2 months later-

"Hi, Gabby," the voice weakly croaked past the pale lips of the blonde man who laid a bouquet of flowers on the grave, propped against the stone.

Casey had crouched down in front of the tomb so he could read the epitaph, there were no words for how different it was seeing it in person. The black sunglasses he wore tinted the stone but he could still make out the engraving.

The day had certainly fit the atmosphere, dark and dreary, rain threatening to pour down any minute, there were still a few hours left in the day but the sky was so black it looked like nightfall already.

He didn't know how long he'd actually been at the cemetery, when he first came he took solace in losing himself among the tombstones and being alone, isolated from the entire outside world. Now, without even standing up or turning around, he sensed a presence nearby watching him.

"How'd you know I was here?" he asked.

Severide made his way down the rows and called over to the Truck lieutenant, "I know you."

It was a year to the day since Gabby's death. Kelly had hoped that if anything could make Casey come back to Chicago, this would be it, he'd staked out the grave all day but had made sure Casey wouldn't see him when and if he came. Kelly could never explain to anyone how grateful he was that Matt had shown up for it.

Casey stood up and turned to face the Squad lieutenant. Being gone for two months, Kelly wasn't sure what to expect when Casey finally resurfaced, and he couldn't completely hide his surprise at the change in Matt's appearance. He was a shade paler than he had been when Kelly last saw him, the black shades concealed his eyes completely, and Severide guessed that Casey had been eating regularly but he couldn't tell because the bulky black coat Casey wore that went down to his knees practically engulfed his whole form. If the situation wasn't so serious, he might've made a joke about Casey being too old to suddenly become a goth.

The two men stood a good 10 feet from each other and just looked at one another, and for a moment, neither could move, or speak.

Finally Kelly took the first step literally and figuratively and asked as he approached the blonde man, "You okay?"

Casey nodded once, almost mechanically.

Kelly enclosed the space between them and reached his arms around Casey and hugged him, desperate to actually feel that it was real and he was really there. Through the coat, he felt about the same.

"We were all worried about you, man," Kelly told him.

He was surprised when he actually felt Casey's arms around him in return. "I told you not to."

"I know." Kelly pulled back and got a look at him up close and personal, despite the situation he couldn't resist a small laugh and told Casey, "You look like Horatio Caine on CSI: Miami."

The corners of Casey's mouth turned up in an attempt at a smile, a grunt of a laugh escaped his lips. "I can think of worse things to look like."

Suddenly being so close to Casey after not knowing where he was or even if he was still alive for so long, Kelly felt scared to let the man out of his sight, his reach, and he hugged him again, needing to know that this was real, and he wasn't about to just wake up getting a call from the police.

"Where'd you go, man?" Kelly asked him as he held tightly to the blonde man.

Casey weakly shook his head and responded, "Just been around...I had to get away for a while."

Kelly felt his breath shaking as he tightened his grip impossibly moreso on the other man. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want you trying to stop me," Casey answered simply. He tried to pull back, and asked Severide, "You told them?"

"You told me to."

"I know...you did?"

Kelly nodded anxiously.

There was a pause as Casey took that in. "How'd everybody take the news?"

"Hard," Kelly answered. "But they know...they know it wasn't anything you did. Casey, everybody's been worried about you..." he knew it wasn't the right time or place but he couldn't stop himself, "I didn't know if you were dead or alive."

"I'm sorry," Casey responded in an emotionally distant tone, almost as if it were an afterthought.

Kelly looked at him. "But you're alright?"

Casey nodded, "Yeah. I..." he turned back towards the grave. "I'd like to stay a minute."

"Sure," Kelly backed off.

Casey crouched back down to look at the tombstone.

"I still love her," Casey admitted to Kelly, who stood behind him and didn't say anything. "Even with everything she did to me, I still love her."

Kelly didn't know what to say.

"It's taken me a while to figure that out," Casey told him. "I tried to hate her for what she did...I just couldn't."

Kelly stepped over towards his friend and crouched down beside him and said, "I guess that's just natural."

Casey turned to him and asked, no emotions readable on his face, "You think she ever loved me, really?"

Kelly paused as he thought about it, and shrugged, "I don't know. I guess in some way...she must've thought she did."

