"I'm here for my checkup."
Jennifer gasped, her coffee mug slipping from her grasp to the floor, dark brew spattering everywhere.
She spun to find the Colonel behind her, staring wide eyed at the ground.
The black brew, almost like blood, pooling…a broken body…crying out…
"I-I'm so sorry." he whispered. And at that moment, Jennifer could tell he was somewhere else, seeing something else.
"Colonel? It-it's okay…you just startled me. Come, sit."
She motioned to one of the beds and watched as he slowly moved towards it.
"How have you been feeling?" she asked, pulling out her stethoscope.
"I'm good." he murmured, looking up at the ceiling as she did her basic tests to his health.
"Sleeping?" she asked.
He paused, then nodded, eyes still towards the ceiling.
And your nightmares..?"
John's eyes darkened as they looked at her.
"Your screams have been heard from out in the hallway, Colonel."
Jennifer stared at him willing him to deny it.
"You do eventually want to return to duty…don't you, sir?"
John opened his mouth to argue, then closed it with a frown, his eyes narrowing.
The doctor gave a terse nod of satisfaction.
"You don't have to stand on bravado with anyone, Colonel; not even with yourself. We're here for you."
A few evenings passed and Rodney was on his way to John's quarters, his tablet in one hand bag of snacks in the other. He was hoping John would finally open up and not be the silent brooding man he'd been the other nights Rodney tried to stay with him; when he was actually in his room and not wandering the halls.
He spotted Odalia and a guard walking towards him.
"Mr. McKay." smiled the old woman.
Rodney winced at the "Mr."
"Odalia." he nodded. "I'm just on my way to Sheppard's room." He pointed down the hall in a hurry to be on his way.
She nodded. "I have not yet been given permission to see him again."
"I know…it's not really the best time for you to visit. Maybe soon…you should talk to Woolsey about it."
"I will…I-I just feel I'm beginning to overstay my welcome."
Rodney who was staring past her down the hallway nodded, his eyes flicking to hers.
"Talk to Woolsey. I'm sure it's fine." he motioned he had to go and she smiled.
"Thank you, Mr. McKay. I will."
Rodney winced again at the "Mr." but nodded with a quick smile and went on his way.
Traitor..!
…ruined everything..!
Unwanted..!
…Get Out!
Carson woke with a scream lodged in his throat to find himself standing and banging his fists against the wall near his bed, his heart thundering in his chest.
"I ruined everything…" he sobbed quietly.
"Everything."
Over in a corner of the room, Ronon slowly opened his eyes and sighed; Carson was up again with another nightmare. He stretched his long legs out from where he sat against the wall and stood, trying to figure out how he'd get his friend back into bed this time without sedatives being involved.
He'd have to say something to Jennifer; the night nurse who was a recent transfer to Atlantis was a little too free with that syringe of hers; sedating Carson when she felt he was getting himself too riled up.
As he took a step towards Carson he froze, his mouth falling open…
Carson said something…
I ruined everything?
Ronon looked up at the observation room and violently shook his head, raising the palm of his hand out at the night nurse, who was standing staring at them holding her syringe. She frowned, nodded then sat back down, her eyes never leaving the scene in front of her.
He wished Teyla was there; she would know what to do, what to say. The team was taking turns watching over John and Carson, tonight was Teyla's night off.
Rodney was staying with John and was probably having a hard time; the Colonel was not one to stay cooped up.
Ronon and Teyla had followed John on occasion to keep an eye on him; but he must have known as he kept finding longer corridors and deeper places within Atlantis to wander until the life signs detector could barely pick up his transponder, and even Ronon would lose track of him.
"It's like the city is helping him hide." muttered Ronon.
"He wants to be alone". Rodney had said as the team and Woolsey stared at the monitor in front of them, and the faint blip coming from deep within Atlantis.
"However, he should not be." sighed Teyla.
"Tell that to him!" Rodney pointed at the blip. "Oh wait, we already did that!"
"Keep an eye on him." Woolsey said to Rodney pointing at the screen. "I don't want to put him under lockdown, because he always comes back when he's done wandering, but I want to make sure…"
"I've already taken care of it. I've programmed the system to follow his movements and to set an alarm if he goes too out of range."
Woolsey nodded and stared at the slow moving blip.
"We need you back, Sheppard." he whispered.
Ronon slowly moved towards Carson as his banging on the wall increased as did the words finally flowing from him.
"M'sorry…my fault m'lord…I deserved it…shoulda killed …I deserved it…I deserve…"
Ronon reached him and hesitantly grabbed his shoulder turning him around.
"Beckett?"
Disoriented, Carson continued to beat his fists, now on Ronon's chest, tears running down his face.
"I'm sorry…m'sorry…"
Ronon grabbed his arms and gently shook him.
"Beckett!"
Carson froze with a gasp and looked up to see a tall man in front of him, large hands on his arms…
The Sovereign!
