ethan walked into the other room and I looked down at the blood. I hadn't eaten since I lost Carly and before Ethan arrived I was planning to just starve myself to death. That was the plan, but now I might be able to get rid of this mark for good. I had to keep my strength up till this mark was gone.
I drank the contents of the bag and Ethan opened up a portal for us. We looked at each other and stepped through. We landed across the street from the homeless shelter in some kind of park. When the portal disappeared I noticed Ethan was out of breath.
"Are you okay?" I asked helping him to stand up.
"It's only been three days since Carly almost drained me dry. I am improving quickly, but I am nowhere near my normal strength. You go in and talk to him, I'll wait out here for you." Said, Ethan, as he slowly walked over and slouched onto a bench.
I nodded and walked over to the homeless shelter, my hands in my pockets. I went through the front door and found Raphael behind the counter serving some kind of soup. He noticed me quite quickly and excused himself. I sat down in the table in the corner of the room and he soon joined me.
"Hello, Raphael. Nice to see you again." I said in a strained tone.
"Simon, I am so sorry for what I did to Heidi. I just wanted to walk in the sun and that thought tainted my mortality. I regret everything I did and I had no idea she would do something like that to you and your family. It's all my fault, I'm sorry." Said, Raphael, with regret clear in his eyes.
I still hated him for Heidi. He was the reason I had to compel my mother to think I was dead and the reason I almost killed my sister. I would never forgive him fully, but I needed his help. "What you did is unforgivable, but that is not why I am here. I need your help."
"I will do anything." Said Raphael
"I need to know how to get rid of this mark on my forehead. I have tried everything I could and nothing has worked. Isabelle said you might know something about how to get rid of it." I explained
"Why would you want to get rid of it? It protects you from danger, isn't that a good thing?" Asked, Raphael, as I held back the tears that were coming to the surface.
"This mark got Clary and Carly killed so no it is not a good thing. I want it gone and if you don't know to help me I will be on my way." I said getting up from the table.
"Wait." Said, Raphael, grabbing my hand. I looked down at him and sat back in my chair as he continued. "I don't know how to get rid of the mark, but I know someone who might."
"Who?" I questioned
"There is a legend of a vampire that lives in the sewers underneath New York. He is supposedly the oldest vampire in New York, maybe even the world. If anyone knows how to get rid of that mark, it's him. No one has ever seen him, not even myself, but maybe he just doesn't want to be found." Explained Raphael
"How do you know if he is even real?" I asked
"Aren't all legends based in truth?" Said, Raphael, as he left to get back to work.
I sat there for a moment and then quickly left the shelter. I met Ethan outside the building and we portalled back to the apartment. Ethan fell on the couch breathing deeply as I began to pack a bag.
"Did he know anything?" Asked Ethan
"No, but there is a legend of a vampire in the sewers who is the oldest in New York. Raphael said that if anyone knew how to get rid of this mark it was him." I said
"Are you sure he is real?" Asked Ethan
"It is the only thing I have to go on. The least I can do is check it out and if I find nothing then I find nothing, but I don't think Raphael would lie. I could see the regret in his eyes about all he had done, I don't think he would lie about something like this." I said I threw some blood into a thermos and some weapons just in case.
"Well, let's get going then." Said, Ethan, as he got up only to collapse onto the couch.
"You have done enough, Ethan. You need to rest so you can get your strength back. I will let you know what I find out. You can sleep on the couch while I am gone." I said as I slipped the backpack onto my back.
"I might just take you up on that offer." Said, Ethan, as he laid down on the couch.
"If I am not back in a few hours tell someone where I went." I said as I walked over to the door.
"Be careful, Simon. You have live for Carly's sake." Said Ethan
"Don't worry, Ethan. I don't plan to die today." I said as I closed the door behind me.
I lingered in the hall for a few moments knowing I couldn't keep Ethan's promise forever. Today I would, but once this mark was gone that was a different story. I couldn't keep living when I know I killed two of the most important people in my life. Once this mark is gone, I am done.
Luke POV
After Alec and the others left I paced around the Institute consumed by my thoughts. If I stayed like this I would go insane and I wasn't willing to do that just yet. Luckily, I was saved when I got a call from Luke to meet him at his motel room.