"I loved her," Casey turned back to the stone, "but she hurt me so many times, in so many ways I couldn't even imagine being possible...I just don't get it."

"Probably none of us ever will," Kelly replied.

"I forgive her," Casey told him. "If I'm ever going to get past this, I have to."

Kelly struggled to manage a small smile as he reached over and rubbed Casey's back. "You're a better man than me."

"It's not for her," Casey said. "I'm never going to move on if I keep obsessing over what happened, it's letting her keep a hold on me." He took in a breath, sighed, and told Kelly, "So I'm letting go of her."

Kelly had a good idea that Casey wasn't finished there and told him, "I'll give you a minute," and headed towards the gate.

He turned back once and saw Casey crouched down in front of the grave again, and he could hear Casey talking, but his voice was too low to make out any of the words. Kelly stood outside the gate and waited, Casey stayed for a few minutes, then as he stood up, Severide would swear he saw Matt actually hugging the tombstone for a second before he turned and walked way.

The man walking towards him looked like a stranger. Casey seldom ever wore sunglasses, even in the dead of summer, even out on Boden's boat, he never wore them, the clothes he normally wore were gone and in their place was a black pair of boots, black jeans, and a coat that nearly swallowed him, all of which starkly contrasted with his pale complexion. Kelly was almost scared to ask what he had been through the past two months.

The air was damp now, the sky was even blacker, the rain was definitely coming, it was just a matter of when, would they still be here or on the road when it happened? Maybe Casey didn't know it, but the weather in Chicago had largely been just like this the whole time he was gone, a perfect fit, Severide thought, to match everybody's moods with their lieutenant missing.

Casey exited the cemetery, and walked over to Kelly, and didn't say anything at first...then he said to the Squad lieutenant, "Kelly...can I come back with you? Just for the night," he added quickly. "Just to get through tonight." The date and all the connections to it had definitely not been lost on Casey during the time he'd been gone.

Kelly gripped Casey's shoulders, looked him in the eyes and told him, "Casey, you can stay with me as long as you want, you know that."

Nothing shone through from the black lenses staring back at him.

"Just for tonight," Casey insisted. "I don't think I can be alone right now."

Kelly pulled the other man against him and hugged him. "You won't be. I promise. Come on, let's go."

"That was a good dinner, thanks," Casey said as they sat down on the couch, his voice devoid of almost all emotions.

"Don't mention it."

Outside the rain was beating down on the city and the night air had gotten cold, inside the apartment it was dry and warm and brightly lit. It was only now that the meal was over and they were settled for the night, that Casey actually took off his sunglasses. Kelly looked at him, trying not to stare, but he couldn't help noticing the blue eyes looking older and tired, and he noticed the new lines around Casey's eyes, it was like he'd aged 5 years in the 2 months he'd been gone. He'd shed his coat upon entering the apartment and Kelly also noticed that he had in fact lost some weight, not much but enough to notice, enough to be concerned about his well being.

"Casey...what're your plans for the immediate future?" Kelly asked.

Casey blinked. "Depends what you mean by immediate...you mean in the next five minutes, or two hours from now, or tomorrow, or next week?"

"Are you back?" Kelly asked. "I mean...are you really back?"

Casey inhaled, then sighed, "I really didn't mean to worry you guys...I just thought I'd lose my mind if I stayed here any longer."

"Where'd you go?" Kelly wasn't sure if he should actually ask, but after what they'd been put through, he felt he had a right to know.

"Nowhere in particular, just got out of here for a while," Casey answered as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I know that doesn't explain anything, I'm sorry...just kind of floated around...I went to see my mom."

Kelly wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he went with the first question in his head. "How's she doing?"

"She's good...good...I told her what happened," Casey told him.

Kelly blinked. "You...told, your mom?"

"I thought if anybody would understand..." Casey pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a second. "Anyway, it's not like our relationship's that great, I wasn't risking upsetting too much."

There was silence as Kelly tried to process that. "And how...did she take the news?"

"She cried," Casey answered. "We both sat up all night crying...it was the first time she held me all night since I was 8 and had the flu."

Kelly didn't have any idea how to respond, so he opted to say nothing, and hoped Casey wouldn't misinterpret it.

