Teyla sighed as she sat down at the mess table.

"Any luck?" muttered Ronon.

She shook her head; it had been three days since the planet and John still hadn't said a word.

Not to Woolsey, Jennifer, who looked him over in the infirmary, or even Odalia; John wouldn't even acknowledge her presence.

"I'm sorry, Odalia; he's just in a bad place right now." offered Woolsey as they left John's quarters.

"No, it's my fault, I've done nothing for him being here. I should have been more brave; I should have stood up to what I believed to be true and helped him sooner. I knew he wasn't Lucius' son; it was my weakness that hurt him. Please…tell him I'm sorry.

She asked to return home and Woolsey agreed telling her he would let John know where she was.

John had shut everyone out; even his team who took turns visiting him in his quarters where he was under guard, his lack of cooperation making Woolsey nervous.

Teyla looked over at Rodney who started tapping his fingers on the side of his plate, then uncharacteristically pushed his unfinished meal away.

"Is he still holding onto that ring?" he asked.

Teyla nodded. "I do not think he has let it go since our return."

They all sat in silence for a moment.

"I fear he is experiencing grief," said Teyla.

They had learned from Sion after returning to Navis without John, the rituals his people had for bodies that went unclaimed.

"My people take this honor very seriously; these unclaimed, criminals or not, were someone's fathers, mothers, children. The items we keep are a part of them that lives on, hopefully one day to be claimed by a family member or to stay in a place of honor with us."

They learned the story behind the ring from Carson.

"It was…was his brother's ring…I mean N-Nahkhan's brother's ring. He d-died a long time ago…went looking for Nahkhan…n-never came home. J-John told me Lucius wore the ring on a chain around his…n-neck."

"Grief? Over Daravilus? Why?" asked Ronon, incredulous. "The man tortured him and Beckett for months! Why would Sheppard care if he was dead?"

"Because for a few months," sighed Teyla sadly. "Daravilus was not his torturer, but his father."

Rodney abruptly stood up. "That's ridiculous! I'm going to try to talk to him again. He's not thinking properly and this whole selective mute thing has got to stop!"

"Rodney, I…" started Teyla.

An alarm sounded on Rodney's tablet.

He looked down at it, his eyes widening.

"No! No! No!" he exclaimed.

"What's wrong?" asked Ronon.

Rodney grabbed the tablet, turned and hurried off, Teyla and Ronon behind him.

The guard outside John's door eyed them warily as they approached.

"What are you doing?" asked Rodney to the armed man.

"Sir?"

"Move." growled Ronon.

The guard stepped aside and the team entered John's room…his empty room.

"Damn it, Sheppard." Ronon muttered.

The guard entered looking around.

"But how…I…"

"You've been guarding an empty room, moron." huffed Rodney. "I'll be in my lab!" He stormed out tapping furiously on his tablet, leaving Ronon and Teyla to confront the baffled guard.

-Two hours later-

The doors to the jumper bay slid open then closed, footsteps echoing amid the darkened puddle jumpers towards the one that was dimly lit.

Carson slowly stepped inside and moved with a slight limp towards the cockpit where John sat leaning back in the pilot chair with his eyes closed, a half empty bottle of brandy between his legs.

His limp was a reminder that he would have to live with; Jennifer had done the best she could and he was grateful.

He eased himself into the co-pilot's chair and closed his eyes, waiting.

"How'd you find me?" John asked, a slight slur in his voice.

Carson opened his eyes and stared out the cockpit window.

"Your l-life signs popped back up on the…sensors a few minutes ago; you had… a-a lot of people worried."

"Humph." John looked up and tapped the jumper's roof. "Thought you had my back, sweetheart." he whispered, then turned to Carson and winked.

"Guess she got tired of hiding me this time."

He smirked at his friend's confused look and lifted the bottle, taking a swig from it.

"I thought you preferred...beer." Carson said.

John shrugged. "Some things call for beer…others..? Hope Woolsey doesn't mind, I found his hidden stash." He snorted and handed the bottle over to Carson who held it for a moment then took a sip and handed it back to John noticing the chain with the ring dangling around his neck.

"You okay, John?"

John sniffed and took another swig before recapping the bottle and placing it on the ground.

"Sure." he replied.

"Everyone is w-worried, they all…wanted to come in here, but I asked if I could…alone."

