A/N: IMO, both Harm and Mac shared equal blame for their failed relationship, so I decided to write at least one chapter from Mac's point of view.

Remembering

In the Skies Above Heathrow
May 25, 2007
2300 Local

Mac glanced at her watch. The flight was a half-hour late. She rolled her eyes. She didn't need to look at a timepiece to know they were precisely twenty-nine minutes and thirty-one seconds behind schedule.

Many things about her life had changed in the last few years, but her sense of timing wasn't one of them. On the night Harm's plane went down in the Atlantic, she told Captain Ingles that timing was the one area of her life she never questioned. But if her timing was so great, why hadn't she ever been able to get things right with Harm?

Two years ago, on their last night together, Mac thought they had their chance at being together. Harm confessed he loved her. Proposed marriage. Okay, so it wasn't the most romantic proposal, but it didn't matter. Those five words, "I'm proposing. Let's get married," meant as much to her than if he had wined and dined her and gotten down on bended knee. Yes, she had dropped a hint but that didn't matter.

What are you proposing? And that's not a Freudian slip.

She had taken a chance in going to his apartment. After the debacle on the ferry in Sydney, Mac swore to herself she'd never again be the one to make the first move. More than six years had passed, but she still remembered the pain she felt that night.

How had she missed the signals? Somehow, she'd mistaken Harm's apparent jealousy of Mic for something else. Yeah, it was mean of her to make him think she was topless on the beach, but desperate times called for drastic measures. So when Harm made the statement about men not understanding women, she took it as a cue to bring up the subject of their relationship.

Somehow, she'd been sorely mistaken. When Mic approached her two nights later, declaring his love and offering her a ring, she couldn't—or wouldn't—say no. By agreeing to wear the ring on her right hand, she made one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Her relationship with Mic all but destroyed what friendship she and Harm had.

When they returned from Sydney, Harm took up with Renee. Then when Mic showed up, saying he'd resigned his commission to "be with the woman I love," the real trouble began.

Mic pushed, she relented. And before long she found herself engaged to a man she didn't love, all because she didn't want to be alone. Mic promised her the things she wanted—a home and a family. But she didn't love him. Not really. There was only one man who held the key to her heart. And he'd pushed her away.

She should have known it would never work out. Looking back, she realized how much Mic had manipulated her. He forced her to wear the ring on her right hand. Made her feel guilty over him not being able to find a job and threatened to move back to Australia. To stop him from going, she moved the ring and allowed him to move in with her. Then she let him plan the wedding of his dreams—not hers. She was miserable.

When she learned Harm was going to the Patrick Henry to do his six-month carrier quals and wouldn't be at her rehearsal dinner, possibly missing the wedding she'd been angry.

Harm you fly maximum two, three times a year. And for that you risk being at my wedding?

I didn't consider it a risk.

No, the truth is you didn't consider it important.

Hey, slow down Mac. First off this was arranged long before you even set the date. Secondly, frankly, if you need me at your wedding to make it work, maybe you should consider who you're marrying.

He realized what he'd said and tried to apologize.

Hey, Mac.

Have fun.

Aren't you going to wish me luck?

She let the elevator doors close without saying a word. The problem was, Harm had spoken the truth, but she was too damn prideful to admit it. She was having a wedding she didn't want to a man she didn't love. It took her a while to realize deep down she hoped Harm would show up, admit his feelings for her, and put a halt to the wedding. Like that was going to happen. Harm was too honorable—a trait she both admired and at times hated. Why couldn't he for once let go?

When they learned his plane went down in the ocean and his fate was unknown, the guilt she felt was almost unbearable. Mic tried to comfort her, but he didn't understand. That's when she knew it would never work with him. Oh, she tried to put on a good front. When he told her he was moving out, she actually cried. But it wasn't for him. It was because she didn't want to be alone.

When she went to Harm's loft the night Mic left only to find Renee there, her heart sank. She stood in the pouring rain and saw the two of them embrace. Harm had Renee. She had no one. So she ran away to the Guadalcanal.

But that wasn't the worse mistake she made. It began two years later in Paraguay. Harm tried to talk her out of going. She accused him of being interested in her only when she had one foot out the door. No, she had to be the gung ho marine and accept the assignment, knowing that Clay's missions always had a way of going south.

Not only that, she practically ignored Harm when he came to save her, throwing Clay in his face. Why she'd had to gall to tell him never was beyond her. She was damn lucky Harm spoke to her after that, let alone the fact he remained her friend. Yes, they had a period of ups and downs. They spoke harsh words to one another. Said hurtful things. But in spite of all that, he was always there for her when she needed him most.

Then finally, finally, Harm admitted his feelings on a warm April night. But she had to screw things up.

In London?

Yeah, London works for me.

San Diego works for me.

That's when things went terribly wrong. And it was all her fault.