Casey got out a small sound that might've been a laugh, but there was no humor to it. "Pretty bad when the only thing that can bond a mother and her child is being abused by the people they loved." He turned to Kelly, his eyes shining with tears that had started to develop but didn't threaten to spill over, not yet anyway. "But you know something? I think it actually helped...I think being able to confide in her of all people...actually did me some good."

"Well I'm glad to hear it," Kelly finally said.

"I think I'm finally, really coming to terms with everything," Casey told him. "I think...I think I'm going to be alright now."

Kelly felt his own eyes stinging as he heard this admission.

"I'm glad you're back, Matt."

"I'm glad to be back, I missed you, I missed everyone at 51," Casey told him. "Hey, thanks for helping me get through this year."

Kelly managed a smile as he replied, "That's what I'm here for. Back to the original question, any plans for the immediate future?"

"Why?" Casey asked.

"It has been a bad year, and honestly, the weather alone has been enough the last few months to depress anybody. Before you left I was going to ask you if you wanted to go with me on a trip."

"What trip? Where?"

"Well I did some checking," Kelly leaned back against the couch, "and it turns out the weather in Myrtle Beach is very good right now."

"Myrtle Beach?" Casey repeated, then thought of something. "Doesn't Voight have a condo down there?"

"Yeah, but I thought that'd be too weird, but I found some hotels near the beach that would be great to stay at."

"I've never been there," Casey said.

"Neither have I, but it's 85 and sunny there, and that's got to beat the unending rain and cold here," Severide responded.

"What'd you do, already make a reservation?"

"No...I wanted to be sure you were actually coming back," Kelly admitted.

Casey looked straight ahead and nervously licked his lips as he took that in.

"I really didn't mean to worry everybody," he told Severide.

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"Uh...yeah, I'd...I'll go with you, when?" Casey asked.

"Figure some time next week?"

Casey nodded. "That should be plenty of time for me to get everything in order."

"Great, I'll get our rooms booked."

"Uh...Kelly..." Casey glanced around the living room, "do you mind if...would you...I mean..." he sucked in an uneasy breath and blurted out, "Would you stay out here with me tonight?"

Kelly looked at his friend, and understood what it had taken for Casey to even ask that question.

"Of course I will," he answered simply.

Kelly felt a weight pressing against him, he opened his eyes and saw he'd fallen asleep on the couch and Casey was laying on him, also asleep, his legs pressed against Kelly's legs, his head using Kelly's chest for a pillow. He wasn't sure how they'd wound up like that, the last thing he remembered was the two of them watching TV and talking, catching up on what had been going on during Casey's absence, and they had both been sitting up at the time.

One year. One whole year since Gabby had been killed, and Kelly found out the truth of what his best friend had been going through for months, suffering in silence. Two months since he'd lost his best friend and worried he'd never see him, least of all alive, again.

Outside Kelly could hear the rain tapping against the window, he tried to shut it out of his mind and instead focus on the two of them there in his apartment were it was warm, the lights were still on, and now that Casey was back and with him, it just felt like he could shut the rest of the world out for a little while, and take some comfort at having Casey back in his life, in his apartment, and despite the bumps he'd had already since being back, genuinely seemed to be doing alright.

For a moment, all the anxiety and fear of the last two months came flooding back, it almost seemed too much to hope for, that Casey was actually back in Chicago, actually right here with him. Despite the sheer weight of the man pressing against him, Kelly still needed reassurance that this was real and Matt was there. He moved an arm out from under the Truck lieutenant and draped it over his chest, feeling the rhythmic movements as it went up and down and the slow steady pulsing of his heart.

Casey's breath caught in his throat and he opened his eyes and craned his head back. "Kelly?"

"Just me, buddy, go back to sleep."

Casey certainly didn't need to be told twice. But he looked behind him and saw Kelly using his free arm to reach for the light to shut it off.

"Kelly," he said suddenly, "...can you leave it on, please?"

Kelly drew his hand back. "Sure." He reached over and grabbed the heavy blanket draped over the back of the couch and pulled it down on both of them and got it smoothed out over them.

"Better?" he asked.

Casey tiredly nodded, "Yeah, thanks."

"No problem." Kelly replaced his arm across Casey's chest and told him, "I got you, Casey, go back to sleep."

Casey inhaled, yawned, and murmured as he closed his eyes, "Thanks, Kelly."