…and he pulled away, his back slamming against the wall and dropped to the ground legs outstretched, and started to slide away from Ronon.
"No..!"
Ronon looked over as the door opened and the night nurse and guard rushed in.
He held up a hand and they moved over to a corner of the room to keep watch and ready if they were needed.
Teyla should be here; he was not cut out for his. But this was the break they were all hoping for…Carson was finally speaking!
And thought he was Daravilus…
…the guy who hurt him.
Ronon sighed and slowly sat on the floor in front of his friend waiting until the doctor's breathing quieted down some.
"Beckett." he murmured.
No response.
"Hey!" he said, his voice stern, gently squeezing Carson's arm.
Carson looked up in alarm, his eyes frantic.
"Sovereign…I..!"
"Stop!" ordered Ronon.
Carson's eyes flicked unfocused at him then around the room.
"No, it's..!"
Ronon leaned over and placed his hands on either side of Carson's face to hold him still.
"Look at me!" he said, his voice low but direct.
Carson struggled for a moment then stilled, his frantic eyes falling on Ronon's face.
Ronon turned and motioned with his head to the guard to turn on the main lights.
Seconds later, Carson squinted at the bright onslaught and started to struggle again, but Ronon held him firm.
"Get Keller and Teyla in here!" he whispered harshly without turning away from his friend.
"Dr. Keller has been called." said the nurse from the corner of the room.
"Teyla, too!" he ordered trying to keep his voice even.
There was a pause, then Ronon heard the nurse turn and leave, the guard staying behind.
Ronon stared at Carson. "Beckett, I'm not him…I'm not Daravilus!"
The doctor tried to turn his face away, but Ronon held firm.
"Whatever he told you was a lie. Your name is Carson Beckett, you're a doctor. You and Sheppard were taken from us but we got you back!"
"…betrayed you…betrayed Nahkhan…he shoulda killed me…he shoulda…" Carson's gaze faltered so Ronon gave him another shake.
"Doc…it's me, Ronon! Remember me? You saved my a long time ago; do you remember? I was a runner for years, then one day I met you, Teyla and Sheppard and you took the Wraith tracker out of me and I could finally stop running. I finally had my freedom and it was because of you!"
Ronon could see the confusion and fear on his friend's tired face.
"You're safe…Sheppard is safe. You didn't betray anyone!"
Carson stared past Ronon.
"He…said I was un…un…a-and…and…he should have killed me, but stopped." he whispered.
Ronon could see Carson was shutting down.
"Who stopped? Daravilus?"
Carson's eyes had started to droop so Ronon gave him another shake.
"Who was hurting you?"
Carson's eyes blinked opened for a moment and he stared at Ronon.
"R-Ronon?"
Ronon's eyes widened. "Yeah, it's me!"
Carson's face held his astonishment.
"Atlantis…it-it's real?"
Carson's surprised voice was barely a whisper now as Ronon watched him close his eyes, sleep claiming him.
Humming to himself Rodney rang John's door. A few seconds passed and with no response, he tucked his snack bag under his arm and banged on the door.
"Sheppard, come on, open up!"
With still no response, Rodney sighed and removed the panel next to John's door. A few moments later the door swished open and he stepped inside.
"Sheppard?"
He could feel the emptiness in the room, even before the lights flickered on.
Sighing he moved over to John's untouched bed and sat on its edge.
"Where are you?" he whispered, tapping on his tablet and seeing the lone blip moving through the lower part of the city.
"Damn it, Sheppard. Let us help you!"
Ronon was lifting Carson back onto his bed just as the door to the room opened and Jennifer and Teyla ran in.
"He talked? The nurse said he spoke, did you hear what he said?" Jennifer asked as she moved over to the bed, Teyla following.
"Is he alright?" Teyla asked him.
"Yeah, just sleeping; I think he remembered me."
Jennifer shook her head in awe at the Satedan.
"You got him to speak!" she smiled looking up from Carson.
Ronon nodded uncomfortably. "Is Sheppard okay?
Teyla was confused. "Is he not with Rodney?"
"No, he is not." Rodney answered as he entered the room.
"Sheppard has decided to wander again." he tapped on his tablet's screen.
"I heard something happened with Carson," he looked over at the bed.
"Is he okay?"
Teyla nodded. "He spoke to Ronon."
"What? Really?" said Rodney, surprise and curiosity in his voice as he looked at the Satedan.
"How'd you get him to speak? You barely speak!"
Ronon glowered at him.
"I'm curious as well." said Jennifer. "How did you get him to speak?"
The warrior shrugged. "He had a nightmare then things spiraled after that. He thought I was Daravilus."
They all stared at him in shock.
"What did he say, Ronon." Keller asked softly.
Ronon stared back at them.
"We need to find Sheppard." he replied.
-tbc-
There are a few chapters left to go, then the story will be done. Will John and Carson end up okay? Stay tuned…