John gave him a side look then turned to look at the flight panel which instantly lit up coming to life.

He chuckled then gently touched the panel and its lights automatically shut down.

"Looks like it sensed you…you wanted out of here." smiled Carson.

John shrugged.

"Y-you haven't spoken to anyone for… days."

"I'm speaking to you."

"That's why I asked that it was m-me who came in here. They're all out in the hallway…p-pacing with furrowed brows and such."

They both laughed softly at that.

"Your speech is pretty much back to normal Carson, that's great." smiled John.

The doctor's mouth quirked. "I have…a little more to go…b-but thank you." He paused for a moment then sighed turning his seat to face John.

"You know I forgive you, r-right?"

John frowned, suddenly a little more sober than he wanted to be and turned to face his friend.

"We talked about that…I know."

Carson pursed his lips then pointed at the ring.

"You're mourning him, aren't…aren't you?"

John's eyes widened and he huffed, subconsciously touching the ring.

"Now why would I do that, after what he did?"

Carson leaned forward. "That time holds some m-mystery for me. I don't remember…e-everything that happened, but I do remember how much you w-wanted to make Lucius proud."

"And look where that got me…got us…" John's face held disgust.

"I know…" Carson replied. "But you cared about him…you thought he w-was your father. When you t-told me about Khaval and what…happened you were thinking of him as your brother. The...the facts may have been wrong, but the f-feelings don't disappear just because you want them to."

"I can't mourn someone who made me think the way I did!" John said angrily.

"But you are…" smiled Carson sadly.

John stared hard at him, a tear suddenly slipping down his cheek, surprising him, he turned his chair back and stared out of the cockpit window.

They sat in silence for a moment then…

"I just wanted my father to be proud of me." John whispered.

Carson nodded. "You craved...what you never had."

John glanced at him, then back out the window.

"I…he broke me…made me weak, my craving could have gotten you killed!"

"We were b-both hurt in this, John…both of us."

John sighed, "Why did we even remember? Why did we have those glimpses into who we were, when the others, the servants were completely fooled?"

"I-I was wondering the same thing." said Carson. "I asked J-Jennifer about it. She wasn't sure, she thought… m-maybe it might have been something to do with the Ancient gene we have, it might have stopped that…cr-creature in the room you told me about from completely overwhelming us."

"I should have been stronger." said John.

Carson huffed softly. "D-do ya think the same of me? That I should have b-been stronger?"

John looked at him. "No, you were strong…you are strong to get through what you did."

"And you're not worthy of that s-same belief?"

John opened his mouth to respond, then slowly closed it; more tears ran down his cheeks.

"I s-still have nightmares." Carson offered. "I know you do too, but you got to open up and talk about them. I-I talk to you or Jennifer….who do you talk to?"

"You…" sniffed John with a slight smirk.

Carson smiled. "I c-can't even begin to tell you how our talks h-have helped me, and I hope…I hope I helped you however I could. I'll always be gr-grateful to you, John for those talks and…and for being my friend, now…and e-especially on the planet. But you need your team…you need to o-open up and let them in. They'll understand…well… maybe not Rodney."

John barked out a laugh.

"Mind ya, d-don't tell him I said that...agreed?" smiled Carson.

John nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Agreed." he said.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, then John sighed.

"He just wanted his sons back."

Carson frowned, "I know."

John leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, clutching the ring.

"I'm keeping the ring…for Khaval and for the real Nahkhan wherever he is."

Carson nodded, leaning back in his own chair and closing his eyes.

"I hope he found his adventure." whispered John.

"Me too, John…me too." Carson softly replied.

-The End –

So that's it, the story is now complete. A 100% happy ending? No…but maybe a hopeful one? Hmm... :)

I want to thank all of you for following, favoriting, reviewing and reading my story. This story took a long time to write, but it's something I didn't want to give up on. My plot bunny wouldn't let me. Lol!

I wanted to see if I could pull off a sort of psychological hurt/comfort non-rainbow ending SGA story for my longest story yet, and I hope I did my plot bunny justice.

Thank you for taking the time to read the story. I would love to know your final thoughts on it, as it may help me know if I was on the right track with it and/or how my writing could improve for any future stories my plot bunny desires me to write. Thanks again. :)