I decided to get some fresh air and walked to Luke's room. It was almost a half hour walk, but I needed the peaceful quiet. I found Luke's room and when I knocked he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.
"Jace. Thanks for coming." Said, Luke, with a tired smile.
"Luke, what are you doing here? Last time I checked you weren't living in a ratty motel in the ghetto part of town. Did something happen?" I asked as I looked around at the room. It was nowhere near a five star hotel.
"I had to take some time away from the pack. They made me choose between Clary and them, I chose Clary. I hope they will calm down in a few days so until then I am gonna have to settle up here." Said, Luke, as he scrambled around the room looking for something.
"Luke, I'm so sorry about Clary. I never meant for any of this to happen." I said as I looked at the wall in front of me. There were pictures, sticky notes, and strings leading from certain events. It was a map of sorts and only the desperate make them.
"No, don't be sorry. We're gonna get her back, Jace. I'm onto something." Said, Luke, as he pulled me over to wall so I could get a better look.
"What is this?" I asked
"This is what I have discovered." Said, Luke, as he grabbed a map and shoved it into my hands. "What if Lilith's apartment never exploded but instead was relocated just before, with Clary alive inside of it?"
"Relocated?" I questioned
"Yes! When I was a young shadowhunter, I remember hearing about a rare
form of inter-dimensional travel that demons used." Said, Luke, as he followed a trail of string to a weather map pinned to the wall. "At 2:02 AM three nights ago, at the exact moment of the explosion, there was a precipitous drop in air pressure that occurred in just one square block right at the building where Clary was being held."
"Luke, that doesn't mean…" I began as he interrupted me.
"So I...I...scanned the rest of the data, and I found one other time when that happened." Said, Luke, as he handed me another piece of paper.
"This is Harlem. This is where Simon found the Church of Talto." I said
"Yes! Yes! The time?" Said, Luke, as he pointed to the time on the paper. I could read the time, but I had no idea how this was connected.
"I see it. I see the time. I just, I don't understand." I truthfully explained
"It was right when Simon blew Lilith's disciples into salt. It's not a coincidence! Lilith probably sensed that we were coming and got the hell out of dodge!" Said Luke
I looked down at the paper and then back into Luke's hopeful eyes. "Look, Luke I want her back more than anyone but this doesn't necessarily mean anything. A drop in air pressure doesn't mean the apartment portalled. It could be a coincidence."
"The Institute has much more detailed climate data than I do. Can you please search your databases to see if what I found is true. If it is then Clary might still be alive, Jace. Don't you want to at least try?" Questioned Luke
"Look, I really think…" I began
"Take it." Said, Luke, handing me some of his data. "All I'm asking is that you look into it. I think you'll find that there's something there. Just give it a chance, please."
I looked into his hopeful eyes and I nodded. The least I could is check it out to see if I find anything. I won't get my hopes up, but if there is a chance Clary was alive I had to at least try.
Magnus POV
After protecting Madzie from Iris, Magnus and I returned to the apartment. I could tell it took a lot out of him because he didn't have powers. He had always been used to being the powerful one, but now he was the one who needed help.
"You know, I'm proud of you." I said taking a step closer.
"For what? For being so powerless that I was able not only to get kidnapped, but injured as well?" Said, Magnus, putting his arms across his chest.
"You were powerful enough to hold your ground and to keep your memories of Madzie's true location from Iris." I said
"That's not power." Said Magnus
"Yes it is, Magnus. Your power doesn't just come from your magic. It comes from your inner strength which you are overflowing with." I said as I placed my hand on his cheek.
Magnus uncrossed his arms and looked up into my eyes. I smiled down at him as I moved in closer. Our lips met with a electricity that would never grow old. His hands found their way to my arms, squeezing them gently. We held each other for only a few moments before he pulled away from me.
"I just still feel so humiliated." Said, Magnus, turning away from me.
"Why?" I questioned
"I was weak today. Having you and Isabelle rescue me, and being healed by Catarina. I hate that feeling of having to rely on others to take care of me. It makes me feel like a burden." Said Magnus
"You are no burden to anyone, Magnus." I said as I held his hands in mine. "You've been taking care of others your whole life. Sometimes, it's okay to let others take care of you."
Magnus was silent for a few moments before he spoke up. "Well, I'll tell you one thing. This is the last time I plan on getting beaten up. It's time I learn how to fight without my magic."
"Well, I know a thing or two about fighting. So, what do you say I help you out?" I said with a smile plastered across my face.
"I thought you'd never ask." Said, Magnus, with just as big a smile.
Carly POV
Jonathan carried Clary back to the apartment as I followed close behind. I was weakened by the cold, but I would live. Being a vampire had its perks sometimes. When we arrived, Jonathan laid Clary in front of the fireplace and got the fire going. I wrapped her in a blanket and sat her up against a chair.
I sat beside Clary, but being a vampire meant I couldn't feel the heat of the fire so it had no effect on me. I wasn't affected by cold either, but I could feel it if my toes went numb or frostbite set in. I rubbed Clary's shoulders to try and get some heat back into her.
Jonathan sat down at the table and watched us from there. His gaze was burning a hole in my back and I had to make him stop. "Why are you staring?"
"Seeing you through my own eyes is quite different than seeing you through Sebastian's eyes. I see the power radiating off of you and it is quite fascinating. I can see our resemblance now, twin." Said Jonathan
"We might be twins, but I am not like you if that is what you are implying. I might have power, but I don't plan to use it to hurt others. I won't be a monster like you." I said with a sigh.
He smiled to himself with a quiet laugh. "I don't want to be a monster either, Carly. Now that I am back I plan to make it up to you, both of you. We can be a family again and I can help you control your powers. I can help you be the good guy you hope you can be."
"How am I supposed to trust you? After everything you have done to me?" I asked as I turned toward him. "You tricked me into becoming the monster I feared most. Then I was saved only for Lilith to drown me once again to bring your sorry ass back to life. So don't mind me for being sceptical that you suddenly want to "help" me."
"I will prove to you I have changed." Said, Jonathan, as Clary began to cough. I ran to her side as he ran into the kitchen to get some soup.
"Clary, are you okay?" I asked as she looked around at her surroundings.
"Why are we back here?" Asked, Clary, with disappointment.
"You collapsed and there was no village close enough to get help. If I left you, you'd die. So our only option was to follow Jonathan back here. If I hadn't you would have frozen to death in the snow." I said
"You should've let me die." Said Clary
I shook my head and rearranged her blanket. "I couldn't let you die. I am trying to be a better person and letting you die would drag me further into the dark. It was the only way to save your life."
"Where is Jonathan?" Asked, Clary, looking around the room as she noticed he was gone.
"He is in the kitchen getting you some soup, but I have a plan." I said as I pulled out a dagger from my pocket. I found it right before we travelled into the snow and it might give us an advantage.
"Your going to kill him?" Asked Clary
I looked her dead in the eyes and nodded. "What other choice do we have? We need to get out of here and leaving on foot is not possible. If we can get rid of him we can portal the apartment back to New York so your friends know you're alive."
"They are your friends as well. You have had your dark moments, but they still care about you, Carly. Don't forget that." Said, Clary, giving my arm a squeeze.
"Maybe, but that is not important right now. When he comes back refuse the soup and when he stands up to place the bowl on the table, I'll stab him." I said
Clary nodded in agreement as Jonathan appeared with a bowl of soup. I got up as he sat down in front of Clary. I held the knife behind my back as he tried to hand the bowl of soup to Clary.
"Here you need this to get your strength up." Said, Jonathan, as he placed the bowl in Clary's hands.
"I'm not hungry." Said, Clary, pushing it back into his hands.
He huffed in disappointment as he placed the bowl on the table. Clary stood up beside me as he turned around. He looked at us with confusion as I stabbed my knife into the bottom of his head so the blade went through his mouth.
Suddenly blood began to flow from me and Clary's mouths in the same place the knife was in Jonathan's head. We collapsed as he pulled the knife from his head. Clary's eyes went wide as she grabbed at her throat. I tried to swallow the blood because the more I lost the hungrier I'd be and I wasn't going to hurt anyone else.
Jonathan used his steele to activate his healing rune and the pain stopped. Suddenly all of our wounds healed completely and his smile widened. He got onto his feet and looked down at us as we wiped the blood from our faces.
"We are connected, sisters. We are one." Said, Jonathan, as Clary and I looked at each other with fear.